“Where would I go when everything I need is here?” He pointed to Brutus’s back. “No saddle. We’re just out for a walk.”
She turned and gazed up at the bright moon. “Couldn’t you sleep?”
Stepping next to her, he let Brutus nibble some grass. “No. I didn’t like the way we ended our evening together.”
Her eyes wide, she turned toward him. “You cannot sleep because I left the assembly a bit early?”
A stableman yawned and stretched in the yard before looking over at them.
Wesley gripped Brutus’s lead too hard and the horse pulled back. Frustration warred inside him as he cooed to sooth the horse. “There was more privacy in a house full of people or in London.”
“Do you require privacy, my lord?” With her head cocked and her hair hanging loose around her shoulders, she was adorable. She’d covered her cotton night dress with a heavy cloak and the green of her eyes shone in the light of a full summer moon.
“I require time alone with you.” He reached for her hand, but she pulled back.
“Why?”
Two more men who worked around the inn stepped into the yard and chatted as they crossed to the stable.
“Would you ride with me, Mercy? If I asked you to get on this horse and ride out of here for a few hours, would you do it?” He longed to tell her everything, but not in public where they were sure to be interrupted every five minutes by the coming morning and all the activity of inn business. The guests wouldn’t wake for several hours, but the staff and servants would be rising with greater frequency as the moon gave way to the sun.
“I don’t understand.”
He blocked the view of her from the inn. “I need to talk to you. I need for you to hear me. Each time I’ve tried, I have failed either because I am an idiot, or because the setting was too public. Please, I’m begging you, Mercy.”
Her throat bobbed as she swallowed several times.
His hand slid down and he let his thumb caress the soft skin of her neck.
“What are you begging me for, exactly?” She pulled her shoulders back like a warrior queen.
His heart was too full and it was hard to speak. “Just some time. An hour away from everyone and everything.”
“My aunt would call it foolishness to tempt a man in such a way.” She never let her gaze fall from his.
Of course, she was right. Still, he had to have time before things were so out of accord that he’d never win her. “I would never do anything you did not wish, Mercy. You will always be safe with me.”
Wordlessly she nodded.
Before she could change her mind, or he lost his nerve, he gripped her waist and put her on Brutus’s back, then swung up behind her. Pulling her tight against him, he wanted to shield her from the horse’s back. At least, that’s what he told himself as her body molded to his front with maddening perfection.
Once they were out of town, he slowed their pace and continued up the hills to Whickette Park. He thought at some point she might protest, but she sat still, leaning against him without a word.
He jumped down at the gate and immediately missed her warmth against him.
She held Brutus’s main as he walked her through to the elliptical yard. She must have tossed her dress over her night rail, leaving white ruffles peeking out at the bottom. She took his breath away.
Reaching up, he helped her to the ground and held her a moment longer than was necessary. Her upturned chin let him see her strength and also her vulnerability.
Reluctantly, he released her and looped Brutus’s reins to a ring mounted in the paw of one of the guarding lions.
When he turned, she was beside him. “Are we to talk here? We need Aurora’s key to enter the manor.”
Wesley took her hand and kissed the back. “Not really. It was just more polite to use her key than the alternative.”
Her eyes lit with amusement. “What alternative is that?”
Tugging gently, he led her around to the back of the house, through the overgrown kitchen gardens to a side door that led into the solarium. “The lock on this door has never worked properly. I remember my grandmother nagging Grandfather to have it fixed when I was a boy.”
Mercy’s laugh was full and joyful. “All this time anyone could have made their home here and only you knew about this silly little unlocked door.”
He shrugged. “The people in the village and the neighboring farmers would never have let anything untoward go on at Whickette. It was always safe.”
The plants that once filled the solarium were long gone, but two long settees remained in the center of the windowed room. Mercy pulled her overcoat around her and sat. “You have me here, Wesley. Now what?”
His stomach churned with a dozen bumblebees. “I’m not certain how to begin. Things seem to have gotten away from me.”
“What things?” She cocked her head.
Pacing was only making his nervousness worse. He sat next to her and stared at his hands in his lap. “I think it’s important that we first discuss Lady Radcliff.”
Sitting up perfectly straight, Mercy clasped her hands in her lap. “All right.”
“I have no intention of courting her ladyship, nor will I ever propose marriage to her.” It should have bothered him to say it while sitting inside Whickette Park. It was, after all, his motivation for getting involved with these Wallflowers of West Lane to begin with. Yet his attachment to the place had waned considerably. It would be nice to reclaim his ancestral home, but other things had taken precedent in his heart and mind.
“What do you find lacking in Aurora? She is perfect in every way.” Mercy defended her friend.
The clear effrontery in her tone made him laugh. “She is perfect, just not for me. I might add that she has no interest in me either. Though, as close as you are, I’m certain you already knew that.”
Shoulders slumped, Mercy stared at the floor. “Aurora thinks of you with great esteem. That is a pity you two are not suited. I know how much gaining this house back means to you.”
