"He really wanted to go there. And he paid so..."
"He paid?" I pause, an uneasiness coming over me. "For the movie too?"
"I told him not to, but he insisted. I think he felt sorry for me."
I relax. "Yeah, that sounds like Brad. It's not so much he feels sorry for you. He's just really generous. And he has the money to do it, so you might as well let him pay."
"How about you? How was your date?"
"It was okay. I think Tara had more fun than I did."
"Why? What happened?"
"She had a little too much to drink. She started dancing next to the table, then she got kind of aggressive."
"Aggressive?"
"Kissing me. Putting her hands all over me. And then she tried to get me to go home with her."
"But you didn't?"
"Riley, you know I don't have sex on the first date. Third, maybe, but not the first."
"You have sex on the third date?"
"I'm joking," I tell her, but truthfully, the answer is yes. I've done it on a third date. "So what do you want to do today?"
"Oh. I didn't think we were hanging out. I thought this cool-off period was going to last longer."
"You don't want to hang out?"
"I can't. I have too much to do. My mom made a mess and I need to clean up."
"Make her do it. She made the mess. She can clean it up."
"Nate, don't start. You know she won't clean. This place would be disgusting if it weren't for me."
"Which is why you need to get out of there."
"If you're just going to lecture me, I'm hanging up."
"Why are you getting so angry? We always talk about this."
"Yeah, and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of you telling me what to do."
"Riley, what the hell? Why are you acting like this?"
"I just don't want you lecturing me anymore or telling me what to do. You're supposed to be my friend, not my boss."
"Fine, forget I said anything."
There's something different about her today. She never talks to me like this and almost never raises her voice like she did just now.
"Nate, I need to go. I have a ton of stuff to get done."
"Okay, bye."
She must be in a bad mood. I'll call her later.
I get up and go in the kitchen. Brad is there, making a sandwich.
"You just get up?" he asks.
"Yeah," I mutter, opening the fridge.
"Late night?"
"Not as late as yours." I grab the orange juice and shut the fridge door.
Brad walks around to the other side of the counter with his sandwich.
I stand across from him. "You're not going to say anything?"
"About what?" He takes a bite of his sandwich.
"About why the hell you were out so late."
"Why do you care? Last I knew I didn't I have a curfew." He reaches across the counter and grabs an apple from the bowl and takes a bite.
"I was worried about Riley. She never stays out that late. I thought something happened."
"Why were you worried? She was with me."
"You should've been home by nine or ten." I take a glass from the cupboard. "She said you guys went to dinner and a movie. If that's all you did, why'd you get home so late?"
"We went to her place and watched TV. I wasn't paying attention to the time. I didn't know you were waiting up for me," he says, sounding annoyed.
"You could've at least texted and told me you were there," I say, my anger rising.
"I'm not going to tell where I go and when. I moved out of my parents' house to get away from that shit." He finishes his sandwich and takes the plate to the sink. "So what happened with you? The date didn't go well?"
"It went okay. At least I took her home at a reasonable hour."
He chuckles. "And you get to define 'reasonable' for the rest of us?" He pats my shoulder. "Sorry, man, I know it's your house, but I'm not under your rules." He takes what's left of his apple and walks back to his room.
Sometimes he really annoys me. Like just now, he could've just told me what they did last night, but instead he makes it all mysterious. I shouldn't have to ask twenty questions to find out why he got home so late. Why didn't Riley tell me they went to her place?
After breakfast, as I'm cleaning up, Brad appears again, wearing shorts and a t-shirt.
"I'm heading out," he says.
"Where are you going?"
"On a run." He walks to the garage.
"You're driving?"
He turns back. "What's with all the questions? Last I heard, I was free to come and go."
"You are. I just wondered why you're driving somewhere to run."
"I wanted to run on a trail, not sidewalks." He turns to leave.
Just minutes ago I was pissed at him, but I'm over it now and would rather be hanging out with my cousin than alone in my room. I'm feeling sad about Riley and could use some company, and maybe some advice.
"Wait!" I race up to him. "Would you mind if I went with you?"
"You don't run."
"Sometimes I do. And I've been wanting to get in better shape."
He looks to the side, then back at me. "How about some other time? I don't want to wait for you to get ready."
"It'll only take me a few minutes. All I have to do is change."
He sighs. "Hurry up."
As I walk off, I turn back and see him texting someone on his phone. Was he planning to run with someone else? Is that why he was driving? To meet this person? I can't think of anyone he knows here who runs. None of the other lifeguards do.
When I go out to the garage, I see Brad's not in his car but in the driveway.
"I thought we were leaving," I say, meeting up with him.
"I decided to stay around here."
"Were you planning to meet someone?"
"No. Why?"
"I saw you texting someone."
He turns to me. "Okay, seriously, what the hell is your problem?"
"What?"
"Why are you spying on me?"
"I'm not spying on you."
"Monitoring what I'm doing. Where I'm going. What time I get home. Who I'm out with. What the hell?"
He's right. I AM doing those things. I'm worse than my mom.
