“When I can’t get in touch with you, it is.” She stood up, ready for a fight. “Kiki’s sick. I couldn’t get through to you because you’re not answering your phone. I missed my test.”
“Oh.” I would’ve said sorry, but it wasn’t like I could’ve known. “How’s Kiki?”
“He’s sleeping. He’s got a fever.” Somehow she made it sound like that was my fault too.
“I’m here now.” I glanced at my watch. “It’s twenty to eight. You can still go.”
“No point. My class starts at eight. It takes at least an hour to get there.”
“I’ve got cash for a taxi.”
“In rush-hour traffic? That would take even longer than the subway. Whatever.” She crossed her arms and plunked back in front of the TV. “So I hear you’re a lieutenant.”
I was surprised—not that she knew, but that she’d brought it up. It was an unwritten code in our home that she and Mom never said a word about how I made money. After all, you can’t criticize and lap up the cash.
“What I do is my business.”
“If you get put away again, it’s everybody’s business.”
“You sure you’ll be able to afford to get your hair done if I quit? Because you and Mom never had a problem before.”
“Don’t lump me in with Mom. I’ve never used your money for my hair. I don’t want you doing what you do. Mom, on the other hand, is hoping you’ll become an executive so you can set her up nice.”
Her words cut, because I knew they could be true. “Did she say that?”
“Didn’t have to. I know Mom. Tell me, Darren. What kind of example are you setting for Kiki?”
“He doesn’t know what I do. I’m not a lifetime player, anyway.”
“Yeah, sure. You’d walk away from all that money.”
“When the time is right, I will.”
“If you’re stupid enough to believe what you’re saying, I bet you’re using, too.”
My patience was running out. “You’re full of shit. Do I look like I’m using?”
“You sure look like our daddy.”
I blinked. “What’s that got to do with it?”
“Nothing.” She turned up the TV.
I grabbed the remote and turned it off. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m staying out of this. It’s between you and Mom.”
I’d had enough of Tasha’s games. “Tell me what you know or I’ll break this remote over your skull.”
She glanced at me nervously, not wanting to call my bluff. “Fine. Our dad was a drug addict.”
“Yeah, right. They don’t let you into the army if you’re using.”
“He was never in the army. He couldn’t even hold down a job.”
I felt like I’d been sucker punched. “Like you remember all this.”
“I don’t remember. Mom told me.”
I shook my head. It didn’t make any sense. “Why would she tell you and not me?”
“What, have you just met our mother? She thinks a boy needs a role model, so she made one up.”
“So you’re saying Dad’s alive?” My mind was spinning.
“Nah. Mom said he turned up dead not long after he left us.”
I couldn’t believe it. Any of it. “But I have a picture of him in his uniform.”
She shrugged. “That ain’t Dad. I think it’s some cousin. Now can I have the remote?”
I flung the remote across the room. It smashed against the wall.
A wail erupted from the bedroom. Tasha stood up and glared at me. “See what you did?”
“I got it.” I stalked down the hall to the bedroom that Kiki shared with Mom. He was sitting in his tiny toddler bed, crying hard. When he saw me come in, he hiccupped before bursting into tears again.
Scooping him up, I hugged him tight against my chest. I wanted to cry too. I wanted to cry and scream, because I felt like a whole part of me had been ripped away. I felt like my dad had just died. It made me sick. I wanted to lash out against the pain. But instead I hugged my brother.
“Shhh . . . It’s okay, little bro. It’s okay. Shhhh.” I felt his forehead. It was warm, but not burning hot.
Kiki’s cries turned to soft whines, and after a while I laid him down and he went to sleep while I rubbed his back.
Life was going to be better for Kiki. I was going to make sure of it.
Illusions
The blood of a fiend
Is running through my veins
The dad I believed in
Was nothing but a shame
I thought I had the lineage
Of someone strong and pure
But the story’s an illusion
The lies are like poison
No such thing as a hero
Nothing is for sure.
BURNED
Early Sunday morning I got a call from Kessler. She wanted to meet ASAP.
Despite a late night with the lieutenants, I dragged myself out of bed, showered, and headed for the subway. It was a nice day for March, warm enough to break out Kiki’s wagon and pull him around the neighborhood. He was the only reason I was still living at home, since I could hardly stand the sight of my mom.
