As Sabrina sat on the exam table, the nurse lifted an eyebrow at the bruises from the train, and Sabrina scrambled to come up with a believable lie. She ended up telling her she’d been attacked back home, but the man had been arrested. When she saw that the nurse was still not convinced, Sabrina hurried to say it was the reason she left Arizona.
After several x-rays and an examination, the doctor determined it was just a bad bruise on her ribs. It would heal enough in a couple days to be able to dance, but she wasn’t supposed to push it. He gave her a prescription for some pain medicine and told her to return on Monday if she didn’t feel any better. After working out a payment plan with the front desk for the bill, they went to the pharmacy, then back to Jayson’s apartment.
Liz was there when they arrived. She grinned at Sabrina. “Congratulations.”
She smiled. “Thanks.”
Liz looked at her brother and frowned. “You’d better treat her right.”
Jayson rolled his eyes. “I’ve never treated a partner badly. What’d you get?”
“Mirliton.” Liz grinned, eyes sparkling.
“Congrats, sis. That’s great! I know you’ve been wanting that for years. Did you call Mom and Dad?”
“Yeah. Told them you were the prince. Again. Can’t say they were surprised.” She laughed. “You feeling better, Sabrina? You got a little pale toward the end.”
She nodded. “My ribs are bruised, but they’ll be better in a couple days. I took some pain medication, so I don’t feel anything now.” It was odd, knowing she should be in pain, but wasn’t. Ramon never gave her any medicine. He wanted her to feel everything.
Jayson studied her. “You still need to rest. Why don’t you go take a shower, then we can grab some lunch?”
Sabrina nodded and headed to the bathroom. When she was clean and dressed, she went back out to the living room.
Jayson looked up from the TV and smiled. “Martin called. If you’re feeling up to it, he said you could go sign your contract this afternoon and he’d give you an advance on your salary. He knows you don’t have any money.”
“He did?” She had forgotten there were kind people in the world. Her heart felt as if it would burst with happiness. It felt like a dream, being around kind people again. It had been so long. “Wait? Salary?”
Jayson arched a brow and laughed. “Yeah, we get paid to dance. How else would we be able to survive?”
Sabrina felt her cheeks warm. She hadn’t thought about the fact that joining the company was a job. On some level, she knew, but it was more of a dream-come-true than anything. That she would get paid to do what she loved more than anything in the world took her breath away.
Jayson treated Sabrina to lunch at the deli they’d gotten their lunch at the day before, then they walked to the studio.
“Feeling better, Sabrina?” Martin asked as she and Jayson took seats across from his desk. “You have color back in your cheeks.”
She nodded. “Yes, thank you.” The pain medication she’d taken had removed most of the pain. It was strange to know she was still hurt but not feeling it.
“Good. I’m glad it was just a bruise. Rehearsals start Monday, and I don’t want anyone doubting my decision.”
“I’ll do my best, sir.”
“I’m sure you will.” Martin sat back in his chair, steepling his fingers in front of his face. “I called Larry after your audition yesterday. Just to find out what the hell he was doing with you in that tiny town.”
“He had to—” Sabrina began, but Martin waved his hand.
“I know, Sabrina. He told me what he knew about you from the last few years. He was deeply grieved that he didn’t realize the situation you were in and said he was happy you’d found a place out here.” He smiled. “I promised him I’d take good care of you.”
She nodded, not knowing what to say.
“Is Chase around?” Martin asked Jayson, glancing at Sabrina. She was certain her face had gone pale. Martin had to be talking about the same person she’d met so long ago. And if he was asking about it . . . Jayson’s best friend had to be the same person, too. She swallowed and looked down at her hands, which were clasped tightly in her lap.
Jayson raised his eyebrows. “Why?”
“Well, Sabrina’s former director said some unsavory people had been asking about her. I thought maybe Chase might be able to help.”
Her heart pounded and she looked back up at Martin. “Is Mr. Baker okay?” she asked worriedly, ignoring the fact that her heart skipped a beat every time Chase’s name was mentioned.
