by T. G. Ayer
"Woah, you don't waste time, do you?" Aidan's eyes went wide. They widened further when I told him about Astrid's little stunt when I'd arrived with the elixir. "You mean she actually tried to kill you?"
"Pretty much wanted to slice me and dice me. And it wasn't the first time, so I didn't have much trouble believing she wanted me dead. She did put up a fight, though." But I hadn't wasted time in showing Astrid who was boss. I remembered the hatred that glowed in her cold eyes as she sat on the floor of Freya's Hall, defeated.
"Well, she'll know not to mess with you again." Aidan threw an arm around me. The furs beneath me reminded me that we were sitting on Aidan's bed. I smiled a small sad smile. The last time we'd sat together on his bed and talked had been back home in Craven, the night Brody died. The night my whole world had slowly begun to crumble.
Another comfortable silence passed, in which more Mead was drunk and in which the heat generated from our thighs, as we sat so close together, became almost unbearable.
I wriggled, intending to move away from him to give us both some space, but somehow I found myself within the circle of his arms instead.
No time or action or intention made sense in that moment as he lowered his head and captured my lips with his. This heated meeting of lips was filled with promise. Not only the promise of entwined arms and racing pulses, but also of longing and loneliness, and of sacrifice.
This time, it was I who was lost in him, lost in the heat of his lips and the feel of his living body beneath my searching fingers. It was so good to have him back, healthy and alive.
I couldn't say who pulled away first, or why. But we did. Eventually. I looked away, straightened my hair, patting it neatly just to make use of my jittery fingers.
Aidan cleared his throat and broke the silence with the best response ever. "So when do we leave?"
"Just say the word."
"Okay then, what are you waiting for, Valkyrie?"
Chapter 37
Freya delivered us straight into Odin's Hall, and we arrived amidst the shadows and the dust motes. The goddess inclined her head to Aidan and then to me: a regal farewell. Then she shimmered into nothingness, becoming part of the shadows in the blink of an eye.
I barely registered her departure as I turned to Aidan to check on him. These god-guided Bifrost trips were not easy on the body, and he had a strange, almost drunken expression in his eyes.
Of course, that could just be the Mead.
"You alright?" I gripped his arm.
He nodded, although even that slight movement looked shaky. After clearing his throat, he said, "Yeah. I'm fine." And then he proved it by standing on his own two feet and brushing my hand off.
Before I could think about being hurt by his rejection, the chatter of a rather noisy group of people approaching the hall disturbed us. They crossed the huge threshold, which could easily have accommodated eight abreast, and I grinned at the sight of Fen and Joshua and the rest of the scout team. Deep in conversation, they ambled down the aisle, their muted words echoing softly in the gigantic hall.
Their discussion came to a grinding halt as soon as they caught sight of us. Joshua and Aimee ran forward, and a flurry of hugs and excited questions ensued. Aidan received a round of slaps on the back as the Craven kids celebrated his return to the land of the living.
Behind me, someone cleared his throat. I turned to face Fen and met his enigmatic gaze.
"Hello, Brynhildr." His expression remained cool, almost aloof. "I see you have had a successful mission."
I felt a stab of guilt that Fen had had no part in my mission; he was, after all, my superior, and I hadn't even told him my plans. Would Thor or Odin have passed him a message? I hoped he wouldn't hold it against me.
I pasted a bit of happiness on my face. "Yes. Aidan is well, and the Nidhogg's daughter will be well soon enough."
In the lull of laughter and questions, Fen injected a question that wreathed the room in tense silence. "Brynhildr, what happened in Swartelfheim?" An odd frown formed on his face.
I bristled, my own guilt making Odin's expression accusatory instead of enquiring. I gave the group a condensed version of the events, skimming quickly over Mika's attack and her death at my hands, hoping they wouldn't ask for more details. I should have hoped harder. At the mention of her death, everyone in the team exchanged strange glances, their faces seeming to burst with further questions.
"What did you say about Mika?"
I thought it would've been Fen who asked that question, Mika being his child, but the speaker's voice boomed around the hall, and the chattering group fell silent.
