by Burke, Dez
“Men like Ivan need time to figure out what they really want,” Martha commented with a
knowing smile. “And sometimes, it has to smack them in the face first before they realize it.”
Olivia had to smile at that, the words striking her deep. Maybe her mother was right; even
though she didn’t know in what context Olivia was choosing to take it. What if all Ivan really needed was time? Olivia certainly wasn’t going anywhere – and she had no intention of making the same
dumb mistake of seeking companionship or sex elsewhere. She’d waited so long to get even this close to Ivan, but was she ready to wait even more for the vague possibility that he’d realize his mistake?
“Well, for now I’m sure romance is the last thing on his mind,” her Mother added, breaking into
Olivia’s troubled thoughts. Olivia frowned at her mother’s sober tone.
“Why?” Olivia asked curiously.
“He’s been called up for another assignment. He’ll leave first thing in the morning tomorrow.”
Olivia felt her heart sink just by hearing those words. She always felt that lurch of pain in her
chest whenever she knew he was going out on a mission. In a moment, she forgot how angry he’d
made her feel in the past several weeks.
“I invited him over tonight; I just thought it would be great to cook him a marvelous “going
away” dinner,” Martha added airily, her back to Olivia as she tended to her plants. “I hope you’ll make it, dear. You’ve missed a few of the family dinners in the last two weeks. I’m making all of
Ivan’s favorite dishes.”
Olivia bit on her lips and tried not to think of the reason for that. She’d been resenting Ivan for his decision about them, and also for getting back with his ex Molly. She could have forgiven him any other chick; but for some reason knowing he was with Molly just got her hackles rising. She’d done all she could to avoid being there when he brought his reunited girlfriend to what used to be their intimate family dinners. Was he trying to send some kind of message?
Pushing those thoughts to the back of her mind, Olivia sighed as she made her decision. Turning
to her mother, she replied, “I’ll be there, Mom.”
Chapter Ten
Ivan Lance had always taken pride in his sense of discipline and honor. Not just as a Marine,
but as a man. He’d been so sure that when it came to his baser instincts, he was the master of self-control.
Nothing – and no one, could ever seem capable of making him give up his integrity.
But when it had come to Olivia, Ivan felt that he’d ended up failing to sustain the strength he’d
become so proud of.
His motto had always been: Save the day; rescue the prisoners – or blow up the bad guys.
Whatever needed to be done to ensure the safety of the innocent, Ivan would do it and not look back.
How he’d prided himself in all he’d achieved so far: gaining the respect of his squad mates and
his commanders – and earning his place among America’s elite warriors. He’d built a track record he felt he could be proud of – ensuring that whatever happened, he could always maintain his self-respect and sense of honor.
But where was the honor in sleeping with an impressionable young female? Sure, Olivia was
above legal age – an adult at twenty two. But she’d been untouched, even vulnerable. And practically a family member.
How could he have taken advantage of that?
She’d run to him for protection, and what did he do?
He should have stood his ground and provided what Olivia had really required: a shoulder to
lean on, a friend…And yet instead of maintaining his hard-worn resolve…Ivan had fallen at the first hurdle - and taken her virginity. Not once, not twice…but all through the night.
The shame of what he had stooped to made him sick. He had let Olivia down and her family by
giving in to his basic needs.
His upcoming mission would be one of the toughest he’d ever been placed on. There was zero
leeway for slip-ups – they had to succeed. Innocent lives were at stake.
It didn’t help that this was to be a small team – just three of the best in his platoon. And he
would be one of them.
There were so many times in the past week he’d keyed in Olivia’s numbers, just to hear her
voice, to know she was okay. But she’d been ignoring his calls for weeks, and practically cold-
shouldered him whenever they met at the house. And ever since Molly and he hooked up again, getting in touch with Olivia had proved impossible.
He hoped she’d be there at the house tonight. For a reason he couldn’t explain, he wished to see
her before he left early the next morning. This was the first time he had a bad feeling about a mission.
Maybe because it was so dangerous and they couldn’t take more than three team members on the
assignment. A covert ops mission sanctioned by the president himself, it was going to be the most
daring feat ever, requiring razor-sharp precision. Nothing could go wrong.
It was good he’d have a few hours of relaxing during dinner to put his mind off the upcoming
mission. Martin and his sweet wife, Martha, were waiting with welcome, encouraging words. Olivia
was nowhere around when Ivan arrived, and when he asked, Martha said that Olivia would try to
make it but wasn’t sure.
A few minutes before dinner was to be served, Olivia arrived. Just like that, Ivan’s heart lifted.
Seeing her appear looking so feminine and beautiful in her demure green dress draped over her
gorgeous figure made the stirring in his heart give him cause to worry. It wouldn’t do to let her know how he really felt…
She was less distant to him than before, but he could still sense her tension. He figured she
knew about him and Molly. Ivan now felt like an idiot for taking Molly back when the redhead had
come begging a few weeks ago. Telling him she’d always loved him but hadn’t been happy with his
detached attitude to her feelings. This time, she’d promised, she’d give him the space he needed in their kind of relationship. Ivan felt guilty now for using her, but all she really was to him was a kind of foil to keep him from missing Olivia. And to keep Olivia from having any ideas about changing his mind.