Martin nodded. “He’s fine. They don’t suspect that he knows anything or was involved in your disappearance. He had someone get rid of the car you drove.”
Sabrina sighed in relief. That had to mean only Ramon’s guys were looking for her. Khyan could have read Mr. Baker’s mind, but Ramon’s guys were human. Maybe his brother from Mexico took over.
Martin looked back at Jayson, who sighed. “I called him earlier today, but he’s still out of town. I left him a message, but he won’t get it until . . . later.”
Martin frowned slightly. “Any idea when he’ll be home?”
Jayson shook his head. “Before he left, he said it might be a long one. He’s only been gone a week or so.”
Sabrina closed her eyes, willing her heart to slow down. She’d only missed him by a few days. But that was good, right? She didn’t want to see him. Didn’t want to be confronted with the fact that he was happily married and probably had kids.
She winced at the thought.
“You okay?” Jayson asked, putting his hand on hers.
Sabrina jumped slightly at his touch. “Yeah,” she answered, trying to mask the pain in her voice. She hoped if he heard it, he’d think it was just her ribs bothering her.
But this pain was far worse and emanated from a much deeper place in her chest.
*****
Before she went to bed that night, Sabrina dragged her bag out of the closet and dug through it until she found the rolled-up socks holding Chase’s ring.
She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him since she’d heard his name earlier that afternoon. The knowledge of how her life had turned out was as painful as the bruise on her side. Maybe more so. Chase still lived in Boston. Maybe even had a place not too far from her own new home. And yet . . . Life would never turn out the way she’d dreamed of for so long. There would be no sweet reunion with him running to her and embracing her, saying how much he missed her. That he’d waited for her.
No man would wait so long without so much as a word from a girl. And even if there were the tiniest chance of that happening, he’d never want her once he found out the truth of what had been going on all these years. No man wanted a whore and a murderer for a wife.
If he even remembered her.
But she remembered him. Oh, how she remembered him.
Sabrina sat down on her bed, cross-legged, and untwisted the socks until the heavy ring fell onto the bed in front of her. She reached out to touch it, expecting it to be cool, but found it warm. As always.
She could almost feel Chase standing in front of her, almost hear his voice.
“It’s my promise that I will return for you.”
Why? Why did she cling to a hope of a promise from so long ago? How could she expect him to have kept it after so many years? They’d only had the one night.
“I will return for you.”
She could hear his voice in her heart as clearly as if he were standing right next to her. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she picked up the ring and stared into the depths of the diamond in the center.
She had no doubt he meant it at the time. He was that type of man. If she hadn’t disappeared, she was sure he would have come back for her. Who knew? Maybe he even tried.
But she wasn’t there.
&n
bsp; The thought of seeing him again was killing her. She wanted to rip her heart out of her chest and throw it through the window. Or stab it with a long blade. Anything to stop the pain. The pain of the what-ifs.
The physical pain she went through for the past several years was nothing compared to the pain she felt right then. Possibilities, dreams torn away, along with the innocence of her youth. Replaced with the reality of what she’d become. A whore. A murderer.
She lay down on the bed and closed her eyes, hoping she would have good dreams tonight. Maybe of dancing with Jayson.
Chapter Sixteen
Sabrina woke the next morning, her ribs aching terribly and her heart racing. That happened more often than she’d like to admit, as she had more nightmares than dreams. She usually didn’t remember any details, but she remembered the feelings. Those were bad enough. She wasn’t sure if she really wanted to remember. Something about being chased by some horrible unknown was enough to know.
She rubbed her face and groaned as she rolled to her side and sat up. Outside, the sun was high in the sky. She looked at the bedside clock and saw it was almost noon.
After gathering some clothes, she padded to the bathroom to take a hot shower in the hopes it would help her aching body. For what seemed like the hundredth time, she wondered how humans dealt with not healing quickly. Normally, she would be better already. But she wasn’t her normal self.
