As they made their way to the semi-private bench, Keshara said, “Reede was treated today by Dr. Garrison at the hospital. She operated, made sure his bone will mend straight and also did her best to clean up the damage the Khagrish caused to his thigh tissue and bone marrow.” She glanced at Fallyn. “I understand we have you to thank for alerting Timtur and Aydarr to the fact Reede was concealing his problem.”
“So the damn lab tech did mess him up.” Fallyn clenched her fists and wished Reede had been less principled about killing the Khagrishi the first time he had the chance. “I knew it. Will he be all right?” She was confused why Keshara was the one talking to her about this, rather than Timtur.
“Dr. Garrison could only do so much. Human medicine has definite limits when it comes to Badari. Now it’s up to Timtur and me, with the grace of the Great Mother, to attempt a complete healing.” Keshara glanced at the sky where the first stars were becoming visible in the rapidly darkening sky. “Tonight, at the stone circle. I think you should be there.”
Startled, Fallyn asked, “Does Reede want me to be there?”
“No.” Keshara touched Fallyn’s arm in a comforting gesture as she blinked and flinched, hurt. “And yes. Men are so stubborn. I had no idea before meeting Gabe and coming here—the lab where my sisters and I were formed held only Badari women. We had no pack structure established and no idea what our brethren were enduring in the lab where they were created. I understand why Reede made certain choices, based on his role in the pack but I don’t have to agree with the situation.”
As usual with the Badari when they veered off into discussion of pack matters, Fallyn found herself a bit confused. “But you’re an Alpha, so you must have had at least a rudimentary hierarchy established.”
Laughing, Keshara shook her head. “You’ve met Aydarr?”
Fallyn nodded.
“Do I seem like an Alpha to you? After spending even a moment in his presence? No, it was felt my group of Badari women should adopt the guise of being a pack to smooth our entry into Aydarr’s pack. Gabe, who can be extremely persuasive, and an excellent tactical thinker, convinced me the status would be advantageous and Aydarr graciously concurred. I’m no more an Alpha than you are, no offense, and I don’t pretend to be, but I was the unofficial leader for my sisters so, here we are. At any rate, I find some of the things the men do are rather incomprehensible but I try not to judge because they and the men who came before them endured so much pain and sorrow.” Her generous lips were downturned and her face was shadowed, as if sharing the sadness of the earlier generations of Badari. “Their survival was hard won.” Now Keshara took a deep breath and she did sound like an Alpha might. “But I put my foot down on occasion and tonight is an example. I don’t know why you and Reede chose not to become mates, it’s none of my business, but the fact is you have a close tie to each other or you wouldn’t catch his reflected pain. I insisted you should be included at the healing ritual tonight for two reasons.”
Unable to decide if she should be grateful to Keshara for including her or worry about Reede not wanting her there, Fallyn stalled. “And those reasons would be?”
“If we’re healing him, we’re healing you in a sense and you need to be there.” She gave Fallyn a conspiratorial wink. “That was my official reason and because I’m a healer and therefore close to the goddess, the hard headed males acquiesced, even Reede. My second reason is a nagging intuition I have you should be there because the Great Mother hoped the two of you would be a pair. Based on what I’ve seen of you and of Reede, I think your presence is necessary for the healing to be successful. If you had claimed each other, you’d absolutely be there, you know.”
“I—I don’t know what to say.” Fallyn left the bench and walked a few steps closer to the lake, thinking hard. “I’ll do anything to help him and I’d like to be there, you’re right, but not if Reede will be uncomfortable.” She spread her hands helplessly. “I don’t begin to understand this entire mate situation and all the meanings it obviously has in Badari culture.”
“Certain aspects of the mate bond appear to be inherent in the ancestral memory created by the DNA used to create us,” Keshara said. “But there’s no doubt the state of being a claimed mate is a gift from the goddess. Gabe and I can attest to that truth.” Head tilted, eyebrows raised, she studied Fallyn. “You care about Reede?”
Fallyn decided she could trust this woman with the truth. “Very much, right from when we met in the damn lab.”
