Yes, I could.
According to plan, I had to go down to the lake and pretend to be playing near the water. I had to throw my sweater near the water’s edge and toss one of my sneakers into the water. Then I had to meet Will near the boathouse. I cried and begged not to be taken there, but Ryan said nothing bad would happen, it was just easier to get across the lake from there. Will was taking me to his house and I had to hide in his pool house. He had a massive house just like Grandpa Chase and Grandma Violet, but they didn’t have a pool house like Will. I had to hide in there until Ryan came home to get me. He said doing it this way would stop Grandpa from hurting me anymore.
I told Ryan about having to take a walk with Grandpa tomorrow and he said that wouldn’t be happening no more. Will would be coming to get me before it happened.
I had to stick to the plan and I would be free, so that night I prayed to God to help me remember. I prayed so hard my fingers cramped from holding them together, but I prayed and I begged for God to let me escape.
Chapter 4
Louise
York, England
1 Week Later
It’s been three weeks since Eve’s hospitalisation. I’m still staying at my parent’s house with Ellie. I haven’t been home to my house in over a week. I packed a suitcase so that I didn't have to keep returning there for my things, and to be honest a lot of my stuff is still at Mum and Dad’s anyway. Johan no longer stays here with us; he eats with us and plays games with Ellie until bedtime but then he goes back to our house to sleep. It’s kind of a routine we’ve gotten into .
I’d received a few apologetic phone calls and texts from Darren, but to be honest I didn’t have the energy or mental strength to fight with him, so I let him blame my ‘outburst’ on my unstable hormones. I love him, or at least I think I do, but he is not willing to be a father and I am unwilling to choose him over my child. So we are at an impasse that I cannot see changing. My heart suffered heavily, thinking this was going to inevitably end our relationship. I do believe he loves me, just not enough to raise a family with me and that hurts more than anything. I rubbed my temples as an impending headache threatened to ruin my day completely.
“I want to go to see Jill,” Ellie said, tugging at my sleeve. I looked down to see she had dressed herself this morning in green tights and a pink pinafore dress. They didn’t go together and none of the buttons on her dress matched up, but I wasn’t going to tell her that.
“I'm not sure about that, sweetie, Jill might be busy.”
“Na-hu,” she said, shaking her head. “I just seen her go in the house.” She jumped up and down, pointing out of the window in the direction of Jill’s house.
“Okay, we will go see, but if she is busy then we come back here, deal?”
“Deal,” she said and ran for the front door. I grabbed my keys and phone and followed her. She was already at the bottom of the drive by the time I had locked the front door.
“Ellie, wait, don’t go near the road.” I jogged down the drive to catch up with her.
I’d tried to go over and see Jill at least once a day, just to check on her and see how things were. I think more than anything she missed Dominic, but he had spent all of his spare time at the hospital. Mum and dad came home at night, slept, Dad went to work but Mum went straight to the hospital. I took Ellie to school, and that was how the weeks passed by. Today was Saturday so neither of us were in school. I’d tried phoning Johan earlier to see if he wanted to go to the play centre with us, but he didn’t answer his phone. He’d been acting a little odd lately, I’d say secretive but it was more than that.
“Ellie,” I called but she opened the door and ran straight into Jill’s house. With everything that had happened Jill had been avoiding us the best she could. If I didn’t go to her I know for a fact she wouldn’t have come to me. And when she saw me with Ellie she would go back into the house as if she hadn’t seen us. Ellie didn’t understand it, she wanted to see her aunt. Dad had asked that I keep a check on his sister; when I asked if he would go round he told me he had tried but Jill wasn’t home. In truth I think she was avoiding him also.
I knocked on the door even though it was open.
“Jill, Jill, I missed you. I come to play with you.” I heard Ellie shouting enthusiastically.
“Oh, Ellie sweetheart, I...I don’t think your Mummy and Daddy will be happy if you’re—”
“Mum said she was sick of hearing the little squirt pester to come over and play,” I said as I walked into the room. Jill was standing behind the sofa, shielding herself from Ellie as if she didn’t want her to go near her.
