Chapter Eleven
Shortly before dawn on Wednesday morning, Carter woke up and bounced out of bed, grimacing as his left leg protested. Ignoring the pain shooting up and down his thigh, he felt bright and alert despite the early hour and was soon dressed and ready for his run. He hadn’t heard from Madison since she left, but she was supposed to have returned the day before, so he took a chance and hoped she’d be waiting for him on the beach. How he’d react if she wasn’t there he wasn’t sure, but he figured he’d cross that bridge if he came to it.
He set off on the sand just as the horizon started to turn purple and headed towards Maddie’s beach house. The anticipation rose in his stomach as he got closer and a wave of relief flooded his chest when he saw her silhouette standing facing the dark ocean. Why he felt so elated at seeing her there was something he was not going to dwell on for the moment. He was just glad to see his running buddy back, so he didn’t have to pound the beach on his own, that was all.
“Hi, welcome back. How was your trip?” Carter smiled happily at Madison when she turned to face him.
“It was ok. The meetings were good, but the driving was exhausting.” A small smile played on her plump lips and Carter felt his dick swell at the sight.
So, now you react, he thought to himself, exasperated. Not the other night when there was a perfectly willing woman in your arms. Oh no, you had to wait till the one woman who isn't interested came near so you can embarrass yourself in front of her. What the actual fuck? Never had Carter been so glad for the darkness surrounding them as he was at that moment. Madison was chewing on her bottom lip as she often did when she was distracted or thinking something over, and it had become the sexiest sight he’d ever laid eyes on. His cock was now painfully hard, and he had to try to make himself more comfortable while being discreet about it.
“Carter, are you ok?” Madison’s voice suddenly penetrated his lustful images of her in his bed and he swore silently to himself to get a grip on his imagination. She wasn’t interested. Period.
“Yeah, I’m fine, just a bit sleepy still, I guess. Come on, let’s run; I’ll race you to the big driftwood log.” He let her get a head start before setting off at a good pace to catch up.
They went straight back into their routine of running at dawn before Madison went back to hers to work on her articles and blogs and Carter got on with the leg exercises the physio had given him His leg was getting better, but was still giving him grief occasionally and it would seize up in a cramp so painful he’d break out in a cold sweat and almost black out. The doc had said there would be some nerve damage as the bullet had passed right through his leg, nicking the femur and severing several nerve clusters on its way past. Only time would tell if it ever healed completely. He had three weeks left of his medical leave and his boss was getting more and more anxious for him to return. Kampeche had been forced to send Carter’s team on a mission to New Mexico under the command of Gaines, and they’d been lucky to come back alive after a series of bad decisions by their leader. Nathan had been part of the mission as Gaines’ no. 2 but nothing he’d said had made the slightest bit of difference to the choices Gaines made. Carter could feel his blood boil when he read the after-action reports Gaines had submitted. They were full of excuses and justifications and instead of shouldering the responsibility as Commander and grown ass man, he blamed everything that went wrong on the intel, on Nathan, and on the other team members.
He’d just finished the last report and shut the lid of his laptop when his cell rang.
Carter chuckled, “Speak of the devil, were your ears burning?”
“Awww, you were thinking about me, weren't you? Miss you too, sweetie!” Nathan’s deep voice carried across the line.
“Fuck off, you jerk. Seriously though, I just read the AAR’s Gaines posted. What the fuck is wrong with the guy?”
“Yeah, I know. The whole mission was a total shit storm and we nearly lost Baker and Crawford. If it hadn’t been for some quick thinking by our Communications Operator we would all have been six feet under in the New Mexico desert by now.”
“Holy shit. I’m sorry, man. I should have been there to take command.” Carter paced the living room as he spoke.
“Nah, it’s not your fault. You were badly injured and it’s gonna be a while before you’re back in action. Speaking of which, when will you be back? Because I swear, if I have to go on another mission with that fuckwad Darryl Gaines I’m gonna shoot myself. Just so you know.”
“Hell, man. I’m trying. I’m doing all the exercises the physio gave me and I run five miles every morning, but every so often the leg just stops working. The doc said I might have nerve damage that will take a while to heal, but I should be back soon. I’ve only got three weeks left of my medical leave anyway.” Carter sank down on the couch as his leg sent another painful reminder of the injury.
“Well, I’m bloody glad to hear it. The whole team are waiting for you to come back and take charge again. They’re moaning like little bitches, but we can’t say anything because of who Gaines’ dad is.” Nathan couldn’t keep the frustration out of his voice.
“I know it’s messed up, but the boss is trying to do something about it. Just keep the team safe and under control till I get back. I’m relying on you.”
“Yeah, I’ll do my best. But you gotta get your ass back here pronto, or I won’t be held responsible for what they might do. You’d better not be drinking cocktails with pretty ladies every day instead of working on that leg.” Nathan groused. Carter let out a chuckle and shook his head.
“Nope, no cocktails. Not a one.” Carter hung up the phone, still smiling, and went back to his laptop. He had a few emails in his inbox that he’d been ignoring and decided it was time to get them out of the way.
