“Have you truly turned your life over to God, or are you just giving Him lip service?”
“Some of the time, I guess. But there is so much injustice in the world.”
“And you do not believe God can fix it. So you see people starve puppies or cut down trees, and you take over the job you think God should be doing. This is not our way. Outsiders disagree with us, but we have always believed that we belong to the kingdom of heaven, not the kingdoms of men. It’s the reason we don’t vote or fight in wars. Puppy mills and new roads are the affairs of men. We concern ourselves with the things of God. We believe in submitting our will to the will of Heavenly Father. Gelassenheit.”
“And let evil men go unpunished?”
Dawdi raised a finger to the sky. “‘Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord.’ God allows people and animals to suffer at the hands of wicked men so that His judgments will be just at the last day. The wicked will have their reward, even as the righteous will. Do not rob anyone of the reward God has in store for them.”
Aden swallowed the lump in his throat. “Dawdi, do you remember when I had that accident at the lake?”
“Your mamm wrote us six pages about it.”
“The car filled with water, and we couldn’t get out.” He ran a hand across his forehead and shivered. He still felt the ice in his bones. “I thought I was going to die. I’ve never told anyone this before, but someone grabbed my hand and pulled me to the surface.”
“An angel?”
“I heard a voice urging me to choose the good part.”
Nothing seemed to surprise Dawdi. “That’s wonderful gute.”
“Not really. I mean, it is wonderful gute that an angel saved my life, but I have been so confused. I feel like God is calling my number, but I can’t answer Him because I don’t have a phone.”
“I’ve never needed a phone to talk to God,” Dawdi said.
“But it would be much easier if I knew exactly what He wants to tell me.”
“If God made it easy, we would not grow from the struggle.”
“I know.”
Dawdi guided the buggy to the side of the road and stopped. He looped the reins around the hook and turned his full attention to Aden. “God pulled you out of that lake. He has a plan for your life.”
“So where do I start?”
“Let the police raid the puppy mills.”
“No more recycling?” Aden asked.
“I believe the good Lord smiles on your recycling program and things like what you did for Cobbler Pond. We must be good stewards of the earth, and those activities don’t force your own will on anyone else. ‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.’”
Trust in the Lord with all your heart.
Dawdi picked up the reins and got the buggy moving again. “And if the good Lord wants a tree saved, you can call your friend Jamal.”
A grin crept onto Aden’s lips. He would always be able to count on Jamal. It was time he learned to feel the same way about God.
A car crept up behind them and passed them cautiously. “Oh, look!” Dawdi exclaimed. “Hawaii. I never thought I’d see the day.”
Chapter Twenty
Aden’s heart felt as heavy as a stone. He passed the spot where the ill-fated mailbox had been and tramped up Lily’s sidewalk.
Of course Lily wouldn’t be coming back to Huckleberry Hill. Her dat would see to that, and like the obedient child she was, she would comply with his wishes. But a hundred hostile fathers couldn’t keep Aden from seeing her and making things right. He knew how she must be suffering from the entire ordeal. He would be able to comfort her and make her feel whole again.
That’s what she did for him every time he laid eyes on her.
Even his best hopes of seeing her last night vanished when Dawdi’s horse threw a shoe half a mile from Huckleberry Hill. They’d arrived home after ten, and Aden knew he would make matters worse by showing up at her house at that hour.
Sleep had been impossible. He’d spent the chilly night haunting the tomato patch with a propane lantern, picking the rest of the tomatoes for Mammi, and planning exactly what he would say to Lily. He had forced himself to wait until eight this morning to hurry to her house. Even after yesterday, she’d be awake by eight, wouldn’t she?
There were so many things he needed to say to her.
How are you? I’m sorry. I would have come last night. I love you. Jamal went back to Ohio. I promise I’ll never raid a puppy mill again. Will you marry me?
Whoa, slow down a minute. His desires galloped far ahead of reality. He’d marry Lily tomorrow if he could, but she probably wasn’t ready for that. She’d been through a lot in the last week, and a girl like Lily needed time to sort out her feelings.
