“But it isn’t really all that different now, is it?” She knew the baggage she hauled from place to place.
“You don’t need me,” he said like it was something profound.
“I don’t?” She laughed a bitter laugh. “How am I supposed to get out of here? How am I supposed to contact anyone? If the FBI swoop in, who is my only outside connection? You. You’re the only thing I’ve got going for me now. I am more dependent on you than I’ve been on anyone in ages. I always have a back-up plan or an exit strategy, but not this time.”
No, she’d let Rudy talk her off that ledge. She’d stayed put when her gut said run, and now everything had changed. She knew what it was like to hold and be held. What it was like to revel in that bliss of new attraction. And she was reminded of what it was like to be powerless to save herself.
“You don’t really need me. Maybe what you need is a helping hand to your next jumping off point, but you don’t need me. I want you to need me, but you don’t. I want to help because...I get you. I get having a past that haunts your future. I told you about my family.” He shook his head. “I don’t think I’ve told anyone that.”
He was right there. With his deep, dark family secrets it wasn’t like he could talk freely about them. Not here in Ransom. But did that really make all the difference? There were thousands of people out there with less than ideal family histories. They weren’t exactly unique. But, if she believed him, she was the only person he’d spoken to about this. And he was the first person she’d opened up to about her past besides law enforcement. Even Rudy didn’t know all of it. He couldn’t and not end up a target.
She stared at Trevor, his face lined with anguish and his eyes pleading with her.
“What do you want to hear from me? That we get each other? That we can fix each other? What?” A crazy part of Dina wanted to sort this out. It had to make sense in a way that would allow her to hold on to this connection a while longer. But to what end?
Everything in her wanted to go to him, crawl into his lap and hold on. But that would send the wrong signal. Instead, she crossed the cabin and sank down onto the other dining chair adjacent him. He twisted to face her, those beacon eyes of his shining right at her, showing her the way back to what they could have.
“I want you to know that whatever Jenna told you, it doesn’t apply to you.” Trevor reached for her hand.
“What about Scarlett? You dated her when her mom died?” She saw him wince.
“We were kids. Most we did was pass notes and go to football games together. She needed someone.”
“How many more women have I run into that you’ve dated? The girl at the antique shop?” Dina’s cheeks heated. She didn’t expect him to have been a monk before her, but had he dated every woman in town?
“Ingrid?” he supplied her name awfully fast.
“Yeah.”
“One date, ages ago. We both agreed it was a bad idea. Dina, Ransom’s a small town. If you’re going to be upset I’ve dated...”
“Was Ingrid another project?”
“No.”
“Jenna?”
“I told you, we never dated.”
“Why?”
“We just didn’t.”
“Why not?”
Trevor stared at the floor. She could feel the tension coming off him like a furnace. Was there history besides a brotherly affection there?
“She says I need to be needed...” he finally said.
“Do you?”
“I don’t know. We never clicked like that. She moved back here the last two years of high school. We became friends. That’s it. I swear.”
“And more recently?”
Trevor shook his head. “If you listen to her, the moment she met Alex, there wasn’t anyone else.”
Dina sifted through what she knew of Jenna and her fiancé, Alex, while staring at the wood grain dining table. Her gaze followed the darker colors winding through the pale, telling a story she couldn’t read. There’d been years from when Jenna got out of the army and moved back to Ransom. And all that time she’d been in love with one man?
If Jenna hadn’t been able to see Alex as her future, what hope did Dina have to discern her own fate?
Whatever happened, happened. She couldn’t wonder about a future filled with love when she had to focus on surviving the next hour, day, week, month, year. Even if they got Phillip and Little Tony, there’d have to be evidence that traced back to Dominick. Without that, he’d just send someone else after her, endangering everyone around her in her brother’s campaign to get even.
Dina did need Trevor. He was wrong on that front. Whatever she might be able to do with the right tools was pointless until she had them. For the time being, he was all she had going for her. It didn’t hurt that he was a capable cop, with the full support of the law behind him.
Then there were the more personal aspects of their entanglement. The memories of being held in his arms as he thrust into her caused a response in her traitorous body. Even knowing what she knew about him, Dina wanted Trevor despite the night’s revelations.
Did any of it really matter?
Whenever things with her brother came to a head, or if Phillip and Little Tony found her, everything would change. She might die. Her brother might go to prison for the rest of his life. Trevor might wake up and realize she wasn’t who he wanted to be with.
It was all uncertain.
One of the things she’d always tried to do was make the best of the cards she’d been dealt. She’d been doing it all her life, ever since she realized that Mom and Dad did scary things. Tonight was no different. Trevor was who he was, and her baggage remained the same. The only thing that was different was that she knew how this might end.
What was she going to do with those facts?
Dina lifted her gaze to Trevor and found him staring at her. Her body went still, and she sucked in a breath.
No man had ever looked at her like that.
There were deep, swirling emotions in the depths of his gaze. Trevor was a man who cared. That was her takeaway from everything tonight. He wasn’t this person because he wanted to play god. He was this way because he cared about people to the point he got wrapped up in their lives.
