Ized- the Ancestors

by Esther Barvar

  »I felt excited, I admit it, but I didn’t want what happened. You didn’t stop. Should I pay you like a whore, Mehit? Maybe you would understand, that I don’t love you, if I do so,« he threw out between his teeth. As he spoke, he reached next to her with his hand and opened the door. »So get out of my sight before something worse happens. This one is my living room. You have no business here,« he hissed at her. »Get out now!«

  His face was very close to her. The warm breath streaked her. Mehit noticed how sudden his anger was, how little he could still control himself. He blocked her way into the room with his body. The only way to move was the way out. All of a sudden, she felt fear and slid along the wall that separated her from the door. Then she scurried outside. Adar closes the door with a loud bang.

  Mehit was pale in fear, and her legs trembled. Tears shot into her eyes, and she ran away, down the stairs, out of the building. She did not notice Lord Befen coming towards her.

  Befen paused and looked after her, then went to Adar’s door. He knocked. The young man opened the door in person just moments later.

  »Go away!« he snarled angrily and only then realized that it wasn’t Mehit standing in front of him. He flinched back in amazement. »Befen, what … what are you doing here?« he reluctantly approached his friend.

  »So it wasn’t the guard that almost hurried you out of the party after all,« he aptly stated and took a step towards him.

  Adar reluctantly let him enter. He took some embarrassed steps through the room, more to calm himself down a little. »No, it wasn’t the guard,« he admitted, still angry.

  Befen noticed the clenched fists and the subliminal rage as well as the tense body ready for battle. »What did Mehit do to make you that angry?« Befen asked. He crossed his arms in front of his chest. Since he was the High Lord of Warriors, and Adar thus subordinates him, he expected an explanation from him.

  Adar gave him a restless look. He noticed the lurking posture of the superior. Embarrassed, he cleared his throat. Then he explained his behavior to the High Lord: »You are right. It was not the guard who caused me to leave the feast. But it was not Mehit either. She met me in the courtyard when I wanted to go back to the tavern. I was drunk, but when she stumbled, I could catch her. We staggered back until a wall stopped us. But then … I don’t know how it could happen. We stood in the dark corner and … by the Waves, her body, her scent, and her heat. All that made something bubble up in me. It awakened an unrestrained desire in me. It’s no excuse, but I was too drunk, and before I could even get a clear thought, I was so excited that I … by the Waves … I didn’t have myself under control!« The last sentence was like an outcry. Adar blushed, drove himself embarrassed with the hand by the face, and turned away. He was ashamed because he had not controlled himself.

  Befen, looked at the friend and shook his head. He could not understand Adar’s behavior. Why he received one invitation after the other? The women almost offered to be seduced and conquered by him, and he refused them all. It was not the first time he noticed it. »Did you take her in the cold yard? Couldn’t you go to a more comfortable place? I hope you prevented a pregnancy,« he remarked as if it were the most natural thing in the world. The young man drove around outraged. »Of course I didn’t take her,« he protested. »But I still went too far.«

  Befen’s gaze fell into his crotch, saw the spot. Knowingly the older one grinned. »In my opinion, not far enough,« he stated soberly. »Adar, you know how to prevent pregnancy. Why do you torture yourself? Take such an opportunity. Mehit is young. She is pretty. She also likes you. Enjoy the time with her and prevent pregnancy. Then she has no right to lead you into a marriage. You are a warrior, so conquer her body for yourself, enjoy warming her bed. And if she doesn’t bind you anymore, there’s still time enough to end the relationship.«

  Befen also knew from his own experience how important the conquest of a woman was for young warriors. Adar, however, continually refused, only for the sake of conquest, to warm a woman’s bed.

  At the beginning of their friendship, Befen had suspected that Adar might prefer men. But then he noticed that the young warrior was visiting certain houses. Well, he used the whores of the city and paid for their services. But that didn’t satisfy the savage, the beast in the magician, who wanted to conquer, had to conquer. You didn’t have to win a whore. You paid her for her service. But a warrior needed the challenge to conquer a woman.