Estee answered the door with a sweater draped around her shoulders. Probably on her way to work. She neglected to smile at him, but she didn’t seem angry. “You shouldn’t be here.”
He identified the look in her eyes. She felt sorry for him.
“I need to see Lily.”
“That won’t do any good for anybody right now. Go home and give them some time to cool down.”
“I’m desperate to see her, Estee.”
She glanced behind her before stepping onto the porch and closing the door after her. “Do you understand what you’ve done? Dat has forbidden us to say your name.”
Aden took off his hat and ran his fingers through his hair. “I know it was terrible for Lily, but if I could talk to her, I know I can make everything right again.”
“No, you can’t. Lily is not to speak to you. Dat won’t yield. Lily says you’ve taken advantage of her trusting heart, and she never wants to see you again.”
Aden felt as if he’d been knocked over by a giant bowling ball. “She . . . she said that?”
Estee huffed out her frustration. “She has an overactive sense of guilt. One word from Dat convinced her that you would drag her to hell yet.” She took him by the elbow and whispered, “I wonders me what happened last night. You look like you’ve been in a brawl.”
“We didn’t do anything bad. Jamal needed some photos of a puppy mill, and he wanted me to distract the people in the house. Lily begged me to take her along. I didn’t want to, but she wouldn’t give in.”
“She insisted?”
“Jah. When we started snooping around the puppy mill, the people got suspicious and somebody called the police. Next thing I knew, they’d handcuffed all three of us.”
Estee glared at him. “You shouldn’t have taken her with you.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” he snapped.
Her expression softened. “Go home. You’ve made a mess of things.”
He felt as if his boots were nailed to the porch. “Please, Estee. Get Lily. I’ll not hesitate to barge into your house if I have to.”
“That would be foolish.”
His voice rose with his agitation. “Desperate people do desperate things. Haven’t you heard about Aden Helmuth? He chains himself to trees. He trespasses on other people’s property. Your dat already hates me. What do I care how much?”
Estee pressed her lips together and studied his face. She must have decided he was dead serious. “Okay, I will see what I can do. But wipe that scowl off your face or you’ll confirm what Dat already believes.”
She stepped back into the house and closed the door behind her.
Aden rubbed the scar on his eyebrow. The situation was worse than he feared. His hands trembled and sweat beaded on his forehead. What should he do now?
How long did they keep him standing out there? Five, ten minutes?
He had nearly decided to shoulder his way into the house uninvited when Lily’s dat appeared at the door, frowning with every line of his face. Lily stood about three feet behind him with her eyes to the floor and her arms wrapped around her waist. She caught her breath and widened her eyes when she looked at his face. He already sported two nasty black eyes.
Dav
id’s scowl almost rendered Aden speechless. “I . . . can I talk to Lily?”
“You should have listened to Estee. Nobody in this house wants to talk to you.”
“If you have any Christian kindness at all, please let me have my say.” It was low to suggest that the Eichers were devoid of Christian love, but he was out-of-his-head crazy to see Lily, and he knew such a declaration would get David’s attention.
David clenched his jaw and tilted his head toward Lily. “You have my permission to speak with him. I’ll see to it that he won’t bother us again.”
Lily took precisely one step out of the house while her dat stayed riveted just inside the door. Her red-rimmed eyes testified that she had been crying. Probably all night.
He wanted to pull her into his embrace so badly he could almost taste it. “Lily, I’m sorry. It must have been horrible for you. I know how terrified you were. The first time I got arrested it felt like the world had come to an end.”
She looked at him with disdain and knocked the wind right out of him. “The first time? I guess it got easier after that.”
“I just . . . I know how you are suffering. I feel so bad about what happened.”
“But not bad enough to let her be,” David said. “Was it a big joke? To drag my daughter to that terrifying place?”
