Going to get my phone, I check to see if I have any texts. There's a few from April, and Giada sent me a cute puppy video, but that's it. Nothing from Nate.
A text dings and I quickly look down at my phone. Here's another one! OMG isn't he cute?
It's Giada, sending me another dog video. She loves dogs, especially those little tiny ones that fit in a purse.
Wait—wasn't Giada supposed to be out with Brad tonight? I check her earlier text. It was sent at eight. Did they even go on a date? If they did, it was really short.
I text her back. Aren't you supposed to be out with Brad?
Didn't work out, she texts back.
What happened?
Nothing. So I left. I think he has a girlfriend.
I call her.
She knows it's me and answers, "Hey, did you see the video of the dancing chihuahua?"
"Yeah. Adorable. So why do you think Brad has a girlfriend?"
"Because he didn't look at me. Not to sound full of myself, but guys usually can't take their eyes off me. But Brad barely noticed me. He was all distracted by whatever was going on around us, and he kept looking at his phone."
"Maybe he was checking the time."
"Or checking for texts from his girlfriend."
"Brad doesn't have a girlfriend."
"Then I don't know what his problem was. Maybe he sees me more as a friend."
"That's probably it."
"How was your night out with Nate?"
"How'd you know about that?"
"Brad told me during drinks. We didn't even make it to dinner. I told him just to take me home."
"What else did he tell you?"
"Not much. He talked a little about his family."
"What'd he say about Nate and me? Did he call it a date?"
"No. Why? Is that what it was? Are you dating Nate?"
"No. I'm not even sure he's talking to me anymore."
"Why? What happened?"
I tell her the story, then make her promise not to tell anyone. Gossip spreads fast at the pool and I don't want everyone there knowing, although they might figure it out on their own if Nate gives me the silent treatment at work.
"I wouldn't worry about it," Giada says. "He'll get over it."
"I'm not so sure about that. Nate doesn't get over stuff easily."
"He just needs time. The same thing happened to me my junior year of college, except I'd actually been dating the guy a few months. He was a senior, and the day after graduation he told me how much he loved me and then gave me a ring."
"He proposed?"
"Yeah. I was shocked. Up until then I thought we were just casually dating. I had no idea he was planning a future with me."
"So what'd you do?"
"Told him I didn't feel the same way. He was hurt and didn't talk to me for a few weeks, but then one day he called to tell me he got a job and we were back to being friends. So just give Nate some time."
"It's just hard because I'm so used to talking to him or texting him and now I feel like I can't. He won't even talk to Brad."
"He's just upset. Right now he just wants to be left alone. That's totally normal, especially for a guy."
"Maybe you're right. I just need to give him some time."
She yawns. "I'm really tired. Those kids wore me out."
A daycare reserved the pool today and it was nonstop chaos for the entire hour they were there.
"I'll let you get some sleep. See you tomorrow."
"Yeah, bye."
I hope Giada is right and things with Nate will go back to normal in a day or two. Even if it takes a week, it's better than having him never talk to me again.
Chapter Eleven
Nate
When I go in the kitchen to get breakfast, Brad's sitting at the counter, eating his usual scrambled egg whites and toast.
"Hey, man, how's it going?"
"Not great," I mutter. "How about you? How was your date last night?" I grab a mug and fill it with coffee.
"Didn't work out. Went for drinks and decided to skip dinner."
"How could you not like Giada? She's great."
"She is, but we're better as friends."
"Friends." I huff. "You really think guys and girls can be friends?"
"Sure. I've had plenty of friends who are girls."
I sit next to him, stirring my coffee. "And you never felt anything more? You never had feelings for any of them?"
"No." He gets up and takes his plate to the sink.
"Lucky bastard," I mutter.
He stands across from me. "Listen, Nate, I know what this is about. I talked to Riley last night and—"
"You talked to Riley?" I slam my mug down, spilling my coffee. "What the hell?"
"What? I'm not allowed to talk to her?"
"You can, but why'd you do it?"
"Because you came home pissed and I wanted to know what happened. Since you wouldn't tell me, I asked Riley."
"You called her?"
"Yeah, and then I went over there."
"Why would you go over there?"
"Because she was fucking upset. I don't know all the details of your little conversation last night, but whatever happened, Riley couldn't stop crying."
"She didn't tell you?"
"She said you told her you love her and when she told you she didn't feel the same way, you got pissed. Now she's scared you'll never talk to her again."
"Maybe I won't."
He reaches over and shoves my shoulder. "What the fuck's wrong with you? You'd end years of friendship because she doesn't want to date you? Seriously?"
"I'm not ending the friendship. But right now, I don't want to be around her."
"Then take a day or two to cool off, but not more than that. It's not fair to her. She didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry she turned you down, but you can't force someone to love you."
"You don't think I fucking know that?" I shake my head. "I'm going to my room. I don't feel like talking."
I storm down to my room and slam the door. I grab my laptop and start searching for jobs. Now that I know Riley doesn't want me, I want out of this town as fast as possible. Maybe I could even find something this summer. I'd rather stay and work at the pool, but not if means watching Riley date someone else.