“Then come with me.”
“What, now?” Fallyn looked at her clothes and boots. “I’m not dressed for a ceremony.”
Keshara rose and walked to join her. “It’s what’s inside that counts. The goddess knows your heart, and his. We’ll go now.”
Fallyn walked with Keshara as if she was in a dream. They left the part of the valley which was open to humans, going past guards who didn’t even blink at Fallyn’s presence, and proceeded deep into the forest. Fallyn heard the soft sound of a drum and then a few steps later she came into a clearing where a breathtaking circle of gigantic standing stones had been created.
“Sorry to be late,” Keshara said to those who waited.
Fallyn’s attention went immediately to Reede, who lay on an antigrav litter floating next to the central dais. Aydarr, Timtur and a younger Badari male stood near him. Reede met her gaze briefly, his amber eyes like molten gold with strong emotion, and then closed his eyes. The pain of the rejection spiraled through her but she tried not to take offense as she walked closer. A young Badari boy she’d met before, Yonn, an alpha-born, was gently beating an ever changing rhythm on the drum.
“This is Warne, the Generation Nine healer in the canid pack,” Keshara said, indicating the younger man. “He’s apprenticing to Timtur and myself.”
Fallyn nodded to him and received a rather curt acknowledgment in return. Clearly he wasn’t a fan of her presence tonight. Yonn continued to play the drum but gave her an encouraging smile.
“As you’re not actually part of the ritual,” Aydarr said, “I’d appreciate it if you’d sit next to Yonn, the drummer. Please don’t speak or interrupt the ceremony in any way once we’ve begin.”
“Of course not. Thank you for including me in the healing process.” Feeling as if this was all a surreal dream, she walked past Reede, forcing herself not to touch him, although her heart ached to see him so pale and drawn. She sat cross legged on the dais next to the young alpha-born and waited to see what would transpire next.
The men lifted Reede off the litter and laid him on the platform on his back. He was wearing a tee shirt and soft pants, and was barefoot. Timtur knelt on one side and Keshara took the other side, while Aydarr went to Reede’s head and the young healer took a position at his feet. Fallyn wished she’d had a briefing about what was going on. Maybe later she could ask Keshara or Timtur to explain.
The latter began to sing, his voice deep and true, the sound filling the open space of the shrine. Fallyn’s military implants refused to translate the words for her but she knew it wasn’t Badari. Maybe an even older language? Keshara joined in, singing a counterpoint. Fallyn blinked, as white-and-lavender mist crept into the area from the forest like a low flying cloud. Beside her, Yonn continued to play his drum, the rhythm matching the beating of her heart to hypnotic effect. Green light radiated from the hands of the healers, even the young man, although his was a more pale shade and flickered. She felt a wave of power from Aydarr, like static electricity touching her from head to toe, making her fine hairs stand on end, and the emerald glow of each healer increased in intensity. The Alpha put his hands on Reede’s shoulders, while the two adult healers ran their hands over their patient’s body, a few inches above his clothing. Timtur lingered on Reede’s thigh, where the injury had been inflicted on him.
Fallyn’s eyelids grew heavy. She blinked hard and shook her head, determined not to be lulled by the music wrapping itself around her and filling her head. The sensation was pleasant, comfort
ing but nothing she was used to.
The eyes of the six assembled Badari glowed bright vivid golden against the night and the mist and she couldn’t look away. Fallyn was trained as a scout not to move her body by even an inch, once she’d taken up a position but she found it impossible to remain upright. The music had become a heavy blanket, weighing her down even as it warmed her. She hoped no one minded but she had to lie down or fall. Her eyes closed and with frustration she forced them open again after taking a few deep breaths.
Adrenaline cascaded through her nervous system and she rose to her feet ready to do battle. She was no longer in the great stone circle. Now she was standing in the middle of a circle of giant trees, lush grass and flowers underfoot and blue sky above. I’m dreaming.
Are you? A gentle breeze wafted by and she heard words as the soft wind swirled through the tree branches.