Carter and Madison spent a little more time with each other every day and had been for lunch a few times at the diner, but Carter wanted to take her out on a proper date. He still sported a semi whenever she was around and had resigned himself to having to put up with it until he got back to work and away from her. She showed no signs of wanting to jump into bed with him and he was suffering from the worst case of blue balls known to man. Everything she did turned him on, but her emotions were always shuttered and hidden away, except for the rare occasions when the mask dropped for just a few seconds. What he saw in her eyes during those briefest of moments rocked him to his core. They were filled with so much pain and fear he was surprised it wasn’t bubbling out over the sides. She never shared anything personal about herself and always deflected whenever he asked.
“Does your whole family still live in Virginia Beach?”
“Pretty much. Emma and her husband live about half an hour away, and Trey is just around the corner from me. My parents live on the other side of town, but it only takes about fifteen minutes to get there.” Carter explained, then asked, “What about your family?”
“I don’t have any. I was abandoned as a baby and grew up in the foster system.” Madison’s voice had suddenly turned flat and hollow.
“I’m sorry, that must have been tough.”
“Did you say you had two nieces? I bet you spoil them rotten every time you see them?”
“Yes, Emma goes crazy with me and says I’ll ruin them for life the way I treat them. They’re good kids though, and I like to be the fun uncle. They have me securely wrapped around their little fingers and I’ll do anything for them.”
“I’m sure they must love having you in their lives.”
They had reached the far end of the beach and stopped by a large piece of driftwood that was half buried in the sand. Carter leaned forward with his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. After a few stretches, he flopped down on the sand and leaned back on his hands, watching the sun rise quickly over the ocean. Madison sat down beside him with her knees pulled up to her chest. She rested her chin on her hands and just sat quietly as the skies turned first golden and then slowly changed to a bright blue.
�
�Did you grow up here in Florida?” Carter asked after a little while. Madison didn’t answer at first and he got the feeling she was debating how much to tell him.
“No, I grew up in the Northwest. I came here about a year ago.” Again she fell silent. “Do you not have a girlfriend you should be spending time with instead of me? I mean, you look like the kind of guy who’d attract any woman he wanted.” Madison laughed gently as if she was trying to dispel the muted tone of her reply to his question.
“I did have a girlfriend, but she died in an accident a few years ago.”
“Oh, Carter. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. I just didn’t think…” Madison put her hand over her mouth and looked at him wide-eyed.
“It’s ok. It still hurts, always will, I guess. But I’ve done my grieving and she wouldn’t have wanted me to put my life on hold for her. What about you? Did you leave anyone behind when you decided to come here?”
“No. There was no one.”
There it was again, Carter thought to himself. That pain buried so deep in her voice. To his surprise she started talking again.
“There was someone, we were together for four years. He was my first serious boyfriend and he was wonderful in the beginning. Then…” She clamped her mouth shut and stood up, brushing the sand off her damp shorts. Without another word she turned on her heel and started jogging back the way they came. Carter didn’t know what to think so he just got up and followed her. The whole way back, they ran in silence. His mind was spinning with questions, but he knew Madison well enough to know he wouldn’t get any more answers. There were clearly some dark times in her past, and she had no reason to spill her guts to him. It was best if he left it well enough alone. It didn’t stop him from wondering what had happened and who had hurt her, because it was very clear she’d been badly hurt before. He got the distinct impression from her comments earlier that it had something to do with her ex-boyfriend. He could feel anger churning in his stomach at the unknown man who had caused this beautiful, sweet woman enough pain that she could barely mention having been with him.
When they reached her cottage, she turned briefly and gave him a quick wave before disappearing inside. It left him worried she might not show up for any more runs and he cursed himself for asking too many questions.
To his relief, she was there as usual the next morning when he turned up on the beach below her house at daybreak. While they were cooling down and stretching after one of their runs, Carter decided to risk it and ask her out for dinner at a restaurant in Port St. George. Madison said she’d think about it and would let him know. Later that afternoon, he was surprised when there was a knock on his door, and he found her waiting outside.
“Sorry, for coming over unannounced, but sometimes I hate using phones.”
“No, it’s fine. You’re welcome anytime, come on in. Can I get you anything? Coffee, tea, juice?”
“I’d love some iced tea, if you have it?”
“Sure, why don't you take a seat on the terrace and I’ll bring it right out?” Carter went to the kitchen and returned with two tall glasses of iced tea for them. He sank down in the chair next to her and took a long sip.
“So, I thought about your invitation and I’d love to go for dinner with you, if the offer still stands?”
“Of course, I mean, that's great. How does tomorrow sound?”
“Tomorrow is good. What time?”
“I’ll make reservations for eight, so is it ok if I pick you up just before seven? It’ll take about thirty minutes to drive there and that’ll give us time to find a parking space and have a drink before dinner. Is Italian ok?”
“That sounds perfect, and I love Italian.”
Carter leaned back in his chair with a smile on his face. He felt pretty good about himself and couldn't wait to spend an evening with Madison eating good food and drinking a glass, or two, of wine. He’d already decided he wasn’t going to even try to make a move on her. There was just too much darkness hiding inside the woman and it was clear the hurt and pain was still very fresh. He’d wait until she was ready, if she ever was, and when it was time for him to go back to Virginia Beach, they’d say goodbye and that would be it.