The shower helped with the racing heart, but not the pain. She walked out of the bathroom, gritting her teeth against it, but tried to smooth her expression when she saw Liz standing in the kitchen.
“How are you feeling?” Liz asked.
Sabrina hesitated, then remembered she wasn’t with Ramon. He relished in her pain. Liz wouldn’t do that. “It hurts,” she admitted.
“Did you take anything?”
Sabrina blinked in confusion. Liz pointed to the plastic amber bottle on the counter.
“Let me get you some water and you can take your medicine. You’ll feel better.”
“I forgot about those,” Sabrina said, embarrassed, as Liz handed her two white tablets and a glass of water.
“What did you take back home when you hurt yourself?”
Sabrina bit her lip and stared at the pills. How could she explain that she healed after sleep? Or that Ramon would never have given her something to help with the pain he caused? She swallowed the pills and walked into the kitchen to put her glass into the sink.
“I’m sorry if I’m being nosey,” Liz said sincerely. “Sometimes I speak before I think.”
Sabrina shook her head. “You’re fine. I just . . . I’ve never been normal. Didn’t really get hurt when my parents were alive . . .” She pressed her lips together as Liz’s eyes widened, making Sabrina think she understood what Sabrina wasn’t saying.
“Did you get sent somewhere after your parents died?”
Sabrina laughed softly. “You could say that.”
“Were they . . . abusive? Whoever took care of you, I mean?”
“They were never meant to ‘take care of me,’” Sabrina said in a soft voice and looked away, remembering that horrible day. “They killed my parents so they could take me.” Liz gasped. Sabrina wished she hadn’t said anything. “Sorry,” she said quickly. The last thing Sabrina wanted to do was make Liz or anyone else uncomfortable.
When Liz wrapped her arms around her, Sabrina stiffened, like she had the previous morning when she hugged her. But, at the same time, it felt nice. She ignored the pain in her side and hugged Liz back. A few tears escaped, but for the most part, Sabrina kept them under control.
“I’m not hurting you, am I?” Liz asked, her voice muffled slightly.
“No,” Sabrina lied.
She pulled back and gave her a doubtful look. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“It’s okay. Really.” Sabrina traced a pattern on the granite countertop with her finger. “It’s been a while since I’ve been around nice people. I like it.” She gave her a small smile.
Liz smiled, though Sabrina could see the sadness in her eyes. “You wanna watch a movie to keep your mind off your ribs until the meds kick in?”
“Sure.” Sabrina liked the idea of a distraction.
Liz got her a blanket and a pillow and told her to stretch out on the couch while she took the oversized armchair. About halfway through the movie, Sabrina realized her ribs weren’t hurting anymore. She mentioned it to Liz.
“If you take the medicine regularly, you won’t have too much pain,” she explained. “I’ll help you remember, if you want.”
Sabrina nodded with a smile. “Thanks.”
Jayson came home just as they finished their second movie. He sat down next to Sabrina, who was curled up in the corner of the couch. “How ya feeling?” he asked.
She smiled. “Medicine is wonderful. I’m not feeling any pain.”
He laughed. “That’s kinda the idea. Think you’ll be up for going out tonight?”
“Jay, she should stay home and rest,” Liz scolded. “She was really pale when she woke up.”
Jayson looked thoughtful, then nodded. “Yeah. You’re probably right.”
Sabrina remembered what he had said the day before about celebrating and didn’t want to disappoint him. “I can go out if you guys want. I’m fine. Really.”
They both gave Sabrina a look and shook their heads. “We can celebrate another time,” Jayson said, patting her knee. “It’s more important that you’re ready for Monday morning.”
“If you’re up for it, though, we can go shopping tomorrow,” Liz said. “We’ll take it slow.”
“I’d like that.”
*****
Since Jayson and Liz insisted on her staying in that night, they invited some friends from the company over to make it more fun and to introduce Sabrina so she didn’t feel so lost when she started Monday.