“Really?” Jill turned to ask me. She lifted a hand to her mouth and her eyes glossed over. She blinked rapidly.
“Oh, little darling, come here,” she held out her hands and Ellie jumped onto the sofa and into Jill’s arms. “Gosh I’ve missed you,” Jill said, hugging Ellie tightly. “Missed you so much.”
I swallowed repeatedly to rid my throat of the huge lump there.
“Jill, Mum and Dad have tried to come and see you,” I choked. I refused to lose control and lumber her with my emotional turmoil. I tried to seem indifferent about visiting Eve, but the truth was, it was killing me not seeing her, sitting with her and holding her hand. I wanted to let her know I loved her and I was so sorry about what happened. I wanted to talk to her about Johan and his nightmares, Darren and his dick-headedness, and show her my scan picture of our little bean. I still hadn’t shown Mum and Dad. It didn’t feel right when Eve was in the hospital.
“I know, I just don’t...I can’t handle them at the moment. I know they’re angry but...I don’t have it in me to take it yet.” She took a deep shuddering breath. “I know it’s deserved—”
“They don’t want to argue with you. Dad’s worried about you. He comes over every time he nips home, to see you. He wants to see how you are, not rage at you.”
“Pardon?” She looked at me with wide eyes.
“None of us blame you. You do realise that, right?” I took a step toward her. She still held Ellie in her arms.
She shook her head.
“I’m angry at Elliott, not you,” I said, praying she believed me.
“Ell-ot was naughty and hurt Evie-beevie so he’s gone away,” Ellie offered, unhelpfully.
Jill gasped and looked down at Ellie. She pulled her to her chest and rocked her. “He did, sweetie, he was very naughty. But he isn’t coming back so he can’t hurt her again.” Jill closed her eyes, forcing tears to fall down her pale cheeks. I watched as she silently mourned her son and the effects of his betrayal.
“Will you stop hiding from me now?” Ellie asked. “I shout you, and you not answer me. It makes me sad.”
“Yes, I promise,” Jill answered, trying to sound as normal as possible, but I could see her heart breaking.
I wanted to go to her and hold her, show her that we held nothing against her. But my phone started ringing. “Sorry, that will be Johan, I’ve been trying—” I stopped talking when I saw the screen. “It’s Dominic.” I looked up at Jill, who had straightened, watching me expectantly. I slid my finger across the screen.
“Hello?”
“She’s awake, Lou, she’s a-fucking-wake,” he shouted excitedly and my heart pounded in my chest.
“When? How? Is she okay?”
Jill stepped towards me.
“The doctor said it was muscle spasms, because her fingers kept twitching through the night, they were doing it for hours. So I sat by her bed holding her hand as I always do and they got stronger and stronger. Then her eyes started fluttering open...fuck me, I can’t tell you how much I’ve wanted to see those gorgeous brown eyes. She’s awake, Lou.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “We have her back. My beautiful Eve is back.”
I covered my mouth as an emotional teary laugh escaped.
“Lou?” Jill asked, coming closer and placing her hand on my arm.
“Who’s that?” Dominic asked.
&nb
sp; “Your mum.”
“Put her on a sec.”
I held out my phone to her but she shook her head. When I insisted, she took the phone, placing Ellie gently on the floor.
“Dominic?” she whispered.
I could hear him talking but not what he was saying.
“I’m so sorry,” she sobbed, covering her eyes with her hand. She nodded a response to something he said. Then clearly realised he couldn’t see her. “Yes...I love you too,” she whispered and again I was back to battling my emotions.
She handed my phone back and turned to leave the room, her shoulders shaking with silent sobs.
“Dominic?”
“Is Mum okay?” he asked softly and I could hear the concern in his voice.
“Not really. She thinks we all hate her.”
“Jesus! Listen, thanks, for being there for her.”
“I wanted to come see Eve. I just, I wasn’t allowed and—”
“I told her, I said you’d be getting ready to kick NHS butt if they didn’t let you in soon.”
