When they were inside his house, each holding a cup of hot tea in their hands, she sat next to him on the couch and tried to figure out where and how to start.
“I want you safe, Melody. You don’t need to tell me every secret, but I want to know why someone left a bloody ballet shoe behind your place, and why you had those flowers. I remember those even though you said they were nothing.”
She set down her mug and faced him. “I was a ballet dancer. Though I guess you probably already knew that about me.”
He set his cup down next to hers on the worn table before taking her hand and giving it a squeeze. He didn’t say anything, just let her talk, and for that she was grateful.
“I had a natural talent. My mother did, too, just like Grandma Pearl. But while Grandma Pearl went to Vegas to be a showgirl as you know, my mother wanted to do something…classier.” Melody rolled her eyes, remembering the fights the two women had gotten into over the years, their verbal sparring filled with love and sometimes a bit of bitterness that always coated her tongue. “So she went into ballet, but while she was a fantastic dancer, at least according to her, she didn’t have what was needed to attend Juilliard, the height of her ambitions before going to dance for a company. So when she found herself with a little girl who loved to twirl, she put all of her energy into my dancing. Everything she had. And my father let her. He pushed me, as well, but it was different for him because he was the one who paid for things while Mom was the one who told me I had to be a dancer. If I didn’t love dancing so much, I don’t know what would have happened. But what did happen was that I let my stern parents who put their whole lives into shaping mine, and who told me over and over again that I had talent I couldn’t waste…well, I let them turn me into someone I hated. Only I didn’t hate that person at the time. I was the mean girl. The dancer who thought she was top shit, and no one could bring me down. Along with four of my friends—two girls, two boys—the five of us ruled the dancing world in our community and then at Juilliard.”
Melody licked her lips, but when she considered stopping, Fox gave her hand another squeeze, and she was able to speak again.
“I wasn’t a good person. I looked down on anyone in my way and below me. I thought that I could do no wrong. And one night before we were all set to leave school and go into our companies to rule the world, all five of us had far too much to drink. We were drunk, stupid, and because we thought no one and nothing could touch us, we drove.”
She closed her eyes, the memories of what happened next slamming into her.
“I wasn’t driving. I was in the back seat. Freddie was driving because he drove the best while drinking. The fact we even thought that makes me hate myself even more. Jake was in the passenger seat. Candice was to the right of me. And Sarah to the left.”
“Oh, baby.”
“You know what I said when we got into the car? I said, ‘Oh, it’s fine. We’re not that drunk. We’re fucking Juilliard dancers. Nothing can touch us right now.’” This time, tears fell, but she didn’t brush them away, she deserved the shame.
“Freddie took a turn too quickly, and we rolled four times, hitting a pole. Freddie, Jake, and Candice died on impact. Sarah broke both her legs, a few ribs, and cracked her skull open.” Melody let out a shaky breath. “I had a severe concussion, broke my wrist, and shattered my knee. Sarah’s career was over. My career was over. And three of my best friends were dead because we thought we were better than everyone else and didn’t have to follow the rules.”
“Jesus Christ.” Fox moved to wrap his arms around her, but she pulled away, shaking her head.
“Sarah never forgave me, and I don’t blame her. Yes, she was drunk, too, but I ended up with the least scars. And I had been the one to say the words. The others’ parents, families, and coaches put all of their blame on the two of us, and I left the area as soon as I could. There were no formal charges since we were legal drinking age, barely, and neither of us was driving, but I know what we deserved. I wasn’t driving, but I let it happen because of my bad decisions. The choices I made helped kill three people and almost killed two more. And we could have killed countless others with our recklessness.”
“Melody, yes, you made the wrong choice, but you can’t blame only yourself.”
“You can say that, but I’m still going to. I can’t help it. No amount of therapy and time will ever take that away. My parents practically disowned me once I was not only broken goods but also a stain on our family legacy. Mom died of cancer two years later, and Dad ended up dying of a heart attack far too young the year after that. I moved around for years, trying to figure out who I was while finding out if I could be the person I needed to be once I found a place to settle down to form roots. I’d thought Whiskey was that place. Hell, I thought maybe this whole baby thing was a way I could find roots with you.” She hadn’t meant to be that honest, but she was already baring the worst of her soul, she might as well come clean entirely. “Grandma Pearl doesn’t look at me any differently for what I did, and I hope you don’t either, but no matter what, I know that I’ll have this child and always wonder what might have happened if my friends had been able to have children of their own. That will never go away. I need you to know why being with me could be a mistake.”
Fox reached out and pulled her into his lap, his arms tight bands of steel that refused to let go. And because he kissed her softly, holding her as she let the tears fall once again, she let him cradle her, let him care for her, even if she felt as though she didn’t deserve it.