Sabrina had already met Scott, Micah, and Kyle, and they all greeted her with friendly and flirtatious smiles. Even Micah, who hadn’t been especially welcoming on Wednesday, seemed happy to see her. The three of them had been cast in the high-energy Russian dance, which meant that she would be dancing and rehearsing with them.
Mya and Audrey arrived a few minutes after the guys, loudly discussing Nutcracker roles. Mya was tall and thin with high cheekbones and big brown eyes. She had her long black hair in a myriad of braids with beads at the end that clinked together when she moved her head. She gave Sabrina a big, friendly smile and hugged her almost as hard as Liz did. Audrey’s sleek, dark brown hair was shoulder length, bangs covering her forehead. Her eyes were so blue, they were almost violet, which fascinated Sabrina. Audrey was a little shorter than Mya, but seemed to have twice the energy. When they said they were roommates, Sabrina could only imagine how noisy their apartment was.
“I’m ordering pizza,” Jayson announced over the din of conversations.
Audrey and Mya groaned. “Why can’t you ever order healthy stuff?” Mya asked, eyes narrowed, though she didn’t look entirely serious. “We’re not guys, you know! You guys bitch if we gain a pound!”
Jayson rolled his eyes. “Fine. We’ll get it from Sammy’s so you can get rabbit food.”
Scott grinned. “If you didn’t stuff your face, you wouldn’t have to worry about it, Mya,” he said with a laugh.
She narrowed her eyes and grabbed him around the waist, tackling him to the floor.
“Hey, if you wanted to fuck me, you just had to ask,” Scott said with a laugh as Mya sat on his hips and held his hands above his head.
“Ha, you wish,” she said, rolling her eyes. “You just don’t like admitting I can kick your ass.”
Kyle, the bulkiest of the guys, grabbed Mya beneath the arms. She squealed and let out a string of profanities as he hauled her up.
“Audrey, help!” Mya screeched
, laughing at the same time.
Audrey sat on the couch daintily. “You said you wanted to get some action tonight,” she said, studying her nails. “I’m not getting in the way.” She stuck her tongue out at her friend.
“Bitch,” Mya muttered, then turned her attack on Kyle.
Sabrina scooted closer to Liz. “Are they always like this?” she whispered.
Liz laughed. “Oh yeah. Mya’s a horny bitch.”
Mya stuck her tongue out at Liz just before getting tackled by Kyle, then laughed hysterically when he started tickling her.
Sabrina watched everyone’s interactions with trepidatious fascination. She’d never experienced such a thing. It was scary and refreshing at the same time.
By the time the food arrived, though, they had calmed down . . . for the most part. Liz commented that she suspected Mya and Kyle would leave early and together. She was right. About halfway through the movie, the two ducked out. No one said anything, and she glanced at Liz, who shrugged.
“It happens. No one cares, as long as it doesn’t affect our dancing.”
Sabrina stared at the closed apartment door for a few seconds before turning back to the movie. What would they think if they found out she’d slept with Jayson?
Chapter Seventeen
Monday morning was her first class with the ballet company. Rehearsals for The Nutcracker would start after lunch. When she walked into the big, sunlit studio on the third floor, her heartbeat quickened in anticipation.
Jayson, Liz, and Jon were with her. Jayson chuckled as Sabrina sucked in deep breaths and tried to calm her nerves. The company wasn’t huge, but it was bigger than back home. Jon and Liz headed to one side of the studio, Jayson to the other. Sabrina hesitated until Jayson motioned for her to follow. She felt incredibly self-conscious as she hurried across the room and sat down next to him.
“You’ll be fine,” Jayson said as he pulled on his slippers. He gave her an endearing smile. “Just be yourself. Remember, most of them saw your audition and know how good you are. You belong here.”
Sabrina nodded, but the butterflies in her stomach were so aggressive, she was afraid she’d get sick.
Master of My Heart Page 11