“I seem to have lost interest in fixing old mistakes,” he said.
Outside light glowed just at the horizon, making the ragged gardens look more fairytale than forgotten. Mercy stood and walked to the window. “You will not marry to gain back what your grandfather lost and you have said you cannot afford to buy the land and house from Aurora. Then you have given up on your dreams.”
The sorrow in her voice spoke to him more than her words. “My dreams have altered.”
“Oh?” With her long reddish-blond hair loose and the light behind her, she fit perfectly into the fairytale as his warrior queen.
He crossed to her and stopped just before touching her. “I admit I wanted to marry Aurora in order to gain back this place, I never pretended anything else. But standing here now, I only wish I had been less of a fool.”
She turned and faced him. “You have been very forthright. Still, I don’t understand.”
“Don’t you?”
Her hair covered half of her face. She pushed her spectacles higher on her nose. “No.”
These few days of travel had left the most adorable freckles on her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. He longed to kiss each and every one.
Reaching out, he tucked her silken strands behind her ear to reveal a blush. “I should have known from the moment I danced with you I could never court another.”
Her mouth opened as if to speak, but she closed it again.
Open or closed, her mouth was more distraction than any plot or quest he made over his lifetime. “I never quite got over you, sweet Mercy. I tried to like another, but my attraction to you was too strong.”
“Perhaps once we are apart, you might find a woman with the funds to afford you Whickette Park. I’m sure Aurora will do nothing but collect the rents for quite some time.” Mercy to
ok a step back but the glass wall prohibited her from escaping.
“I’m afraid that won’t do either.”
“Why not? Once I am not in your purview, I’m sure the attraction will fade and you will be able to get all the things you want. It was kind of you to explain all of this to me, but really quite unnecessary. Men and women make missteps all the time, as we did in that hidden office. No one need ever know and I am unharmed.” She scooted to the right and slipped around him. Her back to him, she walked to the hallway that led into the ballroom.
Wesley followed. When she stopped, she leaned her head on the fireplace statue of a goddess.
“Mercy, whatever you think of men and their tendencies to take advantage of young women they care nothing for, may be true, but that is not what happened with you and me.” He didn’t want her to run from him so he closed the distance but didn’t crowd her.
“It was an accident that we were locked in that room together.” She took off her spectacles and wiped her eyes before putting them back on.
“What happened in that office was no accident, nor is our being here now. I am at fault for your misunderstanding. Please forgive me.”
Finally, she looked at him. “What is there to forgive?”
“I never told you how much I love you. I should have said it a long time ago and there is where I have been a fool. All these months, I thought I could use logic to change what was already right in front of me. I love you, Mercedes Heath. I shall never want another. Tell me you’ll be my wife and make me the happiest of men.” He spread his arms out and hoped she would see how much he needed her and that nothing stood between them.
Shaking her head, she said, “I have nothing. No money, no relations to speak of. You will never gain what you need if you marry me and one day you will come to resent me as the person who kept you from your dreams.”
He closed the gap and took her hands in his. Kissing each one, he took a long breath. “You are my only dream. I don’t care about this house or the property or the stupidity of my grandfather. In fact, I think perhaps he did me a favor.”
She narrowed those stunning green eyes. “How so?”
“If Grandfather had not acted an ass and lost our ancestral lands and most of our other holdings before getting himself killed, I would not have worked to gain them back, and might never have seen Lady Radcliff’s beautiful friend at the ball where we first danced.” His gut clenched at the thought that if one thing had been different, he might never have known this amazing woman.
Mercy pulled her hands back and stared at them, then at him. “You love me?”
“More than anything.” It took all his will not to pull her into his arms.
Reaching out, she made to touch his cheek, but held back. “You want to marry me?”
Grasping her outstretched hand, he pressed her palm to his cheek and leaned into her touch. “More than I have ever wanted anything or shall ever want anything.”
“But you danced the first two with Aurora. You walked this very house with Aurora just yesterday. You were clearly courting her and pulling away from me.” She pulled her hand back as if burned.
“Because Aurora said that her mother would make you miserable if she knew my affections were unalterable.” He held his breath while this amazing woman decided their futures.
Blinking several times, she walked around him and headed back to the solarium. “You were protecting me from Lady Marsden’s wrath?”
“Yes.” Where the ballroom had been dim, the solarium was filling with light as the sun crept upward.
“I thought you and she had come to an agreement.” A shuttered breath pushed through her lips as she sat on the settee again.
Kneeling in front of her, he said, “We have, my love, just not the one you imagined. Aurora and I acknowledged my affections for you and agreed to put on an act for her mother in order to protect you.”
“You might have told me,” she scolded.
“I should have gone directly to your aunt and asked for her permission to court you the very morning after being locked in with you. I tried, but it seems Lady Marsden is everywhere. Each time I wanted to talk to you, the dowager was present or we were in a crush of people.” He made excuses. “Forgive me. I was cowardly and a fool.”