I laughed at that. “Yeah?”
“Right, I gotta go see my girlfriend...how fucking ace does that sound?”
“Fantastic. Tell her I miss her.”
“I will. See you in a bit.” He ended the call.
I stared at my phone and for the first time since my sister was taken to hospital I genuinely smiled. I tapped my phone screen and held it to my ear, then called the only person I wanted to speak to right now. I needed to hear his voice and I couldn’t explain why. No, that was a lie. I could explain why, I just didn't want to acknowledge it.
“I’m not available so you know what to do.” I hated his answering phone message.
“Johan, it’s Lou...” I ended the call. I didn’t want to tell him like this, I wanted to be there, to see his face light up.
“Jill?” I shouted. I walked into the kitchen to her. “Jill, would you watch Ellie for me, just for a little while. I want to go see if I can find Johan and tell him about Eve.”
She looked stunned at first then a slow smile spread across her face. “Definitely.”
I kissed Ellie goodbye and told her to behave whilst I was gone and practically ran to my car.
Guilt seeped into me as I drew closer to the house, when realisation struck that Johan must have been the one to clean the place after everything that had happened with Eve. I understood from her injuries there must have been a lot of blood around. I had left him to rectify the house and deal with it all by himself and I felt like shit for that. He already had so much on his shoulders to deal with and I’d added to the nightmares by being so selfish. God, I really am the bitch everyone believes me to be.
I put the car in first gear and crawled it towards our house. I frowned when I noticed a small blue car in the drive. It wasn’t Johan’s; his was parked further up the drive. I parked on the road and got out of the car. Just as I turned to walk up the drive, the front door opened. I smiled and my tummy did a silly little flutter. It quickly plummeted to my toes though when a gorgeous blonde walked out. She had her hair in a messy bun, but still looked like she’d walked out of a fucking salon. She had a ratty sweatshirt on and a pair of black leggings that were splattered with what looked like white paint. On me that outfit would make me look like a homeless tramp, on her she looked like the fuckable wench she clearly was. She’d been shagging my...I mean, Johan in my house, whilst I’d been trying to call him about Eve. I felt enraged because my sister was the important element in this scenario, not my trampled heart. And why did I assume they had been shagging? Because the infuriatingly gorgeous Johan was topless in a pair of...oh God...low-riding tracksuit bottoms while he rubbed his damp hair with a towel.
He laughed at something she said just as he spotted me, and just as quickly as they had appeared in the door his smile vanished. Yeah, arsehole I’ve caught you. Why it bothered me that I’d caught him saying farewell to his skank, I had no idea. Oh yeah, Eve! Arsehole.
“Shit!” I heard him mutter, though clearly not quietly enough. Gorgeous blonde turned to see what he was looking at. She caught sight of me, looked confused at first then I saw the moment she realised who I was. She turned to Johan and whispered something. He nodded and looked back at me. They had a weird whispered conversation that I hated and then she lifted her hand and patted his forearm. He nodded and walked towards me, plastering a completely fake smile on his face. I knew it was fake, because his dimples didn't show.
“Lou, I didn’t expect you.”
“Obviously,” I snapped, glaring at him. Chill the fuck out, Lou.
He scowled at me. “This is Emily, she’s Dominic’s secretary. Em, this is Lou, Eve’s sister.”
“Hi, I can tell. You look so much alike.” She spoke in such a sweet voice I hated her even more. Gorgeous and sweet with hair I would kill for.
I ignored her and glared at Johan. “I’ve been phoning you all morning. Ellie wanted us to go to a play centre. You said you’d spend the weekend with us.” Okay, so I made it sound like he had obligations when in reality he owed us shit.
“Oh, er...my phone must be off.”
“You left it in the bedroom, it rang whilst you were—” Emily offered, and I narrowed my eyes at her.
“And another thing...” I paused for added effect. Johan cocked his head to one side regarding me like I was some strange specimen. “Eve is awake. Dominic called earlier and said she’d woken up.” I hated that I got to tell him like this; I wanted to share the happy news, I wanted to celebrate with him. Not be this raving angry bitch that I always seemed to be.
