After having gotten in touch with her friend Lily, she’d spent Christmas and the New Year with her and her fiancé but had returned to the apartment in January full of determination to put herself back together and begin her new life. That was a lot easier said than done though, as every phone call from the FBI with requests for more information put her back several steps. They were building a solid case against Konrad and his associates and wanted to make sure they dotted every ‘i’ and crossed every ’t’. Jackson had called a few times to check up on her and had assured her there was no way Konrad would see freedom for a very long time. He was looking at a minimum of twenty years behind bars, if not a life sentence. As much as Jackson tried to reassure, her she wouldn’t be able to relax completely until the trial was over and Konrad was carted off to prison for good. One phone call had turned everything upside down. She still remembered that day with infinite clarity.
“Madison? It’s Jackson. How are you?”
“I’m good, trying to keep busy, you know.”
“Listen, I have some news and I think you’d better sit down for this.” The tone of his voice was serious, and her heart had immediately started racing. She sank down on the couch in the living room and tried to control her breathing.
“Are you still there?”
“Yes. Yes, I’m still here. What’s happened? Konrad is still in jail, isn’t he? He hasn’t managed to escape?” She tried to keep the panic out of her voice but was failing miserably.
“No, he hasn’t escaped. I’m not sure how to tell you this, but Konrad was found dead in his cell this morning. It looks as if he was killed by another inmate. I guess someone took exception to his actions, either in jail or before. We’ll never know.”
“He—he’s dead? That’s… I’m… Are you sure?” Madison could barely believe what she’d been told. Konrad was dead? It seemed impossible, yet Jackson assured her it was true. She was finally free of that monster even though she’d be living with the scars for the rest of her life.
Konrad had died in April, and to her consternation, he had put her in his will as the sole beneficiary and she inherited everything. The FBI had initially told her that any assets proven to have been obtained by funds from the drugs and trafficking would be forfeited and seized by the government. That was fine with her, she didn’t want anything to do with his dirty money. When the lawyers told her everything had been cleared and it all belonged to her, she’d refused to believe them and told them to give everything away to charity. Lily had persuaded her to take her time and not rush into anything. It had taken three months to sell the nightclubs, the apartment and the warehouse. All the money went into an account in Madison’s name, but she refused to touch any of it. Again, it was Lily who had made her see sense. She couldn’t stay in the apartment forever. Sooner or later the FBI would need it back, and she would have to find somewhere else to live. Without any money, she would have to get a job to pay her bills which would mean having to stay in Seattle or starting all over again somewhere new. In the end, Madison decided to keep most of the money in the bank after donating a good chunk of to a local women’s shelter. It was the only thing she could think of to ease the guilt in her heart over not reporting Konrad as soon as she’d escaped nearly three years ago. Her only excuse was having been traumatized by her experiences and living in fear of ending back up in his clutches.
Once everything was taken care of, Madison had to decide whether to stay in Seattle or move onto somewhere new. It was an easy decision to make despite Lily living there. It held too many bad memories, and she needed a fresh start. She packed up her car, said goodbye to her oldest and closest friend with promises of keeping in touch, and set off to find a new place to set down roots.
Madison set a course south with no destination in mind. She followed the Pacific Coast Highway from Northern California all the way down to San Diego, stopping frequently on the way. It took her nearly a month to cover the distance as she often stayed in little towns for several nights to explore and enjoy the scenery. It was summer, and the weather showed its best side with sunny days and balmy nights. Los Angeles was the one place she avoided as much as possible as big cities held no attraction for her. She wanted peace and quiet and to be left alone. Once she reached San Diego, she decided to stay for a bit longer and managed to find a small studio apartment on the outskirts of the city near a small beach. She spent most of her time walking along the water’s edge while trying to avoid memories from another beach tearing apart the carefully constructed defensive walls around her heart.
Eventually, the restlessness and need to be on the move became too much, and she set off on the road again. This time, she headed east, still avoiding larger cities and no goal or destination in mind. Following the interstate, well known cities such as El Paso, Tucson and Houston passed in her rearview mirror but she didn’t stop in any of them. Mostly, she spent only a night or two in smaller towns off the highway, occasionally staying longer when she found something that caught her attention. The people she met were usually friendly, if a bit wary of a woman traveling on her own. Not that she cared. A quick hello, request for information or a food order was about as much as she could manage. She didn’t want to be social, get involved or learn anything about them. Her mind was too chaotic trying to process what had happened and trying to get to grips with her new life, or lack thereof.
With no direction, no goal and no plans, she was drowning in uncertainty and loneliness. Every night when she closed her eyes, the nightmares invaded her sleep. The intensity of them left her reeling and each time she would wake up sobbing and struggling for breath. They were starting to take their toll on her and more often than not she would stop in a lay-by just to close her eyes for a few minutes. Worry about falling asleep at the wheel was constantly in her head, but she had no idea how to stop the terrifying dreams from clawing their way through her mind at night. When she finally found what she was looking for, that elusive place where her heart would be at peace, she would rid herself of the memories causing her sleep problems and finally be able to live again. The dreams she had in between the nightmares were promptly pushed aside and ignored. Yet, the images of warm, chocolate brown eyes, a smile that made dimples deepen, and a voice that sent tingles through her core were never far away, no matter how much she wished they weren’t. They were stored in her heart along with a deep sense of sadness, longing and crushed hopes that were a constant companion on her solitary escape from her past.