She couldn’t move no matter how much she tried to shift her feet. She was also rather astounded to find herself wearing a pale green gown, flowing easily in the wind. To the left, she saw Reede standing across the circle of trees from her. From his position, he wasn’t in any pain, standing easily, hands at his sides, head high. She wanted to get his attention, to call out to him but no sound left her lips and he continued to stare straight ahead as if she didn’t exist.
The breeze sighed, lifting her hair and caressing her cheeks with a barely felt touch.
So stubborn, these Badari of mine. No fear at all of physical pain, utter terror of emotional torment. Behold what he hides in his heart.
Now Reede turned his head looking at her with such longing and the most engaging smile she’d ever seen, a breathtaking vision Fallyn had longed for in real life but never gotten from the stubborn, uptight Badari. He reached one arm toward her as if imploring her to join him.
Let me go to him, she thought, still unable to speak or move. Please!
I cannot force my children to accept love. I can only provide the opportunity for happiness and then the grasping of joy is for them to decide. And for you.
The wind became stronger, buffeting her and Fallyn closed her eyes against the force.
CHAPTER NINE
“It’s time to go,” Keshara said, shaking her shoulder with determination.
Dazed, Fallyn blinked, trying to comprehend where she was and what was going on. Hand to her forehead, she sat up. The torches had burned down and she and the healer Alpha were alone in the stone circle. “I fell asleep.”
Leaning forward eagerly the Alpha asked, ”And did you dream?”
“Green…I had a green dress on. And there were trees. And Reede was there too.” Annoyed at her own incoherence, waking up rapidly, Fallyn grabbed Keshara’s arm. “How is he? Did the ceremony work? I can’t believe I fell asleep at such an important time. What in the seven hells was wrong with me tonight?”
“Don’t be overly concerned—the Great Mother must have sent you a vision. We hoped that was the case. Reede swore he didn’t receive the blessing of a message tonight but he seemed strangely resigned to the lack. As if he truly had no expectations. Often when a powerful healing or other ceremony is performed, the celebrant encounters the goddess so his attitude struck me as odd. A Badari shouldn’t regard himself as distant from the Great Mother but I don’t know him well enough to pry.” Keshara rose and retrieved a canteen from a table behind the platform. “Timtur and I also received no special attention from the Great Mother, nor did Warne but we weren’t seeking one, merely attempting to heal.” Taking her place beside Fallyn, she said, “Drink some water and then we should be going. To answer your question, yes, Reede is fine and he walked out under his own power. I believe with the Great Mother’s help we’ve finally removed all the poison the Khagrish introduced into his bone. You both should be fine now.” She extended her hand above Fallyn’s thigh and the tips of her talons glowed ever so slightly. With a grin, she retracted her claws and the light vanished. “I’m depleted from all the effort I made tonight, but I sense no lingering issue for you either. Reede said he’d make sure the link from him to you remained tightly closed.”
“Well good. I guess.” So why did the news leave her bereft? Fallyn capped the canteen and got to her feet, stretching to work out the stiffness from lying on the unforgiving stone dais. “Life can go back to normal. Or at least what passes for normal on this planet.”
The two women walked side by side out of the shrine and along the path. “Reede didn’t want to leave you here by yourself with only me. I had to flash my talons and fangs at him to remind him I’m as much of a warrior as he is. Well, not exactly, since he’s the second enforcer but I can certainly defend myself and you.” Keshara laughed merrily. “And of course there are guards stationed in the area if we’d needed any help.”
Fallyn didn’t feel much like talking so they walked the rest of the way in companionable silence, until the point in the path where Keshara would split off to go to her residence cave while she headed for the dorm.
The Alpha touched her arm. “I’m grateful you came to this planet, by the way, not only for the greater good of my people, but selfishly as well. Your presence means my mate is no longer needed as crew for the spaceship. It’ll be you and Walt and whoever the Alpha selects from the Badari ranks as his envoy. I confess I was dreading the long separation from Gabe, so I understand how you may feel about leaving Reede, whether you ever settle the issue of being mates or not. You have my sympathy and I ‘ll pray to the Great Mother for your situation to resolve itself.”