  »No, Befen, I don’t want that. I don’t feel the slightest thing for her. I was just excited, and alcohol influenced me.«

  »Don’t be ridiculous. You feel something when she excites you. At least you feel as much for her as you do for a whore,« Befen threw coldly at him. »No, I even claim that you undoubtedly feel more!«

  Adar’s head drove around. With a few steps, he stood directly in front of his friend and stared at him with dark eyes. He snarled. »I pay for the services of the women,« he gave back. »Should I pay the granddaughter of the Supreme Lord like a whore?«

  Befen slowly got into despair with the bullhead. Adar did not consider it honorable, so he did not. How could he convince him how important the conquest of a woman was for the inner balance and development of a warrior? But Adar was missing something here. It was the ruthlessness that was inherent in most other warriors. He tried again almost desperately.

  »If you feel like it, why not? You don’t have to feel love. Not at your age. Enjoy the sensual desire. Experience the physical lust of conquest. She offers herself to you, gives herself to you voluntarily. You are a warrior, and it is common knowledge that a young warrior cannot bind himself. She knows that. Maybe it will be enough for her if you warm her bed and leave again. Perhaps she wants to gain experience. Has the thought ever occurred to you? Lord Abarta is sure to have a suitable husband in mind, but that’s not the point.«

  Adar shook his head vehemently. »And if it isn’t? I don’t want it that way. I’m not ready yet. Maybe the time will come later«, with a gloomy look, he turned away from Befen.

  He patted his shoulder. Adar was way too young. It took him a few more years to achieve the necessary calmness.

  »Sleep well, Adar. But do me a favor. Think about it. A warrior at your age has needs. I only advise you to give in to your natural desires. Enjoy your life, and also enjoy the women. You torture yourself unnecessarily if you do not meet the needs from time to time. If it calms you down, you are predicting that you have no deep feelings. But, by the Waves of the Wide Stream, try it once. Give in to your desire. It would be right for you to conquer the body of a woman and not pay for it.« With this, Befen went and left a thoughtful young warrior behind.

  Yes, she had awakened his desire, and it doesn’t was love, just a strong impulse. He wanted to feel her, smell her, taste her, discover her. He wanted to hear her moan, feel her tremble, and see how she gave herself to him. It took an enormous amount of strength not to give in to the feeling immediately. Again and again, Adar came to his limits, but did not want to give in to his inner drives.

  At the age of sixteen, he began his education at the university. In the first half of the year, all students there learned general basics. Especially for the magicians, who felt called to be warriors, learning the basics of healing was important. Immediately afterward, they learned how to prevent pregnancy. For the warriors, it was an absolute necessity to learn this technique. They were wilder and more brutal than the other magicians and followed their instincts more than anyone else. Not only did they experience the passion of battle more intensely, but also the lust of the flesh. Many warriors used every opportunity early on to warm a woman’s bed. That was one of the reasons why they had to learn how to prevent pregnancy. For in Ized such a vow inevitably led to a marriage vow. A too-young warrior but was not a suitable husband.

  Nevertheless, it went also sometimes wrong. If a warrior forgot contraception and the woman became pregnant as a result, Ized’s traditions came into play. The warrior had to marry the pregnant woman, whether he loved her or
not. That was the way the old traditions had been. So there was always a small risk. Adar was not willing to take that risk! He took the laundry out of the armchair and went to the big bathhouse to clean himself. Then he returned. Undressed, he lay down on his bed and pulled the blanket over his body, but could not sleep. He crossed his arms behind his head and thought about what Befen had said.

  If he was honest with himself, he had to admit that he often felt the need to warm a woman’s bed. But it was more pleasant for him. He went with it to a whore whom he could pay for her services.

  Whores didn’t expect feelings from his side. Emotions he couldn’t give. It was their business to satisfie a man. And it wasn’t severely paid. The whore’s profession was not respected among the population, but most of these women were well-to-do. They had a regular clientele, especially among the warriors.

