by J. L. Chan
"I wish you knew what you were saying,"
"I know what I'm saying, and doing, 'subconscience'. Or should I even call you that?"
With those words coming from my mouth like a spouting broken sprinkler, it was enough to make him scream in rage.
"Michael! You don't know anything! You're too naïve!"
"I know you can't understand what's going on!"
"I know you don't even know about that hummingbird!"
"I know you wish to exit this place!"
"And! I know that you don't believe in spirits!"
"Let me be straight with you: I AM YOU!!"
Oh, my God! He knew about me. I stayed silent, completely flabbergasted by his exceptional knowledge of me. The trees were swaying violently in the wind. I was left drowned in my thoughts thinking about what led me to this dreadful site.
.....
OPEN YOUR HEART, FEAST YOUR EYES.
Huh?... This phrase again? This repeating line I'd been hearing ever since I got here.
Yes, Michael. Open your heart, and feast your eyes.
A voice called out to my name, repeating the phrase, but in a familiar voice. Bianca! Is that you? Can you come out?
Michael. You know you understand this whole concept. I trust you do. Just... believe in yourself.
Bianca, I... I don't understand. I just... don't.
Just believe in yourself....
Believe in myself? What am I now? Peter Pan? No... I shouldn't think like that. Are you still there, Bianca? Hello?
There was nothing but silence. She had gone. She may had been just a voice, but she had told me a lot.
Let me reiterate: when I met that hummingbird, it had been acting like an escort for me. Like my guardian, or something. I was then on a boat with the oarsman, but my journey was cut short when our boat was flushed into the ocean. It was there I found myself in an "other-world". I remembered I bathed in the rays of a beam, and felt something.
Maybe that something was an allusion to the first part of the phrase, "Open your heart". If that was true, I "opened my heart", allowing the giant white door to be opened. What if that door symbolized the passion in one's life? Hmm... I was starting to get it.
Then, how about the second part of the phrase? "Feast your eyes". Ever since I finished that leg of my story, I was able to see through lies and deceits. And... I was able to see a hidden tunnel in the cramped room. It could have mean being able to see the truth.
If I put them together... "Open your heart, feast your eyes" could mean "unlock the passion within your heart and see a bright light in the horizon of your future with your eyes". Bingo! That was it; I got it now!
"Pondered in your thoughts enough yet, Michael? Sorry to burst your fun time."
The impostor was awaiting an answer. I had to act, now.
"You know you can't survive in there. It's because you don't believe,"
"That's not true! I believe!"
His face turned from rage to aghast. Looking around, nothing happened.
"Hmhmhmhm hahahaha!"
"Stop making a fool of yourself,"
"I believe in myself! I've learned up a lot to this point,"
"You're not going to deceive me with your trickeries! I believe!
"I believe!!"
My heart started glowing, and so did my eyes. In fact, my whole body started emitting a blinding white light. My "subconscience" shielded his eyes. With those two words, everything then stopped. The trees stopped swaying, the wind stopped blowing. Everything stopped in motion, like the clocked dared not to tick.
"..."
He was petrified. He could do nothing but watch what I had just done.
*Caw! Caw!*
My eyes picked up a sound of a raven. It was perching on a branch. Simultaneously, several translucent figures began appearing from the darkness of the forest.
I knew what must be done. I turned around and approached the cave without any delay.
"Goodbye," I said to him.
I walked into the cave. Looking around one last time, I saw my "subconscience" slowly fading away. I was going to face my toughest challenge now. There was no turning back. It was now or never.
CHAPTER EIGHT – TRIAL OF REGRETS
Slowly I crept into the cave's mouth. It looked as if it was swallowing me whole. Okay... deep breath; baby steps first...
Inside, the cave was really dark and quiet. My vision was limited, so it was hard to see where I was going. I was blindly moving forward, unknowing of whatever that lied ahead.
My eyes caught a glimpse of light just a few feet away. I approached it and found it was the hummingbird. Its glowing feathers illuminated the dark cave. Oh, how I made him wait for so long.
"Well, I'll be gobsmacked; look at what the cat dragged in!"
A voice that sounded like a gentleman's echoed the walls of the cave. I was intrigued on where it came from. I looked above, behind, and below me, while the hummingbird tilted its head, seemingly confused.
"Was something disturbing you?"
Again, the voice echoed around me. I scratched my hair, leaving on a train to Thoughtsville. I knew it was coming from around me, but where was it coming from?
"Good heavens, what in the Land of Spirits are you doing?"
The polite British-accented voice echoed once again. This time, I deduced it to be coming from the hummingbird. Wait a second... hummingbirds don't talk, let alone animals. I wanted to speak with the hummingbird to confirm it was coming from it.
"Is that you, Hummingbird?" I asked in inquisition.
"Indee―hold your horses! You can hear me?"
"Yes...?"
"By grace! You must have had finally opened your heart!"
