“Even though I know who ye are, ye understand that I can’t send ye back? For the sake of my clan, I cannot allow a ransom to go unanswered. I would never be taken seriously again. Besides, Bhaltair would wonder what caused the sudden change. If ye don’t want to risk him finding out what Finn did, I can’t let ye go.”
“Aye, I understand.”
“But Fiona, even if I could, I don’t want to send ye back. Now it is abundantly evident that yer uncle doesn’t care what happens to ye. I don’t want to risk ye being harmed further at his hands.”
Watching her eyes fill with tears again was nearly his undoing. She sniffed and swallowed hard. “I’m afraid ye’re right, but with Alec…missing, I have no one else.”
No one else. She had him. He wanted to tell her that, to swear to protect her forever, but somehow, after all he had done, it sounded hollow even to him. She has Bram Sutherland, a wicked voice inside him goaded. He had to find out. “Tell me about the betrothal. Do ye like Bram Sutherland? Do ye want to marry him?”
“I don’t really know him. I have met him in the past, but only briefly. He is handsome, but that’s not much to know about a person. Uncle Bhaltair was sending me there to live for a while so we could become better acquainted.”
“I don’t know him well either. The Sutherland holding borders ours on the east. Laird Sutherland and I are not feuding, but neither are we close allies. Yer uncle suggested that I send a message to him and address the issue of a ransom.”
“They aren’t likely to pay are they? I wasn’t under their protection when all of this happened.”
“I don’t know, Fiona. Let’s wait and see.”
She nodded.
“Until then, I don’t want to cause ye more pain by keeping ye locked up as a prisoner. I promise I will see that no harm comes to ye. If I give ye free run of Naomh-dùn, will ye promise not to try to escape?”
“If I am not yer prisoner, what am I?”
“My guest.”
She arched an eyebrow. “Guests don’t promise not to leave.”
“I suppose they don’t. But ye must realize, given what yer uncle has done and with yer brother missing, ye’re safer here under my protection than anywhere else.”
“I’m not sure that’s completely true, but as I have nowhere else to go anyway, ye have my promise.”
He rose to leave. “Rest here for a while. I will have a room prepared for ye on one of the lower floors and send a maid for ye when it is ready.” She nodded again. What he did next shocked him more than the jealousy he felt at seeing her in Tasgall’s arms or imagining her married to Bram Sutherland. He kissed her forehead. “Ye’ll be all right, Fiona. I swear I’ll keep ye from harm.”
~ * ~
Later he tried to convince himself that the kiss meant nothing. He was only showing her brotherly concern. After all, he owed her that; she had no family to care for her. Still, this didn’t quite explain why he hesitated to send a ransom demand to Sutherland.
As promised, he had her installed in the chamber next to Anna’s. It was on the same corridor where all the family members’ private chambers were located—directly across from his rooms. He also made it clear to his clan that she was to be treated as an honored guest. While initially that order might have been necessary, because mistrust and hatred for the MacNicols ran deep, soon his people practically tripped over themselves to see that Fiona MacNicol was comfortable. As it turned out, although he tried to keep it secret to protect her from her uncle in the future, word that she had played some role in his escape spread rapidly. Anna, who had been her champion from the start, practically attached herself to Fiona’s side, ensuring that her every need was met.
Eoin tried to keep his distance, but it was in vain. He felt inextricably drawn to her. As hard as he tried to ignore her, if she was anywhere in his vicinity, his eyes followed her. She was truly beautiful. Now that she was eating well again, the roses were back in her cheeks. Her black curls contrasted with her smooth, fair skin, and while he could always sense an air of sadness around her, her eyes had lost their haunted look. He found himself wishing he could banish that sadness. Perhaps there was a way.
Ten
After her status changed from prisoner to guest, Fiona began to feel a bit more comfortable with the MacKays. She had trouble imagining that one Highland keep could be so very different from another, but it didn’t take long to realize that Naomh-dùn was not remotely like her home. Castle MacNicol was well-run and orderly. Uncle Bhaltair would tolerate no less. While Naomh-dùn seemed to be well run, it was also a cacophony of disorder. It was filled with noise, laughter, arguments, and general chatter. It felt like a home and, even if it wasn’t her home, Fiona was growing to love it.
