There was nothing fun about the scene that greeted them at the farmhouse. Ellie lay on the floor beside her telephone, doubled over in pain, with a bloodstain soaking her clothing and an ominous puddle creeping out over the linoleum.
‘Have you got shears in here?’ Jennifer was already unclipping the catches on Guy’s large medical kit. ‘We’d better get those clothes off.’
‘Who’s she?’ Ellie was clinging to Guy’s hand.
‘Her name’s Jennifer,’ Guy told her. ‘She’s an emergency specialist from Auckland.’ He squeezed her hand. ‘Thought I might need some backup so I ordered her in.’
‘I’m scared, Guy,’ Ellie sobbed. ‘I’m going to lose the baby, aren’t I?’
‘Not if we can help it.’ Jennifer handed the shears to Guy then paused to smile at Ellie. ‘How long ago did the bleeding start?’
‘Just before I rang Guy. The pains started at the same time and—ah-h!’ Another contraction made the effort to speak too great.
‘I’ll start an IV, shall I?’ Jennifer queried. ‘Ellie could do with some pain relief.’ Her glance towards the spreading puddle of blood on the floor was pointed. ‘And some fluids.’
Guy nodded, busy cutting away a pair of maternity jeans and underwear. His gloves were heavily bloodstained before he even touched his patient. ‘We’ve got a foot and leg through the cervix,’ he said seconds later.
‘What does that mean?’ Ellie cried in panic.
‘Your baby’s almost here,’ Guy responded. ‘And he’s decided to come out backwards. I’m going to find his other foot and give him a hand.’
‘But it’s too early,’ Ellie wailed.
‘Are you allergic to any drugs that you know of?’ Jennifer asked.
‘No…I don’t know…Guy, what are you doing? Ah-h!’
The need for pain relief abated as Guy eased the baby’s forearm clear of its shoulder. He grasped the baby’s ankles and swung upwards, and the second arm appeared.
‘Take a deep breath, Ellie,’ he said calmly. ‘You’re doing well. We’re almost there.’
The warning glance from Jennifer was unnecessary but Guy nodded anyway. The head of a breech delivery had to be as slow as possible to decrease risk of damage to skull membranes by sudden decompression and release.
‘Sharp scratch, Ellie.’ Jennifer had a bag of IV fluids and a giving set beside her, ready to hook up as soon as the cannula was in place. ‘Blood pressure’s 100 on 55,’ she murmured to Guy. With another glance at the blood around them, she added softly, ‘Not bad at all really.’
Guy was concentrating on his own task. He eased the baby back over Ellie’s abdomen, the tiny arms dangling as he helped the head negotiate its narrow exit. A rush of new blood loss accompanied the completion of the delivery, but Guy’s attention was still caught by the flaccid baby.
‘I’ll take him.’ Somehow Jennifer had located the suction bulb, the paediatric bag mask and a clean towel. She handed him the clips for the umbilical cord and then took the infant and placed it on the towel. She suctioned the airway and then gently inflated the baby’s lungs with the bag mask.
Ellie was struggling to sit up. ‘Oh, my God,’ she cried. ‘He’s dead, isn’t he?’
‘No.’ Jennifer’s tone was firm. ‘He’s got a pulse. It’s just not very strong yet and he’s not quite ready to breathe so I’m helping him.’
‘We’ve still got some bleeding going on here.’ Guy reached for his kit. ‘I’m going to see if we can help the placenta along with some oxytocin.’
‘Why am I bleeding?’ Ellie’s gaze was fixed on her baby in horror as Jennifer worked over it.
‘Your placenta wasn’t in a great position, as we knew. When your cervix started to dilate, part of it tore away from the lining of your uterus. You may have been in labour for a while without noticing.’
‘I had a sore back all night. I thought it was the way I was lying.’ Ellie was now looking at the blood on the floor. ‘I hope I’m not bleeding to death here,’ she said fearfully.
‘It looks a lot worse than it is,’ Guy said reassuringly. ‘It’s amazing how far a bit of blood can spread, especially on lino. I’d estimate you’ve lot about a bit more than a litre but we’ve got some extra fluid going in to replace it and the bleeding should stop as soon as the placenta is delivered and the vessels constrict. This drug I’m giving you will speed things up.’