I bowed to Odin before I answered. "My lord, I was forced to defend myself against my Ulfr partner when she attacked me and tried to take the goblet from me. She was so desperate for me not to have it that she destroyed it."
Odin mulled over my answer, his face a granite profile. He said, "Fenrir, is Mika able to walk?"
I almost choked at the god's question. Mika able to walk? Was he crazy? Mika was dead.
I'd killed her.
I was sure I'd killed her.
I glanced at Fen over my shoulder, disbelief pasted on my face, but he just patted my arm and answered Odin. "Yes, my lord. She is well enough to walk." Odin nodded and turned to a Huldra, who trotted off, probably to fetch Mika. Inside my chest, my heart catapulted. Mika had been very dead when I'd left her on the floor of Odin's hall.
"Is she really okay?" I asked Fen, terrified that he would bite my head off, literally. I'd mortally wounded his daughter. Or so I'd thought. Apparently I'd been mistaken in thinking myself a murderer.
"Yes, Brynhildr. It is a natural ability of the Ulfr. We are fast, strong, and we heal faster than humans do. Faster than Valkyries do, too."
"But she was dead." I shook my head, still unable to process what he was saying.
"Not dead. Our bodies go into a stasis. We regenerate, healing damage to organs, regaining our health. Mika will be weak. But she will soon be healthy again." And though his voice held a touch of comfort for me, the tone was all business, and one hundred percent fury.
I wasn't sure what to say. About to respond, I met Joshua's suddenly angry eyes over Aimee's shoulder and stopped. Now what the hell was that about? Sure, I'd sliced and diced the love of his life, but she'd meant to kill me. Was I suddenly not allowed to defend my life, just because Joshua had the hots for my traitorous friend? But as angry as I was, Joshua's anger hurt more than anything else did. I never thought I'd ever see such resentment in my best friend's eyes. My heart ached.
Mika's entrance into the hall distracted me from my self-pitying thoughts. The Huldra servant led her to the dais, where she stood before Odin, awaiting his word. Her skin gleamed a milky, colorless hue, while her face appeared demure.
"Mika, daughter of Fenrir." Odin boomed the words as if they were more an accusation than a statement of her lineage. "You have been accused of sabotaging the mission of your partner, the Valkyrie Brynhildr. You have also been accused of betraying your father. We have heard from Brynhildr that you willingly and knowingly followed the word of the god Loki, thus betraying your father, your general and your duty as an Ulfr of Asgard."
Mika tilted her chin, the tiny movement all the confirmation I needed to know she was as guilty as the night was dark. And that my actions were unimpeachable. Even if they were murderous.
"Mika, daughter of Fenrir, what have you to say?" Odin growled, the severity of his accusation revealed in the cold vibration of his voice. That same severity and tension replayed in every face in the room. Fenrir stood just behind me, so I couldn't see his expression, but a strange vibration touched my skin and teased my eardrums, not dissimilar to the rumbling vibration from the night that Fen had taken me to retrieve Aidan from a dark and lonely Craven stream.
I shivered at the thought that perhaps Fen's anger now would be directed at me instead. I wasn't keen to test the full fire of Fenrir's fury.
Mika stood very still, eyes fixed on the
floor, the picture of humility. I wasn't convinced. The hall reverberated with the sounds of tense breathing. Blood thrummed through my ears, and every sound seemed louder, clearer. Fear jackhammered in my chest. But what did I have to be afraid of? Mika had tried to sabotage my mission.
A little voice inside me reminded me it was her word against mine.
"Speak, Mika. You stand accused of a terrible crime." Odin rose and suddenly he towered over us, his frame increasing to his gigantic godly proportions. He stepped forward and the whole building trembled.
Mika flinched but held her ground. She flung her head back and stared up at Odin; her jaw worked and I could imagine the flashing anger in her eyes.
"I have committed no crime," she said. Her voice rang almost as loud as Odin's did. I felt eyes on me, and a quick sideward glance confirmed Joshua, Aimee and Aidan sending suspicious looks back at me.