It was a few days before Christmas and Madison had found her way down to a deserted Pensacola beach where only a few seabirds kept her company. She sat on the damp sand looking out on a gray and choppy Gulf of Mexico, tears falling freely down her cheeks. She’d crossed the state lines into Florida two weeks ago and still wasn’t sure it had been the right thing to do. A crushing weight on her chest was slowly suffocating her, and shards of panic randomly pierced her heart and threatened to overwhelm her already messed up mind. She was tired of constantly being on the move, tired of being alone, and most of all tired of feeling as if life was passing her by. She was twenty eight, with no home, no family and no future. Worst of all, she was starting to wonder if it was all worth it or if she would be better off ending it all.
A fine drizzle hung in the air, but she barely noticed. She was literally at a crossroads. Did she continue east along the coast or veer northwards towards Atlanta and eventually the Eastern Seaboard? Atlanta was where her editors were located, but it was also where Hugo had first spotted her. The magazines she’d been working for had been surprised and wary when she contacted them to explain what had happened. Luckily, there had been a planned break in the stories to accommodate other events in the national calendar, and they’d had enough material to keep her articles going while they found something else to focus on. Once she’d told them what had happened, something that could be verified in their newsfeed, they were more than willing to have her back whenever she was ready. The problem was, she wasn’t sure she’d ever b
e ready.
The rain was coming down harder, but Madison didn’t care. She couldn’t see the point in anything anymore. She was just driving aimlessly and had no idea what she was even looking for. As she sat on the wet sand, her hair dripping and clothes soaked through to her skin, she had a sudden urge to just walk into the water and let the waves swallow her up. Slowly, she stood up and started for the crashing surf.
The next day, she drove through Port St. George and followed the road towards the beach village. Main Street was nearly empty and finding a parking space was easy. It was just after lunchtime, and she’d been driving for over four hours.
She counted herself lucky that a dog having escaped its owner, interrupting her self-destructive attempt the previous day, had made her reconsider what she was doing. After a lot of soul searching, she’d returned to the little bed and breakfast where she was staying and spent a sleepless night going over her options before making her decision. That morning, she packed up her car and slid behind the wheel before she had a chance to dwell on things too much and change her mind. She purposefully emptied her mind of anything that wasn’t needed for driving and concentrated on the road. With every mile closer to her destination, her emotions wound tighter and tighter till she felt ready to snap into a million little pieces. She was sure she was getting sick from the stress, but she had no idea how to stop herself from falling apart, piece by piece. Her hands had been shaking the whole time and her heart never stopped racing. It was stupid, she told herself. She was just passing through. There was nothing here for her now and she needed to keep driving till she hit one of the bigger towns. Jacksonville was the nearest and she was sure to find both work and a place to live there. If not, she could always continue either north towards Washington or south towards Miami. The only reason she’d come here, she told herself, was to lay a few ghosts to rest, nothing else.
The beach looked exactly the way she remembered it. Its white, powdery sand gave way to her heeled boots as the wind whipped her hair across her face. Shaking with trepidation, she continued along the sand, wet from the spray and light rain in the air. A storm was heading their way and she knew she needed to find a room for the night or face sleeping in her car.
Madison kept her eyes firmly fixed toward the sea as she walked past the house where Carter had stayed. Once she’d passed it, she drew a small sigh of relief. It only lasted a few seconds as the next property along was the cottage that had been her home for over a year. She missed it and the life she’d had while staying there. Hot tears burned behind her eyelids and she wiped them away with her sleeve. A big board was nailed to the railing on the porch which she assumed was a rental sign. The landlord must have wondered what had happened to her and would have gotten rid of her belongings by now. It only added to the sadness that was already infusing her every thought. She stepped closer to see the board. Over and over she read the writing, letting it all slowly sink in. Then she turned on her heel and walked back to the car. A plan of sorts formulated in her mind and she didn’t want to waste any more time.
The sleepy little village still looked the same as if no time had passed, down to the only two places open in the evenings for the off season. Earlier that morning, she’d accomplished what she’d set out to do after yesterday’s walk on the beach. She only had to get through tonight before leaving for good in the morning. She still had no idea where she was going, or what she would do when she got there, but she figured she’d cross that bridge when she came to it. She scoffed at herself. She was getting very good at wishful thinking and deluding herself.
Her next stop was the little diner where she and… nope, she was not going there. She couldn’t even think his name, or she’d be in a flood of tears. There was an empty seat by the counter which she snagged before someone else got there first. It was starting to get busy, and she put her order in for a large coffee and a burger with fries. The diner filled up around her with locals who needed a quick bite to eat. No one tried to engage with her, which wasn’t all that strange as she’d tried her hardest to keep them at arm’s length while she was living here. Now, it seemed a foolish thing to have done. Once she felt she’d overstayed her welcome, she reluctantly vacated her stool and walked out onto the quiet street. Just visible further down the road, the small sign for the only bar open was swinging in the gusty wind and it was beckoning her to step through its doors. She had nowhere else to go except a sparsely furnished room at the B&B which was not the most attractive of options.