“We couldn’t have guessed that the situation would get out of hand like it did.” Regret stabbed at Aden again and again. What kind of a boy would put the girl he loved in such danger? His remorse was fitting punishment for trying to do God’s job. Aden took Lily’s arms above the elbow and nudged her closer to him. She remained stiff as a board.
“Don’t,” said her dat.
Aden felt his whole world sinking. He dropped his hands. “Lily, please. I love you.”
She stared past him as if he weren’t even there, but a single tear rolled down her cheek.
“And I think you love me.”
“She doesn’t love you.” Her dat hissed like a snake about to strike. “Girls at her age are attracted to wild boys, but they never want them as husbands. Girls want steady, godly men who will provide for their families. You are no good for my daughter. She sees that now.”
Aden bent over and met Lily’s gaze. “Does she?”
Lily seemed to crack, and she began to cry in earnest. “I’m so ashamed.”
Her dat stepped out of the house and enfolded Lily into his arms. Aden bit his tongue to keep from crying out. He wanted to be the one to hold Lily and wipe away her tears. He wanted to caress those soft lips until she gave up running and kissed him back. Instead, he watched numbly as she took comfort from her father.
She regained her composure enough to speak. “If this is how it feels to be with you, Aden, then I don’t want it. I never want to feel like this again. Leave me alone and go corrupt some other girl who doesn’t mind being in jail.”
David took hold of Lily’s hand and turned to face Aden. “I’m going to the bishop later today to recommend your excommunication.”
Aden felt as dry and bleak as the desert. He spread his arms wide in a plea for mercy. “I welcome the shunning. I deserve it.”
Lily stopped crying and gazed at him. Perhaps his humility surprised her. Unable to resist, he stroked his finger once down her cheek. She flinched. “I never in a million years meant for you to be hurt.”
He felt as if he’d been crying for hours as the pain in his chest gripped him violently. He stepped off the porch and turned back to look at Lily. “It probably doesn’t matter to you, but I mean to change things in my life. I will always love you. Never forget.”
Aden marched down the sidewalk without looking back. One more look at Lily’s tortured face and his heart might cease beating.
Chapter Twenty-One
Aden stared at the fiery red huckleberry patch without really seeing it and reminded himself to breathe. The pain felt so fresh that even filling his lungs took effort. He could only wish that the throbbing in his face where Earl had smacked him was the only discomfort he felt. The pain of a broken nose meant nothing compared to a heart ripped in shreds.
He sat on the same log where he and Lily had rested a month ago when they’d encountered the bear.
The day he’d first kissed her.
The best day of his life.
Aden’s heart did a flip-flop as he remembered the way Lily had glared at him when he ran into the woods with those frying pans—as if she cared whether he came back or not.
He leaned his elbows on his knees and contemplated walking back to the house. He’d been out here for more than an hour, but he couldn’t seem to make himself move, even though he needed to head into Bonduel for a load of coal. The nights would be getting mighty chilly right quick, and Dawdi would need to fire up the furnace in the cellar before too long.
Aden felt guilty about leaving Mammi and Dawdi just as winter approached, but he couldn’t stay here. Besides his grandparents, not one soul wanted him in Bonduel.
He ached at the thought of Lily’s rejection. Even though her adamant dismissal had surprised him, he didn’t blame her. He’d deserved it. He really thought she might have loved him, but if her dat spoke the truth, she had merely been fascinated with someone she thought was a “bad” boy.
Well, the look in her eyes this morning made it clear that she was over her fascination, ready to settle down with someone more suitable like Tyler Yoder. They were a better match than she and Aden had ever been. A match made in Amish heaven—well-behaved Lily Eicher and steady Tyler Yoder.
Lily would be happy.
That thought did not bring Aden comfort. He didn’t want Lily to be happy with anybody but him.
The sound of dry leaves rustling reminded him that Pilot needed to be fed. He probably tired of frolicking through the woods and now returned to remind Aden of his duty to feed his dog.