I flushed, my heart twisting in my chest. A strange combination of embarrassment and hurt. How could they believe I'd lied about everything? How could they take her word over mine? My vision blurred and my lip quivered. How stupid could I have been? I clenched my fists, wrenching my thoughts away from the depth of my pain. But it didn't work. I still hurt all over.
The ensuing silence just made my agony worse, coloring it every shade of pain.
A soft hand slipped into the crook of my arm. It hurt to turn my head, but I did. And stared straight into Sigrun's eyes. With a small, encouraging smile and a firm squeeze of my arm, she helped my pain to recede a little.
Sigrun must have walked right past Fen to come to me, making her act of support all the more special. Despite her love for him, she still chose to stand by me. I smiled at her, my eyes moist with my gratitude.
Odin took another step forward, and the vibration drew my attention back to the dais. I ignored my friends from Craven until I felt a warmth beside me at my right. I knew without looking that it was Aidan. He didn't touch me, just stood beside me, and that was enough.
Odin's movement spurred Mika to speak again. "I have done nothing wrong besides following my beliefs."
"So you admit to the attempt to thwart Brynhildr's mission, endangering the lives of both Aidan and the daughter of the Nidhogg?"
Mika didn't flinch. "Yes. I did as Loki asked. My god guides me, and I do not question his requests of me." Her back remained stiff and unrelenting.
"So you admit to your loyalty to the god Loki." Black thunder roiled in the All-Father's voice.
"I follow the one true path." Mika laughed. "I have done everything he has asked of me. But it was the Mead that was the most important."
I gasped. So Mika had been the one who poisoned the Mead we'd used on our search for Brisingamen. The same Mead that Aidan had drunk to sustain his health, which had instead delayed his recovery. And she had managed to insinuate herself into our team, fix herself to my side as friend and partner. It had all been a lie. But I guess things made a different sort of sense in her mind.
Odin laughed bitterly, the sound hollow and dead. "True path? You think your worship of Loki is the true path?"
"He is true to destiny. He does not wish to thwart what is meant to be."
"Is this what he has told you? That destiny and fate are so firm that one cannot and should not attempt to change it?"
"Yes he has, and it is true." Mika shook her head, throwing her arms out, palms up as if pleading with Odin. "If only you saw the truth of it, you would agree with me."
Odin shook his head, the light glinting on his golden helmet. "Mika, my child. It is so very sad to see that the bright and beautiful child of Fenrir could have been influenced by Loki's evil." Despite my anger toward Mika's betrayal, I felt and understood Odin's sadness for her.
"My lord Loki is not evil. He is a truly beautiful being. It is only your perception that makes him evil." She cast her eyes about the hall, desperately seeking someone who would agree. At last she glanced in Joshua's direction. He, in turn, just shook his head in disbelief, his eyes filled with disappointment. Mika took the tiniest of steps forward, and Joshua took an equally tiny step back.
A part of me was so incredibly relieved that he'd chosen to reject her, but the rest of me just hurt for Joshua. His heart had been splintered into a million pieces. And Joshua wasn't the only one hurt in this horrible betrayal.
"Fenrir," Odin called his general, and Fen walked toward the dais. There was a heaviness to his step as he passed, a droop to his shoulders that gave him away, despite the implacable expression on his face. He stood at the dais, surrounded by the pained silence of the gathered group.
My heart thumped as it flooded with sympathy for this father, who stood betrayed by a daughter. That Mika had even thought of doing such a thing to this man enraged me. Beside me Sigrun's fingers tightened on my arm. I turned to see her eyes filled with tears and her throat convulsing as she shared his pain, no doubt more than I ever would.
Odin addressed his general. "Fenrir. As general of this Ulfr, and father to this daughter, you will be responsible for deciding the most suitable punishment."
"My lord, my only suggestion would be to send her to Hel."
The gathered group gasped, and I was stunned that he made the decision so automatically, so swiftly.
"Are you certain, Fenrir?" Odin leaned forward.
"Yes, my lord. It is the punishment for desertion and disloyalty to the regiment. As Mika's father, I believe that particular punishment is most suitable, and I wouldn't beg lenience in this case. She has done a great disservice to the Odin's army, to Asgard and to her Valkyrie partner."