“Seriously. Oh my God, that’s fucking fantastic. When? Is she okay? Can we see her yet?” He dropped the towel, my bloody towel I might add, onto the ground and gripped at his hair. Okay, so I’m hormonal; his body tensed and muscles danced in places I never knew they existed, his arms had the most amazing bulges and dips where skin stretched over—
“Johan, that’s brilliant.” Emily smiled and threw her arms around his neck. His shoulders tensed fractionally as he laughed and hugged her back, awkwardly at first. She giggled and he pulled her off her feet and they both started laughing. My chest constricted and a tight fist grabbed at my heart and squeezed. Tears sprang to my eyes and my lip trembled. I realised I had no one in this moment to share this joy with, I’d left my family to share my moment with Johan. I blinked rapidly; there’s no way I was bawling in front of these two lovers. I turned and walked back to my car. Just as I reached for the handle a large hand wrapped around my elbow and turned me around. Have I mentioned I’m a short arse, yeah well, given the hunk of man flesh in front of me all I had in my line of vision were two very defined pectorals. Johan placed his finger under my chin and lifted so I had to look into his dreamy blue eyes.
“My eyes are up here,” he said, smiling. A full dimple smile.
“I prefer what I was looking at.” I sulked.
He laughed, tugging playfully at my chin.
“What’s wrong, grumpy? Why’d you leave?” His thumb was playing havoc with my concentration as it rubbed along my jaw.
“I...clearly, I was interrupting.” God, I sounded out of breath.
“No you weren’t, we’d finished.” I closed my eyes and tried to rid myself of the horrid image.
“Don’t say that,” I whispered. My voice cracked and I felt even more annoyed at myself for being such a fool. The bastard laughed. Laughed!
“Come on, I’ll show you what we’ve been up to.” He pulled away from me and I felt adrift without his heat. Then it registered what he’d said and I snapped my eyes open and glared at him.
“Are you kidding?” I growled.
“Nope, come on.” He tugged my hand and dragged me up the driveway towards the house. Blonde goddess had disappeared, probably to go restock on rubbers.
“Johan, seriously I am not interested in seeing...that. I don’t need a play-by-play of your debauched sex life.”
He laughed again.
The fro
nt door was already open and I was instantly assaulted by the smell of paint. Still holding my hand he pulled me towards him and stood in the doorway of the lounge. I looked inside and saw he’d decorated it. We had new furniture, a dark chocolate leather chair, and a three seater sofa. He’d wallpapered one wall with a large floral, brown and gold leaf pattern. The other walls were a light mocha colour. The overall effect was warm and homey. I turned to look at him. He was already watching me look around the room. Gauging my reaction.
“How...”
“Emily has been helping me decorate. No sex, no debauchery, just painting,” he said softly.
My mouth gaped open like a stunned goldfish.
“Come on.” He tugged me toward the kitchen and that’s when I noticed he had replaced the hallway carpet. It had been a neutral cream, now it was a rich brown. I couldn't wait to get my bare feet and toes stuck into that.
We walked into the kitchen.
“I haven’t done much in here, just painted the walls, I thought maybe when Eve gets home we could discuss a new kitchen? I kept to the same colour seeing as Eve said you’d painted it when you moved in. So I found the can in the shed and just—” He stopped rambling and gave me a sheepish smile. “Is it okay?”
I nodded because I really hadn’t expected this.
“Come on.” He grabbed my hand again and started walking up the stairs.
“Johan?”
“I...okay, don’t be pissed but I didn’t paint your rooms but I did decorate mine. I thought it maybe needed a little...tweaking, but I’m nervous to show you.”
“I’m sure it’s fine,” I said quietly.
“Well, come see just in case.” He tugged on my arm again. I let out a huff because I wanted to go see the lounge again.
We stood outside his room and suddenly he seemed extremely nervous.
“If you don’t like it I can change it back I swear. I know I took huge liberties but I just wanted—”
Surviving Love (Surviving #2) Page 7
