“Selfish ass,” she whispered, stubbornly blinking against the hot tears pricking her eyes. No, there would be no crying over Leandro. Anger? Yes. Frustration? Hell yes. Worry? You bet. But there would be no crying. Not after the way he’d turned and walked away from her, as though she wasn’t really anyone to him at all. He didn’t deserve her tears.
She pushed away from the door and padded into her kitchen, opening the fridge and retrieving a nearly empty bottle of wine. Her heart throbbed in her chest as she looked down at the label, remembering how Leandro had brought it over a couple of nights ago. They’d lain on a blanket in her little backyard, drinking wine, eating strawberries, looking up at the few stars they could see, and exchanging stories about their childhoods. It had felt so real. So genuine.
“Screw it,” she said, and pulled the stopper out, pouring the remains into a glass and then taking a healthy gulp. Maybe it would help to take the edge off her raw, jagged emotions. “Screw him. Screw everything.” And now she was talking to herself. Great. He was turning her into a crazy lady.
Grabbing her phone from where she’d set it on the counter, she carried it and the glass of wine up to her bedroom. Setting them both down on her dresser, she shimmied out of her dress and laid it on the bed. After she’d pulled on her comfiest pair of pajamas, she let herself glance down at her phone again. Her fingers itched with the need to text him, just to find out if the bastard was alive.
She left the phone on the dresser.
She looked up at herself in the mirror, her eyes immediately drawn to the diamond studs in her ears. An intense surge of anger flared up through her and with trembling fingers, she took them off, not wanting to wear something he’d given her when she was so upset with him. Not wanting to let him adorn her while she hurt because of something he’d done. Cradling the earrings in her palm, she peered down at them. The white gold studs were shaped like delicate leaves, with six little diamonds in each earring. They glinted in the soft light of her bedroom, winking at her brilliantly. They were beautiful, and expensive, and yet she had to wonder if they meant anything at all.
With a sigh, she tucked them away in her jewelry box and then checked her phone again. Nothing. So she put it on silent and plugged it in to charge on her nightstand, turning it facedown. She wouldn’t check it again tonight, she told herself, finishing the rest of her wine. She refused to obsess over if Leandro was going to text her or call her, and she sure as hell wasn’t going to text him. No, he was the one who’d walked away, so if he wanted to talk, he knew where to find her.
She washed her face a little too vigorously, brushed her teeth a little too hard, making her outsides feel as raw as her insides. Shutting off the light, she tried to push away the hurt and the anger swirling through her, but every time she closed her eyes, they seemed to pop open again.
The next morning, Ashlynn felt as though she hadn’t really slept at all. She’d spent the night tossing and turning, sleeping in anxious fits, waking up sweaty and tangled in the sheets. She hadn’t been able to shut her brain off, as everything tugged at her and kept her from falling asleep. Her worry for Leandro, anger at the way he’d callously disregarded her concerns. Her mind kept jumping back to the plane crash, the falling sensation jolting her awake more than once. God, she’d had enough fear to last her a decade in the past week alone.
What did this mean for them? She’d start to think that maybe they should call it off, but then the thought of losing him, losing them, when they’d only just begun would take her breath away and make her entire chest ache. The harder she tried not to think about everything, the louder her thoughts became. With each passing hour, her anger seemed to fade, outweighed by her worry. What if he crashed? What if something happened to him?
She sat up in bed, her neck stiff, her head aching. With a groan, she shoved the covers back, rubbing her eyes as she headed downstairs and into the kitchen. With fumbling, clumsy fingers, she managed to get her Keurig going, and she stared blankly at the wall as she waited. It wasn’t until the first sputter of liquid came out of the machine that she realized she’d forgotten to put a mug underneath.
“Shit!” She grabbed a mug from the cabinet above and managed to get it under the spout before any real damage was done. God, she needed to get a grip. She watched the mug fill, the smell of coffee wafting through the kitchen. Just as she reached for it, her doorbell rang. She frowned as her heart picked up speed in her chest. Smoothing her sleep-rumpled hair down as she walked, she made her way to the front door, her heart vaulting into her throat when she glanced through the peephole and saw Leandro standing there, a big bouquet of colorful tulips in one hand.
