by S. Ann Cole
What did he want me to say? I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know what to do, but avoid him. No, I wasn’t angry. Why should I be? He’s not my man. Though, I wanted him to be. But if he could lie about something that simple from the outset, then what would a relationship with him be like? How could I trust him?
I wasn’t sure how I felt. And I wasn’t sure how I should feel. I only knew that I desired Natalio in a way that I’ve never desired anyone or anything. That I couldn’t refrain from thinking about him. And that I hated and wanted to punish myself for wanting anyone that much.
Maybe I was over reacting. Maybe I was angrier about the fact that he didn’t kiss me. Maybe I just needed some time to think. Maybe I just needed him. Maybe…
Hitting the reply button, my fingers hovered over the keypad because I knew not what to type. So I sent a blank message. Hopefully that helped.
A minute later he replied.
Thank you.
Turning over on my stomach, I dragged the sheets over my head. It was not long before the Tylenol PM effectively dragged me off into oblivion.
“Return them to the sender,” I ordered.
The tall, red-haired delivery guy who was standing outside my door stared blankly at me with obsidian eyes. It was noon, and for some unknown reason, I was peevish and moody.
Unknown? Yeah, right.
The delivery guy compressed his lips—clearly in an ill-humored state also—and held up his hand to halt the other two guys who were dutifully unloading rolls of fabric from a white truck with the logo, ‘Reel O’ Roll’, on the side.
The materials were lovely, a variation of bright colors. And my hands itched at the need to peel away the plastic and run my hands over the bright yellow roll that the man before me held upright. I loved them. Ideas were already bouncing around in my head of what pieces I could create from them. But I knew, without a doubt, who sent them and I would not accept them.
“Ma’am, I would—” the delivery guy began with trying patience.
“I said return them,” I snapped. “I didn’t order them. I don’t know who sent them and I don’t want them.”
Pressing his lips tighter together—possibly swallowing a curse—the delivery guy gave a curt nod and turned on his heels.
Slamming the door shut, I leaned back against it.
Why did Natalio keep doing stuff like this? I’ve never once asked him for anything, yet he always felt the need to come charging in. At the same time, he wouldn’t tell me who he was because presumably I might be a ‘gold-digger’—as Kelly puts it.
All I wanted was for him to leave me alone. It was the only way I’d get over him. With hard stomps over to my working area off the wing of the living area, I snatched up my Blackberry from the cutting table and furiously typed him a message.
Enough with the philanthropic gestures, will ya?
Salvation Army earned my first visit of the morning and I was allotted enough food and second-hand clothes to last for the next six months!
Therefore, your help, Mr. Nabob, is not needed with anything!
In fury, I tossed my phone and it landed auspiciously on a plush chair a few feet away. An annoying din soon sounded accompanied by muffled buzzing. A roll of my eyes was the only attention it got from me, because I ignored it and channeled all my vigor and attention into completing the costumes I’ve been working on. Mere minutes after seven this morning, Kash had woken me from my sleep—that I’d intended to last all day—and made new orders for costumes. New dancers had joined the staff at Secre X apparently, and were requesting costumes like Kash’s. If I could complete at least a dozen pieces today, then that would guarantee me fifteen hundred bucks tonight. I pressed my feet down on the pedal of the machine and started on my fourth piece…
It was 6pm when I sat back in my chair, smiling with satisfaction that I’d been able to complete three pieces more than a dozen. Sitting around this desk employing my creative skills, I’d lost track of time and had forgotten to eat anything. I didn’t feel hungry, though. My thoughts had been free of the Nelson Nuisance, too. Good.
Twisting and stretching, I stood from my chair. My neck, back and fingers hurt.
I needed to go out tonight. I needed company. Anything to keep my mind off Natalio. What did Tevin and Kelsy have planned for tonight? I wondered. Maybe I should invite them over and we could eat pizza, drink beer and talk crap. Kelly would disapprove, as she always did, but we didn’t care. On second thoughts, I didn’t think I could manage Kelsy and Tevin’s tonguing and rubbing and canoodling. Not tonight. It would only remind me of my loneliness.
