by Katie Tsang
“Anyway! If there are any ghosts at your party, we’ll take care of them,” I went on.
Regina clapped. “I knew you would.”
“There won’t be ghosts at our party,” said Ralph, and then he paused. “But there will be SHARKS. So I bet you won’t come,” he said, smirking at us. “I saw how scared you were of that shark at the aquarium.”
“Ralph, there aren’t going to be sharks at our birthday,” said Regina. She smiled at me again. “He’s just joking.”
“Did you know that I’ve swum with sharks before?” said Ralph. “Last summer in Hawaii. It was AWESOME. They can smell fear, and they couldn’t smell it on me.”
I have to admit, I was impressed.
“You went swimming with SHARKS?” I said.
“Whoa,” said Bernard.
Zoe frowned. “I don’t believe you,” she said.
“I did! Just ask Regina.”
We all looked over at Regina. She tugged on a loose strand of hair.
“Ralph,” she said. “You know it wasn’t sharks.”
“IT WAS, TOO!” he said.
“What was it really?” Zoe asked.
“We swam with dolphins,” Regina said. “I felt like a mermaid!”
“Wow!” said Zoe.
“They were DEFINITELY sharks,” said Ralph, scowling.
I was starting to think that maybe, just maybe, Ralph and I had more in common than I had thought. But I definitely couldn’t let him be braver than me. Sharks or no sharks, it looked as if we were going to have to go to that party.
“If you can swim with sharks—” I started.
“DOLPHINS,” Zoe and Regina said at the same time.
“We can swim with sharks,” I finished, gesturing around at me, Bernard, and Zoe.
“Sam, I can barely swim at all!” Bernard whispered. “And you just said it was too dangerous to go!”
I ignored him.
“We’re definitely going to your birthday party!” I said.
“We are?” asked Bernard.
“Well, if you really do come—” said Ralph.
“Oh, WE’RE COMING!” I said. There was no turning back now. Spaceman Jack always says that once you commit to a plan, you have to see it through.
“You’d better bring me a really good present,” said Ralph.
“Of course,” I said, because that’s birthday party law. You have to bring someone a present to their birthday party. Even if that person is Ralph. I looked over at Regina. “We’ll bring you presents, too,” I said.
She beamed. “I’m just happy you guys are coming to our party.”
After Ralph and Regina walked away, Bernard turned to me with wide eyes.
“Sam,” he said. “Are we REALLY going to the party?”
“We’d better be,” said Zoe. “I’m sick of all this going back and forth.”
“But what about the sharks?” Bernard wailed. “What are we going to do?”
“I’ve got a plan,” I said.
Bernard groaned. “Not another plan!”
“You’ll like this one,” I said. “It starts with us going to the library!”
So after school that day, we went to the library.
Bernard was THRILLED. The library is his favorite place. He loves to look up facts. And this was just what we needed.
“Okay,” I said when we were inside. “First things first . . .”
“Shh!” someone behind me said. “This is a library.”
I turned around. It was a girl a few years older than us. “I know it is a library,” I said.
“Then BE QUIET!” she hissed back at me. “I’m trying to do my homework!”
I’ve heard that when you get older you get more homework. Maybe that’s why she was so grumpy.
“Someone should invent a loud library,” I said. “It is very hard to keep quiet when you are discovering EXCITING things.”
“Discover exciting things more quietly,” grumpy homework girl said.
“Come on,” said Bernard. “Let’s go to the science section!”
The science section was HUGE—so huge that the shelves went all the way to the ceiling!
“Um, Bernard,” I said, tipping my head back so I could see the tops of the shelves. “How do we even reach those books?”
“How do we even READ them? They look like ENCYCLOPEDIAS!” said Zoe.
Bernard beamed. “They ARE encyclopedias! And watch this!”
He jogged around the corner (this shows just how excited he was—Bernard never jogs unless he absolutely has to) and came back lugging a ladder on wheels.
“Ta-da!” he said, looking proud of himself.