Likewise, Eoin MacKay was not remotely like her uncle. His people didn’t tread carefully around him for fear of sparking his temper. He had only been their laird for a few months, but had apparently already earned their respect. Maybe that was because he seemed to respect them. She admired him and was even becoming fond of him. She found him extremely handsome. She remembered his dark hair and dark eyes from long ago, but he had filled out into an impressive man, strong and broad shouldered. Occasionally she would catch a glimpse of him training with his men, and she found him nothing short of spectacular.
Perhaps the thing she admired most was his openness, which was so unlike her uncle. Eoin was very much a decisive leader and when he gave orders, they were followed. However, when appropriate, he also listened to opinions and gave them consideration. He was generally kind, considerate and patient with his people. Well, he was patient with nearly everyone except his sister, Anna.
Fiona adored the irrepressible Anna; she had also never met anyone quite like her. Fiona’s young cousin Kara reminded her of a sweet docile puppy. If possible, Stephen was even more subdued. Kind, gentle and studious, at fifteen he should have been well into his training as a warrior, but he hated the thought of it. Aunt Sorcha, who had always been very protective of her children, admired his studious nature and refused to let Uncle Bhaltair send Stephen away. Her cousins never uttered a cross word or disobeyed their parents. Fiona too had learned to at least feign obedience to avoid her uncle’s temper.
Anna MacKay, on the other hand, was more than willing to frustrate and anger her brother, much as she had the day Fiona arrived. She would go toe to toe with him over the slightest thing—right down to who sat where at meals. Often he gave in to her out of frustration, but one afternoon he refused. She had announced at the midday meal that she intended to go riding with Fiona that afternoon.
“I’m sorry, Anna, not today.”
“I will go riding if I wish, Eoin.”
“Ye will not. Not with Fiona, and not today.”
“Da always let me ride when I wished.”
“Aye he did, with an escort, but I cannot spare the men today.”
“Ye can too spare someone. Maybe Tasgall or Aiden.”
“A single guard is not a sufficient escort.”
“It has always been enough before. We won’t go far.”
“It isn’t enough today, Anna.” Eoin glanced at Fiona. She suspected he wanted more men riding escort because Anna intended to take her.
Anna was clearly not prepared to let this drop. “Why?”
Eoin clenched his jaw. “I don’t intend to discuss it further. I said nay.”
Fiona tried to intercede. “Anna, we don’t need to go today.”
“Ye visit the stables every day to take a treat to yer mare. I know ye want to go for a ride.”
“Still, it needn’t be today.”
“But I want to go riding. It has been ages, Eoin, and ye’re being mean on purpose. We’re going, and ye can just find someone to go with us.”
“I have had enough of this. The only place ye’re going is to yer room.”
“But—”
“Yer room, Anna. Now.”
“Ye aren’t my da, ye have no right—”
“I’m yer laird a
nd I have every right. Go. Now!”
Anna burst into tears and ran from the hall. Fiona started to follow, but Eoin shook his head. “Nay, Fiona. Leave her for a bit.”
Aiden scowled. “Ye let her get away with too much. I don’t care what she says; Da wouldn’t have tolerated that behavior.”
Tasgall jumped to Anna’s defense. “Da has only been gone a few months. She took his death very hard. Give her some time. Ye can’t expect her to adjust overnight. Surely there is someone who could escort them for a wee ride.”
“That isn’t the point, Tasgall. Eoin said nay, and Anna needs to learn to abide by that.”
“But maybe he shouldn’t have said nay. A ride is a little enough thing to ask.”
Fiona listened to the argument and remembered all too well a similar time in her life. She understood, and her heart went out to Anna.
Eoin looked at her, his expression filled with concern. “Fiona, ye’re upset. I’m sorry. I will take ye both for a ride tomorrow. I just can’t this afternoon.”
“It isn’t necessary. I’m not upset by not being able to ride today. I was just remembering how I felt when my parents died.”
