by Riley Moreno
“I can imagine how he feels, it's probably how I'd be if I lost you,” he said, and Jenna smiled.
“I was like it too for a long time, but before she died she made me promise that I'd live and that I'd be happy.”
“Do you think you've lived up to that promise?” The question was so forthright that it struck at Jenna's heart and she was forced to face the truth of her life, although she couldn't bring herself to say it and the words stuck in her throat. The lingering silence was all Riley needed to know. “What are you regretting?” he asked.
“Just...I always wanted to leave. I mean, now that you're here I don't mind living here so much but the main reason I stayed was because of my dad. I don't think I could leave him now. I don't know how he would cope.”
“Maybe we could take a trip somewhere at least, it'd be nice to get away somewhere for a little while, we could go and relax on a beach and drink some cocktails, it'd be a world away from here,” he said.
“That sounds nice. You always have the best ideas.”
“I'm not just a pretty face,” he joked. They smiled at each other, with all the love in the world present in their shimmering eyes.
“I wish I could have met your mom,” he said softly.
“Me too. I think she would have liked you.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. She definitely would have approved. She always wanted me to fall in love, said that it was the best thing we can do. She loved history and philosophy as well, and used to tell me a lot of things, like did you ever hear about Plato's idea of love?”
“Who is Plato?” he asked, then laughed when Jenna slapped his chest. “Okay okay, I know who Plato is, but I don't know much of what he talked about.”
“Well, it's rather sweet actually. Basically they used to think that humans were formed out of clay, and they were separated into two separate beings, so basically the soul was torn in half, and while we wandered the earth we searched for the rest of us, and that's where the idea of soul mates come from. And we've wandered the earth and found each other.” Riley had a thoughtful look on his face.
“I like that,” he said, and smiled, then he wrapped his arms around her and rolled her over so that she was on her back. She felt his hot, strong body dominating her. His eyes looked longingly into hers and she knew that his soul burned for her. She felt the hardness of his body pressing against her, and she parted her legs and bit her lip in sweet anticipation of the exquisite hedonistic pleasure that was about to sweep through her body and seize her in a red, misty haze. She closed her eyes, pulled him into her for a deep kiss, and they whispered their vows of love as their bodies came together.
Then the phone rang.
Jenna and Riley dropped their heads and laughed.
“I'll just ignore it,” she said, and they continued kissing, waiting for the ringing to stop so that they could concentrate on each other once again. The silence reappeared and they were able to lose themselves to each others' body.
Then the phone rang again.
Jenna sighed with exasperation.
“You'd better get it, it might be important,” Riley said, pushing himself up as though he were doing a press-up, allowing Jenna to lean over and grab her phone. It was Emily on the other end of the line.
While Jenna spoke on the phone Riley bent down and kissed her neck, trying to tease a little bit of pleasure out of the interruption.
“What is it?” Jenna asked, but as soon as she heard Emily crying on the other end of the phone she pushed Riley off and sat up. “Oh my God what happened? Are you okay?” she asked, but Emily's words were unintelligible. “I'll be over there right away,” she said. She pushed Riley off and gave him an apologetic look.
“What's going on?” he asked.
“I couldn't understand her, all I know is that's she's crying. I'm sorry, but I have to go and see her.”
“It's okay, we'll just pick this up later,” he said, and kissed her deeply while she quickly pulled on some clothes.
2
Jenna hated leaving Riley like that, especially when they were just about to make love. She thought about him pleasuring himself in her absence and the frustration only swelled within her, but she couldn't leave Emily alone when she had given her a literal call for help, Jenna only hoped that it wouldn't take that long, and that she could get back to Riley as soon as possible. Ever since they had gone through their rough patch they'd been taking great delight in each other and his body was quickly becoming an addiction for her, already she was suffering from withdrawal symptoms.
When she reached Emily's apartment she knocked on the door and when Emily appeared Jenna knew that the situation was dire. Emily was wearing a stained t-shirt. Her eyes were puffy, raw, and red and the tracks of her tears were visible on her face. In one hand she clutched some damp tissues. The curtains were drawn, blocking out the sunlight, and the first thing Jenna did when she got inside was to open them. The apartment was a mess and she'd never seen anything like it. Emily was usually so happy and enthusiastic, that to see her in this state was astonishing.
“It's over. He's left me,” she groaned, and then burst into tears. Jenna sat by her side and held her close, feeling her trembling, shuddering body as tears streamed down her face. Jenna made soft, comforting noises, and just held Emily until she was ready to talk.
It took a while, but eventually the wails of pain turned into soft sobs, and Emily was able to form coherent words. She kept her head resting against Jenna's shoulder, and Jenna kept a tight hold of her friend.
“Tell me slowly what happened,” Jenna urged, trying to coax the truth out of Emily.