Maybe I could call Devon. I’d been giving him the run around for the past week due to a certain order that I’d received from a certain man in black. Tossing my weight down onto the plush chair and grabbing up my Blackberry, I hissed when I noted seven missed calls and two text messages from Natalio.
The first was sent a minute after my angry text at noon.
My heart is dissimilar from that of a philanthropist.
I am only kind to those I am fond of.
I’m very fond of you.
I thought the fabrics would grant you a happy Friday.
Please accept them.
On a sigh I opened the next message which was sent three hours ago.
I stand before you,
But you see me through opacity.
You know who I am,
But you don’t see who I am.
It had been a torturous wait,
In hell I’d burned my faith.
I’d ripped my hair
And gouged mine eyes.
Darkened my soul,
For my life I despised.
My palms I’ve powdered,
For when I hold you next…
N.N.
Oh my God.
Like a fish caught on a hook, my heart fluttered in my chest. He wrote poetry. What did all that mean? Why was he being so passionate all of a sudden? Our lips haven’t even met.
This is all just…too confusing, too overwhelming. And frankly, I was tired of trying to figure the man out. One minute he’s an angry, impassive mystic and the next he’s a passionate seducer.
My head fell into the cupping of my hands. Natalio, you drive me crazy. I want you…but I don’t.
I reread his message again and again trying to assimilate and decode what he was trying to tell me. But I was at a loss. Besides, I’ve never fancied poetry. I gave up. The only way to forget about Natalio was to avoid him. I’d just have to change my number on Monday.
In search for Devon’s digits, I scrolled through my phone book, selected and called. He answered on the second ring.
“Hey, Devon. You up for a movie tonight?”
Stepping from my warm bath the next night, I wrapped myself in a fluffy white towel and grabbed another to dry my hair. Muffled voices rambled down the hall. Supposition was that Brenda had invited someone over; albeit a rarefied action. If it wasn’t her brother, Tommy, I couldn’t imagine who, for it was unwonted of her to entertain guests. I shrugged in thought, maybe the true Kelsy was beginning to show, because I still couldn’t fathom her reaction to Natalio on Thursday.
I’d spent over an hour in the bath, refilling it when the water started to cool and thinking on how to spend my Saturday night. Having dinner with Natalio had been the original plan, but that plan had been expunged since I’d decided not to see him anymore. And he seemed to have finally accepted my obviation, because he hadn’t called or texted me since yesterday.
Devon was definitely out of the question. I could only spare one night of my week on irksome kibitz. He wasn’t as entertaining as Natalio. His touch, gaze or smile didn’t send sizzles through my body. He couldn’t hold my attention for more than five minutes. And he was far too interested in Tevin; always wanting to know how much Tevin divulged to me about his lifestyle. Going to the movies with him last night was like a date of death. He’d bored me into a yawning fit. But then, that could be because I was
already strung out on someone else, and thoughts of that someone just wouldn’t vacate my head. Just wouldn’t let me be. Just wouldn’t allow me to enjoy being with anyone else.
Maybe I could just snuggle up in bed and attempt at concluding that Laura Kinsale novel. Or I could watch that Inception movie—for the fourth time—and attempt, again, at figuring out what the hell’s going on.
When the excess water was dried from my hair and the damp curls rippled down the length of my back, I exited the bathroom. But my feet stopped immediately in their tracks when that unmistakable, indubitable, inviolable voice traveled down the hall and smacked my ear drums.
Shit.
Natalio was here! And he was talking to Brenda.
Edging a step closer to the living area, my ears perked up like those of an alerted dog as I eavesdropped.
“…It’s just a thank you gift, Brenda. Nothing special,” I heard Natalio say casually.
“A gift?” Excitement was evident in Brenda’s voice. “Uh, thank you. I’ll go get Sadie for you.”
