by Beth Massey
As he handed her a packet, he spoke of her whispered words describing the rape of his lock while they were making love. “No need to take by force the talisman we both desire as keepsakes of our afternoon delight. Chuckling with the memory of her silliness he added, “I will dispense with heroic couplets to justify our exchange. Instead, I will award this freely-given lock the pride of place in my waistcoat pocket—strategically located halfway between by heart and my loins.”
As he moved to collect his clothes, he said, “You will find the brand of lavender water you use in the dressing table drawer. Just put a little bit on. It would be suspicious for it to be too strong after being caught in the rain.”
She stared at him in disbelief. “How do you know what type of lavender water I use?” A grin punctured her amazement. “Am I to take from your direction to wash and anoint myself with scent that I am malodorous?”
He blushed as he said; “I asked the maid who attended you at Netherfield to find out the name. I told her I wanted to purchase some for my sister.” He returned her grin. “You always smell delicious to me, but my motive today is to hide any evidence of our activities due to any telltale aroma of our lovemaking. Your aunt and uncle would be very suspicious if they perceived that smell. There are hair pins in the drawer, as well, to help with making your hair presentable.”
“Will Darcy, you are the most thoughtful person I have ever met. Is there a cap proclaiming my status as your wife somewhere about?”
The look on his face told her he was not pleased with her statement. Her expression was contrite as she said, “I am sorry, Will. I know I was wrong to have the audacity to presume that station before we have said our vows.”
“Elizabeth, this has nothing to do with anticipating our vows… we have been doing quite a bit of that this afternoon. No, I just despise those caps. You have beautiful hair, and I like to see it down and uncovered. I am not a great admirer of bonnets either. I do realize that fashion dictates women cover their heads while out and about during the day. However, as your husband, I will not tolerate hats of any kind here in this cottage.”
Elizabeth sighed in relief, and next her eyes danced mischievously, “But you promised you would wear your helmet for me.”
They both burst into laughter, and he pulled her into an embrace for a kiss that this time promised future afternoon’s of pleasure.
While still enveloped in his arms, Lizzy spoke cautiously of their next steps. “I know you abhor disguise, but we must decide on what to say when we return to the house. While you were sleeping, I devised a basic story to tell my aunt and uncle, which I will elaborate when we get back to the Rose and Crown.”
She pulled out of his embrace and watched his eyes as she spoke. “The initial story I will tell, must explain the length of our absence. I feel it necessary to begin with the admission we met in Kent. Mrs. Reynolds already knows we met in Hertfordshire. Would you object to my acknowledging our meeting again in her presence?”
He looked a bit wary, but said, “No.”
Lizzy laughed as she continued, “Knowing my occasional bouts of temper and proclivity to rush to judgement, my aunt and uncle will believe me when I tell them we had a fierce argument. I accused you of something I later learned was a falsehood. Hopefully, none on your staff will hear this part of my confession, but I must give them something believable to explain my abrupt behaviour.”
“I will ensure Mrs Reynolds is the only one present when I relate the details of finding you. Jeffries and the search parties, if they are about, will be dismissed before we tell our stories. We can adjourn to my study.”
Her washing complete, Lizzy looked thoughtful as she began dressing. “My anxiety about seeing you was known, and my confession of the rudeness I displayed toward you while in Kent would easily explain my erratic behaviour. I never hid from them my dislike with regard Wickham’s tale of woe.” Her hand captured his and she brought it to her lips in apology, once again, for her harsh judgment of his character. “I will tell them of overhearing some maids talking about having to set your room to rights, because you might return home today rather than tomorrow. That should satisfy them as the impetus for my precipitously deciding to tour the grounds in avoidance, should you return while we were still on your property.”
“Lizzy, tell them you sought shelter in the woods when it began to rain, and lost your way trying to return. I will speak of finding you after about an hour of searching. Your distress at seeing me was obvious. We then spent another hour reconciling the disagreement we had in Kent before making our way back to the house.”