‘I feel sick,’ Ellie moaned. ‘Have you got a pressure cuff you can put on the fluids?’ Jennifer asked.
‘Yes. I’ll get another line in, too.’
‘Good.’ Jennifer’s tone indicated satisfaction with more than Guy’s plan. ‘That’s the way, wee man,’ she said. ‘Look…he’s taken his first breath by himself! He’s pinking up already.’
Sure enough, the baby was showing signs of life finally. Guy just hoped it was soon enough for no permanent damage to have been caused by oxygen depletion. Given Jennifer’s intense efforts, it was highly unlikely and Guy was acutely aware that he couldn’t have looked after both mother and child alone. If Ellie’s longed-for baby survived this difficult birth unscathed, it would be entirely to Jennifer’s credit.
Ellie seemed to realise that as well. Wrapped in a towel, with his eyes open, the tiny boy was in his mother’s arms only minutes later as Jennifer helped Ellie hold her son.
‘He’s gorgeous,’ Jennifer told her. ‘And he seems fine. He’s a good weight for thirty-five weeks, too. I don’t think he’ll even need to go into an incubator.’
‘Thank you,’ Ellie sobbed. ‘Thank you so much. I don’t care what happens to me—it was the baby I was scared about.’
Jennifer and Guy cared about what happened to Ellie. With the delivery of the placenta, her haemorrhage finally slowed and stopped, but she was shocked enough to need constant monitoring, and Jennifer was clearly as pleased as Guy to see the arrival of the ambulance crew.
‘Ellie, this isn’t fair!’ The flame-haired paramedic, Maggie, was shaking her head. ‘We had an agreement. We were going to go hooning over the Crown Range with lights and sirens on at the first sign of labour.’ She bent over the bundle in Ellie’s arms. ‘Oh…’ she breathed. ‘I want one.’
‘You’ll have to get your own.’ Ellie smiled. ‘This one’s mine.’
‘And mine.’ The man who burst into the room now was white-faced and totally soaked. ‘Ellie, are you all right?’
‘She will be,’ Guy told Phil. ‘We need to get to hospital now, though. She’s lost a fair bit of blood.’
‘And the baby? Is it OK?’
‘Thanks to Dr Allen, he is,’ Ellie told him. ‘I thought he was dead.’ Tears of happiness were rolling down her cheeks. ‘She saved him for us, Phil.’
Jennifer was subjected to an appraising and then very appreciative stare.
‘I don’t know how to thank you in that case, Dr Allen,’ Phil said.
Jennifer smiled. ‘Call me Jenna. And I was more than happy to be able to help.’
Phil, Maggie and her crew partner exchanged glances and Guy found himself smiling along with them. If Jennifer had wanted to orchestrate a way of finding instant acceptance into this community, she couldn’t have come up with a better way than being instrumental in the successful delivery of a new—and long awaited—member. Absurdly, he felt proud of her. Proud of her skills with resuscitating the baby and proud that she had already won a place in the hearts of the people he lived and worked with. It was a dangerous line of thought. He didn’t want Jennifer to feel welcome here, because she wasn’t. Not as far as he was concerned.
Phil was now staring at his son. He reached out but it was to touch his wife’s head, not the baby’s. ‘Are you really OK, hon?’
The look that passed between the couple made everyone else in the room superfluous. Guy had the curious sensation of witnessing the birth of a family as Ellie and Phil bowed their heads over the baby. He swallowed hard as he glanced at Jennifer. If he could feel like this at the birth of someone else’s child, how would he f
eel when it came time for the birth of his own?
Vulnerable. That’s how he would feel. Responsible for the happiness of someone other than himself. Someone whose upbringing would be under the control of someone other than himself. It was a recipe for emotional disaster, that’s what it was.
Guy had to escape before he got sucked in any deeper.
CHAPTER NINE
‘DO YOU go in for dramatic entrances, then?’
Jennifer had to respond to the friendly grins of the Lakeview Hospital staff members. The concentration required to drive Guy’s unfamiliar vehicle in the heavy rain as she’d followed a crowded ambulance to the small emergency department of the rural hospital had been a challenge. Especially having to negotiate the ford across a tributary of the Matukituki river that seemed to have become considerably deeper since she and Guy had travelled the other way.