"Nate?" my mom says, knocking on my door.
"I'm busy."
"I'll make it quick."
"What is it?"
She opens the door. "What's going on with you and Brad? It sounded like you two were fighting."
"We weren't fighting," I say, my eyes on my laptop.
"It sure seemed like it," she says, coming over to sit on my bed. "I heard raised voices."
"He was just annoying me. Telling me things I didn't want to hear."
"About Riley?"
My eyes flit to hers. "Who told you about Riley?"
"So this is about Riley. I was just guessing, knowing she's the only one who could make you this upset. What happened?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Nate, you know Riley will tell me if you don't."
"Fine." I close my laptop and look at her. "Riley doesn't love me."
Her brows furrow. "What do you mean? Of course she loves you. She tells you that all the time."
"As a friend. Nothing more."
"Oh." She looks down, biting her lip.
"You knew I loved her, right? As more than a friend?"
Her eyes lift to mine. "Actually, no. You've always said she's just a friend. And all through college you dated other girls."
"Yeah, but it's always been Riley. She's the one I wanted."
"Then why'd you wait so long to tell her?"
"I was afraid she might not feel the same way." I look down. "Turns out I was right."
"Oh, honey." She scoots closer to me and puts her hand on my arm. "This happened last night? You told her how you felt?"
"Yeah. I took her to dinner and told her after that."
"That's why you
didn't want Brad going along."
"Yeah. It was supposed to be a romantic evening. Just the two of us."
"And have you talked to her since?"
"I can't. I don't even want to see her. I might even call in sick to work."
"Nate, you can't be upset with Riley for not feeling the same way you do. I know it hurts that she didn't react the way you wanted, but you can't be angry at her for that."
"You sound just like Brad." I get up from the bed, taking my laptop over to my desk. "My own damn family won't even take my side in this."
"I'm not taking sides. I'm just telling you it's not fair to Riley to be punished for not feeling the same way you do. She still loves you, Nate, and always will. It may not be the same love you feel for her, but that doesn't mean she doesn't care about you. I'm sure she feels terrible knowing she hurt you last night, and having you not speak to her is only going to make her feel worse. Is that really what you want? To hurt Riley like that?"
"She hurt ME."
"But not intentionally." My mom comes up beside me. "Don't be this way. I didn't raise you to hurt people, especially those you care about most."
I sigh. "Yeah, I'll talk to her. I just need some time."
"Maybe you could also talk to Brad. I'm sure he didn't mean to upset you."
"I'm too pissed to talk to him right now." I turn to face my mom. "He went and talked to Riley last night, without even talking to me."
Her brows rise. "You're saying he needs your permission to talk to her?"
"Well, no, but he could've at least said something to me before he went over there."
"Honey, don't blame Brad for trying to be a friend, to both you and Riley. Since arriving here, he's spent all his time with the two of you. He can see the special relationship you two have. I'm sure he was just trying to help, seeing if he could patch things up between you and Riley."
"I don't need his help," I say, folding my arms over my chest. "He shouldn't have gotten involved in it. This is between Riley and me."
"That doesn't mean Brad can't be a friend to Riley. He's always been a good listener, which I'm sure she needed last night."
"Why do you keep sticking up for Brad?" I go past her to my closet. "You always act like the guy is perfect. It's really freaking annoying." I grab a t-shirt and stuff it in my backpack to take to the pool.
"I'm concerned for him," she says, coming over to me. "This is a difficult time for his family. He needs friends now more than ever."
"What do you mean? Did something else happen?"
She walks over to the door and closes it. "I just talked to your Aunt Sheryl. She said John's gambling debt is far worse than she originally thought."
"Like how much?"
"A hundred thousand. Maybe more."
"Holy shit," I mutter.
"Sheryl got a notice in the mail yesterday saying their mortgage hasn't been paid in months. John always made the payments, so she assumed he'd been paying them on time. And he always got the mail, so she wasn't seeing the late payment notices. All that's changed now that she knows about his gambling addiction." My mom sighs. "It's such a sad situation. They had so many plans for what they were going to do once the kids were finally grown. Traveling. Updating the house. They had even talked about getting a vacation home. But none of that will happen now."
"Do you think they'll get divorced?"
"I really don't know. As of now, Sheryl says she still loves him and is committed to getting him help. She's been calling counselors, setting up appointments, doing whatever she can to help John with his addiction. Nate, I'm telling you this because I want you to know what Brad is going through."
"Does Brad know about this?"
"Yes, but you know how he is. He's never been someone who opens up when things aren't going well. He'd rather smile and pretend everything's fine. But they're not fine, and he really needs a friend right now."
I nod. "Got it."
"Oh, and don't tell him I told you this. Let him tell you himself. Or if he doesn't, that's fine too. Just be there for him, okay?"
"Yeah." I check the time. "I need to get ready for work."
"You're leaving this early? You don't have to be there for an hour."
"I'm going to stop over at Riley's first. Maybe give her a ride to work."
My mom smiles. "Now that's the Nate I know." She winks at me. "Tell her I said hi."
