Charlie opened his mouth. Shut it again. He didn’t think anything. Couldn’t. He just wanted Leo.
“So this is your tree, eh?”
If Leo had possessed the energy, he’d have jumped a mile. As it was, he merely gazed at Reg as he loomed out of the darkness, and tried to find the will to berate himself for not running straight for the train station. Damn his tired legs that wouldn’t work.
Reg took his coat off and offered it to Leo. “Come on,” he said when Leo looked away. “Whatever you do from here isn’t going to be any easier if you get hypothermia.”
Leo had forgotten about the cold until that moment, but as he stared at the thick anorak Reg was dangling in front of him, it seeped into his bones again, travelling up his spine from where he was sitting at the foot of the tree, and out into his fingers and toes, his lips, his ears. Even his eyelids stung from the bitter wind that had sprung up in the brief few minutes he’d been alone in the woods.
The coat was tempting. Leo felt its warmth oozing out of it, but it was Reg’s coat. Stuff that.
Eventually, Reg put the coat back on and crouched gingerly on the damp ground for a moment, before giving in and sitting down. He was wearing beige trousers. The thought of him traipsing back to his equally beige car with a damp patch almost made Leo smile.
Almost, because he didn’t have the energy for that either. Or to push Reg away when he leaned a fraction closer.
“Your arm’s in a bad way,” Reg said quietly. “How long has it been like this? Did you hurt it when you were fighting today?”
“Fighting?” For a blissful beat of emptiness, the events of the day eluded Leo, but then, like every memory he tried to ignore, the crunch of the boy’s bones against his fist returned, the scent of his blood too. His howls of pain as Leo stamped on his ribs.
Leo shuddered, and Reg’s presence beside him faded away as the true reason he’d run all the way to Swindon laid new roots in his soul. Fliss didn’t need to trick him into believing that Lila was safe with Kate and Reg—he knew that, damn it, even if he didn’t like it. It was him that she needed protecting from. Because I’m Dennis. As playground fights he’d had over the years flashed through his mind like a horror film show reel, it occurred to him that perhaps he always had been Dennis. That a monster lurked inside him too.
“Leo.” Reg’s palm was scalding on Leo’s good arm, and it was clear by his insistent tone that he’d said Leo’s name more than once. “Why did you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Any of it. Attack that boy, run away from home . . . I’m not sure I want to know how you got the money for your train ticket.”
“I didn’t use a ticket. I jumped the barriers.”
“Oh . . . well, that’s better than helping yourself to Kate’s handbag, I suppose.”
“I’d never do that.”
“Why not?”
Leo blinked. “What?”
“Why wouldn’t you steal from Kate?”
“Because—” Leo’s brain and tongue failed him. He wouldn’t steal from Kate, though he’d helped himself to the purse of his previous foster mothers, but . . . why? What was different about Kate?
“Would you steal from me?”
“I—” Leo shook his head. “No, I wouldn’t, but what the fuck does that matter?”
Reg shrugged, like the answer was obvious, and Leo belatedly remembered that Reg would know that he’d lifted cash from his previous homes, because Reg knew every bloody thing about him.
Including where to find him when he didn’t want to be found.
“How did you find me?”
“How do you think?” Reg countered.
And Leo’s thoughts came full circle again, rinse and repeat. “You saw it in my file.”
“Yes, though it didn’t say exactly where your favourite tree was—just that you often retreated to the woods when things got bad at home.”
“But it’s not bad at home, is it? Everything’s fucking perfect in your world.”
“Nothing’s perfect, Leo. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be happy.”
“You’re wrong.” Leo tipped his head back on the tree trunk and closed his eyes. “I can’t be happy, but Lila can. You’ll help her, won’t you?”
“We want to help you both.”
Leo said nothing. If not for Reg’s hand on his arm, he’d have found the sleep dancing in front of him and sunk into the oblivion he so desperately craved.
Reg shook him gently. “Leo, we need to make some progress here, even if you don’t want to come home. You can’t stay here forever.”
