"Riley, what's wrong?" Brad asks.
"We're not supposed to do this."
He sighs, looking down and shaking his head. "I know what you're thinking. I'm thinking it too. Believe me, Riley, the last thing I want to do is hurt Nate, but I didn't expect this to happen. I didn't expect to meet you and feel this way. I'm sure you didn't expect to feel this way either."
"I didn't. Not at all."
"But now we do, and I don't know about you, but I don't want to cut off any chance of seeing where this could go just because it might upset Nate."
"It's not might. It will upset him. He made it clear we're not supposed to date."
"He told you that?"
"Just now. Before you got here. He called to tell me that Tara asked him out for tonight and he wanted to know if I was okay with it."
"Why wouldn't you be?"
"He thought it might be weird for me because I know Tara and went to high school with her. I told him I was fine with it and then he said he wouldn't be fine if I dated someone he knew. He said it'd be even worse if I dated you."
Brad nods. "So he senses there's something between us."
"What? No. Why would you think that?"
"He told you that to stop you from even thinking about dating me. He's trying to stop it before it starts, which really pisses me off."
"Why? You knew he wouldn't want this. You're his cousin."
"Yeah, so he should want me to be happy, not just think about himself. It'd be another story if you were dating him and I came along and stole you away, but you've made it clear you're not interested in him that way. And yet he still thinks he can tell you who you can date?" He shakes his head. "That's bullshit."
"Brad, that's not fair. Think of where he's coming from. He's known me forever. He thought I loved him. He had this whole idea in his head that he and I would get married and have kids someday. Then you come into the picture and I immediately fall for you? Of course that's going to upset him."
"Yeah, I get it. But it still doesn't make it right. If we want to go out, we should be able to."
"Which we're doing, but we might have to keep it a secret from Nate. Would you be okay with that?"
"I'd rather just tell him the truth. It won't be any easier for him to find out later."
"It will if he's found someone else by then, like maybe Tara."
"If that's what you want to do, I'll go along with it." He steps up to me. "Whatever it takes to keep seeing you, Riley." He leans down and kisses me, then looks in my eyes. "I don't want to just be friends. I know we keep saying that's all we are, but I think we can both agree we've already passed that stage."
I look down. "I'm so afraid I'm going to hurt Nate even more. If he finds out—"
"Nate's a grown man. He'll be fine. But if you want to hide this from him until some time has passed, then that's what we'll do."
My phone dings. "That's probably him." I check my phone and see his text. "He told her yes. He's going out with Tara."
"That's a good sign. It means he's starting to move on."
"I still don't want to tell him."
"Then we won't." Brad walks to the door. "C'mon. Let's get this date started."
"So we're dating." I smile as I go past him. "I'm dating a future doctor."
He chuckles. "Is that the only reason you're interested in me?"
"Nah. It's more about the football thing. I've always wanted to date a football player."
He opens my door. "Really?"
I laugh. "I'm kidding. I've never dated a jock. Never wanted to. Well, until now."
He gives me a kiss. "I also played baseball, but just for two years."
Hot, a talented athlete, and smart. Guys like him are never interested in me, and when one finally is, he's Nate's cousin. Just my luck. But if Nate and Tara start dating, maybe Nate will be okay with me dating Brad.
"Where are we going?" I ask as we're driving.
"The movies. It's too early for dinner."
"What are we going to see?"
"That spy movie you keep talking about."
"I can't see that one. I have to wait for Nate. It's the deal we made."
"He can't ban you from seeing a movie. That's ridiculous. I can't believe you even agreed to that, especially since he's been away at college for four years. How many movies did you actually see together all those years?"
"I don't know. Not many, and they were all in the summer. We never had time to go when he was home on winter break."
"So you missed out on all the movies you wanted to see because of some stupid rule Nate made up after you spoiled the ending of a movie one time?"
"When you say it that way, it does sound ridiculous. Okay, I'll go to the movie, but don't tell Nate."
Brad glances at me as we wait at an intersection. "Why are you so afraid of him?"
"Nate? I'm not afraid of him."
"You're afraid to upset him, but why?"
"I guess because I don't want to lose him. He's my best friend. He's always been there for me. Other friends have come and gone, but Nate's stuck around. I guess I feel like I owe him for that."
"You don't owe him for being your friend. Friendship shouldn't come with strings."
"I know, but..."
"But what?" He drives forward as the light turns green.
"My mom. My life." I pause. "Not many people want to be friends with someone like me."
"What the hell's that supposed to mean?" he asks, sounding angry.
"I live in a trailer. My mom's a mess. Did I tell you about the time she passed out drunk at my school on parents' night?" I roll my eyes. "And how she almost had an affair with my principal?"
"And because of that, you don't deserve friends?"
"I deserve them. I just can't seem to keep them. Once they see where I live and meet my mom, they don't want to be friends anymore."
"That's bullshit. None of that should matter. This isn't exactly a wealthy town. A lot of the houses around here aren't any better than your trailer."
"It's not just that. It's other stuff too."
"Like what?" He pulls into the movie theater parking lot.