"I will. Bye, Mom."
After she leaves, I pick up my phone and call Riley. When she picks up, I say, "I'm an ass."
"Yep," she says, popping the p.
"That's it?" I chuckle. "You're not even going to try to argue with me?"
"What's there to argue about? The truth is the truth."
"Listen, Riley, I'm really sorry about last night. I shouldn't have been mad at you. And honestly, I wasn't mad. I was hurt. I still am, but I'll get over it. It'll just take some time."
"I want things to go back to how they were before. You're my best friend, and I love you...just not the way you love me."
"I know, and...that's okay. It's not what I wanted, but I need to accept that and move on. It's just hard, you know? Because I really do love you that way."
The phone is quiet. She doesn't want to talk about this anymore. Neither do I. I just want to move past it.
"Can I come over?" I ask.
"Yeah but I was just about to leave. Dave's here. He and my mom are, well, you know."
"Why don't I pick you up and we'll go somewhere? Did you have breakfast?"
"No. We're out of food."
"Then I'll take you out. Anywhere you want to go. It's on me. In fact, it's on me for the rest of the summer as payback for being an ass."
"You're not paying all summer, but I'll let you get breakfast. See you in a few minutes."
Dropping my phone on the bed, I quickly get what I need for work and stuff it in my bag, then change into a different shirt.
"Leaving already?" Brad says as I come down the hall. He's in the living room watching TV while lifting weights. The guy is always working out, which explains why he looks that way. I'd love to have muscles like that, but I'm not willing to put in that much time at the gym. I bought a set of dumbbells so I could work out at home, but I've only used them a few times. Brad's used them more this past week than I have since I bought them two years ago.
"I'm going over to Riley's," I tell him.
He smiles as he does bicep curls. "About time."
"Yeah." I walk over to him. "Hey, about what happened earlier. Sorry I acted that way. I was just tired and angry and—"
"Don't worry about it." He lowers the weights by his sides. "It's good you're going to see her. I hope you guys can work things out."
"We will. We always do. I can't stay mad at Riley. Never could."
"I can see why. She's a good friend."
"Speaking of that, forget all that stuff I said about you going to see Riley last night. You had every right to go over there. She's your friend too, and she needed someone to talk to. Thanks for being there for her."
"No problem."
I look away, then back at him. "You know, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you."
"I know you are." He smiles. "Go see Riley. Take her to breakfast. The girl never eats."
"Because they never have any food. And I already told her I'd take her to breakfast, but I need to get going or I'll be late."
"Yeah, see ya."
When I get to Riley's place, I find her waiting just inside the door.
"Let's go," she whispers, pushing me aside as she races past me.
"That bad, huh?" I ask, catching up to her. "Are they doing it on the couch?"
She doesn't answer as she opens the back door and tosses her backpack on the seat.
"Riley, hold on." I take hold of her arm and pull her into a hug. "I'm sorry."
"Me too," she whispers, hugging me tight.
"You didn't do anything. It was all me. I shouldn't have assumed you'd feel the same way.
And I shouldn't have reacted that way when you told me how you felt."
"You scared me, Nate."
"Scared you?" I pull back to see her face. "How did I scare you?"
"I thought you'd never talk to me again. I thought you were ending our friendship."
"Never." I pull her back into a hug, realizing how stupid I was to push away my best friend just because she didn't react the way I wanted her to. "We'll always be friends, Riley."
She squeezes me tight, then lets me go and smiles. "Still taking me to breakfast?"
"Just pick the place."
"Hmm." She bites her lip. "I'd really love some French toast."
"So Linny's on Main." I open the car door for her.
"You sure? That place is expensive."
"They have the best French toast. And you deserve the best for putting up with me."
When we're both in the car, Riley pulls her seatbelt on, then lets out a breath. "My mom's drunk. Like really drunk. That's why I wanted to get out of there."
Charlene's an alcoholic. She refuses to call herself that but admits she sometimes has a problem, like when she disappeared after being so drunk she couldn't find her way home. Riley was sure someone had murdered her. She was so upset I flew home from college to be with her. We told the cops, who searched the area but couldn't find Charlene. They told us she probably just took off without telling anyone. The cops know Charlene from years of her being involved in domestic disputes with her boyfriends. She's also been charged with petty theft, indecent exposure, and public intoxication.
After being gone for days, Charlene finally showed up at the trailer, acting like nothing was wrong. I wanted to strangle her for worrying Riley like that, not to mention the fact that Riley missed three days of work and I had to spend $1000 on a last-minute plane ticket.
"Is Dave drunk too?" I ask.
"No. That's why I'm okay leaving her. Dave's actually one of her better boyfriends. He won't let her do something stupid, like try to drive when she's drunk."
"Do you know why she was drinking?"
"She said it was for her and Dave's one-month anniversary." Riley stares out the window as I turn out of the trailer park. "This is why she'll never quit. She always finds an excuse to drink."
"You haven't been giving her money, have you?" I turn right, heading downtown.
Better If He Goes (Always You Book 1) Page 11