In her relief at ending the journey, she had totally forgotten how disreputable she must look. Her boots were soaked and covered in mud, as were the hems of both her coat and skirt. Her hair hadn’t yet dried from her time chasing the bull in the rain either, and she knew it would be hanging like old string, looking as though it hadn’t been washed for weeks.
Not that it mattered. In fact, the grin from Maggie made Jennifer feel more than welcome.
‘Last time we saw you in here, you were being unloaded from the helicopter after your miracle survival.’
‘And now you’ve come in with a miracle baby,’ Hugh added.
Jennifer smiled at the baby in question, who had just passed his first thorough medical examination with flying colours and been declared fit enough to do without an incubator despite his early arrival. ‘I think he’s the one who made the dramatic entrance.’ She glanced up to where Phil had his arm around Ellie. ‘Has he got a name yet?’
‘Isaac,’ they both answered.
‘And his middle name will be Guy,’ Ellie added drowsily.
Phil grinned. ‘We’d make it Jennifer, but I don’t think it would go down too well at school.’
Guy was releasing the pressure on a blood-pressure cuff. He pulled the stethoscope from his ears. ‘BP’s up to 110 over 70,’ he reported.
‘Fabulous.’ Hugh nodded. ‘It’s all looking good, folks, so I think the show’s almost over. We’ll get this family tucked up in the ward and make sure they all get a good rest.’
‘You look like you need a rest, too, Jenna,’ Maggie decided. ‘Or at least a shower and a change of clothes. I could give you a lift into town in the ambulance, if you like. Where are you staying?’
‘I’ve only just arrived,’ Jennifer responded a little awkwardly. ‘I haven’t decided where to stay yet.’
She stared at Guy, trying to catch his eye. They needed to talk. Would he allow her back onto his own turf to do that? If he chose somewhere impersonal like a hotel, she would know that any fantasy of him being involved in the future of her and their baby was a pipe dream.
‘Jenna’s rental car is back at my place.’ Guy didn’t look at Jennifer as he spoke. ‘I’ll take care of her.’
The promise in those words lasted only until Jennifer had showered and changed into jeans and a comfortable pullover at Guy’s cottage and shared a late lunch of soup heated on the coal range and served with crusty, thick slices of buttered bread.
The rain had stopped and sunshine was breaking through patchy cloud cover, but the warmth from the open fire was still welcome. The dogs added to the sense of homely peace by stretching luxuriously and groaning in contentment.
Jennifer’s tentative contentment evaporated when Guy broke the seemingly companionable silence in which they’d eaten.
‘I’ll give you any support you need as far as finances and things go, but that’s all I’m prepared to do.’
‘I don’t need your money.’ Jennifer could hear that she wasn’t entirely successful in keeping the sharp disappointment from her tone. ‘I earn enough.’
‘What did you come here for, then?’
Her tone hardened. ‘I thought you’d want to know you were going to be a father. I actually thought you might want to have a meaningful place in your child’s life.’
Guy snorted incredulously. ‘You mean you expect me to do the decent thing and marry you? Is that what you came here for?’
Yes, Jennifer cried silently. ‘No, of course not,’ she said aloud.
‘What, then? You think I’m going to up sticks and shift to Auckland so I see my kid every second weekend or so? You know how I feel about living in cities, Jenna. Do you really think that anything would induce me to try that again?’
‘No. It didn’t even occur to me to ask you to move.’
Guy shook his head. ‘Don’t tell me you’re thinking of moving to Central and becoming a rural GP?’
‘Hardly.’
Not that it seemed like a totally undesirable scenario after the excitement and satisfaction of the case they had just attended. Jennifer mirrored Guy’s head shake as she tried to clear the errant thought.
‘I’ve got a job interview tomorrow afternoon for a position of head of department.’ She lifted her chin a fraction. ‘It’s what I’ve always wanted and I’ve worked damn hard to get there.’
‘Good for you,’ Guy said coldly. ‘I’m sure you’ll be successful.’
‘I’ve got a very good chance. It’s certainly not something I’m about to throw away.’
‘And how will that work?’ Guy’s words dripped ice. ‘Raising a child and being head of department in one of the country’s busiest EDs?’