And yet now…sitting close to her at the table – catching the faint waft of her sexy scent and
seeing the way her long black hair tossed silkily over her bare shoulder…It was so easy for Ivan to see that he just might be missing his chance with the one woman who’d ever drawn out the fire in him.
It was too late now anyway. He’d pushed her too far away and she probably wanted nothing
more to do with him. Which was just as well, he decided. With him going on a mission tomorrow,
one that left a twist in his gut at the chances of him making it back in one piece…Maybe it was best not to have any distractions. Olivia would never really be his and he had to keep reminding himself of that fact.
Dinner was perfect, as usual, so much so because no one really alluded to the fact that he’d be
leaving tomorrow. Once the meal was over, Olivia made her excuses, saying she needed to catch a
cab home. Without thinking, Ivan offered to drop her off. He could see she wanted to refuse, but
seemed to reconsider it. Perhaps, she didn’t want to make her parents think there was any friction between the two of them.
Ivan didn’t really care about the reason. He simply knew he’d be glad for the few extra minutes
around her before he had to go home alone, and sleep things off before he had to make it on base by nine am the following morning.
As he expected, she wasn’t very communicative on the drive to her place. Ivan’s gaze was<
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drawn to her lovely profile more times than he could count. If he’d thought his attraction to her would have waned over the past weeks, he was so wrong. With her just inches away, it was all he could do not to reach for her and just bury himself in her sweet smelling embrace.
At last, they arrived and almost at once, she said a hasty goodnight and made to leave. Ivan said
quietly, making her pause, “You know I’m going off on a mission tomorrow?”
He couldn’t be sure in the shadowy confines of the Jeep, but he thought he saw a pained wince
cross her face. “Yeah. I guess…well, I hope you’ll be okay,” she said, shrugging jerkily.
“Me too, trust me,” he rejoined, suddenly chuckling. His hand reached out before he could stop
himself, and he tucked a strand of her glossy hair behind her ear. She seemed to start at his touch, and he withdrew slowly, reluctantly. Damn. It would be hard leaving and driving home to his empty
apartment.
Every part of him wanted to be with Olivia, just to be close to her presence which seemed to
have the most calming effect on him. Around her, everything seemed balanced. She brought a peace to his soul at this point in his life that he was beginning to realize how important the little things were.
“So…I’m hoping you’ll miss me, little dove. If just a little bit,” he teased.
Her beautiful eyes flashed up at him suddenly. “Oh, I’m sure you have enough people out there
to miss you. Your dear Molly, for example.”
The jealous tone in her voice made his heart surge with delight. She still cared. That felt good;
fleeting though the pleasure was.
At last, he sighed deeply. “About Molly and I…we’re simply going through a trial phase,” he
finally confessed honestly. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you this…but I haven’t…well, I’m not sleeping with Molly. We haven’t taken our reunion quite to that stage yet.”
She was looking away so Ivan couldn’t tell how she was taking that morsel of information. It
didn’t really matter. At least his conscience felt better; he hated to think Olivia had been hurt thinking he’d jumped straight in between Molly’s legs so soon after he’d shared that monumental night with
her.
Olivia gave that jerky shrug again. “Interesting, Ivan. But trust me, I don’t wish to be privy to
your bedroom tidbits just as I’m sure you’d rather not be privy to mine.”
“Oh, that’s where you’re wrong,” Ivan drawled, his eyes narrowing as he turned to her with
darkened interest. “I think I do want to know. I’d hate to think you’d go on the rebound, getting hooked up with the wrong sort.”
Olivia huffed, finally facing him, her eyes stormy. “Well, surprise, Ivan; it’s actually none of
your business. Who I see…and who I fuck – has nothing to do with you. You gave up the chance to
have a say about that when you told me what we’d shared was not worth building on.”
The hurt look that suddenly flashed in her eyes pierced him straight in his chest. “Olivia…”
“You know what? I’ll say goodnight now. I’m sure you’ll need your rest. And I’ve had a long
day, so…”
“No goodnight kiss? For good luck?” he asked, the same teasing light in his voice though he
knew his eyes blazed with banked flames. He wondered if she could tell how much he wanted…
craved her right then. How he so wished he hadn’t drawn those invisible boundaries that made it
impossible to cross them now.
“I…,” she began, and he heard the soft quake in her voice. At last, she sighed deeply, and then
slowly leaned forward. She aimed for his cheek but with a quick motion of his head, he got her to
plant her kiss on his mouth instead. She gasped, but didn’t pull away. Ivan resisted the urge to crush her body to his and instead, slanted his lips gently over hers. It was like partaking in a symphony; all that harmony of sensations bursting forth and merging his soul instantly with hers. How could a kiss do that? Ivan was floored.