Dina feared that if he got too close to her, she could be the death of him. But there was no separating them for the time being. She was wholly reliant on him, which was new territory for her.
She’d never had anyone truly supporting her. Not because they believed in her or anything like that. Nothing like what she had with Trevor.
If she were a good person, she’d keep the boundary between them firmly in place. But she wasn’t good. She couldn’t be with her heritage. Which meant she was greedy enough to take what he offered. For now. She couldn’t fall in love with him or anything crazy like that, but she could accept this help knowing full well the pitfalls that came with it. And when everything was said and done, she could leave and take her problem life out of his. He’d probably thank her for it. Once Dominick was finally behind bars she could do one, last start over move and find someone who wouldn’t care about her past or her baggage, someone she could be real with and live out her life. Trevor had taught her that this feeling was worth having.
TREVOR COULD SEE ANY chance he had with Dina slipping away from him.
How did he make her understand that despite their current circumstances, she was different?
He didn’t know how to explain his love life habits. She didn’t fit them. She wasn’t helpless though the situation she was in now might have disarmed her of the tools to take care of herself. It wouldn’t last. Didn’t she see that?
“You know who my last girlfriend was?” He leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees. This wasn’t a story he wanted to relive.
Dina didn’t answer. No woman wanted to know about the one that came before, but it was his last-ditch attempt to make her understand.
“Her name was Megan. She was broke down on the road headed i
nto town. I changed her tire, and she fell apart, crying on my shoulder in the middle of the night. I felt sorry for her, knew there was more than just a busted car going on, so I let her stay in my guest room. She lived there for three months. That woman got me into trouble all over town.” He rolled his eyes and scrubbed a hand over his face. Megan wasn’t malicious she’d just been lost. Broken. Grasping at straws.
“Is that part of it then? Random, crying women landing in your lap?” Dina’s dry tone grated his raw nerves.
“No,” he snapped. “Megan...she was so broken we never did anything.”
“You mean to tell me she lived in your guest room and you took care of her for three months without anything happening between you? And you called her your girlfriend?”
“She told people we were dating, not me.” He knew how it looked. His feelings for Megan were the deciding point. He’d grown to care for her gentle, broken soul to the point that watching her leave him had left a scar.
“I see.” Dina crossed her arms over her chest.
“There at the end I thought I got through to her. I thought she realized she needed to change. Then her ex showed up, busted my lip, packed her up and they drove off together. That was when I said I wasn’t doing that any more. And I’m not. You aren’t like Megan. You’re different.”
“You keep saying that word.”
He was going to make her understand if it was the last thing he did. She would see herself as he saw her.
Trevor reached over, grasped her chair legs and dragged her over until her knees were between his thighs, facing each other. Her posture remained tight. Closed off. She was a fortress he would never get into if she didn’t want to let him in.
“You’re stronger than most women. There aren’t many people who would do what you’ve done.” He placed his hands on her thighs. The soft cotton dress between them teased his fingers. “You’re capable. You know what you’re doing, how to do it—everything. There isn’t anything about you that’s broken. You’re a whole person in a shitty place, and I want to help you out of it. That’s it.”
“And be your damaged woman? No, thanks.”
“Damaged?” Trevor sat back, once more thrown for a loop. That word was farthest from his mind when he looked at her. Deep down, he was in awe of her. “Dina, that’s what I’m trying to say. You aren’t damaged. There’s nothing about you that’s broken. You aren’t injured or hurt or weak. You’re brave.”
A tremble went through her. If he didn’t have his hands on her legs, he wouldn’t have felt it.
Was that it? Was that what she feared? Being hurt again?
His gaze dropped to her shoulder.
The scars.
Jenna had remarked on those. They barely registered to him.
What kind of torture had she endured to get those? And at the hands of her parents?
It was falling into place now. Even his slightly inebriated brain could see the connection between her words, body and past.
He slid to his knees and his arms around her waist, tugging her to the edge of her seat. She slid forward, her arms going around his shoulders.
She knew how to keep going, marching forward, but it was the inner pain and betrayal that continued to hurt her.
He got it.
Deep down, there were parts of him that were still that little boy who wanted his father’s approval.
Trevor bent his head and kissed the place where shoulder and arm met. He hooked his finger in the strap and pulled it aside, dropping kisses along her collar bone.
Was that how she saw herself? Damaged? Broken? Injured?
“When I look at you, you know what I see?” His nose bumped her chin.
The few tears were gone, dried away, but she didn’t have an answer for him.
“I see this beautiful, ballsy woman. I don’t see scars or brokenness.” He paused to kiss her cheek. “I think about the way you laugh, how you smile, your eyes lighting up.”
“You’re just drunk,” she muttered.
“Off two beers? One and a half, really.” He tightened his grip on her. “I don’t think so. The truth is, I like you. I’m attracted to your strength. And yeah, maybe I need to be needed. But don’t you want to be with someone who you can be partners with? I’m not trying to take over and tell you what to do or how to do it. I just want you to be safe. I want to help you out from under all of this.”