“Good, that should satisfy them with regard the time. I will embellish that story once I am alone with my aunt and uncle.”
Will had completed dressing, and helped her with her buttons and tapes “I will invite the three of you to spend the day at Pemberley the day after tomorrow. That will be further evidence we have made amends.”
Lizzy returned to the dressing table and put up her hair. “Once I am alone with my aunt and uncle, I plan to tell them the disagreement was over Wickham. I will say, in Kent, you tried to warn me of his bad character, and I accused you of denying him a living. After Mrs. Reynolds’ confirmation of his being wild, they should not question my revelation of your dealings with him as the truth. It would be quite believable to them that your motive was to warn me to be careful in his presence.”
She reached into her pocket and pulled out his letter. As she suspected the words had run together and were no longer legible. The link to him she had treasured for months was thrown into the embers of their fire. The lock of his hair wrapped in the special paper took its place.
Lizzy collected her bonnet, but did not put it on. In deference to his preference, she would wait until they made their way out of the woods. He lifted her up and climbed on the horse behind her, once again encircling her to hold the reins. This time he pulled her tight against him and kissed her neck. His whispered hopes found an echo within her soul. “Lizzy, I will miss you. We must accomplish this marriage within the month, or I fear I may wither from longing. I have wanted you for ages, but after today I know just how exquisite it is to be with you. My ache for you will now be all the more acute.”
“As soon as my aunt and uncle and I leave to return to London, you must make your way to Hertfordshire. Once we are both there, we can begin to work on my parents. Oh, and Will, we must go back to Mr Darcy and Miss Elizabeth. We should begin practicing again on this ride. Do you not agree, Mr Darcy?”
He laughed saying, “I promise, Miss Elizabeth. I will try to remember.”
“Mr Darcy,” Lizzy smirked at the formality, but soon her countenance fell into seriousness. “I feel the need to explain something I told you earlier. When I met Wickham, I appreciated his handsome appearance, his charm and his pleasant words. He unlike you flattered me.” She felt his body stiffen with a cringe, and she chuckled silently. “Despite his pretty words and lovely looks, I never once felt the stirrings of desire you caused. I tried to replace you with him in my fantasies, but every time your face and body would supersede his. It angered me that the one I craved felt disdain for me, and my body ignored the one who’s admiring words and glances were given so freely.”
“Miss Elizabeth, you will never know how resentful I was when I saw you talking to him in Meryton. It was intense jealousy that propelled me to ask you to dance at the ball.”
“I knew not what to make of your request, but refused to believe Charlotte that you admired me. I concluded you ask to have an opportunity to find fault.” Once again, she felt Darcy’s chagrin. This time she felt compassion and not hilarity. “Despite my doubts, I could not force you from my dreams.” Lizzy sighed and said, “I do not want to talk about this anymore. Our misunderstandings are behind us.”
Again, Darcy kissed her neck. She turned and smiled. Before she turned back, she gave him one of her mischievous grins and completely changed the subject. “There are some additional things we need for the cottage. We need a chess set. I
have a strong desire to challenge you to a match.” The pink tip of her tongue appeared between her lips. He had learned from observing her it was a sign she was thinking and planning—in fact it was her chess expression. “Please get a copy of Tom Jones. My father told me I could not read it until I married. He read much of it to me, but censored other parts. If you obtain a copy for me, I will be able to ascertain what pleasure I was denied because of my chaste status. And Rabelais… I would like to read all of Rabelais. I have heard he is quite bawdy. Again, my father only allowed me to read that which he believed proper for a young lady. Of course, that means I was denied the right to read Mr Dafoe’s Roxana and Moll Flanders. However, I climbed to the top shelf of his library and found them. Please, Mr Darcy, procure them for me as well. I would like to read them more leisurely.”
“You must promise me, Miss Elizabeth, you will not fall into being a woman of easy virtue if I allow you to read these works.”