He wasn’t surprised when she pulled back suddenly, looking flustered. Hell; he couldn’t seem
to keep his head from spinning himself.
“I have to go,” she said shakily, clutching her purse.
“Yeah; you do,” was his somewhat grim reply.
Because if she didn’t leave now, he was inches away from ravaging her right there in the Jeep.
Thankfully, she didn’t say another word but raced out from the car much the same way she had exactly two months ago when he’d dropped her off after their one night together. He watched the front door close after her, and it suddenly felt like his one chance at future happiness was locked away from him forever.
Chapter Eleven
Olivia backed up against the door, shaking so hard she felt she was going to be sick. She willed
the tears of pain not to fall as the most paralyzing agony seized her whole body. Just knowing that Ivan was going to be gone – for who knew how long this time, made her feel like her whole life was over. What if something bad happened to him? What if he got badly hurt – or worse, never came
back? He’d been somewhat somber at dinner, even beneath all his humor and wide smiles. She’d
sensed the tension in him and she knew she’d have done anything – no matter what it took – to ease the strain he might be feeling just before he had to go on a dangerous mission.
But Ivan didn’t need anything from her – certainly didn’t need her compassion. At that very
moment, he would be driving off home anyway…probably into the waiting arms of Molly. Maybe she would have the chance this time to make his last night before his next assignment a memorable one…
In a split second, Olivia wished with all her heart that she was wrong. That Ivan would be
yearning for her just as much as she was craving him at that moment.
And just then, Olivia stiffened as she realized that, standing there against the door and
unconsciously waiting for his Jeep to drive off, that she’d heard nothing to that effect. It was more than a minute since she’d sped into the house, and he still hadn’t left. Or had he?
When the soft peal of her doorbell sounded seconds later, she almost didn’t allow her heart the
chance to hope, or even breathe. The next moment, she was flinging open her door to find Ivan leaning against the frame. Her heart tumbled to the pit of her belly as she stared speechlessly up into his handsome face.
“Olivia,” he said softly. And that was all he said. Right before he was inside, scooping her in
his arms and kicking the door shut after him with his booted foot. As always, he amazed her with how quickly and lithely he moved, like some huge jungle feline. Gasping, her fingers clutched at his
shoulders as he hefted her up by his arms wrapped around her upper thighs. This brought her lips
level with his, and she was instantly devoured by his hot, piercing kiss.
Happiness, bewilderment and plain smoking lust wrestled within her disordered senses as he
beloved kissed her like a man starved. “The bedroom,” he rasped against her panting lips, and still unable to speak, Olivia could only point out the right direction. Not putting her down on her feet, he carried her straight there, his steps purposeful as he moved quickly with her in his arms like she weighed nothing.
It didn’t occur to Olivia at anytime to protest. To ask him what he meant by this. Because none
of that even mattered. He needed this – and she did too. So much that she was just as quick and adept at tearing off his clothes as he was in ripping off hers once they reached the bedroom.
Once they were both naked, he swung her into his arms again and draped her over the nicely
made bed. Desire of the most primal kind rushed through her and she was
a mass of shivers when he
took hold of her knees and pushed them far apart, exposing her sex to his hungry gaze.
But then she felt a sudden burst of shyness as Ivan pushed his shoulders into the space between
her spread thighs. Instinctively, her hand fell on her smooth-shaven pussy mound. She found herself warm and drenched straight through, which made her close her eyes with a shamed quiver. He’d
practically ignored her for weeks and now with just a kiss, he’d melted down her defenses.
When would she stop being such a fool?
She felt the brush of his lips against her shielding hand. His tongue snaked in through the gaps of her fingers, making her whimper as she forced her eyelids open. His head was bent close to her sex, his eyes shut while he kissed gently on her knuckles, before slipping his mouth around one fingertip and sucking softly. Olivia gasped with pleasure at the erotic sensations he evoked with his tongue rolling round her finger, his mouth warm and moist. The knowledge that the wet heat of that mouth and tongue was so close to her pussy made arousal prickle through her every nerve ending.
“Ivan…,” Olivia said on a moan, unsure if she was about to stop him or urge him on.
But he didn’t respond, except to open his eyes and pull aside her fingers, revealing her swollen
labia. Olivia almost couldn’t breathe as she watched him feather over the folds of her pussy with his fingertips. When he brushed his thumb over the hood that barely concealed her hardening clit, Olivia bucked as volt of electricity zipped from her center to all parts of her body.
She couldn’t describe how it felt to have him touch her so intimately, like no man had ever
come close to doing. He didn’t tear his eyes away from her wet, throbbing pussy which he began to
stroke with an expertly tender and patient touch.
“Tonight we’re going to go slow…really slow,” Ivan told her softly, at last looking up into
Olivia’s dazed face, her features feeling almost slack with bliss. Olivia’s heart lurched with even more emotion when he added, “Because I want this to be engraved in my memory, keeping me warm