Mercy stared at him unmoving as his heart broke in two. “I do not make this declaration lightly, Mercy. I have never spoke these words to anyone else. However, if you do not share my feelings, I understand.”
Leaning forward, her lips turned up in the sweetest smile before she pressed them to his. “I love you, Wesley. I have from almost the moment you asked me to dance at the Duke of Breckenridge’s ball. I could have skewered you with my hatpin at the theater, if I’d wished to stop you sooner. But stopping that kiss…I couldn’t make myself do it.”
Heart soaring up from the pits of Hell to total elation in the span of seconds, Wesley couldn’t help noticing the touch of sadness in her voice. “Why do you sound as if this is a bad thing, my love?”
Eyes swimming, she met his gaze. “It will be hard for you to understand.”
Rising from the floor, he sat beside her and cupped her cheeks in both hands. Pressing his lips to hers, he felt the salt of her tears touch his soul. “Try me.”
“When my parents died, I was happy to have a kind aunt to care for me. When she sent me away to school, I understood her position and made the best of it. It turned out well and when I came back to London, Aunt Phyllis was widowed and things were fine. Fine was good enough. Fine was all I ever expected from my life.” Drawing a breath, she shuddered.
“I want you to have far more than just fine, Mercy. You deserve a wonderful and fulfilling life.” Parts of Wesley he didn’t even know existed ached for this smart, talented woman who set her expectations so low.
“That’s just it.” She shook her head. “I’m not sure I know how to live beyond fine. I might make you unhappy. I might make a terrible wife.”
Unable to help himself, he laughed. “Impossible. Seeing you every day and knowing you love me would be more than enough to keep me happy. However, I have a hunch that you and I will do quite well together. You shall want for nothing and I shall only want for you.”
Her curved brows narrowed. “What if there are things I want, which you cannot give me?”
Could he have been mistaken about her desire? Doubt crept into Wesley’s heart. “You said you love me, Mercy. Perhaps I’ve misunderstood. Is there someone else?”
“There is no one. I love only you and I shall always love you, Wesley.” The sun gleamed off the solarium windows and Mercy’s eyes filled with tears.
“Yet you do not wish to marry me? Is that what you are trying to tell me?” He swallowed down emotions that would bury him if he allowed them to surface.
“There are things I want to do.” She pulled her shoulders back. “I always expected to be alone. It is not so bad to think one will be a spinster of sorts. I tuck a few coins away each month in hopes that one day I might open my own school where I might teach music. I have several students now who show some promise. Of course, many would never send their children to learn from a woman, but I expect there are some who wouldn’t care if they’d heard me play.”
“You want to be a music teacher?” He couldn’t hide the confusion from his voice.
“I like teaching.” She scrunched up her nose and narrowed her gaze on him. “It is very rewarding to share my gifts with students.”
“I’m sure it is.”
“You disapprove.” She lifted her chin but turned away.
“No. I’m confused.”
Looking back at him, she asked, “What confuses you? That a woman would wish to work and make a living of her own?”
“On the contrary. I can see how that would be very liberating. What confuses me is what that desire has to do with your decision to marry me.” He
held his breath.
“Men do not want their wives to have occupations. They expect their wives to be happy to run the house, keep the servants out of their lord’s way, and to bear children.” She crossed her arms over her chest.
“Mercy?” He adored every inch of her, from the stubborn tilt of her chin to the way she pointed her toes when she sat looking away from him.
“Yes?”
“If you wish to continue to teach or open a school, I will help you in any way I can. If you do not want my help, that too I will understand. Just look at me and tell me if you want to marry me or not.”
Pivoting toward him, she opened her mouth and stared. “I…I do want to marry you.” The statement seemed to surprise her more than him and she covered her mouth with her hand.
Flooded with relief, Wesley pulled her into his arms. “Thank God. You can have a school or a dozen schools if that will make you happy, Mercy. I promise you that whatever it is that will bring joy into your life, I will support the project with my whole heart.”
She wrapped her arms around him and kissed his neck. “I never dreamed this could happen.”
Leaning back, he met her gaze. “Never?”
A blush flooded her cheeks. “Well, maybe in dreams too wonderful to ever believe could come true.”
“We shall make all your dreams come true, love.” Capturing her lips was like holding the North Star in his hand and letting it carry him home.
Chapter 19
His lips on hers was nothing short of a miracle. He loved her. Mercy didn’t know how it had happened, but in the span of an hour, her life had changed and she was happy. Her heart thrummed so fiercely, she didn’t know if she had ever been happy before in her life.
Everywhere he touched her skin licked with fire.
“Wesley,” she gasped out of breath.
He dotted kisses on her cheeks and eyelids. “Yes.”
Sunshine flooded the room as night had given way to morning. Mercy had lost track of the hour she’d allotted him. “Do you think my aunt will wake soon?”
Turning his head, he studied the sun’s progress. “It is not yet seven. Is your aunt usually an early riser?”
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