“You’re not a fucking mistake. You made one, yes, and you paid for it. And if whoever is threatening you is part of that, then you’re still paying for that mistake. But we’ll fix it. We can’t bring them back, can’t make it so you never get in that car, but we can make whoever is coming after you stop. I won’t let you get hurt again. We all have parts of us who we aren’t anymore. We’ve shed those past lives even within the few short years we get. I don’t see the mean girl you spoke of. I see a woman who worked her ass off for her studio and didn’t let a little thing like pregnancy derail her. You’re working your ass off, and I’m so proud of you. I just wish you didn’t have to go through that in order to find the woman you’ve become. And I’m not letting you go, Melody. Not now, and maybe not ever. I know we said no promises, but I think we’re past that. Now let me hold you, and then we can figure out the next steps, but for now, just let me hold you.”
So she let him hold her, let him try to soothe what she thought might never be fully comforted. And while she could fall into him in that moment, she knew she still had to be careful. Because he might know the facts, but time could change everything.
And she’d already lost everything once because of her wrong choices.
She couldn’t lose it again.
Chapter 18
The next day while Melody stayed with her grandmother, Fox did his best not to start throwing things in stress and complete anger. He couldn’t even pick up his normal things to juggle when he needed to think because he wanted to punch something and would probably end up throwing the balls at someone’s head or something that could break.
He knew Whiskey had its issues. All towns did. Hell, his brother and Kenzie had almost been hurt by her ex-husband in Dare’s bar, but he still couldn’t believe someone was doing what amounted to stalking to Melody.
The police might have said they could handle it, but he wasn’t sure he could leave her alone for long. He needed to be by her, needed to make sure she and the baby were okay. It didn’t matter to him that he had to work and deal with his family; he just wanted to make sure that Melody was by his side and under his care. He knew it was overprotective, but someone was threatening the woman he was falling for, the woman carrying his child, and he didn’t know what else to do.
Those at his work that morning had asked if there was anything to report about the police being called to Melody’s after the party, but he’d dodged them just like the detectives. There was tru
ly nothing to report, even in a small town where gossip was just as important to the town’s perspective as the news. Thankfully, his staff seemed more worried about Melody than wanting answers that he didn’t have.
He did, however, talk to his brothers and his parents about what had happened. He hadn’t given them many details, as those were Melody’s secrets to tell and not his, but at least the others now knew to keep their eyes open for anything that might seem out of place. Loch was already grumbling about adding new security to Ms. Pearl’s home as well as to the studio itself. Fox was pretty sure the house already had top-of-the-line security thanks to Loch, but he wasn’t going to argue. He just hoped that Melody and her grandmother didn’t fuss.
He hated the fact that he couldn’t be by Melody’s side for most of the day, but he’d had to catch up on work, and she’d wanted to spend time with her grandmother. He and Melody had both been pretty shaky after they finished their conversation the night before, and while he knew she probably needed some space from him after she bared her soul, he didn’t know if he would be able to give her as much space as she might think she needed.
Because the fact was, he was going to be a dad. He’d been so focused on doing the right thing and making sure that Melody knew she was cared for and wanted and that she wouldn’t be alone in this, that he wasn’t sure he was handling it the right way.
It worried him sometimes to think how focused he was on keeping Melody in his life and keeping her safe because he wanted to do the right thing when it came to their child. And then he reminded himself that he had wanted her as much as he did now before he knew she was pregnant. Given those two thoughts were so intertwined, he wasn’t sure he could ever know exactly how he would’ve felt without the idea of the new life between them.
And while that worried him, he had a feeling it bothered Melody even more.
He’d never thought starting this new part of his life would be this way. He’d seen the way his brothers became fathers and had thought that maybe he’d be able to do something different. He’d thought that he would be able to have some semblance of control when it came to not only becoming a father but also starting a serious relationship. But it seemed, in the end, the Collins brothers only had one way of starting new parts of their lives. An insane way that never made any sense.
He was beyond stressed. Beyond worried. But in the end, he was falling for her so hard that it scared him. Especially because she was so hard to read. There was so much going on in her life that he worried he would be the easiest thing to cut out when she got too stressed and needed to focus on only the most important things.
And he hadn’t known her long, but he knew deep down that he was falling for her. And that meant he was going to fight for her. She had been it for him since that first night, even if he had tried his best not to think about it. She had haunted his dreams when he thought he’d never see her again. And now, she filled his day when all he wanted to do was spend time with her and figure out every facet of her.
And he knew this intensity might scare Melody off, so he was going to do his best not to do that.
So tonight, instead of spending the evening with Melody, he was going to take the class that he had been signed up for for a while now. The one that probably made no sense to anyone looking in on him. But then again, sometimes, he felt as if no one knew what he was doing. Because he had spent his life being in the shadow of two amazing brothers, and one very talented sister. As his brothers had seemed to add on more jobs to their lives every day and even more twists and turns to their personal lives, Fox had been steady with his one job, and his routine when it came to working in his brother’s bar some nights, and working out at his other brother’s gym. So, of all things, he had signed up for a cooking class. He might as well be talented at something besides juggling.