Quickly but quietly, I sidled off to my room, grabbed a bottle of moisturizer and plopped down on the edge of my bed, pretending to be oblivious. A moment later, Brenda barged in. She was dressed—if ‘dressed’ was the operative word—in a white camisole tank, no bra, her perked nipples puckering against the thin cotton fabric, and a tight boy-shorts which had the creases of her folds blatantly printing against it, and displaying her smooth, tanned legs. She’d stood before Natalio dressed like that?! And why were her nipples so hard? Was she turned on by him? Wasn’t she a Lovello Nelson fan?
“Lost your manners?” I snapped at her, even though I’d purposefully left the door ajar with the expectancy of her arrival.
At her side, Brenda grasped a neatly wrapped, medium-sized gift box. “You have a guest. Nelson.” A smug grin spread across her face as she said, “He brought me a gift.” She traced her fingers over the box and her cheeks flushed. “If you don’t want him, I’ll gladly take him.” And turning on her heels, she left.
Natalio brought Brenda a gift? Why? What’s he trying to prove? He said he didn’t know her. Who the hell buys a stranger a gift? I thought he said he was only kind to people he was fond of. Was he fond of Brenda? I’d heard him say it was a ‘Thank You’ gift. Thanking her for what, really? My hate for him quadrupled. Exasperated, I tightened my towel around me and stalked out of my room, down the hall and into the living area, stopping dead in my tracks when my sight captured him.
Sweet Jesus, please don’t let me faint. I’m supposed to be angry at him!
In his usual shade, Natalio wore snug black jeans—and, by gad, he was wearing it—a black air force sneakers and a black long-sleeved T-shirt that was tugged up to his elbows. A cross pendant dangled on his formidable chest on a white-gold chain around his neck. He sported a black studded leather wristband. Every feature of his face was sharpened and prominent, because his usually shabby hair was tamed and combed neatly back from his face. Sapphire eyes focused on me and sculptured lips curved up in a white smile.
Lord, give me the strength.
Why did he have to look so intense? So scorching? So irresistible? Resembling every bit the ‘bad boy’ that Kelsy had assumed him to be.
Struggling to maintain my acrimonious demeanor, I planted my hands on my hips to emphasize, “What the hell are you doing here?”
Natalio frowned and I wanted to roll my eyes because I could tell his frown was forced. He knew exactly what he was doing. “I thought we agreed I’d pick you up for dinner as soon as I landed?” His growing bemusing expression was translucently feigned.
“That was before!”
He tilted his head to one side. “Before? Before what?”
My eyes narrowed at him in exasperation. He wanted me to say it. He wanted me to say that I was mad at him for keeping secret who he was and that I didn’t want to see him anymore. He wanted me to express it all…but I couldn’t.
“You know what.” My tone was less severe than before. My anger was dissolving, being superseded by raw, undiluted, Lord-please-forgive-me lust.
“No, I don’t. Tell me.”
He stood about five feet away from me, hands jabbed in the front pockets of his jeans, looking intrepid, relaxed and self-possessed. Not in the least fazed by my seething. While I, on the other hand, was burning, scorched, turning to ashes just by being in his proximity. It wasn’t my anger that had me so heated, no. It was my unquenched desire for him that had me conflagrant. To be touched and kissed and licked by him…oh god, just one touch…
My towel loosened a bit and I hurriedly tightened it around me. “Why are you here, Natalio? Why should I go anywhere with you? Why must I—”
In one swift move, Natalio was before me, breathing my air. His arm snaked around my waist, pressing me into him as he clamped his lips down on mine. I didn’t protest, I couldn’t. Like a slave to him, my mouth opened, welcoming him. He kissed me, hard and fierce, confident and demanding. Then abruptly, he pulled away. A kiss that was harsh and clipped…but slaking.
Eyes closed, I stood reeling in darkness for several moments. When I opened them, Natalio was gazing down at me, his brow raised in that signature, wet-my-panties way. “That’s why,” he whispered.
My heart was a pounding tattoo and my knees jellied. Only hot air escaped when I tried to speak. “I-I’ll…go get…dressed.”
Natalio’s lips curved up in a complacent smile. “Good.”