"I've lived here my whole life, and it's not a big town. People here gossip and they're always spreading rumors. When someone new moves in, you don't get a chance to tell them who you are because someone else will tell them for you. Even if what they say about you is wrong, people believe the rumors. Except Nate. When he moved to town, he gave me a chance. He ignored what people said about me and actually got to know me. The real me. That's how we got to be friends."
Brad parks and turns to face me. "So what are these rumors? What do people say about you?"
"That I'm like my mom. That I drink too much. Don't pay my bills. Sleep around. I'm surprised you haven't heard all this by now."
"I haven't, but even if I did, I don't listen to that shit."
"Most people do, especially in a small town."
"I'm from a big city and it's no different. People talk. That's just how it is."
"But they don't talk about you. You're from a good family. A rich family. There's nothing bad to say."
He laughs. "Are you kidding? People with money are even worse. You should hear my mom's friends at the country club. They're constantly gossiping. They even say shit about us when they're at our house, with my mom in the other room. I've learned to just tune it out."
"What do they say?"
"Doesn't matter." He checks his phone. "We need to get in there. The movie starts in five minutes."
We go inside and get the tickets. Brad holds my hand as we go in the theater. I look around to see if there's anyone here I know. If they see me with Brad, they might tell Nate.
"Let's go to the top," I say, taking my hand from Brad's and racing up the steps to the top row of the theater.
"Hiding?" he asks as he sits beside me.
"No, I just like the back row."
The lights dim and he leans over to me. "We're on a date. And I want
to hold your hand." He reaches over and takes my hand.
My nerves relax as he slides his fingers between mine. The feel of his hand linked with mine makes me forget about who might see us and focus on the fact that I'm on a date. With Brad, the guy I've been dreaming about since I met him. I don't know why he likes me so much. We have almost nothing in common. He's rich. I'm poor. He's smart. I barely made it through school. He comes from a good family. I have a mom who acts like a teenager. He's popular. I hardly have any friends. So why me?
Chapter Fourteen
Riley
After the movie, we go to dinner at a place I've never been. It's new, but also expensive, so not a place I'd ever go.
"This okay?" Brad asks as we're waiting to be seated. "Giada went here last week and said it was good. I wanted to try it."
"It's great!" I say, looking at the sleek design and modern decor. It's a nice place but doesn't really fit in this town, which has mostly breweries and barbecue joints.
"Right this way," the hostess says, smiling at Brad. With her flawless makeup and perfect hair, she looks like the type of girl I'd picture Brad dating. Not that I don't look nice tonight, but this girl seems sophisticated, something I'm definitely not.
As we sit down, I look around the restaurant.
Brad sighs. "Are you going to do this everywhere we go?"
"Do what?"
"Look for Nate, or anyone who knows him and would tell him we're going out."
"Maybe." I pick up my menu. "It's just until I know he's going to be okay."
"Riley, it could be months before he's over you. Maybe longer. You can't stop living your life because of Nate."
"I'm not." I smile. "This is proof. I'm on a date. With Nate's cousin." My smile falls as guilt comes over me. I set my menu down. "Maybe we shouldn't be doing this."
"Riley, c'mon. We already agreed to at least try this. And so far, you're having fun, right?"
"Yes."
"So stop denying yourself what you want just because of Nate. He'll get over this, Riley. I promise you, he will." He hands me my menu. "Now can we continue our night without you looking everywhere but at me?"
I smile, lifting my eyes to his. "Sorry."
"Hey." He reaches over for my hand. "I understand. I don't want to hurt Nate, either, but we're not doing anything wrong here. You're single, and you were never interested in dating Nate. He needs to accept you're going to date other guys."
"Which he will, but I don't think he'll ever be okay with me dating you."
"Which isn't fair. You should be able to date whoever you want."
"I guess I just feel bad that I might hurt Nate for something that's not even going to last. I mean, this could turn out to be nothing more than a few dates."
"I'd like more than a few," Brad says, rubbing my hand as he gazes at me.
"I would too, but it still ends when you leave."
He doesn't disagree, which makes the happiness I was feeling about tonight fizzle out. I know our time is limited, but I've been trying not to think about it.
He lets go of my hand and looks at his menu. "I think I'm getting the steak. How about you?"
"I still need to decide." I pick up my menu.
After we order, I find myself looking around again.
Brad nudges my foot under the table. "I'm over here."
I sigh and look back at him. "Sorry. Bad habit."
"Anything I could do to help? I could take my shirt off," he says, trying not to laugh.
"Why would that help?"
"You seem to have trouble looking away when I'm not wearing a shirt."
"I don't stare, if that's what you're implying."
"You do." He smiles. "But I like it. Stare all you want. I don't mind."
I review the menu again. "I don't stare."
"You do."
"I'm having the bicep burger."
"Bicep?" he says, laughing.
"I mean bison." I set my menu down. "You knew what I meant."
"So you like my biceps, huh?"
My eyes dart to his arms. "They're okay."
"Good enough to eat?" he kids.
"Okay, stop. I didn't mean to say that."