Continuing his teasing she said, “It was not particularly easy, but I think I have already fallen.” Anxiety with what she had done returned as they made their way back to her aunt and uncle. “Will… eh Mr Darcy, do you think I was wrong to insist… a proper young lady would have waited until we were married? I fear you will have second thoughts, and decide that I have been immoral and wanton, and could not possibly be the right sort of woman to be a sister to Georgiana and a wife to you… and dear me… a mother to your children.” Once again, weeping seemed about to overtake her. She spent a few seconds attempting to compose herself. “I assure you, I would never have done what I did if it had been anyone else but you.” She felt his arms stiffen at her admission. “I probably could have waited if you had not shown me the cottage… not that I am blaming you.” A sad sigh erupted as she continued, “You said in your letter my entire family except for Jane and me were without propriety. It seems I am no different.” She sniffed to block tears from running down her cheeks. “If the bed had not been there… and I had not read all your beautiful inscriptions… and you had not already pre-poked me… and seen me naked. Without all that, I am certain I could have waited. Besides, it is my fault we are not married.”
His arms tightened again but this time it felt like an act of comfort. “Lizzy, I mean Miss Elizabeth, first of all, it is more my fault than yours we are not married. Who am I to judge your morality… or your family’s, for that matter? We are now betrothed, and we decided to express our love for each other. I refuse to believe that a sin.”
They rode in silence contemplating the significance of his words until they were down the hill. Finally, Darcy spoke with mirth in his voice. “I do think you may be wanton. You were so very bold the second time we made love. If that be wanton, play on… as long as you are wanton with me alone.”
Lizzy donned her bonnet, and Darcy got off the horse and lifted her down. They walked the rest of the way to the house in the interest of appearances. Jeffries told them Mrs Reynolds and the Gardiners were having tea in the green parlour.
There were no slips in the usage of the appropriate names, and Lizzy in particular was very pleased at how adept she was at disguise. She, who had struggled to find the exact word she wanted to describe his rear, now had words persuasively rolling off her tongue as she told of eluding the rain and becoming lost until Mr Darcy found her. She felt confident that the story of their misunderstanding in Kent was accepted as much of her fabrication had a basis in truth.
Darcy accepted Mr Gardiner’s thanks for finding his niece, told him no apology for inconveniencing him was necessary, and requested the three spend the day at Pemberley two days hence. The prospect of fishing in Mr Darcy’s well-stocked lake diverted Mr Gardiner’s attention from the time this man had spent alone with his niece. The two ardent conspirators relaxed believing the illusion of propriety had been preserved.
After the Master of Pemberley had extended his invitation to the Gardiners, and they had accepted; Lizzy and her aunt and uncle returned to the Rose and Crown. As her aunt helped her dress for dinner, Elizabeth confided more particulars about their disagreement with regard Mr Wickham. Though Mrs Gardiner did not accuse her niece of having developed a tendre for Mr Darcy, she was beginning to believe both felt more for each other than they were willing to admit. Her observations left her suspicious of exactly what else had happened in Kent. They had been gone such a long time today before returning to the house. Also, the reserved Master of Pemberley and her niece had studiously avoided eye contact through most of the interview with her husband regarding their whereabouts. Lizzy had done most of the talking and her words had tumbled out at times as though she wanted to avoid too many questions. As they left, Mr Darcy had offered Lizzy his hand to help her into the carriage; and both displayed a fleeting look of longing reserved for those in love. She began to believe her niece might become Mistress of Pemberley.
Mrs Reynolds suspicions were renewed immediately upon hearing the story Miss Bennet related as to why she fled the house. She knew for certain what the maids were doing and they were not readying a room for Mr Darcy’s return today. It was more likely they spoke of his returning the following day with Mr and Miss Bingley, the Hursts and Georgiana. Her distress was caused by something else. Perhaps, the idle speculation that had been going on all summer among the maids about a mistress had been overheard. She was a polite young woman, and the housekeeper hoped her straying from the truth was merely an attempt to cover over the nature of the acquaintance with her employer from her aunt and uncle. While observing Miss Bennet during the tour and then later watching the two of them together, she had become persuaded that she was the cause of his struggle to cut himself free from, as he had put it, a ‘Gordian knot’ after Hertfordshire. Something more had added to his misery while in Kent, and Mrs Reynolds believed this one was at the heart of that as well. Both their demeanours said the two had resolved something today, and her firm belief was that a new Mistress of Pemberley would soon be forthcoming. The idea brought a smile to her face.