“Ye see, ye need to be more patient,” said Tasgall.
“Nay, that isn’t it. I remember hurting so much and feeling so very alone.”
“Ye became Finn,” said Eoin quietly.
“Aye, I became Finn. I dressed as a boy and climbed trees. I argued and pushed everyone away as hard as I could. If someone told me not to do something, then that was the thing I had to do. I think I wanted someone to stop me. To tell me nay. To show me they loved me.”
“Ye think she doesn’t feel loved?” asked Tasgall incredulously.
“Not exactly, but I think a loving parent makes us feel safe by setting limits. When we push too hard, they pull us back and we know they love us enough to protect us from ourselves. She knows ye love her enough to give her certain freedoms, but maybe not enough to stop her from going too far. I think she feels like a ship that has lost its mooring. She said it herself, Eoin; ye aren’t her da, but I think she needs that solid presence. Would yer da have tolerated that behavior?”
“Nay, he wouldn’t have. Aiden has been telling me I needed to be more firm with her for weeks.”
“Only because she was annoying me, no end, but what Fiona says makes sense. I remember when our mother died. I was barely eight. Everyone was distraught. Da was heartbroken, but Grizel was there. She was just her bossy old self. I remember getting mad at her over something and screaming ‘Ye aren’t my mama.’ ‘Nay,’ she said, ‘but I couldn’t love ye more if I were. And what’s more, I loved yer mama too, and I won’t let her wee lad behave like a heathen.’”
Eoin and Tasgall laughed and Aiden smiled. “I miss Grizel nearly as much as I miss Mama and Da.”
Eoin nodded. “I do too. Well, wise Fiona, what do ye think I should do now?”
“Explain to her what ye didn’t want to say in front of me.”
Eoin arched an eyebrow. “I don’t know what ye’re talking about.”
“Aye ye do. Even though ye treat me as a guest, we all know I am not really a guest. Therefore it wouldn’t be prudent to allow me to ride out of Naomh-dùn with yer sister unless we had a substantial escort. Ye were keeping her safe and ensuring I didn’t escape.”
“Fiona, I—”
“It’s all right, Eoin. I would never do anything to hurt Anna, but ye’re right to protect her. I think it may help her to know that ye act out of love and concern for her and not just because ye’re ‘being mean on purpose’.”
“She could try the patience of Job, but I do love her.”
“Did yer aunt and uncle finally figure this out?” asked Aiden.
“I suppose they did. I don’t dress like a lad anymore.” The men chuckled. “Still, I think my uncle must have controlled me for the sake of having control and not because he loved me particularly. I guess that’s abundantly clear now.” She looked at them, but couldn’t bear the pity she saw in their eyes. “Excuse me please.” She rose and left the hall as quickly and with as much grace as she could muster, hurrying up the stairs. As she passed Anna’s chamber, she heard muffled sobs through the door. Fiona wanted to comfort her; however, she knew Anna needed Eoin and she could already hear his footfalls on the stairs. She wouldn’t interfere. She slipped quietly into her own chamber and shut the door.
She envied Anna—all of the MacKays really. It was clear they loved each other. She had no one, and the realization of that caused her heart to ache. Her own brother was missing, in all likelihood dead, and her uncle had left her to the tender mercies of his greatest enemy. Until Bhaltair refused to pay the ransom, she had believed her aunt and uncle loved her. Maybe they didn’t feel the same about her as they did their own children, but she never imagined they would abandon her. It seemed the Sutherlands didn’t care much for her either, because there had apparently been no word from them about paying the ransom.
Sometime later, she was still lost in thought and self-pity when she heard a soft knock at her door and Anna poked her head in.
“I’m sorry, Fiona. Can I come in?”
“Of course ye can, pet, and ye have nothing to be sorry about.”
“Aye, I do. I should have understood that Eoin was just trying to keep us safe.”
“Ye’re very lucky to have him and yer other brothers.”
“I know, but they’re men and they’re so stupid sometimes.” She rolled her eyes and Fiona laughed. “Still, I wouldn’t have Eoin if it weren’t for ye, and having Aiden in charge would be much worse. Ye were very brave, Fiona.”