Leo sighed. Why the hell not? The cold hurt, but he’d felt worse pain, and there was no point in moving just yet anyway. Not until Reg left and he could drift to the train station in peace.
Like he’d read Leo’s mind, Reg shook him again. “There’s nowhere to run from here, son. The police will pick you up the moment you get on a train or a bus.”
“I’m not your son.”
“I know, and I’m not trying to force you to come with me. I’m simply offering you a lift to wherever you want to go. You owe me nothing, but I can’t go home to Kate and Lila and tell them that I left you cold and bleeding in the woods.”
Leo opened his eyes and glanced at his arm. In the dark, it was shiny and swollen, the blood darkly vivid, like congealed rust. The sight of it frightened him, shock and horror breaking through the apathy that had kept him on the cold, muddy ground for so long. “It hurts.”
Reg nodded. “There’s an A and E department a few miles from here. Do you think you can walk that far? Or do you want to come with me now so I can drive you? Whatever you want. It’s your decision.”
That was bullshit, and they both knew it. The world would end before he left Leo in the woods to fend for himself, because Reg was a universe away from Dennis.
Perspective hit Leo like a train, but he still couldn’t find the words to acquiesce. He closed his eyes and thought of Charlie. He’d somehow detached himself from the knowledge that Charlie was likely a stone’s throw away, sat in Reg’s parked car outside the old house. He’d said good-bye already, even if Charlie hadn’t heard him. Could he do it again?
Leo was too tired to decide, and Reg took advantage of his silence by gently tugging him to his feet. “Come on,” he said. “I’ll drop you at the entrance, if that’s honestly what you want. The police will catch up with you eventually, but not through me.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“You don’t have to. Just get in the car—I’ll do the rest.”
“Just get in the car—we’ll do the rest.” Kate’s words, so long ago at a house on the other side of the city, echoed in Leo’s chaotic brain. He hadn’t believed her then, and he didn’t believe Reg now, and the hopelessness that overwhelmed him was the same too. His legs wobbled, and Reg’s arm was like a snake around his waist.
“Come on,” Reg repeated. “You’re not going to get very far like this. You don’t want our help? To be part of our family? That’s fine, but at least let me take you to the hospital to get that arm looked at.”
Family. Away from Lila, and maybe Charlie too, the word didn’t mean much to Leo, but as Reg’s earnest gaze drilled holes in what was left of him, his remaining resolve evaporated. Desperate, he chased it down, fighting his battered body as it slumped into Reg’s supporting hold. No. I don’t want to—
But there was no end to that sentence, because Leo had nothing left. He clung to Reg’s waist and buried his face in his chest. I need help.
Reg rubbed his back, and then led him slowly through the woods and out into the street Leo had called home for most of his life. The car was parked a little way down the road. Leo stared at it, and wondered why it called to him so strongly. I don’t want to get in the car. But then one of the back doors opened and a hooded figure climbed out. Charlie . . . he’s here.
Somehow, Leo had forgotten. He stumbled. Reg caught him again, and called to Charlie. “Get in the car, son. We’r
e coming.”
Charlie obeyed. The car engine gunned like an F1 car, and Reg swore. “Damn it, Fliss. How many times have I told her about that heavy right foot, eh?”
Leo turned his face towards Reg as the light from the car illuminated them both. “One of your headlights doesn’t work. It hasn’t since you first took me and Lila to your house.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I wanted the police to take you away.”
“Why?”
The car pulled up beside them. Leo watched the tyres creep closer to their sodden feet. “Because you had the same shoes as him.”
Leo opened the car door and crawled inside. Charlie smiled, and Reg faded away. Fliss too, though Leo was sure he felt her hands on him. He lay down and dropped his head in Charlie’s lap, absorbing the warmth radiating from him like a lion in the sun. Charlie had always felt good—magic, even—but now, when there was nothing left of Leo but darkness, Charlie was the sun.
Charlie tangled his fingers in Leo’s curls and sighed. “You scare me, Leo.”
Leo closed his eyes. I scare myself.