“Thank you,” Fallyn said.
“Gabe isn’t happy about being removed from the crew.” Keshara laughed indulgently. “Oh, he didn’t want to leave me and he’s pleased we won’t be separated after all, but the sheer adventure of the mission appealed to him. He’s a proud man and relishes challenges. He doesn’t hold hard feelings though, don’t worry. See you later.” She waved and moved off along the other path.
Once Fallyn was alone, her steps slowed and she tried to think through the vision or dream of Reede and the goddess. She hadn’t learned much, except a confirmation Reede cared deeply for her. In my dream at least. Wish fulfillment maybe? But the Badari were sure she’d been communicated to by their goddess and the whole episode had been weird, starting with the way she fell asleep. The next move has to be his. And if he doesn’t lower his shield soon we’ll be out of time. Aydarr had indicated she’d be leaving soon for the hidden base, to get acquainted with the Chimmer ship and prepare to make the flight to the Sectors.
Apparently the exact composition of the crew going with her was yet to be determined. Aydarr was mulling his final decision.
Reede was relieved of his duties for the next day, which had never happened to him before in his entire life. Aydarr refused to listen to his arguments. “You need time to recover and to reflect, my friend. Take a day, one day to yourself. The pack and the war and everything else we have going on can spin for a planet’s rotation without you, I swear.” The Alpha put his hand on Reede’s shoulder companionably. “Consider it a punishment for concealing your injuries if that makes you any happier. Go fishing or take a long nap or whatever else will replenish your soul. I don’t want to see you again until tomorrow morning.”
Reede had hiked along the lake, going deep into territory where no humans and few other Badari had had time to venture. He swam, catching his lunch and grilling the fish over an open fire, and lay for a long time afterwards, gazing at the sky and thinking. Later in the strange, solitary afternoon, when he should have been drilling cubs or working out with packmates or completing assignments for Aydarr, he’d perched on a rocky ledge high above the water and let the peace fill his heart and restore the equilibrium of his thoughts.
And he wasn’t too surprised when Timtur sought him out toward sunset, climbing to the ledge with ease.
“You know full well she’s your mate, don’t you?” Without being invited to do so Timtur sat next to Reede on the rocks and launched right into his chosen topic. As the healer, he
was outside the normal dominance structure of the pack so Reede didn’t waste his breath trying to order the other to leave. “And you’re fighting the bond, refusing to claim her or allow her to claim you.”
Staring at the foaming water far below, Reede gritted his teeth and asked, “Is it so obvious?”
“It is to me.”
“And to Aydarr. He asked me the same thing, two nights ago, while we were waiting to begin the healing ceremony.” Reede resisted the urge to fidget or to flee the conversation before the healer pushed him to reveal secrets he’d rather keep hidden.
“The Alpha knows everything.” Timtur laughed. “Never try to fool him.” Studying Reede’s face although the enforcer stubbornly refused to meet his eyes, the healer persevered. “But then why do you fight it? A mate is the greatest gift a man can receive—”
Anger pushed him to interrupt the healer with a harsh rebuttal. “Not when she’s going to leave in a few short weeks and won’t set foot here again.”
Timtur’s response was mild, in keeping with his nature. The healer only demonstrated powerful emotions in battle or when his mate was threatened. “And you know this how?”
Now Reede was compelled to glare at his friend, annoyed by Timtur’s naiveté. “She’s an active duty scout in the Sectors military. She’ll be leaving with Walt and Aydarr’s chosen envoy as soon as the Chimmer ship we stole is declared ready to leave. She’ll report to her superiors, they’ll thank her, maybe enter a commendation in her file for solving the mystery of the Amarcae Seven colony’s disappearance and she’ll be on to her next assignment. In the Sectors.”
“They could assign her to the force coming here to help us.” Timtur’s voice was reasonable. He scooped up a handful of loose pebbles and threw them one by one into the lake far below. “We could request her.”
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