by Riley Moreno
It was notable, however, that the two of them avoided talking about anything to do with their time in the marines. As they waited for their starters to arrive Jenna pointed this out.
“I've told you that I just want to forget about it,” Riley said.
“Yeah, I've been forbidden from talking about it. I don't have as much of a problem as Riley here. It was just a part of life, you know, just something that happened. We shouldn't try to run from it, we have to accept it.”
“That's a good attitude to have,” Jenna said, glaring at Riley. Riley rolled his eyes and shook his head.
“I'd just prefer to look to the future, that's all, Liam, what are your plans after you visit everyone?” he asked. Liam swallowed the food he was chewing before answered.
“Well, I want to see all the guys and I figure that way I'll get to see a lot of the country as well. I'm going to see if there are any places that appeal to me, and if they are I might stay around them for a little while. If not I'll just carry on my way, drifting through town. I always liked those old stories, did you ever read Jack London? He wrote about them a lot. There's something romantic about the idea of just riding the rails and going from place to place. I'm sure the reality of it won't be as appealing as in the stories but it can't be any worse than what we went through over there...oops, I'm not supposed to mention that, was I?” Liam said, wearing a wicked smile. Riley shot him a warning glance while Jenna leaned forward.
“What do you mean? What happened over there?” she asked.
“Oh, you know, the usual thing. I shouldn't really say anything about it, and not just because Riley doesn't want me to talk about it. You see, the other plan I have is to eventually write a book about my experiences over there. That's another thing I wanted to ask you actually, and I have to admit seeing all the guys isn't just a matter of catching up, so let's get down to business. I would like to write about my experiences and to make them as truthful and as honest as possible I would prefer to use real names, so would you be willing to let me use your name? If you don't then I'll make something up but I'd really prefer it if you allowed me to use your name.”
“Out of the question,” Riley said immediately. Liam looked disheartened.
“Oh, don't be like that, I think that would be wonderful! Think of it, your name could be in print. You'd be famous! I've been trying to tell him that he should write a book as well, good for you Liam.”
“I'd rather not have people poking their nose into my affairs. If you want to write the book then go ahead, but I'd prefer it if you didn't use anything of me. I guess you have to use what happened but just leave my name out of it. I want to leave that place behind.” Riley leaned back in his chair. A dark cloud formed around his head and he glowered. Jenna and Liam glanced at each other, sharing a look of mutual awkwardness.
“I just thought I'd ask, but that's fine, that's the reason why I wanted to check. I'll leave your name out of it if that's what you truly want,” he said, “but if you do want to write a book eventually let me know, maybe we can collaborate? It'd probably be better than both of us competing with each other.”
“Don't worry, I'm not going to write a book it's just something that Jenna wants me to do. I've already told her I'm not doing it.” There was a sharp tone to his voice that Jenna didn't like, and she wasn't fond of the way he was talking about her. She didn't want to make a scene in front of Liam but she vowed to herself that she would have words with Riley when they had a chance to be alone. Ignoring him for the time being, she engaged with Liam further.
“What made you want to write a book?” she asked.
“I always wanted to but it was one of those things that I never got around to doing. I guess I didn't think I had anything interesting to write about but after everything that happened I thought people might want to know, especially from someone who was over there.”
“Have you started it already?”
Liam tapped his head. “Most of it is up here, but I have a few notes written down. I know what the general story is going to be as well, it's just a matter of getting people's permission and then I can get around to writing it.”
“Well you'll have to let me know when you finish it so I can read it!”
“I'll be sure to send you a copy, but it's still a long road ahead. To be honest I wouldn't even mind if it never got published, I just think the act of writing a book would be a good reward. I mean, loads of people always say they want to write one but how many actually do it? Seems like it would take a lot of discipline and time, and at least when I die I can say that I wrote a book.”
“I guess it's a philosophical question isn't it, is a book a book if nobody reads it?”
“That's good, maybe I should get you to write the introduction.”
Jenna laughed and blushed a little, “Oh don't even go there I'm not much of a writer. I just work in a store, that's all.”
“Now that I don't care for. People always define themselves by what they do. You're more than that. We were more than marines, and now that we're not marines we're more than whatever we are now.”
“Right, this conversation is getting too deep for me. I'm going to go to the bathroom,” Riley said, excusing himself. Jenna watched him leave and there was a lull in conversation for a few moments.
“He's something, isn't he?” Liam said.
“Oh yeah, something is the right word,” Jenna replied. She knew what she wanted to say now that Riley had left them alone but she wasn't sure that she should. She'd promised Riley after all, and yet there was such a burning need to know what had happened while they served together. Surely one little story couldn't hurt?
“So Liam...” she began.
“Yes Jenna?” he said, and from his mischievous smile she could sense that he knew what she was thinking. She breathed in deeply, still not sure whether she should give into temptation. But Liam was like the serpent in Eden that handed Eve the apple.