“Ye would have done the same in my position. Ye were ready to do battle with Eoin on my behalf the day I arrived.”
Anna laughed. “Aye, but he was wrong that day.”
“And if he is like the rest of us, he will be wrong again.” Fiona grinned. “At least once or twice. But he does love ye.”
“I know he does, and he would never let anything happen to me. We fight a lot, but he would do whatever was necessary to help me if I needed it.”
Fiona smiled sadly, once again realizing how very alone she was. Seeking to change the subject she asked, “Do ye want to hear something funny?”
Anna nodded eagerly.
“I was eleven when my uncle captured yer brother. Ye know the story. What my uncle intended was wrong, so I did what I had to do to prevent it. Yer brother was a sorry sight then. Certainly not a typical maiden’s idea of a hero, but somehow over the years, he became that for me.”
“Eoin?” Anna was incredulous.
Fiona chuckled. “Aye, Eoin. Anytime I was sad or lonely, or when my uncle locked me up as punishment, I imagined Eoin coming to my rescue. I had to imagine what he looked like, ye know, not being feverish, bruised and at death’s door.”
Anna laughed.
“Still for some reason, he was always my rescuer. I think maybe it was because my uncle hated him so very much, I thought it somehow appropriate. I imagined him scaling castle walls, beating down locked doors and battling with my uncle to free me. I imagined how frustrated and angry my uncle would have been, not only because I escaped, but because it was Eoin MacKay who rescued me.”
Anna sobered. “And he hasn’t rescued ye. He has imprisoned ye.”
“Anna, I didn’t mean to make ye sad and I’m not exactly imprisoned anymore. I just thought ye might find it funny that the brother ye argue and fight with was someone else’s idea of a hero.”
“And yer brother never saved ye?”
Fiona laughed. “Alec has been in training for most of the last eight years. But, Anna, I didn’t really need saving. I wasn’t a particularly biddable or well-mannered young lady. I was never punished without cause. It’s just…” how could she explain wanting to feel loved and accepted to this lass, who had never known anything but love and acceptance?
“What?”
“Nothing. I just hated being locked up whether I deserved it or not.”
>
“Well then, let’s get out of here.”
“Anna, yer brother said we couldn’t ride today.”
“But we can take a walk to the top of the bluff overlooking Loch Islich. It is close, within sight of the keep and village. I don’t need an escort to go there.” She laughed at Fiona’s skeptical expression. “Ye worry too much, Fiona. Besides, Eoin said it was all right and he can spare a guardsman to go with us as long as we don’t stay too long.”
They had a lovely walk through the village and up onto the bluff. From the top they could see the whole loch, which was quite long but not very wide. They were about at its midpoint.
Anna pointed to the northern end. “Up there at the northern tip there is a narrow straight that connects Loch Islich to Loch Uarach. We aren’t allowed to go that direction.”
“Why not?”
“The MacLeods live up there.”
“I know. The land on the other side of Loch Islich, from about here down is MacNicol territory. The MacLeods land neighbors ours.”
“Well, we’re feuding with them. They think all the land on both sides of Loch Uarach is theirs. But our land extends partially up the east bank. Apparently there was some verbal agreement years ago in which the MacLeod laird granted some of the land to a MacKay laird. They say the MacKay laird lied about that, and we say they are just trying to steal land that was given to us fairly. Da always called them ‘thieving MacLeods’ and they call us ‘lying MacKays.’”
Fiona shook her head. “Something happened years ago between the MacNicols and the MacKays, but I never knew what it was. Still, Uncle Bhaltair has managed to keep the hatred alive.”
“Ye see what I mean about men being stupid? It’s just a small bit of land in dispute with the MacLeods, and no one remembers what the problem with the MacNicols was. If women were in charge, it would be different.”
Niven, the guardsman who walked with them, snorted. “Anna MacKay, ye’re daft.”
“I am not. I can promise ye this, if I’m ever angry with someone over something, they aren’t likely to forget what it is.”
Highland Revenge (Fated Hearts Book 1) Page 6