Her hands shook a little as she opened the door, and it was almost unfair how sexy he looked. How could she remember she was angry with him when he looked like he’d just stepped out of the pages of a magazine? His hair was slightly tousled, and a layer of stubble clung to his jaw. He wore jeans and a blue-and-white-striped button-down shirt that looked as though it had been made for him, with the way it hugged his broad shoulders and emphasized his athletic physique.
Their eyes met, an uncertain expression on his face, and relief completely overwhelmed her. He was safe and whole, and had come to her when she hadn’t been sure he would. Unable to stop herself, she threw her arms around him, breathing in his scent, savoring the solid warmth of his body against hers. She hadn’t fully realized just how scared she’d been that he’d get hurt until now.
“Oh, good. You’re happy to see me,” he said.
But now that she knew he was fine, her anger returned with a vengeance. Without the worry to keep it at bay, her anger nearly overwhelmed her.
She stepped back out of his arms and grabbed the flowers from his hand. “You. Jerk!” She yelled, smacking the flowers against his chest with each word. “You. Had. Me. Worried. Sick!”
Leandro held his arms up, trying to deflect the blows, petals exploding everywhere and floating down around them in a riot of color. “Hey! Ashlynn. Ashlynn!”
Her anger spent, her shoulders slumped and she dropped her arms, her heart pounding, her face hot. A silence hung between them, and he tentatively reached forward, taking the bouquet from her hand and tossing it down on the ground. “Minha linda, I’m sorry.”
She frowned. After the restless night she’d spent, worried and hurt and angry, she needed more than just an apology. “For?”
He hesitated and then cleared his throat. “For . . . for making you upset.” A smile flickered across his face, as though he was pleased with himself for figuring it out.
She was half-tempted to pick up the bouquet and give him another whack. Instead, she huffed out a breath and shook her head. “Why am I upset, Leandro? Why did you bring me flowers?” An apology was worthless if he didn’t even understand what he was apologizing for.
He hesitated again, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. He looked almost . . . forlorn, with his brows drawn together, his sexy mouth in a slight frown. “Because you don’t like when I race?” He looked so eager and hopeful that he’d found the right answer that she almost took pity on him. Almost.
She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly, because it was hard to concentrate on what she needed to say when she was looking at him. “Because I asked you not to, and you did it anyway. It made me feel like you didn’t care. I spent the entire night worried about you, while you were off doing something dangerous and illegal, even after I asked you not to. How would you feel if you asked me not to do something that upset you, and then I went and did it anyway?”
His expression softened and she could practically see the light bulb going off inside his head. He shook his head, frowning, glancing down at his feet. “I didn’t . . . I didn’t see it that way.” He looked up at her, his eyes wide and bright. He took a step toward her, taking her hands in his. “I’m so sorry, Ashlynn. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. The last thing I want to do is hurt you or make you feel like you don’t matter to me.” He squeezed her hands and
smiled tentatively.
She squeezed back and nodded. “I care about you, Leandro. A lot. That’s why it hurt so much to feel so . . . so disregarded. I spent all night worrying about you, wondering if you were okay, praying you wouldn’t crash. The idea of something happening to you, of losing you . . .” She closed her eyes against the burn and swallowed thickly before continuing. “Feeling like you didn’t care if I was worried or upset really sucked. Big-time.”
His expression tightened, and he nodded. “I’m an idiot.” He seemed to be waiting for her to say something, but she didn’t, and then he laughed softly. “You’re not going to correct me on that, are you?”
She laughed a little too, and then slowly shrugged.