“Would you like me to tell you a story about Riley?” he offered, and the way he dangled the forbidden fruit was just too much for her to bear. Before she could stop herself she found herself nodding. As Liam spoke she glanced in the direction of the bathroom, feeling guilty, almost like she was cheating on him somehow. But she couldn't stop herself, and listened to Liam intently.
“There are so many I could say but which one to choose? That is the question I suppose. You see Riley, I mean, when I first met him he was really outgoing and confident, the proper all-American hero. Everyone on the base loved him and he was a proper poster boy, I mean, if you had to have one person to be the epitome of America then he was it. We were a good group of guys, all of us were pretty close and we ended up being like brothers. Of course, not all of us made it home. The more we lost the more it took its toll on the ones who continued living. You always ask yourself why them, why not me? Do I really deserve to be here? But that's getting beside the point. You want to hear about Riley. The thing about your Riley,” and here he paused for dramatic effect, making Jenna's heart beat rapidly in excited anticipation. She didn't know if he was going to tell her some dark secret, that Riley had performed some evil deed, or if he was going to enlighten her and tell her that Riley was a champion of justice.
“He was...”
5
“...a hero,” Liam said, and Jenna released her breath with relief, suddenly realizing that she was holding it in.
“What did he do?”
“We were on a convoy, trying to get supplies to a nearby village. The enemy used to lay in wait so it was pretty dangerous, but they needed food so we had to do it. Riley was on point. We got to the village and everything was going well...too well. We were only there a couple of minutes when we realized that it was quieter than it should have been. Just as we started to call out to fall back, the gunfire started. Five of our men got shot down instantly. The rest of us managed to take cover but we were pinned down with no escape.”
“What happened?” Jenna asked in rapt attention. She le
aned forward and gazed at him with wide eyes, completely transfixed.
“The villagers came out to help us. Guess they didn't like being used for a trap, or they wanted their supplies. Either way they ran out, but the enemy didn't care about them either, and just directed their fire onto them. They didn't even have any weapons to defend themselves. The distraction gave us some time to react though. We poured out and started shooting back in the direction of the weapon fire. It was completely chaos. I mean, war was chaos most of the time but I had no idea what was going on. I was firing blindly, hoping that somehow we'd find our way out of it but then Riley...I don't know what got into him. There were kids running out of the houses trying to drag their parents inside. He ran out, firing, while he collected the kids and hauled them back into the houses. I thought for sure he was going to die but I guess in that moment he was protected by god or something. The bullets flew all around him but none of them hit him. Back and forth he went, and when he was done dragging the children back he took the villagers back too. Most of them were dead but some of them were only wounded. I don't know how many lives he saved that day but if he hadn't have taken all those kids back they would have been riddled with bullets and left there with the rest of them.
Eventually support came, and we managed to push back the attackers and made them run off. Riley was thanked by everyone. He got a medal for it as well. Some people said he was a fool for what he did but to most people he was a hero. He saw what needed to be done and he did it. He saw kids that needed to be save and he saved them. I don't know why he doesn't want to talk about the war with you but that's the kind of man you're with. You can always count on him, no matter what.”
He finished just as Riley returned to the table. When he came back he looked and Liam and Jenna, and then rolled his eyes. He threw the napkin down on the table.
“What did he tell you?” Riley asked.
“Nothing,” Jenna replied, “just that you were a hero,” she said, and looked back at Liam. With his return Jenna felt a surge of guilt, even though she didn't think she had anything to feel guilty about, especially not now she had heard what Liam had to say. But Riley was a stubborn man. He bristled with anger and glared at the both of them, like they had conspired to some great betrayal.
“Well he shouldn't have said anything. Let's go,” he said, and started to walk out without a second look. Jenna and Liam had no choice but to follow, although Jenna was furious. When they got out into the parking lot she screamed at him.
“What are you doing?! How dare you just walk out in the middle of dinner? You have a guest visiting you and this is how you treat him? I don't get you Riley, I really don't,” she said, and stood there, expecting an answer but he had none to give. Instead, he held the door open for her and waited until she got in the car. At first she didn't respond, not liking the fact that he was basically ordering her around and ruining her night. She tapped her foot on the ground and looked at him defiantly as he waited by the open door, getting angrier by the second.
“Come on Riley, it doesn't have to be like this. I know things were bad and it's not easy to come back home but there's no harm in talking about what happened. We can't run from it, that's not going to do anyone any good. It happened and we have to face it.”
“Is that it then? We can just all come home and be happy? Is that what you're going to tell Buzz when you see him? Just to move on? I'm sure that's going to work wonders,” Riley spat out. “Jenna, get in the car, we're going home,” he said. Still Jenna did not move. She was about to speak but Liam beat her to it.