Hours later, she’d had enough of the noise and heat of the small bar. The several shots of tequila she’d knocked back were suddenly making themselves known. Her legs were unsteady and a throbbing headache had lodged itself deep inside her skull. Outside, the wind had picked up and was nearing full strength in the strong gusts that came howling up from the ocean. Madison wrapped her coat tightly around her while debating what to do. The sensible thing would be to return to her room for the night, but she couldn’t face being cooped up inside even in this weather. The rain was coming down in sheets, but she hardly noticed. Without thinking, she stumbled along the small road towards the beach cottage. It wasn’t until she stood at the top of the drive to what had been her home that she realized exactly where she was. The driveway was barely discernible in the dark, but her feet found their way as if guided by old memories. The cottage, what she could see of it at least, looked exactly the same. Continuing past the side and towards the porch that faced the sea, the only difference was the lack of furniture on the little verandah. It was December and no one was living there, so there was no need for any table or chairs. No one who would spend hours in the swing seat reading a book or nap on the comfortable lounger.
Her cheeks were wet, but she couldn’t tell if it was from tears or the rain drenching her from top to toe. With the house behind, her she pushed her way through the tall grass on the little sand dunes until she couldn’t take another step. Her favorite spot was just about visible and she gratefully sank to her knees in the wet sand. Sitting back, she drew her knees to her chest and rested her head on her arms. She was wet, cold, and desperate for some kind of guidance. All she got was more rain and a howling wind. It wasn’t until a moving shadow on the beach penetrated her tortured mind that she raised her head and squinted through the rain. She knew her mind had to be playing tricks on her, but she recognized that shadow. The shape of the broad shoulders, the stride of the long, muscular legs and the straight back. She held her breath. She must be dreaming, or she was in even worse shape than she’d realized.
“Carter? Is that you?”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Carter stepped out of the plane, squinting in the strong sunlight. He’d been away so long it felt weird to think he was nearly home. His team had been sent to Laos after their government had asked for help to combat recent large scale poppy growing and newly established drug smuggling routes. It was too big a problem for them to handle and they wanted the expertise and experience of the DEA to deal with it.
On legs as unsteady as a newborn kitten’s, he made his way to the steps from the transport plane that had taken him from the jungles of Laos to the shores of the Atlantic. Or as near as it could get. The sands of Virginia Beach were only a twenty-minute drive away and he couldn’t wait to get there. Nearly blinded by the sun’s rays glinting off another aircraft nearby, he felt his way down the metal staircase. As his feet hit the tarmac, he felt himself wrapped up in a bear hug and a familiar voice almost shouted in his ear.
“Holy fuck, man! I am so glad to see you! Thank fuck you finally got off your ass and dragged yourself out of that hospital bed. Must have been hard to say goodbye to those beautiful nurses, but you finally did it.” A strong pair of hands gripped his shoulders and Carter almost winced at the pain that suddenly radiated through his arms and back.
“Good to see you too, buddy. Have you come to give me shit or to take me home? Please, tell me it’s the latter. After that plane journey, I don’t think my ears can take any more
noise.” Carter fumbled with his sunglasses, his coordination still not quite back to normal, and slid them over his eyes. It was a relief to block out the glare, and he could finally see his friend properly. As he glanced over Nate’s shoulder at the other people gathered there, he was surprised to see his parents and both his brother and sister next to his boss. His mom rushed forward, closely followed by his sister, and both flung their arms around his neck and hugged him tight.
“Don’t ever do that to me again, honey. Especially not so far away. I thought I’d lost you.” His mom whispered in his ear, struggling to get the words past the tears in her throat.
“I’m ok, mom. It wasn’t that bad. I was just laid up for a while. I’m sorry if I worried you, but they should have told you I was ok. Just a little fever, is all.”
“Just a little fever? Is that what you call it?” His mom pulled away slightly and frowned at him. She opened her mouth to say something else but was interrupted by Emma who wanted to give her big brother another hug. Carter wrapped his arms around his sister and gave her a reassuring squeeze before his dad and brother came to join in on the celebration. Carter wondered what his mother had meant by her comment but didn’t have time to think about it as Don Kampeche strode forward and clapped him on the back. Again, pain blazed through his body, but he held the groan and almost managed to stifle the grimace that washed over his face. This whole body aching shit was getting tiresome, and he could only put it down to the long-ass flight back from South East Asia. The aching he’d felt after leaving the hospital must have been due to being laid up in there for a few days, he reasoned. He didn’t do lying down or sitting still for too long. It just wasn’t in his nature and his body was obviously reacting to it. He was surprised to see his family and his boss waiting for him to come home, though. He didn’t think that had happened before, but figured it had to be the combination of all the missions he’d been on lately and the many months he’d been away in total. He really couldn’t be bothered to spend any time thinking about it.
Agent Undone Page 28