‘I’ll employ a nanny,’ Jennifer snapped back. ‘It’s perfectly manageable…if not ideal.’
‘“Not ideal” is an understatement.’
‘At least he or she will have one parent available.’
‘Part time,’ Guy said scathingly. ‘Very part time. Why bother?’
‘Excuse me?’ Jennifer’s jaw dropped. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘You have your life pretty well sorted, don’t you, Jenna?’ Guy picked up her empty soup bowl, stacked it on top of his and stood up abruptly to carry them to the sink. ‘You’ve escaped Hicksville and have a trendy inner-city pad. You’ve climbed the career ladder with admirable alacrity and now you’re lined up for a top job that will leave you very little time for any kind of a family life. A child doesn’t exactly fit in, does it?’
‘I didn’t plan this.’ Jennifer was horrified by the succinct—and unarguable—appraisal of her life. ‘I’ll make it fit in.’
Guy turned on a tap. ‘As I said, why bother?’
‘Because I want this baby, that’s why.’
He spun around to face her. ‘Do you?’
‘Yes.’ Tension was making the muscles in her jaw ache. Another part of Jennifer ached even more fiercely from the shaft of despair lodging inescapably deeper. Guy thought she was selfish and shallow enough to be unfit as a mother. And maybe she had been not so long ago, but her life had changed since then. She had changed. Why couldn’t Guy see that? It was because it was his baby she was carrying that the most dramatic change of all had occurred.
‘You don’t need to look at me as though I’m Jack the Ripper.’ Guy spoke calmly as he wiped his hands on a dishcloth. ‘I’m just pointing out that you do have choices.’
‘I’ve made my choice.’ Jennifer couldn’t stand this any longer. Her chair scraped on the flagstones as she stood up. ‘I came here to give you a choice, and it’s pretty obvious what that is.’
‘Wait a minute! Where do you think you’re going?’
‘Out for a walk.’ Jennifer didn’t look back. ‘I’ll be back in an hour. If you still want to get rid of your child—and me—then you’ll only have to say the word.’
‘Wait!’
But Jennifer didn’t wait, and the front door closed with a resounding thud behind her.
An hour.
It wasn’t a long time when you had to choose a route from the most significant crossroads Guy had ever stumbled into. He sat by his fi
re, his dogs at his feet and his head in his hands.
If he said the word, Jennifer and his unborn baby would disappear from his life. He knew the level of determination…and courage, this woman was capable of. If she chose to raise this child alone then that was exactly what she would do. What’s more, she’d make a damned good job of it.
Decency would prompt her to keep in touch, of course. Guy would probably get photographs once or twice a year to mark anniversaries like birthdays or Christmas. The figure getting taller in each imaginary snapshot was frustratingly shadowy. Would it have his dark hair and eyes? Or be fair like Jennifer’s? A girl or a boy?
Would he get more than photographs? Would he know when this small person smiled for the first time, took its first step or said a real word? Maybe he would receive a wobbly crayon drawing or a copy of a school report eventually.
It would never be enough. Guy thought of the way Phil and Ellie had looked holding their brand-new son and something squeezed with painful intensity in his chest. He wanted to be able to hold his child. To make sure it knew that he would always be there for it. To take it into the mountains and share the love he had for nature. To share some of the love bottled up inside him that had no recipient.
But…if he chose that other road, he would have more than ongoing contact with his child. He would have to have a relationship of some kind with Jennifer. The memory of how it felt to hold her swamped Guy so easily because it was so familiar, but his fantasies had never included a relationship out of the bedroom. What would she be like to live with? Even in some kind of temporary fashion—like extended visits maybe.
She’d be a challenge, that was for sure. He’d have to be very sure of his ground and prepared to fight to the death if he wanted to win any arguments. But, then, she’d also be very loyal, and if he—or the child—needed someone fighting in their corner, she’d be the perfect choice.
She was brave, too, and when he’d told her that night that she wasn’t useless or soft, he’d meant it. Jennifer Allen was intelligent and focussed and probably deserved the prestigious position she was aiming for. It would take a great deal to stop her reaching a goal. For the first time Guy really registered the fact that she’d never complained once in that journey they’d made together. She had been scared, hungry, in pain and pushed to the point of physical collapse, but she had just kept going.
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