When the thought of saying goodbye to Maddie lodged in his head, he felt his mood shift and a lump form in his stomach. He was getting quite good at brushing it all aside when it concerned her, so this was quickly squashed as well. Only, it didn’t completely go away.
Their date in in town went exactly the way Carter wanted it to. They talked, laughed, ate good food and drank a lovely bottle of wine. There was something very engaging about the way Madison expressed herself, which made Carter feel happy and carefree. Even with the secrets he could sense in her and his own grief over losing Mira, their relationship grew in those few hours and for him at least, lessened the weight of death he always carried around.
“What’s your middle name?” Madison asked with a twinkle in her eye.
They’d been playing twenty questions for a few minutes and he’d found out her favorite color was purple, her favorite subject at school had been history and she took a size 5.5 shoe. Carter couldn’t even wrap his head around such a small foot, especially considering the size of his own. The only thing that he liked about them was the old saying that it stood in relation to the size of certain other body parts. In his case, the saying held true, something he felt quite smug about.
“Ugh. Another question, please.” He groaned.
“No way, there are no passes here.”
“Ok, but don’t laugh. It’s… Jefferson.” Carter grimaced and watched her face through squinting eyes.
“What’s wrong with Jefferson? I think it sounds nice. Carter Jefferson Hollis. It has a nice ring to it.” Madison’s lips quirked up at the corners.
“Really?” He arched a brow. “Then tell me yours.”
“Uhm, I don’t have one. It’s just… Madison.” She shrugged. “My turn. What was your first pet?”
“It was a guinea pig called Freddie. I got him when I was eight, but he only lived for a few years. Since then I haven’t had any pets and these days, I’m away too much to have one. It wouldn’t be fair. Who’s your biggest celebrity crush?”
“Freddie? Where did you get that name from?” Maddie looked at him, her head tilted to the side and her eyes sparkling in the candlelight. “Oops, sorry. Celebrity crush, huh? I’d have to say Chris Hemsworth, but only because I rarely watch movies and one of his was the last one I saw.”
“You don’t go to the movies? How come?” Carter knitted his brow.
“Is that your next question? Because you’ll have to wait your turn.” Madison watched him with a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “First kiss?”
Carter groaned — again. Madison burst out laughing at the pained expression on his face and it made him wish he could make her laugh every day for the rest of his life, just so he could hear that sound.
By the time they’d finished their meal it was late, and the restaurant was getting ready to close. They were the last guests to leave so Carter gave them a big tip on the way out. He had managed to find a parking space just opposite the restaurant and he drove them back at a sedate speed, not wanting the evening to end. When they turned onto Main Street he turned to Maddie.
“Would you like to go for a walk on the beach before I drop you home? It’s a beautiful evening.”
At first, she didn’t respond, and he wasn’t sure if it was because she hadn’t heard him or didn’t know how to decline. He drew a sigh of relief when she looked up at him and smiled.
“I’d love that, there’s something very serene and calming about the beach at night.”
“I know what you mean. My house in Virginia Beach is right on the sand as well, and I often go there to think when I have a lot going on in my head.”
“Is there a lot going on in there now?” Madison almost whispered the question. Carter didn’t answer straight away as they’d just reached his house. He hopped
out, careful not to land on his bad leg, and jogged around to the other side of the car to help Maddie out. She was wearing heels, but promptly took them off and used the straps to loop them around her shoulder bag. Carter took her hand and snuck it under his arm for support, or just to keep her close, and they started walking in the direction of her beach house.
“In answer to your question, there’s a lot more in my head than I’d like there to be. Mostly due to things at work, things I’m not in control of while I'm on leave, but they affect my team badly, putting their lives at risk and there’s nothing I can do about it.” He went quiet, thinking he’d said too much, but she didn’t ask anything else. They strolled through the sand that was still warm from the day’s sunshine. The surf was calm and gently lapping at the edge, and a full moon shone brightly from a star-studded canopy. It was strong enough to light their way without difficulty, and sooner than either of them wanted, they’d reached Madison’s little cottage.
She’d left a light on in the living room which made it look warm and inviting. Carter saw her to the door and was rewarded with a gentle thank you and a quick kiss on the cheek. Her lips were warm and soft, and he caught an enticing scent of jasmine as her cheek grazed his stubbled jaw. Most of all, it succeeded in sending a stream of molten lava straight to his cock, threatening to make that burning hot, bar of steel burst through his pants. He almost grunted out loud, and a vision of yet another cold shower in his very near future flashed through his head. He hated cold showers.
Chapter Twelve
As he walked back, his mind wrestled with his emotions and the mantras of ‘not relationship material’ and ‘love ‘em and leave ‘em’ sounded more and more hollow in his ears. By the time he reached his own cottage, he felt more confused than ever, and he knew he wouldn't get any sleep that night. At least he wouldn't have to suffer the nightmares, so there was always a silver lining. After a freezing cold shower, he got into bed and was surprised to find he was pretty tired. Instead of reading his book, he just turned out the light.
Agent Undone Page 10