Darcy discussed with her Georgiana and the Bingley party’s arrival the next day and his expectations for the visitors he would host the following day. He seemed to want that occasion to be particularly special as his words were delivered with great warmth and he seemed to struggle to keep a grin from his face. Once he concluded making his wants known, he seemed anxious to leave. He told her he required no dinner, and left for parts unknown—as had been his habit all summer.
He returned to their cottage. While remembering their stolen afternoon of blissful lovemaking, he ate some bread and cheese and drank a glass of wine. He had no regrets they had made love and resolved to do everything in his power to marry her with no delay—just in case. All those months of agony caused by her refusal were behind him now. He would brook no opposition from her parents.
Lying in the bed, redolent with their lovemaking, he lovingly rubbed the spot of blood on the linens. It was proof positive of her inexperience, but that had not stopped her from acting with boldness. Her audacity was what men expected of courtesans—though of course Lizzy’s love making had not been the practised skill of a professional—nor had it been prompted by a desire for payment. He had a momentary fear that seeing Pemberley and the trappings of his wealth might have been her motive for accepting his second proposal. Had she believed a tumble would ensure his offer could not be withdrawn? A lascivious smile graced his face and his hand became busy pleasing himself as he replayed her bent-over bare bottom enticement. He refused to believe her motive was to secure material gain.
Once satisfied, his mind drifted to their meeting in Hertfordshire. For months he had pondered what had attracted him that evening at the Meryton Assembly. She had a fire in her eyes that drew him in… but the impact of what he saw there had startled him as well. As a man who prided himself on his ability to regulate all within his domain, alarm had forced him to turn away from the intensity of her gaze. Besides, the timing had not been favourable. Wickham had just tested his control at Ramsgate, followed all too
quickly by those demanding eyes confronting him at an inconsequential country dance populated by a flock of country bumpkins. His fear that she would disorder his life had prompted his rude words of dismissal that night. But his mind and body refused to comply with his orders. During their time together at Netherfield, she had forced him to defend many beliefs he held dear. Still, the intrigue with her had only increased with her every impertinent utterance. Finally, in Kent he had been driven to propose. It had seemed important at the time to speak to her of her inferior connections and the degradation of aligning with her, but it had not recommended his suit. He had never imagined she would be anything but compliant.
Once again, he compared her to the courtesans with whom he had honed his expertise as a lover. His father had taken him the first time at sixteen; and encouraged him to learn as much as he could of the ways of women’s bodies. He remembered his father’s words. “The pleasure in making love is as much about giving as it is about taking.” This woman whose love he had won, had not worn the paid-for pretence of half-closed eyes, above a sly smile. Lizzy’s face had been wreathed in an anticipatory grin, reminiscent of those children reserved for the flaming Christmas pudding when presented in all its glory. Her fine eyes had been wide open, and sparkling with a passionate promise of days and nights to come.
He fell asleep in their bed thinking of teaching her the art of making love in the future. He laughed at her hand directing his to her aroused nub. She was so demanding—nothing passive about his betrothed. He was, indeed, a lucky man.
He awoke determined that he would speak to Bingley as soon as possible after his arrival. Perhaps, the two could pay a visit to the Rose and Crown… that is if Bingley did not decide to return to London in anger at his interference.
Lizzy was relieved when she was alone in her room to think about what had happened. She had told the chambermaid she would bathe in the morning, hoping what traces of him still remained on her person would comfort her while she slept. Perhaps, her fantasies tonight would not be fragments that ended without culmination due to lack of her understanding of what should happen.