We both start laughing. I don't know why, but when Brad teases me it's funny, and when Nate does it, it's not. Nate's teasing always seems like he's criticizing me, pointing out my flaws.
When our laughing dies down, Brad reaches over and holds my hand. "I'm having a really good time tonight."
"Me too."
"I don't want to just take you home after this. Is there anything else you want to do? Maybe go somewhere and get a drink?"
"I think I'd rather just go home. It's been a long day."
"Yeah. Okay." He seems disappointed.
"No, wait! I meant with you. I was inviting you over." I roll my eyes. "God, I'm so bad at dating. I always say the wrong thing. Anyway, do you want to come over?"
"I do, but isn't it going to be kind of crowded with your mom there with her boyfriend?"
"They won't be there. She's staying at Dave's tonight."
"So we'll be alone," he says slowly.
"Yeah." I see the hesitation on his face. "Oh, I'm not implying anything. I was just thinking we could watch TV. Or talk." As soon as I say it, I see an image of us making out on the couch. "On second thought, maybe that's a bad idea. We kind of have a hard time, um..."
"Controlling ourselves."
"Yeah." I bite my lip. "Maybe you should just drop me off."
"Riley." He gives my hand a squeeze and waits for our eyes to meet. "Despite what's happened before, I can keep it from happening again. If you just want to talk or watch TV, I'm good with that. I just don't want the night to end yet."
"It's not really you I'm worried about," I mutter.
He smiles. "Are you saying you can't resist me?"
"Maybe." I smile back.
"I can't resist you either, but I'll force myself to if it means I get to spend more time with you."
"Can I take your order?" the waiter asks, interrupting a perfect moment. Sometimes waiters have the worst timing.
We order, and when the waiter's gone, I say to Brad, "Can I ask you something?"
"Go ahead."
"Why do you like me so much?"
His brows draw together. "That's an odd question."
"Not really. You and I have almost nothing in common. You're a way better fit with someone like Giada. She's smart. Beautiful. Sophisticated. And she's going to be really successful someday, just like you. You two are perfect for each other."
"But I'm not attracted to her like I am to you."
"So it's an appearance thing. You like me for how I look."
"That's part of it, but it's more than that."
"Like what?"
"How I feel when I'm with you. I can relax around you. With Giada, I felt like I was on a job interview. All we did was talk about college and applying to grad schools, and then she started telling me her five-year plan. I just wanted to go out and have fun, but she couldn't seem to do that."
"Really? She's not that way around me. I've never gone out with her, but she seems like she'd be fun."
"Maybe she is with her girlfriends, but on a date, she's all business, like she's husband shopping. I get that a lot when I go out with girls."
"I'm not husband shopping. I'm just looking to have fun." I cringe. "That sounded bad. I didn't mean fun as in—"
"Yeah, I get it." He smiles. "That's an example of why I like you so much. You're funny. Sweet. Kind. You care about people."
"How do you know?"
"Because I watch you. I see you with the kids at the pool. When they're upset or hurt, they always go straight to you over anyone else."
I shrug. "Probably because I've worked there so long. They know me by now."
"They go to you because they know you'll listen to them and take care of them. You'd make a good doctor."
I laugh. "Yeah, that's not happening. I barely passed chemistry."
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"And the way you take care of your mom. You have a big heart, Riley. I just wish you'd do more for yourself. It's nice that you put others first, but not if it's keeping you from living your life."
"I don't see it that way. I mean, you can't really miss out on something you could never have."
"What do you mean?"
"Living in this town? Working two or three jobs? That's my life. I don't really have much of a future."
"You can change that."
"How? Is some magic fairy going to wave her wand and give me a new life?"
"What do you want, Riley? If you could have anything, what would you want?"
"I don't know. Let's talk about something else."
"No, really. Answer me. What's your dream?"
"I don't have one."
"Everyone does. So what's yours?"
"You tell me first."
He sits back. "I want to be a doctor, preferably at a small clinic rather than a big hospital. And general medicine. I don't want to specialize. I'm not going to school for twenty more years. I want a wife who loves me, maybe a kid or two, and a house in a place that's warm but not as hot as Arizona. By a lake would be nice."
"Sounds like a good life."
He pauses. "You know you're the first person who's said that to me?"
"Said what?"
"That it's a good life. Everyone else seems disappointed. Like I should want more."
"Like what?"
"Expensive cars. A mansion. Trips around the world. And everyone thinks I should specialize. They say I'll make more money."
"What about your parents? Do they say that stuff too?"
"They're the worst. They're constantly pressuring me to do more. It never seems to be enough. This summer my dad wanted me to stay home and work for his friend. The guy's a plastic surgeon who makes millions a year doing breast enhancements for famous people. My dad was furious when I told him I was coming here to lifeguard. So was my mom. But I don't care. It's my life, not theirs."
"You came here so you wouldn't have to work for that guy?"
"That was only part of the reason," he mutters.
"Nate kind of told me what was going on."
Brad nods. "I figured he had. I don't care that you know, but I'd rather not talk about it. Not right now."
Better If He Goes (Always You Book 1) Page 14