“That doesn’t look very safe,” I said, eying it warily. NOT that I am afraid of heights, because I’m not afraid of anything, but you know—safety first.
“It’s fine! I’ve seen the librarians go up it loads of times!” said Bernard. “Just HOLD IT STILL for me.”
“Maybe we should both hold it still,” I said. “We don’t want it to roll away.”
Bernard wheeled the ladder over to the S section. “I see the books!” he said, pointing far, far up. “I’ll get them.”
“Have you ever seen anyone go up that high?” I asked.
He shook his head. “No, but I can do it,” he said. He looked a little nervous.
“Are you sure?” asked Zoe. “I can go if you want.” Zoe is used to heights from jumping off the diving board.
Bernard nodded. “I’m sure,” he said. “If I can learn to swim, I can climb this ladder.” Then he looked at both of us. “Just hold it really steady and let me know if someone comes—I think only librarians are allowed to go up it.”
“Maybe we should just get a librarian?” suggested Zoe.
“Bernard can do it!” I said. “This is his MOMENT!” I was very proud of Bernard. I lowered my voice and raised my hand in our signature salute.
“For the universe!” I whispered.
“For the universe!” Zoe and Bernard whispered back.
And then Bernard was up the ladder!
“Whoa, it’s pretty high up here!” he said.
“Don’t look down!” I said.
“You aren’t that high,” said Zoe. “But hurry up—I think someone is coming!”
“Give me a second,” said Bernard. “I’ve got them!” Then he paused. “They’re pretty heavy . . . I don’t know how I’m going to go back down the ladder with them.”
“Why don’t you drop them?” asked Zoe.
“WHAT IF THEY LAND ON OUR HEADS?” I said.
“Shh!” said Zoe. “Bernard, just be careful with your aim.”
“BERNARD HAS TERRIBLE AIM!” I said in a whisper-shout. A whisper-shout is when you want to shout but you have to be quiet.
“DON’T YOU REMEMBER THE BASKETBALL SITUATION?”
“We don’t talk about that!” Bernard whisper-shouted back down. “I’ve got this! Just watch out!”
Of all the shark-related ways to die, getting hit on the head with a book about sharks had to be the worst.
I closed my eyes tight and waited.
“One, two, three!” said Bernard. There was a rustle of pages past my ear and a right next to me.
“YOU ALMOST GOT ME!” I exclaimed.
“But I didn’t!” said Bernard. “Stop shaking—it’s making the ladder wobble.”
“I’m not shaking! And get back down here so we can start researching.”
“My idea is to learn as much about the enemy as we can, find their weaknesses, and have a PLAN OF ATTACK,” I said. We had our shark research books and our notebooks and were sitting on a table far from any other library goers. We didn’t want to get in trouble for not whispering.
“The enemy?” said Zoe.
“The sharks!” I told her.
“We’re going to attack sharks?” she said. “That sounds like the worst plan you’ve ever had, Sam!”
I shook my head. “NO, NO, NO. When I say ‘plan of attack,’ I mean we’ll
just be prepared for them. It’s a saying. I learned it from Captain Jane. So, first thing is to find out everything we can about sharks. Bernard, what have you found?”
Bernard looked up from his book. “I’ve learned quite a lot,” he said. He sounded a little nervous. “I think they might be even more dangerous than we first thought.”
“How is that possible?” I sputtered. I already thought sharks were the most dangerous things in the UNIVERSE!
“Just tell us the facts, Bernard,” said Zoe. “We’re ready.”
“Well,” said Bernard, “first of all, sharks can have over three thousand teeth . . .”
“THREE THOUSAND?” I said.
Bernard ignored me and kept going. “And they have no bones and are made mostly of muscle.”
“So they are made of just muscles and teeth?” asked Zoe. “Like a super villain?”
“Exactly like a super villain,” I said. “Like the Evil Shark Lord.”
“What else, Bernard?” asked Zoe.