He smiled and let go of one of her hands to reach up and push her hair away from her face, his touch lingering on her cheek. “I’m so sorry I put you through that. I didn’t see it that way at all last night, but I understand now.” He sighed, his fingers moving lower, tracing her collarbone, back and forth, in a mesmerizing rhythm. “All of this—being in a relationship, being with you—it’s new to me. I’m . . . I’m groping my way along.”
“I think you mean fumbling,” she said quietly, biting her lip to keep from laughing.
Humor danced in his eyes, and she felt as though she were settling back into her skin, as though her world was righting itself. “Right. Fumbling my way along. I’m not used to having someone, and because of that, I’m not used to the fact that what I do affects you. I can’t promise I won’t fuck up again, but you have to believe me when I say that I’m sorry and I’m trying.”
She nodded, smiling up at him. “I know. I do.”
He kissed her forehead and pulled her into his arms. “I care about you too, minha linda. I want this. Us.” He pulled back slightly, just enough to gaze down at her. “You’re so smart and beautiful. You are . . .” He paused, an almost odd look on his face. “Special to me. You make me feel lucky just to be near you.”
The last remaining shreds of her anger and hurt dissolved, and she tipped her head up and kissed him. “You make me feel lucky too,” she said, whispering the words against his mouth.
He kissed her again, slower and deeper than before, sending heat curling through her entire body. “Does this mean I’m forgiven?”
She laid a hand on his cheek. “No more illegal racing. Please. It’s so dangerous.”
He took her hand and kissed it, his mouth so warm and soft against her skin. “I promise.” He stilled and then let out a long sigh. “I’ve never had someone worry about me before.”
Ashlynn frowned. “But what about your parents? Your family?”
He shrugged, suddenly looking much younger. “I wouldn’t say that they don’t care, but they certainly don’t worry. They’ve never said anything about the racing. The fights.” He blinked a couple of times. “Not even the plane crash.”
Ashlynn’s heart hurt for him, just a little. What he was describing sounded . . . lonely. Things may not have always been easy for her growing up, but she’d always had her mother and Kayla, no matter what.
She kissed him, soft and sweet. “I care. I worry. And you’re forgiven.” She barely managed to get the last word out before he’d crushed his mouth to hers. He picked her up, her legs going immediately around his waist, and walked them inside. They only made it as far as the living room.
God, she hated being upset with him, but the spectacular make-up sex almost made it worth it.
19
ASHLYNN OPENED HER front door and Leandro let out a low whistle at the sight of her. “Gorgeous, minha linda.” She blushed and looked down at the dress as if she didn’t know she was beautiful. The black lace dress had a deep V that showed off her full breasts, with scalloped trim at the neckline and half sleeves. He’d picked it out because it was sexy and classy and as soon as he’d seen it, he’d fantasized about her in lace.
“Thank you again for the dress. Like I told you on the phone, you didn’t have to do this. It’s too much.” She smiled up at him.
“I know I didn’t. I wanted to. I like to dress you in pretty things.” He’d had the dress sent over by courier from the Dior store earlier in the week.
She turned to show him the back. “Can you help me finish the buttons?”
The lace draped open, revealing her smooth skin, and he couldn’t resist kissing up her spine as he started fastening the buttons. “I like to undress you in pretty things even more.” She shivered as his mouth brushed across the nape of her neck.
She laughed, but it sounded forced, and she turned back around, putting her arms around his shoulders and threading her fingers in his hair. He stroked a hand up and down her back and tipped her head back so he could look into her beautiful eyes. “You okay?”
She nodded. “I’m nervous, I guess. Meeting your parents seems like a big step.”
His vovô had called earlier in the week to tell him that the family was in Los Angeles for a business meeting and would stop by to see him in Las Vegas before heading back to São Paulo.
After the way Ashlynn had gotten so upset with him last weekend, he’d wanted to smooth things over with her. Sometimes the way she looked at him gave him the feeling that she didn’t think he was serious about them, that she kept waiting for him to back off. He knew that his history with women wasn’t exactly reassuring. He’d never introduced a woman to his family before, and it was the only way he could think to show her how much she meant to him. Besides, he wanted his family to meet her too. He was tired of feeling as if his life was in two halves: one with Ashlynn and one without her.