"Sorry." I shake my head. "I didn't even realize I was doing it."
"You've been doing it a lot and I need you to stop."
"Got it." I pause. "So can I see your phone?" I laugh.
He smiles. "You're getting an extra mile for that."
"Extra mile? How many are we going?"
"Seven or eight." He twists side-to-side, then stretches his arms out.
"I'll be lucky if I make it three."
"You sure you want to do this?"
"No. I just don't want to be alone right now. The whole Riley thing is really bothering me."
"I thought you were feeling better about it."
"I was, but then I didn't see her last night and I missed her."
He nods. "Forget the run. Let's just walk and talk. Sound good?"
"Yeah." I hit the button to shut the garage and we head to the sidewalk.
Brad is taller than me and walks really fast. Keeping up with him feels like I'm running.
"So you missed her," he says.
"Yeah, and then being out with Tara...it's not like we didn't have a good time. It's just that Tara isn't Riley. Every time I'm with another girl, it makes me realize how perfect Riley is."
"Nobody's perfect."
"But she's perfect for me. Other girls just don't seem to get me."
"Maybe because you're not giving them a chance. If you're putting on some fake act to impress a girl, she's not seeing the real you. Riley gets you because she's known you so long and you're not trying to impress her."
"I wasn't trying to impress Tara last night. She's a friend. I've known her since high school."
"You went on one date. Give her another chance. Call her up and see
if she wants to go out again."
"Why bother? I'm only here a few months, not even that if I get a job."
"Doesn't mean you can't date. You never know what'll happen. You could fall in love with Tara and find a way to make it work."
"I can't fall in love with Tara—or any girl—when I'm still in love with Riley. I shouldn't even be dating right now."
"Dating will help you get over Riley. If anything, you should be dating more, not less." He turns down a trail that goes behind some houses.
"Did she talk about me last night?"
"Riley? Yeah, a little."
"What'd she say?"
"She feels bad that you're hurt over what happened."
"But she hasn't changed her mind?"
"Nate, people don't change their minds about something like that. You either love someone or you don't. The heart decides that, not the mind."
"I just don't get it. I know she cares about me, so why doesn't she love me?"
"The best advice I can give you is to just accept it and move on."
"It's not that easy. I can't make myself not love her when my heart already does."
"It'll just take some time. Maybe it would help if you didn't see her so much. Being around her has gotta be hard."
"It is, but this is our last summer together. I have to spend time with her. And I want to. After I move away, I don't know when I'll get back here to see her." I check my phone. Usually by now Riley would text me a funny picture or ask what I'm doing, but she hasn't texted me at all today. "I'm starting to think I ruined things between us."
"How so?"
"Ever since I told her how I felt, she hasn't been the same. She doesn't text, doesn't call. She acts like she doesn't want to see me anymore. This morning I called her and asked if she wanted to go do something and she turned me down. That's the first time that's ever happened. She's always desperate to get out of that trailer and away from her mom."
"Her mom's not home."
"How do you know she's not home?"
"Her mom spent last night at her boyfriend's place. She's probably still there."
"Wait." I stop walking. "So it was just the two of you last night?"
"Yeah. Why? Is that a problem?"
I'm annoyed they were alone together, but it's only because I'm jealous. I wanted it to be me there with Riley last night, even if I was just there as a friend. What if she shuts me out and replaces me with Brad? I could see it happening. They get along well.
"She likes you," I say as we continue walking.
"Riley?"
"Yeah. Makes sense. You're easy to talk to and she's comfortable with you. She's usually nervous around new people, but I think because we're related, she felt comfortable with you right away."
He walks faster, making me quicken my pace to keep up.
"I'm afraid she's going to replace me with you."
"Replace you?" He laughs. "I don't think so. You guys have a long history."
"But things have changed. She feels awkward around me now. She obviously needed someone to talk to last night, but instead of calling me, she went to you. That's why she invited you over."
"You were on a date. She knew that. And you told her not to call you."
"I guess." I shrug. "I don't know. Maybe Riley and I are done. Maybe we shouldn't be friends anymore."
"That's up to you guys to decide, but I don't think Riley wants that."
"I don't either. I just don't know where to go from here. I feel like I fucked everything up."
"Just give it time." He points to my house. "You done, or you want to keep going?"
"I'm done. You can go on your run if you want."
"Okay. See ya later."
I go in the house to my room and call up Riley.
"Me again," I say when she answers.
"Yeah? What's up?"
"I know things are off between us and I want to fix it. Any ideas?"
"I think it's too soon for that. You said we need time apart and I think you're right."
"Riley, this is our last summer together. We can't waste it fighting with each other."
"We're not fighting. It's just hard to be around you when you're angry at me."
"I'm not angry."
"You are. You're trying to pretend you're not, but I can feel it whenever I'm around you. And you still look at me that way."
"What way?"
"Like you're in love with me. I didn't see it before, but now I do, and it's hard to be around you when you look at me that way. I feel like I'm just making things harder. Hurting you even more."