Touching my slightly swollen lips, dumbstruck by his assault, I turned and wobbled my way down the hall.
What the hell? Will I ever be able to resist him?
Will I ever be able to stay away from Mr. Mysterious in Black?
Chapter Nine
“You look beautiful, Sadie,” complimented Natalio as he led me outside. His fingers gently drummed where they were rested on the small of my back. Determined not to speak, I nodded. I’d decided, while I got dressed, that two could two play his game. So I’d opted for an ankle-length, navy blue velvet off-the-shoulder dress—which was self-made, incidentally. The smooth velvet material leeched onto my skin, accentuating my ample hips and a mid-thigh split displayed the length of my left leg. I hadn’t much time to school my hair, so, utilizing a golden hairpin, I’d pulled away my lengthy hair from one side of my face, revealing that side of my neck. Intentionally did so, because I knew he was fascinated with my neck. Oh yes, two can play the game.
All done in hopes that I would have the same effect on him as he’d had on me when I’d caught sight of him standing, devilishly sexy, in the living area earlier. His sharp intake of breath when I’d sassed down the hall preened and primped, and his lingering eyes on my partial neck, had told me that he did. And inwardly I’d smirked, feeling rather complacent.
Natalio opened the passenger door of his vehicle and stood aside for me to enter. Such a gentleman when he wanted to be. And I loved the fact that, as wealthy as he was, he hadn’t anyone driving us around and opening my doors for me. Proved just how much he craved control. He wanted to open all my doors and maneuver me in every way. And I wanted him to.
Politely I smiled, being sure to avoid his eyes. What a pretentious game we were playing. When he entered on the driver’s side, he twisted and reached for a black pinstripe jacket that was on a hanger in the back. “Guess I’ll be needing this after all,” he mumbled as he shrugged it on. “That dress is…hell, it’s…damn. Who’s the designer? I want to buy you a dozen more like it.”
“Sadie Francé,” I muttered.
He shot me a doubtful glance. “You made that dress?”
I folded my hands in my lap and kept my gaze straight ahead. My silence would tell him that I’d fallen into a deeper sulk for his doubting my skills.
But in all veraciousness, my silence was my implement of hindering him from initiating a conversation. I wasn’t really able to speak just yet, for I was still in vertigo from that kiss. My mind was in disarray and I needed a few more minutes to recover my equi
librium. He wielded too much power over me and I needed to keep my wits about me. He would simply look into my eyes and my body instantly responded to his unspoken words. My body understood and yielded complaisantly, when I barely knew what’s happening. My body was in tune with him, striding alongside him, while my subconscious struggled to keep up. Trying to comprehend what the hell was happening. I didn’t know who he was, but already I think I was enslaved to him. If I could manage to avoid his eyes, then I’d be safe.
How he viewed my reticence to his question, I wasn’t sure, for he refrained from another word. So we drove in silence to the restaurant, and I tried not worry about his current thoughts. Instead, I closed my eyes and inhaled as the air conditioner permeated his expensive fragrance that was subtle but declared ‘I am man’.
When I sneaked a peek at him, I saw that he was trying to smother a smile. But I dared not ask what about. I couldn’t bear to hear the sound of his smooth, caressing voice if he spoke right now. I’d melt.
We were greeted politely by a gangly, brown-haired waiter at the entrance of a restaurant called ‘Vibrato Grill Jazz’ and were led to our table. Warm and inviting was the décor; dimly lit with an intimate ambience. A live jazz band played soothing music on a stage situated at the front, creating that cozy and romantic aura. I closed my eyes and sighed, allowing myself to relax at the sweet melody of the saxophone.
Natalio’s eyes were hot on my face as the waiter continued with his obsequiousness before leaving us to decide on our meal. Maybe he knew the blue-eyed tycoon. I was the only idiot who didn’t.
“Still sulking?” I heard Natalio ask. “Are you going to talk to me anytime soon?”
“Yes,” I replied with my eyes fixed on the menu. “Crispy Calamari for appetizer. Wild Mushroom T—”