"Fenrir, such is your command, and so shall I accept." Odin addressed the now white-faced Mika. "Mika, daughter of Fenrir, your punishment for your crimes is banishment to Helheim. The goddess Hel will decide the most fitting punishment for you when you arrive in her presence. You will be removed to Helheim immediately."
The crowd shuffled, probably surprised like me that the whole thing happened so quickly. Mika's confession may have moved things along. I glanced at Fen. His profile was granite, lifeless and cold as he stared at his child. My heart ached for him. I remembered what betrayal tasted like. Remembering the day Mika had confessed her true affiliations to me, the day she'd tried to kill me.
Fenrir moved toward Mika, releasing a short, golden chain from his belt. I recalled a similar chain that he'd used to secure Loki when the god had been caught after attacking Aidan. Now Fen wrapped the chain around Mika's hands, binding them within the golden links. Fen gazed at her face, the pain clear in his hollow eyes. Mika just stared back. Daughter watched father, unmoving, unaffected at all by the hurt she'd caused, by the intense disappointment and sadness that her father felt. Mika lifted her chin, showing a tiny bit of defiance despite knowing she was headed for the frigid bowels of Hel. Mika acted far too confident for my liking.
Odin stepped off the dais, gradually shrinking in size with each step as he moved toward Mika and Fen. He touched Fen's shoulder, and just like that, father and daughter disappeared in a swirling tornado of gusting air.
When they were gone, Odin faced me. "Brynhildr. Were you injured at all?" I shook my head, though it was a lie. My heart and my trust had both been badly damaged by my so-called friend. "Very well," the All-Father said. "It is time you and your team returned to Midgard. Fenrir will meet you there." As I turned to leave he added, "And Brynhildr? Well done. I am aware that it is no easy task to fight someone you care for, someone you trust."
I managed a half-hearted smile.
Odin inclined his head, and I felt blessed that he understood how I felt, how much I regretted hurting Mika. How I even regretted her whole punishment and banishment. If only I could just erase the whole thing.
Joshua's peculiar expression caught my eye as I stepped away from the All-Father. My heart lurched and a deep sadness welled inside me. He was still so angry with me. And it hurt me more than I could understand. So much that I shuddered on my next breath and had to blink away a wave of searing tears.
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I made a move to go to him, and Sigrun must have understood because she immediately released my arm. But Joshua narrowed his eyes. He hesitated for the merest fraction of a second before turning on his heel and leaving the hall so fast that even Aimee looked startled at his sudden departure.
The crowd broke off into little clusters to discuss the whole horrible debacle, everyone somber and worried. Aimee strode over toward me and Sigrun. "Bryn, you really mustn't blame yourself." I opened my mouth to respond, but she grabbed my arm, her fingers squeezing tight. "No, you've got that look in your eye, the one that says you're taking the problems of the world onto your own shoulders. Stop it."
"She is right, Bryn," Sigrun said, chiming in. "Perhaps your friend Joshua is deeply hurt by all this, but I do not see how he can blame you. Mika admitted to her crime before us all. There is no doubt of your innocence."
I shook my head. "But . . . the way he looked at me," I whispered.
Aidan had also joined us, his face a granite mask. All this drama must have been a lot to handle so soon after joining the land of the alive and kicking. Poor guy. "Do you want me to talk to him?" he asked.
"Would you?" I searched his face, eager for reassurance. "Just . . . just be there for him. Don't try to change his mind or anything. I think he shouldn't really be left alone right now."
Aidan nodded and rushed off in search of Joshua. I prayed that Joshua would accept Aidan's advice. Prayed harder that he would forgive me. But forgive me for what? I had nothing to be forgiven for. I'd done what I had to do. Mika had been the one at fault all along, insisting she come with me wherever I went. I remembered the hard expression in her eyes when she'd demanded to come with me to the Swartelfheim. And that had been only seconds after she'd been making out with Joshua. The memory of the time I'd caught them kissing twisted in my gut. Was I angry because she'd just used him? It had to be that, because the only other possibility was that I was jealous, and that just didn't make any sense. Joshua was my friend.