Aden stood and turned to see not Pilot, but Tyler Yoder making his way down the trail. His heart sank to his toes. He didn’t want to see Tyler today. Or ever. Tyler’s presence only served to remind Aden that he would never be good enough for Lily, that Lily deserved someone as good and steady as Tyler and not a hopeless case like Aden Helmuth.
Jah, Tyler was the last person Aden wanted to see.
“Your mammi told me you were out here,” Tyler said. “I hope I’m not bothering you.”
Yes, you are bothering me something awful. Go away and let me wallow in peace.
“Not at all. What do you need?”
Tyler gazed at Aden as he paused to catch his breath. “Your eyes are black and purple. I’ve never seen the like. Did you break your nose?”
“I think so.”
“I am glad Lily wasn’t hurt. I wish she hadn’t gone with you.”
“So do I.”
A deeply solemn frown shaped Tyler’s mouth. “My dat is conferring with the ministers right now. I thought you should know.”
Aden feigned ignorance. “About what?”
Tyler gave Aden that serious look he reserved for serious matters. “You know very well what. David Eicher practically broke down our door this morning.”
Resigned to his fate already, Aden sank back to the log and folded his arms. “Am I going to be excommunicated?”
Aden didn’t welcome it, but Tyler sat next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Jah.”
Aden averted his gaze and stared at the berry patch. “Good. That is the right decision.”
“I disagree.”
Aden stood and put some distance between them. He couldn’t bear this gesture of friendship from the one person who would eventually destroy all his happiness. “You know what happened. Lily’s dat has every cause to be mad.”
“It wasn’t your fault, Aden.”
“It was only my fault. You are one of the few people who know what being frightened like that must have done to Lily. I knew the risks, and I still let her come with me.”
“Did you force her into the car?”
“She had no idea what she was ge
tting into.”
“But Lily wanted to go with you.” Tyler’s frown deepened. “She must have really liked that mailbox.”
Aden recognized Tyler’s expression. He wanted to laugh out loud at the irony. He cracked a pained smile.
“What’s so funny?” Tyler asked.
“You’re worried that Lily likes me?”
Tyler looked away. “Maybe a little.”
Aden didn’t try to mask the bitterness in his voice. Tyler could handle it. “Let me put your mind at ease. Her dat chopped down my mailbox. There isn’t a visible trace of it left. Lily herself ordered me to leave her alone. The way is clear, Tyler. She wouldn’t have me if I were the last Amish boy in Wisconsin.”
“You may think that makes me happy, but it doesn’t. I don’t want to win Lily’s love just because she thinks you’re so wicked in comparison.”
“I am wicked in comparison, and you are the kind of boy she wants.” The words made his eyes sting with regret.
Tyler stood as if he couldn’t contain his emotions. “You’re my friend, Aden. No matter the reason, it grieves me to see you so miserable. And just because David Eicher demands it doesn’t mean you should be excommunicated.”
“I deserve the punishment,” Aden said. “I’ll take whatever the elders want to heap on me as penance for what I’ve done.”
“The bann is not punishment. It is to help the sinner recognize the error of his ways.”
“Gute. Let them give me six weeks or eight weeks or however long it is. I’ll attend gmay faithfully so everyone in the district can glare at me.”
“That’s not how it is.”
“I want the full weight of it, Tyler. Once you’ve all shunned me for an acceptable period of time, I’ll do a kneeling confession and leave Wisconsin. The whole community will be overjoyed to see me go.”
“That’s not true. We believe in your gute heart. That’s why we helped you clean the pond.”
Aden lowered his gaze. “I’m sorry I’ve disappointed everybody. I really am. The last thing I wanted, ever, was for Lily to get hurt.”
“Me too. But the next to last thing I want is for you to believe you don’t belong here, or that you don’t have a home with us.” Tyler peered at Aden, looking for a reaction. “There’s a piece of land for sale not far from the dairy. Forty-five acres. You could buy it and start that organic farm you’ve always wanted, Lord willing.”
Huckleberry Summer (Huckleberry Hill) Page 22