  The fact that he felt just as little towards the women here in the neighborhood as he did towards a whore was a new point of view. He had never seen it that way before.

  He sighed deeply.

  It would certainly be delightful to find out whether Mehit would give herself entirely to him. Would she moan again in his arms, whether he could make her tremble repeatedly? Mehit was not only pretty. Her soft body, her scent, and the way she moved had triggered something in him. She aroused his lust, but that was all. She would only be a flirt for him. He did not want to do that to her.

  His anger about himself, having had so little control, wasn’t over.

  Finally, he fell asleep. In the night he dreamed of her. He felt how her soft body nestled against him, how her skin felt in his hands. He noticed her scent, felt him penetrate her … no. He didn’t want it, he …

  Wrapped in sweat, he woke up. With a single jump, he was off the bed, rushed over to the window and pulled it open. The ice-cold air helped him and made him shiver after a short time. After some time, he calmed down, closed the window, and lay down again. The rest of the night, however, his sleep was restless, and he threw himself from one side to the other.

  The next morning Adar went to the bathhouse before sunrise. Last night’s sleep had not been restful. That’s why he enjoyed the silence in the pools all the more. At this early hour, there were only a few or no visitors in the bathroom. If there were, then it was warriors, like himself, who took advantage of the silence. Today he was alone. Turned back, he sat in a sitting niche, leaned his head against the edge of the pool with his eyes closed and relaxed, trying to shake off the tiredness. Adar thought the dream and sighed. It was true. He had felt it, tasted it, and smelled it.

  The silence gets interrupted by another person in the hall. A scent infiltrated Adar’s nose.

  Adar froze. His hair stood up. He recognized this scent immediately and opened his eyes with irritation. Women were never in the bathroom that early in the morning.

  Mehit got up early to meet him in the bathhouse. She not only knew where he lived; she also knew his habits. One of them was the bath early in the morning. Already before sunrise, he visited the bathhouse. So she hid in front of the building and waited for him. After he had gone in, she waited until she believed he was in the hall of the water basins. Then she also went in, get undressed, and cleaned herself. Finally, she followed him. She discovered him in one of the warm pools. He relaxed with his eyes closed. Shortly before she went into the water, she heard the young man sigh.

  »Good morning, Lord Adar,« Mehit greeted politely.

  He looked suspiciously over to her, while an angry growl abducted him. His reaction caused her to stand a few steps away from him. But then he returned her greeting: »Good morning, Mehit.«

  To show her not to want a conversation, he turned his head away from her. She did not stopped, took another step through the water towards him, then paused again. Her action was enough to get Adar’s attention once more.

  »I wanted to apologize for my behavior yesterday. I get plenty drunk,« she breathed, lowered her gaze, and a light red covered her face. »Will you please forgive my pushiness?«

  The courtesy and shameful tone of her voice reconciled him. His gaze again fleetingly but long enough to notice her modestly lowered eyelids. He noticed her beautiful long eyelashes. Again he was overcome by the desire to conquer her. Quickly he also lowered his eyes in shame. A slight blush drew over his face.

  »We both were probably a little drunk. I didn’t want to hurt you, Mehit. But I still cannot control my instincts. You know how hard it is for warriors. It would be unfair to start an affair with you without have feelings for you. You deserve better than someone like me.

  Someone who’s not as fickle as I am.«

  Mehit came a little closer. She barely whispered and still didn’t raise her eyes: »I’m not looking for a husband at the moment, Lord Adar. But you are always polite, and both your kindness and self-control impress me. I had hoped to gain experience with you.« Then she nibbled on her lower lip.

  He stared at her tense. She was now close enough to him that her scent penetrated his nose. Growling, he rose, stepped up to her and lifted her chin with one hand. Undecided, he approached her face.

  »You really make it hard for me to control myself,« he whispered.