And with any luck once the dust settled they’d be able to pick up and see where things went. This was new territory for her. They’d need to go slow, back to basics even. From the night at the bar until now, they’d jumped in deep.
“You have no idea how amazing you are,” he said.
She ducked her face, but there was no hiding the blush turning the tips of her ears red.
Trevor kissed her temple while mentally trying to rein his urges in. A slowdown could be good for them even if it wasn’t what his baser instincts were on board for.
Dina turned her face towards his, lips parted, but she didn’t speak. She cupped his head and pressed her mouth to his. A surge of arousal rushed through him, his erection throbbing.
Down boy.
Her fingers curled into his hair, tugging on the short strands while her tongue teased his. A tightness spread in the pit of his stomach and he leaned against her. He tightened his grip on her hips, aligning their bodies.
If this kept going, he was going to have to go take a swim in the stock pond. There wasn’t anywhere else to go to cool off. He knew what he wanted, but he had to prove himself to her. She had to believe him, to see herself the way he saw her.
Trevor turned his face, breaking the kiss. Dina’s lips slid across his cheek, her grasp on him growing tighter.
“Dina?” Her name came out more like a groan.
She had a leg hooked around his hip, holding her to him.
“Babe, we should—”
“Fuck,” she muttered in his ear.
He shuddered at the word.
“Maybe we shouldn’t,” he said. And given their exchange, maybe they shouldn’t.
“I want to.” Her hands slid lower, holding onto him. “I want to feel...different.”
“I don’t know what that word means.” He chuckled, but it was a strained sound.
“Trevor.”
He was powerless to say no to her. He’d opened a vein showed her his pain, and she’d shown him hers. All he wanted was to give her a respite, help, comfort and even pleasure. Right now they had each other. Tomorrow they might not have that.
Trevor picked her up, her legs wrapping around his hips, and set her down on the sturdy table that had sat between them.
Before her, there’s never been room for him to have a problem. But Dina didn’t need him to fix her or take over. Which left room for him to look back at the last few years and what he’d tried to do with himself and see a future. A future with someone who understood him and accepted that life wasn’t always rainbows over the stock pond.
She slid her hands under his shirt, the feel of her touch undoing his resolve.
Who was he kidding?
They were explosive.
Besides, there was one bed, and he wasn’t sleeping in the SUV. He wasn’t that much of a gentleman.
Dina grasped his shirt and lifted it up and over his head. He tossed it toward the bags, but knew it fell short.
“I’ve had all kinds of ideas about you in this dress.” He flattened his hand on her thigh, the hem of the dress hitting at his wrist. “The minute you put it on I wanted to slide it up.”
“What is it with you and dresses?” She chuckled.
He had vague memories of her red dress bunched around her waist.
“They’re magic.”
“Magic?”
“Yeah.” He pushed his fingers under the lace lined hem, watching her face as his palm coasted up her inner thigh.
Her eyes went wide, and she shuddered, thighs easing apart. He grasped her knee, pulling them apart as he stroked the smooth fl
esh of her inner thigh. He brushed her bare folds.
“Fuck,” he choked out.
No God damn panties. The whole time? While she was around the other guys?
If he’d have known there was no way he’d have waited this long.
Trevor bunched up her skirt and hoisted it up to her waist. Sure enough, from the waist down she wasn’t wearing anything.
“My underwear showed through,” she said, as if that made sense to him right now.
He dropped to his knees, driven by need and pulled her ass to the very edge of the table. He bit her inner thigh. Her legs clamped tight around his shoulders. He cupped her ass in one hand and used his thumb to stroke the beginning of her slit, seeking the bundle of nerves.
Dina shuddered and leaned back.
There.
That was it.
He bent his head and licked the spot while his fingers went deeper, delving into her body. He let go of her ass and flattened his palm to her stomach, forcing her to lie back farther.
“T-Trevor.” She grabbed a handful of his hair and jerked.
He circled the spot with his tongue, tasting her, feeling the way her body responded to him.
This was special. Good even. She couldn’t deny that. He wouldn’t let her forget that what they had here was good. Everything else could be sorted out.
Dina let out a choked cry and shuddered her release. He almost wished he got to work a little for her orgasm. Then again, he could always encourage an encore performance out of her.
He held onto her, sucking her flesh until her keening wail reached its peak. She fell back on the table, her chest heaving.
How many times had he eaten dinner here?
Yeah, there’d never be a meal out on the stock pond after this when he didn’t recall this moment with Dina spread out like a sensual buffet.
Trevor eased his fingers out of her and kissed her hip.
She reached out a hand. Or, her hand flopped toward him and her fingers wiggled. He took it and pressed a kiss to her palm then pushed to his feet. Her eyes were nearly black, the pupil eating up all the color.
Stolen Redemption (Texas SWAT, #2) Page 16