It does hurt to be around her, knowing I love her but can't have her, but what do I do? I can't avoid her all summer. I want to spend time with her, as much time as I can before I move away.
"Nate, I need more time. Even if you don't, I do. I can't be around you right now."
"Okay," I say, a sadness coming over me. I feel like she's ending our friendship and it's all my fault. I really screwed this up.
"Talk later?"
"Yeah. Bye."
I take a shower, then go out to the living room and try to find something to watch on TV. The pool is closed on Sundays, but I wish it was open so I'd have something to do. I should search for jobs, but I don't feel like it. I don't feel like doing anything right now.
"Hey." Brad walks in, sweaty from his run. He heads straight for his room.
"Brad?" I yell from the couch.
"What?" he yells back.
"Could you do me a favor?"
He walks back to the living room. "What?"
"Would you go over to Riley's?"
"Why?"
"I need you to talk to her. Find out if she still wants to be friends with me or if she's trying to figure out a way to let me go."
He lifts his t-shirt up, using it to wipe the sweat off his face. "Nate, I don't want to get in the middle of this."
"Too late. You're already in it. Riley trusts you. She'll open up to you."
"Why don't you just talk to her yourself?"
"Because she won't answer my questions. Not honestly. You know Riley. She'll try to protect my feelings."
"Then she won't tell me anything either. She'll know I'll come back and tell you whatever she said."
"But it's easier to say it to someone else than to me. Would you please just do this for me? Take her to lunch, or an early dinner. It's on me."
He sighs. "Fine, but I'm not making any promises. If she doesn't want to talk, I'm not going to push it. And I'm not promising I'll tell you what she says."
"That's better than nothing." I get up. "I'll go grab some money."
"Forget it. I got it. I need to go shower." He takes off for his room.
I hope Riley agrees to let him come over. She said she's busy, but I think that was just an excuse to keep me away. I'll know for sure if she lets Brad see her. He'll get her to talk. He can get most anyone to talk. That's just his personality.
I shouldn't use my cousin like this, but I'm desperate. I need to know what Riley's thinking.
Chapter Sixteen
Riley
Brad's name lights up my phone and I instantly smile as I answer the call. "Hey!"
"Hey. Question for you."
"Yeah?"
"Will go you out with me?"
"On a date?" I ask in a flirty tone.
I really want to see him again, and this time I want to do the stuff we didn't do last night. After he left, I fell asleep and had a dream where Brad was my extremely sexy lifeguard who rescued me from the pool and gave me mouth-to-mouth, which was followed by his mouth going other places. It ended with me waking up hot and bothered and dying to see him again.
"Not sure if Nate would call it that," Brad says.
"Nate?"
"He asked me to go out with you today. He even offered to pay."
"Wait—what? Why?"
"He wants me to get you to tell me what's going on with you and him."
"I already told him when he called me e
arlier."
"Apparently he doesn't believe you. He wants me to see if you'll tell me more."
I roll my eyes. "That's so Nate. Whenever he doesn't like my answer, he keeps pushing until he gets the answer he wants."
"So can I come over? This may be one of the few chances we have to be together without having to hide it from Nate."
"I have a friend here cutting my hair, but we're almost done. You could head over soon."
"Okay, see ya."
"Who was that?" April asks as she grabs the scissors. She does my hair instead of my mom because April cuts it the way I want it. When my mom used to do it, she'd cut it the way she wants, which would end with us fighting and me hating my hair until it grew out again.
"A guy," I tell her, purposely being vague.
"You're not going to tell me?"
"I'm trying to keep it a secret."
"I won't tell Nate," she says, snipping the long layers around my face. "I promise."
April knows about Nate telling me he loves me. I told her the next day at work. She wasn't surprised. She said everyone knew he loved me except me. I still don't know how that's possible.
"Is it someone I know?" she asks.
"You've met him."
"So it's someone who goes to the salon."
"He only went one time. You were the one who cut his hair."
She stops snipping and her eyes widen. "You're not talking about Nate's cousin, are you?"
I cringe. "Maybe?"
"Riley!" She slaps my arm. "Are you insane?"
"I know, it's bad. But Brad's the best guy I've ever gone out with. He's nice, easy to talk to, and he actually listens to what I'm saying. And the way he kisses?" I sigh, dreamily.
"Riley, you cannot date Nate's cousin!"
"I'm not. I mean, technically we went on one date, but it was just dinner and a movie."
She eyes me. "Did you have sex with him?"
"No! We kissed. That's it."
"So it's not happening again."
"Um, it might. But I'm not telling Nate, and neither is Brad. We agreed to keep this from Nate until some time has passed."
"Riley, you can't tell Nate this. Not EVER. The guy loves you. He wanted to marry you. He is never going to be okay with you dating his cousin."
"For the record, he didn't ask me to marry him. And Nate and I never dated, so why is this so wrong? I made it clear to Nate that I didn't have feelings for him, but because he has feelings for me, I'm not allowed to date anyone?"
Better If He Goes (Always You Book 1) Page 16