“They NEVER stop moving,” he said.
“Oh no,” I groaned. “So much for my plan to only go in the water when they were sleeping.”
“And they have EIGHT senses,” he said. “Here, I wrote them down.”
“EIGHT?” I exclaimed. “How many do we have.”
“Five,” said Bernard. “We’ve got touch, sight, hearing, taste, and smell. Sharks have all of those plus they can sense water currents, vibrations, AND electrical fields.”
“Electrical fields! Are they like robots?” asked Zoe.
“Actually,” said Bernard, “all things with a heartbeat give off an electric pulse. Sharks use their electro-sensors to sense your heartbeat in the water.”
“Electro-what?” asked Zoe.
“I don’t care what it is called,” I said with a shudder. “What are all these senses even for?”
“Mostly for finding food,” said Bernard.
“THEY ARE THE PERFECT PREDATOR!” I wailed. “WE WON’T HAVE A CHANCE!”
“Actually,” said Bernard again, “I’ve been researching, and the chances of a person getting eaten by a shark are slim.”
“How slim?”
“Very slim,” said Bernard, looking me in the eye. “You’re more likely to have a vending machine fall on you, or get struck by lightning, or for a coconut to fall on your head!”
“Thanks, Bernard. Now I’m just going to be worried about ALL of those things,” I moaned. “And we still don’t have a plan for the shark.”
“Well,” said Bernard, “we could always try what the Aztecs did.”
“Who are the Aztecs?” asked Zoe.
“Don’t you remember my presentation on them last year?” asked Bernard.
“You do a lot of presentations,” I said.
“The Aztecs were a tribe that lived in Central America HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS of years ago, and they were super smart! They built temples and were the inventors of chocolate.”
“I mean, I love chocolate, but chocolate won’t save us from sharks!” I said. “Tell me what the Aztecs did about sharks.”
“Well, they used to attach chili peppers to their canoes to keep the sharks away.”
I frowned. “Like pickle juice keeps ghosts away?”
“EXACTLY,” said Bernard. “So we’ll bring chili peppers to the party.”
“Where are we going to get chili peppers?” asked Zoe.
I grinned. I knew where. “Don’t you remember what Na-Na is growing in her garden?”
Then it was time.
Time for Ralph and Regina’s beach birthday bash.
Or “shark attack take two,” as I was calling it in my head.
But we were ready. Or as ready as we were going to be. After the library, we’d sneaked into Na-Na’s garden and stolen some of her chilies. Actually, we TRIED to sneak into her garden, but she is always watching, so she caught us. It was really pretty lucky she caught us, because she told us that chilies could and made us wear gloves before we touched them. And then she helped us tie them onto string for us to wear around our waists. We told her it was for an art project. If you ever need to trick an adult, say it is for a school project. Works every time.
We all had our shark-repelling chili-pepper belts, Bernard had his armbands, and Zoe had her big sunglasses. The sunglasses didn’t have anything to do with the plan, but she insisted on wearing them.
Lucy tried to come to the party, but I told her it was for big kids only. I felt a little bad about that so I promised her I’d go back to the beach with her next weekend but ONLY if she didn’t bring Butterbutt.
I also checked my backpack before leaving, just to make sure Butterbutt hadn’t sneaked in. He’s kind of a ninja cat—you never know what he’ll get up to.
By the time we arrived at the beach, our whole class was at the party! There were balloons everywhere, a shark cake the size of a real shark, and, just like Zoe promised, A MAGICIAN. He was making balloon animals. Everyone wanted a shark. Not me—I didn’t need anymore sharks in my life. I asked for a giraffe.
“Look who came to the party—Scaredy-Cat Sam!” said Ralph with a sneer.
“Happy birthday, Ralph,” I said, holding out his present. Because even if he was Ralph, it was still his birthday. “Thank you for inviting me to your birthday.” My mom always makes me say THANK YOU.
“I told you, I didn’t invite you—Regina did,” he said. But he still took his present.