“We were having a nice time as always. I cooked dinner for him and we went out to a movie, but there was something off about it, like he was distant. He wasn't looking at me in the same way as he usually would and he didn't touch me, like usually he'd have his hand around my waist or something. And then when I suggested going out the next night he shook his head and said he couldn't so I figured maybe he was just tired and I asked him if he wanted to stay in instead, so we did, but even then he wasn't talking like he used to. I had to force myself to cuddle up to him and he wouldn't put his arm around me...it was like he didn't want to be there.”
“That's weird,” Jenna said.
“I know, and I felt like I was dying inside. I ended up going to bed and thought he'd join me, but I woke up later and he still wasn't in bed. I went downstairs and he was just sitting there in the dark with the moonlight streaming through the window. He'd been drinking. I could smell the whiskey hanging in the room. I went up to him and I asked him what was wrong. He lifted his glass and took another long gulp of his drink, then swirled the glass around. He turned his head but when he looked at me he wasn't really looking at me, if that makes sense. It was just like he was somewhere else. When I put a hand on his arm he jerked it away and got up, then walked across the other side of them. I asked him what was wrong, asked him why he didn't want to be near me. Was it something I did? Something I said? But he couldn't give me an answer. He turned his back towards me and looked out of the window. He told me that sometimes things just aren't meant to be, that we had our time and that was all there was to it. He told me that what we had was just a fling and it didn't really mean anything, it couldn't because there were too many years between us. He threw it all back in my face, said I was young enough to be his daughter and we shouldn't delude ourselves into thinking that we had anything genuine.
I begged him to stop. I couldn't believe that he was saying such things about us. We'd talked about that when we'd first got together. I reminded him. We had said that it didn't matter to us, that we were just two people who had found each other and nothing else mattered. I thought he understood. I was happy with him. I didn't want things to change. I didn't need things to change. But when I told him that he just wouldn't listen and he wouldn't speak either. I tried to get him to tell me something else, anything, to give me a good reason as to why he wanted to break up
with me but he just kept saying that it was wrong and it wasn't proper, that I deserved someone who was a better fit. I don't care about that. All I wanted was him and he just threw it back in my face. Then he told me to leave in the morning and that we shouldn't see each other again. I've tried calling him but he won't answer. I don't know what I'm going to do when I have to go back to the store. It's going to be hell seeing him again. I just don't understand why he'd say things like that. What does it mean?” she said, and then, emotionally drained, she choked on her breath. Jenna handed her a glass of water and made Emily drink it.
“I don't know, it seems odd why he'd say that now after all this time. If the age was such an issue then why both going out with you in the first place?”
“And it really didn't matter to me, I mean, when we were together I just forgot all about it. And really he's not that old. He's only 54, and he's in really good shape. Nowadays that's still pretty young I mean a lot of people live into their 90s.”
“Are you sure he didn't say anything else?”
“No, he just acted like he didn't want to know me, and he didn't even want to discuss it. I thought I meant more to him than that. I thought we had something real and meaningful but he just acted like it was easy enough to throw it away without a second thought.”
“And you haven't spoken to him at all since?”
“It only happened last night. I tried to call him this morning when I got home. I just want to understand, to know why all this happened, but he wouldn't pick up. I'm supposed to go back to the store tomorrow. How am I going to face him?” she asked, and Jenna was moved by the sheer agony in Emily's voice.
“It'll be okay, you know, these things happen and sometimes you just never know why people do what they do. Obviously he has his reasons, all you can do is try and cope with it. And I'm here to help you do that. I know it's not going to be easy and that you really liked him-”
“I love him,” Emily said, and coughed on her own tears again.
“Oh, wow, I didn't realize it had gotten that far.”
“He told me that he loved me too!” Emily said, and began sobbing again. Jenna's top was soaked with the salty tears cascading down Emily's cheeks and she didn't know what to say or what to do. There were so many things running through Jenna's mind that just seemed like empty platitudes, so instead of saying anything she just sat with her friend and did her best to be there for her. The hours went by and still Emily cried. Jenna wondered how long she was going to have to stay with her for. Occasionally the weeping was broken up by Emily yelling to the heavens, trying to get to some understanding of what had happened but Jenna knew that sometimes these things just didn't go to plan. Secretly, she suspected that there was something else going on because it struck her as odd that Mr. Johnson would change so dramatically, but love was often an unpredictable and elusive thing, and often it slipped away as quickly as the night.
Eventually Emily settled down.
“Are you going to be okay if I go home?” Jenna asked. “I'll stay if you want me too, but it is getting late.”
“I'll be okay,” Emily said, nodding gently, I just don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow. Part of me can't face seeing him but I have to go into work.”