His brothers were probably already better cooks than he was, but he didn’t want to think those thoughts. Because he didn’t like the jealousy that came with them. He wasn’t envious of his brothers per se, but he always felt as if he had to work a little bit harder to match them. Because he looked up to them, looked up to Tabby even though she was younger, and he didn’t want to be left stranded. He’d been left behind when it took him so long to fill out, and had felt slightly abandoned when the others knew what they wanted to do with their lives and Fox was still lost in his books.
But he wasn’t that kid anymore. Now, he was going to have a kid of his own. So, yeah, this cooking class was for him, but he also knew that he would be able to cook for Melody and the baby when the time came. That was if he ended up part of Melody’s life in the way he thought he wanted. Everything was so up in the air, and if he didn’t stop and let things happen in their own way and time, he’d start pulling out his hair.
“You’re staring at the sign and not actually walking into the building. Is there something I should know?” Ainsley hip-bumped him, and he shook his head, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. She might be Loch’s best friend, but she was also his friend, and they’d decided to take the class together. She wanted to learn to be a better cook for herself and even for when she cooked for Misty, Loch’s daughter. Fox thought she was already better than he was at cooking, though that wasn’t saying much, even as their initial skill level assessment.
“Sorry, just thinking about nothing and everything, I guess.”
Ainsley looked over her shoulder, presumably to ensure that they were alone when she whispered, “About Melody, the stalker, and the baby? It’s a lot.”
“Loch tell you about what happened?” He hadn’t, but he wasn’t surprised that she knew.
“Yes, but Melody also did when I called to make sure she was okay. I know I probably should have given her space, but she’s my friend, and I’m nosy and invasive when it comes to my friends.”
“That’s what we love about you,” Fox said honestly. “Now let’s get to cooking before someone sees us out here.”
They’d made a deal that they wouldn’t let any of their friends know what they were doing. It was embarrassing to think that, at their age, they didn’t have the basic skills to cook a normal meal, but they were learning. Somehow, the news hadn’t gone through the grapevine of town gossip yet, and for that, he was grateful.
The class consisted of five pairs of students learning the basics of cooking and, eventually, how to put a full meal together that was a little bit fancier than normal. It was a ten-week course, and this was the second to last class. He had no idea how his parents and family hadn’t figured out that he was taking the course, but he was just happy that he didn’t have to deal with any questions. His mother would probably think it was all her fault that he’d had so much trouble even boiling water for such a long time, but at least he was getting better at it.
He and Ainsley were paired up, while most of the rest of the class was actual couples who were practicing for when they got married and started families, but he liked the fact that he was there with his friend and they could laugh about burning things and not making the most picture-worthy food ever.
Tonight, they were taking it easy with chicken Marsala and pasta. It sounded way too complicated for him, but what did he know. He’d only learned how to boil eggs correctly last month.
Ainsley was quiet beside him as she focused, and he liked that about her. She could talk a mile a minute when she wanted to, but she could also be the silent observer who was that steady rock for those around her when she needed to be. He knew his brother relied on her more than just for babysitting, and he had a feeling once Loch figured that out, things would change for the pair. He liked Ainsley, liked her for his brother, and really liked the fact that she was part of their lives. But when the two finally realized that they could be it for each other, Fox was afraid what might happen. His brother was even more bullheaded than Dare or himself, and if they weren’t careful, they could all lose Ainsley because Loch was too afraid to trust.
The fact that it reminded him so much of Melody wasn’t lost on Fo
x. He always trusted too easily, even for a writer, and he knew that. But he knew he wasn’t putting that trust in the wrong hands when it came to the woman he wanted in his life. He might’ve fallen fast, but he didn’t care. It wasn’t just the baby, he reminded himself. It was the woman he wanted to know more, the one he didn’t want to let go.
And that was just something they were going to have to deal with.
The class took around two hours to get through because they were also allowed to eat their food—if it turned out. Thankfully, between the two of them, they made a tremendous meal that filled his belly and made him want more. Maybe he would cook this for Melody one day since he knew she liked mushrooms. See? They knew little things like that. They weren’t as new to each other as one might’ve thought without looking beneath the initial layer.
Now, he just had to make sure that Melody understood that, as well.
After he and Ainsley had cleaned up their mess, and it was a mess since neither of them was the cleanest of cooks, they headed out to make their way to their respective homes. Of course, because this was his life, nothing ever worked out the way he hoped. Loch and Melody were walking back from their businesses when they caught sight of Ainsley and Fox walking close together. Fox had been brushing flour off Ainsley’s cheek and laughing because he was pretty sure he had been the one to put it there, when he noticed the other two across the street. Melody stood there with wide eyes, but he had no idea what she was thinking. Loch, on the other hand, glared at Fox’s hand and turned on his heel to storm away.
Fox seriously had no idea what the fuck was going on in his brother’s head. But that wasn’t new. However, he was really worried about what was going through Melody’s head at that very moment. He knew what the scene looked like, and he had just been telling himself that Melody had trust issues. He really hoped he hadn’t fucked everything up.
Whiskey Reveals (Whiskey and Lies Book 2) Page 15