"If you put in that way, maybe,"
"I'd understand better if you could explain,"
"Oh, why yes; of course I can. But, we're supposed to start your trial, not to dilly-dally,"
"Let us make haste. I will explain it to you on the way."
The hummingbird perched onto my shoulder. We then moved onwards, with the light from its feathers brightening the cave.
"Now that everything is hunky-dory, allow me to tell you what I meant,"
"As you may know by now, I am your Spirit Animal,"
"In case you are wondering what that is, a spirit animal is the embodiment of one's desires and true intentions."
Ah, so it really was my spirit animal all along. Spirits may not have been what I thought after all.
"If you are my spirit animal, you represent my guide, isn't that right?"
"Indeed. You can consider me to be your knight in shining armor, save for the fact that you're male,"
"Anyway, us spirit animals become humanoid when our 'somebody', you can be an example, is not in the Land of Spirits,"
"If that is so, you would assume an animal form when its 'somebody' arrives?"
"Right on target! We don't just take up any animal we wish to. Our forms derive from their desires."
Wow, I'm astounded, like I was just smacked in the head by a baseball bat. Say... what if Bianca was a spirit animal? I'll keep this in mind and I will pop the question when I see her.
I suddenly realized: what if the hummingbird knew anything about that "other me"? I asked him.
"Hummingbird, I saw a dark shadowy apparition that resembled me. Any idea what it was?"
"..."
It grew silent. The hummingbird was shocked and petrified when I asked him that particular question.
"You met yourself?"
"Did it... manipulate you in any way?"
"Yes... and it told me that it was my subconscience,"
"What a load of rubbish. That 'thing' you met was your negativity!"
"I'm pretty sure it tried to lead you astray with its deceits and lies,"
"I realized that, though not in an instant. It disappeared shortly after I radiated white light and began to see translucent spirits,"
"Yes.. it all leads up. You awakened the real inner you,
and with that, you foiled its schemes, and you were able to see the lesser spirits,"
"And my voice."
"Can you elaborate more on this 'inner me'?
"Those who have yet to awaken themselves are only able to connect with those true to their hearts. They won't be able to speak with their own spirits either,"
I see... I perfectly understand this otherworldly concept now. So.. the hummingbird was my spirit, but he would take the form of my spirit animal whenever I came here. And that faux subconscience, he was my negativity. Glad I was mostly positivity. Okay... that was bad joke.
"We're here. It is time to test yourself and prove to be worthy."
A gargantuan door stands in front of me. Behind the door begins my true journey. I will not step back. What if I fail? Will I be gone? My second thoughts spoke as a third party.
"Step in whenever you're truly ready. I will meet you at the end."
With those words, the hummingbird flew away while the door opened. I hesitantly stepped in, knowing what would happen to me if I failed.
A light blurred my vision. When I came to, I found myself lying on a flowery mound. The sky was blue, the clouds were fluffy, the trees were dancing, the birds were singing, and the air felt incredibly calm. It was peachy, yes. I stood up to get a better view of where I was at. I saw a village. I ran there, hoping to meet someone new.
At the village, a couple of housemaids were doing the laundry. I approached one and started a conversation.
"Greetings,"
"Greetings. What brings a young man like you here?"
"Oh, nothing, just dropping by. Say, what is your name, miss?"
"Sarah. Yours?"
"Michael, Miss Sarah,"
"What a cute name!"
"Oh jeez. Miss, I'm new around here. Could you tell me what this village is like?"
"You sure look like one. Anyway, the village is quite p―"
*Groom* *Groommmm*
The skies suddenly turned dark, like a storm was about to shake the village.
"Oh my, I have to get these clothes inside. It was a pleasure meeting you,"
And with that, she grabbed her clothes basket and ran inside.
Within seconds, rain started pouring down onto the village like a tipping jug full of water. Lightning galore struck the premises. I was soaking wet. Suddenly, one of the lightning struck the village house Miss Sarah was in. It immediately went on fire. The fire spreaded around the straw roof and engulfed the house in flames in mere seconds.
I could do nothing but watch in agony, as the screams of villagers trapped inside screeched inside my ears. I was terribly afraid of fire, and even more so of people in pain.
A lightning then struck a nearby tree, causing it to timber near me, blocking the path behind me. With nowhere else to go, I was forced to run straight ahead.
Dashing like a bullet, I observed as my surroundings turn from a peaceful plain to a chaotic county. I reached the edge of a cliff. Looking down, it was a gorge with a one-way ticket to the afterlife. There was a bridge close by. Without further thinking, I approached it.
The bridge was suspended by two ropes tied to spokes on each end and looked very unstable. I had to walk carefully across, without looking down.
A lightning suddenly struck the rope on the left side of the bridge. It snapped it, causing the bridge to start breaking in two. I was only halfway across. I had no time to think. I attempted to reach the end as fast as my legs would carry me.
"Almost there...!"