Charlie paced the landing upstairs, straining his ears for any sign of Reg returning from the Swindon hospital where Leo had been for the last four days. Hypothermia and a blood infection—those things made sense, given the state Leo had been in when they’d found him in his old back garden. Bloodied, freezing, and barely conscious, there had been a split second when Charlie had honestly believed he was dead.
But then Leo had opened his eyes, and Charlie had realised that the cold-induced delirium was only the start of the chaos wreaking havoc in Leo’s beautiful soul.
“They won’t be long,” Fliss said softly from the doorway of Leo’s room, where she was entertaining Lila. “Mum texted from the motorway services.”
“What about Andy? Where’s he?”
“On his way. He’ll be here before Mum and Dad.”
“Good.” Charlie blew out a breath and shoved his shaking hands into his pockets. Leo was due to be discharged the following morning, and until now, Reg had been staying in a Travelodge close to the hospital, but he was coming home today, with Kate, for a family meeting that could only be about one thing: Leo’s future.
Lila squeezed past Fliss and trod silently to Charlie’s side. She touched his hand.
He glanced down and plastered a smile on his face to sign, “What’s up, little one?”
The puzzled frown Lila had worn since Leo had abruptly vanished from her life deepened. “I want Leo.”
Charlie crouched down and gently tugged the pigtails Fliss had plaited into Lila’s hair that morning—a concerted effort to keep her occupied while Kate had persuaded the social workers to allow Fliss to care for Lila while she and Reg visited Leo. “Tomorrow. Leo’s still poorly.”
“His arm?”
“Yes.” It wasn’t exactly a lie. The doctors in Swindon reckoned Leo had been carrying a low-grade infection in his injured arm for months, and that it had got worse slowly enough for no one to notice. Did that explain why Leo had been sick so often? Why his skin had been so clammy and cold when he was upset? Why he’d cried out in the night?
Of course it didn’t. The horrors that had brought Leo and Lila into the Poultons’ home echoed in Charlie’s head every moment he couldn’t guard his thoughts, and that would still be there when the infection had cleared.
Lila drifted back to Fliss and the cache of Charlie’s art supplies they’d unearthed from under his bed. How Fliss had known they were there, he had no idea, and he didn’t much care. Lila could draw on his face with permanent marker if it distracted her from the fact that her brother was still MIA.
The front door opened. Charlie darted to the top of the stairs, but it was only Andy.
Charlie’s disappointment apparently showed. Andy grunted and hung his coat over the banister. “Bloody charming. Drive through rush hour to get here and you haven’t even got a brew on.”
He stomped down the hall to the kitchen. Charlie hesitated only a moment before following, and reached Andy’s side just as he was tossing teabags into the pot. “What do you know?”
Unflappable as ever, Andy filled the kettle with water from the tap. “About what?”
“About Leo. Are they sending him away? Are the police going to take him? Will he go to prison? What about—”
Andy held up a hand. “Whoa. One thing at a time.”
“Tell me.” Charlie worked his jaw. “It’s not fair that I’m always the last to know.”
“Yeah, well. Life isn’t fair, squirt, and I can’t fix it this time. All I can tell you is that Ma and Pa are doing everything they can for Leo, but you know that already, if you’ve got any sense.”
“That doesn’t tell me anything.”
“Doesn’t it? Do you think Dad would stay in a pissy Travelodge for days for a kid he was turfing back into the system?”
“He’s never turfed anyone anywhere.”
“Exactly. So why are you doubting him now? He’s only ever let kids go who he can’t help. Who we can’t help. Leo’s no different.”
Charlie scowled, because Andy was wrong about that. Leo was different. “What about the police?”
Andy shrugged and poured boiling water into the chipped teapot. “The school reported the incident, so police will want to talk to Leo, but whether he’s charged or not, depends on the kid.”
“On Darren bloody Stroud?”
“If that’s the name of the kid whose ribs Leo kicked in, yes. If he presses charges, then Leo’s in a lot of trouble, even with Dad arguing for diminished responsibility.”
“What does that mean?”
“That Leo isn’t—or wasn’t, at the time—mentally well enough to know what he was doing. It’s a long shot, but given his history, it’s pretty plausible.”