“You’re important to me, Ashlynn. You’re a part of my life. It’s only natural that you meet them.”
She bit her bottom lip, something she always did when she was uncertain. “But you haven’t even met my family yet, and they live here.”
Something he’d noted but didn’t want to pressure her about. She’d introduce him to her family when she was ready. “I’d really like you to meet them, but if you want to wait, we can wait.”
“No, I do want to meet them. It’s just that everything seems to be moving so fast. I’m kinda freaking out here.”
He wanted to rub the little crinkle between her brows away. Instead, he placed a gentle kiss on her lips and then pressed his forehead to hers. “If I’m being honest, I’m a little scared too. I’ve never felt this way. You make my heart beat faster than when I’m racing—which I’m not doing anymore.”
She laughed, and this time it was real.
“You make me want to do anything to see you happy. But it’s good, minha linda. Everything with you is so fucking good that I want to be scared.”
“Okay.” She nodded, and he could almost see her trust him a little bit more. “Then I’m ready.”
“Yeah?”
She laced her fingers with his and led him toward the door. “I have to admit that I’m a little curious about your parents and how they put up with you as a kid.”
He laughed and smacked her ass, leading her to the passenger side of the Bugatti. “Your Batmobile awaits.”
She rolled her eyes, laughing as she slid into the seat.
The drive to the Strip was fast. She asked him about his family, and he knew she was hoping to remember their names so she’d get them right, but she was smiling, and that was all he wanted. He let her off at the curb at the front entrance to the Bellagio and then drove around to drop his car off at the valet so they wouldn’t be seen together. He hated the fucking secrecy and was glad his fight was only two weeks out so they could leave it behind them.
When he walked into the marbled entryway of Le Cirque, the maître d’ recognized him immediately and told him that everyone else had already arrived. “I’m waiting for my guest,” Leandro said and wiped his palms on his pants as he stepped to the doorway to look for Ashlynn. He hadn’t realized how nervous he was to introduce her to his family until just now. It wasn’t that he was worried Ashlynn wouldn’t please them because of anything with
in her control. Ashlynn was amazing. It was because he knew that his mother wouldn’t miss the opportunity to pick her apart. She wouldn’t live up to his mother’s expectations because she didn’t have money and status, two things his mother required of all the people in her life, and by extension, her family’s lives. And, since he was being honest with himself, he was concerned with what his vovô would say. Vovô controlled the family in a way his mother never could. If he didn’t like Ashlynn, then the entire family might not accept her. It wouldn’t change things for Leandro, but he wasn’t sure how Ashlynn would react to that.
Leandro really wanted them to accept her, because he was pretty sure that he was falling in love with her. Everything about this was different from anything he’d experienced before. Deeper and satisfying in a whole new way. He’d even started to imagine her with him when he thought of the future.
“Hi.” Her sweet voice broke into his thoughts. She smiled up at him, the dings and bells of the casino floor at her back. “Now you look worried.”
“Worried that you’d run off.” He teased.
“I might’ve thought about it,” she said, taking his hand as he led her farther into the restaurant, away from the casino and anyone who might know them. “But I’m not one to pass up a free meal at an expensive French restaurant.”
“Who said it was free?” He laughed as he drew her closer, loving the way they were together. Maybe even loving her a little bit. “You pay me back later tonight.”
She raised a brow. “Then this place had better live up to the hype.”
He laughed and kissed her. “Come on. Everyone’s inside.”
His heart pounded as they followed the maître d’ to a private room on the edge of the dining room. Maroon fabric draped the walls, and candles twinkled on the large round table, lending the already cozy room an intimate feel. Two windows looked out onto the fountains and the faux Eiffel Tower in the distance. The beautiful view was almost enough to distract from the five pairs of eyes that turned on them as soon as they approached. Instinctively, he put his arm around Ashlynn’s waist.
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