I reassured myself. The bridge suddenly split in two. I was about to reach the other side. I tried to grab one of the wooden planks of the bridge to save myself. It was like a slow-motion scene.
I kept saying to myself. I can! I can! I can! I can! I can't!! My fingers could not grasp the wooden plank, and I started falling into the gorge. Have I failed? Was this the end? This couldn't be... No... this was not how it was supposed to be... It looks like my journey... has come to a conclusion...
CHAPTER NINE – OPEN YOUR HEART, FEAST YOUR EYES
Moments of bliss flashed through my eyes like a million of paparazzi flashing their cameras at me. This was the only time I felt truly hopeless, just tirelessly awaiting a dark end.
Every second lasted like a whole year. The whole fall was equivalent to five long years. Just when I was about to reach the ground, my mind went blank.
*Drip*
The sound of a water droplet echoed into my eardrums. I awakened in a black void. Am Idead? I thought to myself. Has it finally all come to an end? My clothes were tattered and charred badly.
*Drip* *Drip*
More water droplets created ripples on the ground, yet no water was seen, only an empty space of nothingness.
"Your fears are your worst enemies."
A voice! Not just any voice; it wa Bianca's once again. Hey, Bianca! Can you hear me?
"Your fears are your worst enemies."
Bianca repeated the line. It seemed that she couldn't hear me, undoubtedly.
"Your fears are your worst enemies. Open your heart, feast your eyes."
Bianca was trying to tell me something. What did she mean? Was she trying to help me or trying to make things more sophisticated as if it not already was?
Before I got to take my time to thoroughly think, my vision faded into white.
When I regained my consciousness, I found myself lying on a tuft of grass on a hill. I stood up and saw a village nearby. Intrigued, I went closer. As I approached it closer and closer, I realized something was amiss. Wasn't that the same village that was obliterated in the fire? I shrugged it off my mind, but I still went to Miss Sarah's house.
To my bewilderment, there she was! Doing her laundry along with a couple of other housemaids. I had a weird déjà vu feeling. I wanted to pinch myself just to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Ouch! Okay, that did not work.
I walked towards her.
"Miss Sarah, I'd like to speak with you,"
"Sure, dear―but, how do you know my name?"
Apparently, she doesn't know me. It was like time has just reversed itself from its apocalyptic climax. If time really did reverse, I better warn her about her impending doom.
"My name is Michael. I may have just met you, but there is something really important I need to tell you,"
"Hello, Michael. Go on, I'm listening,"
"There's going to be a fire which is going to kill you and your family, and destroy this village,"
"Are you sure? Everything is fine and dandy here. Are you sick?"
She didn't believe me. That was not good. I'll try my best to warn her, even if it was like drawing a dead man's hand.
"You got to believe me! Your whole life is in danger!"
"Look, Michael. I really think you need to see a doctor. There's one by the corner."
There was no way she was buying it. Just then, I witnessed the clouds stirring up in the sky. This was it. I needed to prevent her from entering the house.
"Oh, twiddlesticks, I need to get inside now. These clothes are not going to dry under the rain."
"No, don't! Don't enter the house! You're going to die!"
"I love how you kids tell fantasies, but I'm not one bit swayed."
With that, she took her laundry basket and ran inside. I failed to stop her, but I could still save her.
Just then, the rain started falling. There was little to no time left for me to act. I have to take action now!
*Bang!*
A flash of lightning zapped the roof of the house and set it on fire. The fire quickly spreaded across the straw roof and wooden house. I heard her screaming from the inside. I was out of luck. I was terribly afraid of fire.
"Your fears are your worst enemies. Open your heart and feast your eyes."
Bianca's voice called out to me in my head. My fears are my worst enemies, hm? I got it. I won't let my fears dictate my every moments and actions!
I immediately ran for the blazing door. I shielded my face and closed my ey
es, bracing for impact, and hoped for the worst. When I opened my eyes, I was inside the house, and thankfully, I was unscathed. The door, however, didn't meet the same fate... hehehe...
I went to the kitchen and found Miss Sarah and her two daughters hurled up in the corner.
"Michael?! What are you doing here?" seemingly shocked.
"No time to chit-chat. Come with me, take your children too!"
Without uttering a single phrase, she grabbed her children followed me. I led them to the exit, except now it was on fire. I had to think quickly. I observed the room for a way out. Aha! The window!
"Okay, I want you to dive out the window on the count of three. Trust me!"
Miss Sarah silenty nodded in agreement.
"Alright, now... one... two.... three!"
All of us dived out the window. We escaped unharmed, save for a few burn marks.
"Thanks, Michael. I apologized for not believing you earlier. We are grateful to you,"
"No worries. I couldn't bare to see you perish, could I?"
The fire around the village died down. Extinguished, as if I completed a feat. That reminded me.... I need to complete my trial. I had to get to the bridge.
"I need to go, Miss Sarah. I wish you and your family peace and prosperity."