“Darren Stroud doesn’t deserve any sympathy. He booted seven bells of shite out of a year nine last term.”
Andy sighed. “That doesn’t make what Leo did okay. Besides, Leo has to live with what he’s done, and he might find that easier if he’s properly punished. Do you really want to add a shedload of guilt onto all the crap he’s already carrying?”
Charlie knew that Andy was right. Darren Stroud was a prat who had no business chucking eggs at teachers’ cars, looking up girls’ skirts, and offering idiots like Charlie pills in the local park, but what Leo had done to him had hurt everyone—and perhaps hurt Leo most of all. “Do you think they’ll let him come home?”
“Who? Ma and Pa, or social services?”
“Everyone, I guess.”
“I honestly don’t know, mate. It’s not just Leo they have to consider—there’s you, and Lila, and any other kid they might take in the future.”
“They can’t separate Leo and Lila.”
“Can so, especially if they think that he’s dangerous . . . that she’d be better off without him.”
Charlie took Andy’s words like a punch to the gut. “You don’t think that, do you?”
Andy dumped sugar into a stained Mr. Men mug and mechanically stirred his tea. Then he sighed again. “I want to believe the worst, because then the answer is obvious—he’s gotta go. But I can’t bring myself to think that way, because the Leo I see with that little girl upstairs isn’t the boy battering kids in the playground.”
“He’s not a monster.”
“I know, so that’s exactly what I’m going to say when Ma and Pa come home. They’ve probably made up their minds already, but we can still speak for Leo, eh? Seeing as he’s not here to speak for himself.”
The reminder of Leo’s absence lanced Charlie’s heart, but as far as the family meeting was concerned, he was glad of it. There was nothing worse than hashing out the future of a messed-up kid all the while aware that they were likely camped on the stairs, listening to every word.
A car pulled up on the drive. Charlie’s stomach flip-flopped as the unmistakable sound of Kate crunching the gearbox reached him.
It’s time.
Reg and Kate came inside, Reg heading straight for the table, Kate to the kitchen, no doubt to rustle up something sweet to soften the blow of whatever she had to say.
But no amount of her signature chocolate shortbread would lessen the pain of losing Leo. And it was Lila who danced through Charlie’s mind as he took his seat. She needed Leo more than anyone, and Charlie wasn’t going to let anyone take him from her.
Not even Leo.
Kate breezed into the room and set a plate on the table just as Fliss appeared with Lila in tow. Kate knelt in front of Lila and signed, “iPad? I have milk and biscuits for you.”
Lila stopped in the doorway, scanning the room. “Where’s Leo?”
“Hospital.”
“Home tomorrow?”
Kate glanced briefly at Reg, who gave a subtle nod. “Maybe,” Kate signed. “If he’s well enough.”
The half answer was apparently enough for Lila. She drifted to the couch and picked up the iPad from the coffee table. Fliss took her a plate of biscuits and a glass of milk, and it wasn’t long before she was engrossed in her game.
“Sit down, everyone,” Reg said. “The sooner we get this done, the better.”
“For who?” Fliss muttered.
“For all of us,” Kate said sharply. “This isn’t the time for snide comments.”
Fliss flushed and, for once, didn’t retaliate. And Charlie was grateful. There was enough to talk about without Fliss losing her rag.
“So . . .” Reg started. “It’s been a hell of a week, but before we get down to the nitty-gritty, you probably all want to know how Leo is?”
“Damn right,” Andy said. “Tell us everything you can.”
“I’ll tell you it all.” Reg stared directly at Charlie. “Leo doesn’t want to hide anything.”
“He said that? To you?”
Charlie couldn’t contain his shock, and Reg smiled a tiny wry smile. “You’d be surprised what Leo and I have talked about these last few days. There’s not much else to do on a hospital ward, even a children’s one, but yes . . . he wants you all to know what we know, so you can make your own judgements.”
“Is he feeling better?” Fliss asked. “He looked like death the last time I saw him.”
Finding Home Page 13