“Well, tell Regina thank you,” I said.
“Tell her yourself,” said Ralph. “She’s right here.” Regina had just walked up to us.
“Happy birthday, Regina,” I said, handing her a present.
“Thank you, Sam!” she said, smiling at me.
Ralph was staring at my shark-repellent belt. “What IS that?”
“None of your business,” I said quickly.
“I think it looks nice,” said Regina. “Zoe and Bernard are wearing them, too.”
“Losers,” said Ralph. Then he smiled, but it wasn’t a nice smile, it was a shark smile. “Bet you are too scared to go in the water,” he said.
I said.
he said.
I said.
“Prove it,” said Ralph.
“You don’t have to prove anything, Sam,” said Regina.
I took a deep breath and looked out at the ocean. This was it. This was the moment to prove once and for all that I wasn’t Scaredy-Cat Sam.
And then I saw it.
I SAW THE SHARK!
But I didn’t only see the shark. There was a man—an old man—right next to the shark!
“There’s an old man about to get attacked by a shark!” I said, pointing.
“WHAT?” yelled Ralph, looking at the ocean. “Where?”
“I’ll get help!” cried Regina, running back up the beach toward the lifeguard stand.
I did what I had to do. I ran.
Not away, like I usually do.
But toward the water. Just like Spaceman Jack would.
As he says, sometimes we have to run into danger to be a hero.
I ran as fast as I could, my chili-pepper belt flapping in the wind. I was kicking up sand and running through sandcastles, but I couldn’t stop. I didn’t want to be too late!
I ran into the water, the waves around me, and went straight for the old man. He was even older than Na-Na! If Na-Na is ever in the ocean all by herself and about to get eaten by a shark, I hope someone will save her, too.
“Hey, you!” I yelled. “Get out! There’s a
And then I realized how close I was to the shark.
I was frozen in fear. I couldn’t move. The waves were getting higher (almost to my knees) and the shark was getting closer and the man STILL wasn’t getting out of the water and I closed my eyes and hoped Bernard was right about the chili-pepper belt repelling sharks, and then . . .
“That’s not a shark,” said the old man, who had finally swum over and was standing next to me. “That’s a dolphin.”
I opened my eyes and blinked. A DOLPHIN? I squinted into the sun and saw the fin heading back out into the open ocean. Now that I was closer, I could tell that it didn’t really look like a shark fin. I wondered if the “shark” we’d seen with Butterbutt had been the same dolphin! Or maybe it was its friend.
“It’s good luck to see a dolphin,” said the old man, smiling at me. “Did you come in here thinking it was a shark? Why would you do a thing like that?”
“I didn’t want you to get eaten,” I said.
The old man shook his head. He was wearing a wet suit and looked as if he could have been a member of the . A really old member though.
“Young man, that was a VERY brave thing for you to do,” he said. “Thank you.”
“But you were never in any actual danger,” I said.
“You didn’t know that. You are a HERO!”
I grinned. I’d never been called a hero before. I knew Spaceman Jack would be proud.
“Why don’t we go have some cake to celebrate?” he said.
“Cake?” I said. How did he know there was cake on the beach?
“Yes! It’s my granddaughter and grandson’s birthday today.”
“You’re Ralph and Regina’s grandpa?” I said. I couldn’t believe it!
“Oh, do you know Ralphie and Regina? Wonderful! Well, let’s go and join them.”
RALPHIE? I couldn’t imagine anyone calling Ralph “Ralphie!” I smiled to myself.
I went back up to the party with Ralph and Regina’s grandpa. The lifeguard had come by the party because Regina had told him there was a shark. But the lifeguard could tell with his binoculars that it was a dolphin.
“There was NO shark,” said Ralph with a sneer.
Then he saw who was next to me.
“Grandpa!” he said. “Where’d you go?”
“Oh, I just went for a little dip. And this brave young man thought he saw a shark about to get me, so he ran to save me. You’re lucky to have him as a friend.”