“I don't know what is going to happen with Buzz but that's between the two of us. You know I didn't mean to shoot off his leg. It was a dumb mistake, and one I'm going to have to live with for the rest of my life but at least I'm not denying that it happened. And at least I have something I'm ashamed of! You're a hero Riley, why are you so adamant about refusing all the praise? Everyone looked up to you, everyone in our company wanted to be you. Do you know what it was like after you left? Everyone wanted to serve with me because of you. You were the example they followed. They always came up to me and asked me to tell them a story about you. What was I supposed to do? Tell them that you didn't want to think about it. You saved so many lives, more than you ever knew, and you gave a load of young men hope but if that's not good enough for you then I don't know what is. Maybe I should put that in my book, that would be a healthy dose of truth for people. I actually thought you'd be different, you know? I thought you'd be the one that would be living well and making a success of himself, but I see you're just as messed up as all of us. Well guess what, you don't have a monopoly on it Riley so don't act like a spoiled brat just because people want to celebrate what you did.”
Liam breathed heavily. His nostrils flared after the outburst and all three of them looked shocked at the words that had flown from his mouth. His chest heaved. Riley stared back at him. Jenna and Liam wondered what he was going to next, whether he would match Liam's volume or do something entirely different. The heavy shouting had drawn a crowd outside of the restaurant and Riley saw them. When Jenna saw his gaze move she looked back and saw them too, and finally began moving towards the car.
“You don't know what is going on in my head Liam so don't even try. I'm glad that people think well of me but that doesn't mean I have to feel good about myself. None of us came out of that place with any glory, least of all me. Anyone who says otherwise is just deluding themselves. So go write your book and put whatever the hell you want in it because I can tell you now that I won't be reading it. I don't want to spend one more minute thinking of that war, and if you want to quote me on that then go ahead. Now get in the damn car,” he said through gritted teeth. Liam had no choice but to comply.
Riley hit the throttle and the car roared off. None of them spoke as they left the parking lot and drove down the main street of the town. He gripped the wheel tightly while the other two were sitting in silence, fuming for different reasons. Riley breathed heavily and screeched around the corners, then he drove Liam back to his place and unceremoniously dumped him out. “Wait here. I'm going to take Jenna home then I'll come back for you,” Riley said, and drove Jenna home in silence. Jenna was sitting with her arms folded while Riley was focused on the road ahead. Neither of them spoke. When they reached Jenna's house she got out of the car and slammed the door. Riley hung his head, and then followed her inside. Jenna stormed forward and it was at the last second that Riley caught the door before it closed.
“Don't bother coming in,” she said when she heard Riley step forward. Riley looked like a lost puppy standing in the doorway. “How could you talk to your friend like that? All he wanted to do was catch up, share some stories and maybe relive some old memories. That's what you do with friends, you know? I'm really surprised at you tonight Riley. I've seen a side to you that I'm not sure I like, and I don't want to see it again. Please, just go and apologize to Liam and maybe I'll see you tomorrow. I need a bit of time to myself.”
As she said this he looked deflated. The spark of anger had faded from him and he looked much older than usual. He looked as though he might fall over at any second, and it was a pitiful sight. Jenna looked at him and realized that she couldn't just let him go without saying anything else. He was obviously dealing with some deep issues and Jenna couldn't just let him leave, not now, not when he needed her. She cursed the fact that she loved him because it would have been so much easier just to go their separate ways. He was about to turn when Jenna tapped her fist against her forehead.
“Wait,” she said, and Riley stepped in, shutting the door behind him. “Just please, tell me what's going on? All Liam told me was that you were hero and saved a bunch of people. Why would you not want me to know about that?” she asked, desperate to understand. “I want to help you, I want to be there for you but you're keeping this part of you closed off from me and it feels like nothing I can do will get me in. I can't go on like this Riley. This was such a big part of your life
and it's clearly affecting us. There's something that you're not telling me here. Was that story true? The way you've been acting I thought that Liam was going to tell me you committed some crime or were responsible for something dying or something. Please just help me to understand what happened over there, what made you feel like this, because right now all I know is that you were a hero and everyone is proud of you, but you haven't even told me that you got a medal and right now I don't feel like your girlfriend. I feel like a stranger, and that's not the type of relationship I want to be in.”
It was a difficult thing to say because Jenna honestly didn't know what the outcome of the argument would be. There were still so many things she didn't know about Riley and she was worried that the pain of telling her the truth would prevent him from opening up to her, and the ultimatum she gave him would be the end of them. She'd never felt this close to anyone before and the emotional pain seared her heart. It was affecting Riley too. His face flickered with a multitude of expressions as he fought within himself. Jenna just hoped that he'd choose the right decision, the one that would lead to them still being together because now that she had experienced life with him she didn't want to know what life was like without him. They had never argued like this before though, and Jenna was worried. Her last words ran around the room, hanging there like the sword of Damocles.