“Well, how about I come and pick you up and we'll go in together. I'll be right there if you need me,” she offered. Emily smiled and her spirits seemed to be lifted.
“Thank you so much for being here, I'm so glad that you're my friend.” The two young women hugged tightly, and Jenna told Emily that if she needed her just to call. After she left, Jenna's thoughts were with her friend and hoped that something could be done because, despite the age difference, the two of them had made a good match.
3
When Jenna returned home she was about to head upstairs to get back to Riley when her father interrupted her and asked to speak to her in the lounge. He had fully recovered from his stroke, and was able to go back working at the store full time, although Jenna still advised him against it because he was supposed to be taking it easy. But, he still seemed like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, and it pained Jenna to see that he wasn't taking any joy from life. He walked into the kitchen and took a seat at their round table, and placed his hands in front of him.
“Is everything okay?” she asked as she took a seat opposite him, and sat with her back straight, while he was hunched forward. When he spoke it was in a soft voice and he did not look up at her.
“I've been thinking a lot recently about a great many things. Seeing you take care of me was pleasing and I'm glad that you were here, but it made me realize how much I miss your mother. It's very difficult for me to live without her. I thought it would get easier over time but it only ever seems to get more difficult and I'm not sure when it's going to get any better, if at all. All around there are reminders of her and I know she wouldn't want me to keep living in the past but it's so hard to forget her when she was all I ever wanted in life. For the longest time I didn't know how to live without out, and I still don't think I do, but suffering from that stroke was a wake-up call. It made me realize that I don't have that much time left and I'm not always going to be around. When I think of your mother I don't remember her as the frail woman lying in bed with tubes sticking into her body,” being reminded of that made Jenna wince inside, “I think of the first time we met when she was laughing, or the way she used to skip over puddles like she was a child. She used to look at everything with wonder and I get the feel that she'd be upset with me if she knew that I was living like this. I want to live my life as a testament to her, to embrace the years I have left and try and find some semblance of happiness.”
“What are you saying?” Jenna asked, somewhat confused.
Her father took a heavy sigh and finally looked up at her. She looked into his wide, chocolate-brown eyes and tried to amalgamate the man that was sitting in front of her with the man that had raised her. He had been a strong man once, now he looked gaunt and weak. His skin was sallow and his hair had thinned rapidly, the ever-receding hairline giving way to a domed scalp. His hands trembled slightly when he moved them and it was a sin against the world that he hadn't been allowed to grow old with the woman he loved.
“I've been thinking about the future a lot, not just mine but yours as well. I know that you sacrificed a lot to stay here and part of me has always regretted that. I wanted you to be able to live the life you wanted because you were meant for more than staying in this town.”
“It's okay dad, if I hadn't stayed here then I wouldn't have met Riley so I'm glad I didn't move away. And I know I complain about it sometimes but it isn't all that bad really. I have Emily, and I do like working at the store.”
“But you could have been so much more and I feel like I've failed as a father,” he said, and his eyes glistened with tears.
“Oh dad...” she said, and reached out a hand to squeeze it with sympathy. He sniffed back the tears and tried to compose himself.
“I have some things I've been thinking about and they affect you so I want your input. I'm thinking about selling the store and moving to somewhere with a warmer climate that's more of a community for me so I won't have to be a burden on you, and you won't have an excuse to stay here any longer. The other option is that I leave the store to you, and you can be the manager and take it over. It's up to you which one you want but I don't want you to decide right away. I want you to think about it because it's a big decision,” he said. Jenna was stunned as he left her.
“You've always been a good daughter, and I'm so proud of you,” he said, kissing her on the cheek as he left the room. Many thoughts were rolling around her mind as she numbly walked up the stairs. Riley was waiting for her and pulled her into bed, peppering her with kisses as she entered the room, but it only took a few moments for him to realize that she had something else on her mind.
“Is everything okay?” he asked. Jenna looked at him with a confused expression on her face, for even she wasn't s
ure. They sank on the bed and she proceeded to tell him about everything, Jenna and her father. When she had finished Riley processed it all.
“That's, I mean, that's a good thing, right? You've been saying how your father needed a new lease of life.”
“Yeah, but this is leaving everything he's ever known!”
“It does mean that we could start a new life somewhere, or we could follow in your parents' footsteps and run a store,” he said. “It kinda appeals to me, y'know, just having a small store in a hometown where we can know everyone's names and we can greet them as they come in,” but while he spoke with enthusiasm she was still sitting there looking into distance. Faced with a choice that she never thought she would get she didn't know which path to choose. For so long she had wanted to leave the town but had stayed for her father, or had it really been for her father? Had it just been an excuse for her to remain in her comfort zone.
Riley tilted her head towards him and took her hands in his, trying to shake her from her state of shock.