  Her lips were slightly open and invited him to kiss her. He hesitated before he touch her lips. Adar closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling. Gently he kisses her more intensive. She responded to his demand but otherwise did not move. By the waves! Her passivity excited him, made him hiss, and another soft growl leave him. He passionately pulled her towards him, felt the naked skin on his. His hands drove over her body. His breath went faster, and his body trembled. Then he let her go abruptly.

  »It’s time, I have to go to the guard,« he whispered, and she nodded.

  Mehit looked after him with a smile while he left. He wanted her. It was only a matter of time. She could not rush into anything now, but soon he would no longer say no. It had already vibrated inside him. She had been able to feel his growling. Her mother had once explained to her that it was a good sign if the magician growled because then he would envy. So Adar wanted her after all. The growl had revealed it. She was sure of that.

  Adar leaned against the edge of the pool and lifted out of the warm water with a slight swing. He went over to the smaller, ice-cold plunge pool, jumped in once, and then quickly left the bath without giving her another look.

  On the way to his duty, he got his hands on the nutritious dried fruit bread and ate it. He had no time for an extensive breakfast. He also liked the food made of sourdough, into which dried fruit and various nuts had been baked. If you were on the road for days, you would gladly take the bread with you, because it was not only nutritious, but also long-lasting.

  Being assigned to the guard at the gate was incredibly dull. Every warrior had to fulfill this duty regularity. The guardhouse was tiny and uncomfortable. Visitors from the city entered a list before entering the neighborhood and also noted when they left. Otherwise, the stuffy room only gets used by the warriors by rain. Outside the cabin, there was no possibility to sit down for a moment. Adar walked up and down in front of the gate. His only task was to make sure that visitors behaved properly.

  Even today was such a dreary day. Nothing fascinating ever happened here. That was one of the reasons why his thoughts kept wandering to Mehit. He remembered what it felt like to touch her skin, her lips, remembered her scent. He felt a longing inside him. Everything in him cried out to visit her to warm her bed.

  Perhaps he should listen to Befen.

  His impatience did not make it any easier. Today’s service did not seem to come to an end!

  As his watch ended in the afternoon, the gong sounded, which would be heard in every room of the neighborhood. He could also listen to it in the guardhouse at the gate.

  There was an extraordinary meeting. Adar cast a curse, twisted his eyes and growled. He had no desire to have to sit in a meeting where every little thing gets discussed. But every lord and every young magician who did not fulfill a duty
had to go to the meetings. He handed the guard over to the next warrior on duty and set off to enter the Great Hall. First, he had to go into his rooms to put on the robe and sash of the warriors. It was the duty of the assembly to wear the official clothing. On regular days a long robe was disturbing for a warrior, as it restricted the freedom of movement. He could not fight well in it. It was only a symbol for his status as a warrior and lord.

  Meanwhile, his stomach growled. Adar hoped that the meeting would not take too long today. Such sessions could last for hours because there was always a particular reason for them. And once the seekers and alchemists started discussing, it might even drag on into the night.

  When he stepped out of the door of the watch house after the handover, he listened. Someone called out to him in a reserved voice. He turned around. There it was again.

  »Lord Adar?« Her voice sounded timid and insecure, almost a little anxious. He looked around. Mehit stood on the sidewall of the guardhouse. When he discovered her, she shyly held a small package to him. »I had this prepared for you.«

  He walked up to her, accepted it, and smiled. Since she was the granddaughter of the Supreme Lord, she had probably learned of the extraordinary meeting and brought him something to eat. In the paper was a loaf of bread covered with a thick slice of roast meat. When he unpacked it, his starvation became overwhelming.

  »Thank you, Mehit. That’s kind of you. I’m starving.«

  She smiled a little more confidently, gave a friendly nod, and ran away.

  Adar’s eyes followed her until she disappeared behind the next block. He found it attentive to the young woman to think of him. Otherwise, he would hardly have managed to eat anything before the meeting. Then he bit the bread and tasted it on the way to his rooms. There he put on his robe and sash. Saturated, he made his way to the assembly hall.