I kept asking myself the same thing: What kind of mother lied to her kid about his dad? The worst part was, I’d been stupid enough to believe her. She’d never had good answers to my questions about my dad’s military career. When I’d asked about his pension, she’d said it was small because he hadn’t been in the army very long. And I’d actually bought it. Looking back, she hadn’t even been a good liar.
Now, whenever I saw a fiend on the street, I wondered if that’s what my dad had been like. I’d believed he was a hero, but he was just another zombie.
I didn’t say a word to Mom about what I knew. What would be the point? Nothing she could say would make it right.
As for Tasha, she took an evil satisfaction in my misery. “Poor baby boy,” she’d always said, and now it hit me what that really meant. She hated that Mom had always tried to protect me. But it wasn’t my fault she treated us differently. At least she’d told Tasha the truth.
I had to put it aside for now. There were more important things to deal with.
It took fifteen minutes to get to the Garden District address Kessler had given me. I walked up the steps of the brownstone and pulled open the heavy wooden door. The residents’ names were listed behind a glass panel. Next to Apartment C, it said: Amber Kessler.
This was her place? I didn’t think cops invited informants to their homes. But then, I wasn’t an official CI anymore.
She buzzed me in.
Her apartment was one flight up, and she immediately ushered me in, locking the door behind me. It was small, probably a one-bedroom, cluttered with plants and books and magazines. The main room seemed to be a living room, dining room, and office all in one. I could picture Prescott coming in here, loosening his tie, and putting his feet up in front of the TV. The thought gave me a twinge. I missed the guy.
“I’ll take your coat.” Kessler hung it up. She wore sweats and sneakers, and her hair was in a messy ponytail. “I thought it was safest to meet here.”
It made sense. If I hadn’t met Prescott in public, the Vet would never have known about me.
“Nice crib you got.”
“Thanks. Can I get you a drink? 7UP or orange juice?”
“I’m good.”
We sat down across from each other.
“I assume Tony’s responsible for the grenade attack,” she said.
The grenade attack. It had happened two nights ago on the South Side. Someone had smashed a window of the Bloods’ hangout and thrown a grenade inside. Four people had been burned, and two were in critical condition. The neighborhood was still reeling. Sure, everybody knew there’d be payback for what happened to Busy and P-Free. But the method was unusual. This was Toronto, not Afghanistan.
“Yeah, Tony’s behind it. All of his people have been celebrating.”
“Do you know who threw it or who was in the getaway car?”
I shook my head. “They keep the details quiet.”
“Who would Tony use for a job like that?”
“He’s got a few thugs working for him. But there are these two cousins, Tyrell and Remy. Everybody calls them the Cuz. I’ve seen a lot more of them since Pup got locked up. Could’ve been them.” I didn’t mention that they’d disposed of the Vet’s body. She didn’t need to know about that.
“Tell me more, Darren. Tell me everything about Tony’s operation that you think could help me.”
I told her what I knew. She wrote it all down on a pad of paper, interrupting only to clarify certain details.
“You could raid a stash house easy,” I said. “There’d be an exec there, maybe a lieutenant or two, and lots of cash and product. But I know these guys, and they won’t talk. You wouldn’t find anything that would point to Tony. He hardly ever shows up at the stash houses, and when he does, it’s for five minutes, tops.”
“That’s our problem. He gives orders but never gets his hands dirty.” She put down her pad. “You’ve been really helpful to me.”
Interesting that she said “me” instead of “us,” like Prescott used to. Since the cops had decided to charge Andre with Prescott’s murder despite Kessler’s warnings, I guess she was on her own now.
“Not helpful enough. I’m not getting us where we need to be.”
“I’m going to put Tony away,” she said. “That isn’t going to change. But I don’t want you taking this kind of risk. It’s all or nothing for you, Darren. If Tony finds out, you’re dead.”
“I know that. You don’t have to try to talk me out of this. It won’t work. I’m going to see it through.”
“You’re determined, all right,” she said. “But if you change your mind, it’s never too late to get out.”
“I hear you.”
She picked up her pad again. “I’m going to look into a few neighborhood businesses. I’m hoping to find some connection to Walker or one of his executives. Any idea where I should start?”
“Look into a club called Chaos,” I said. “Tony and his executives hang out there all the time. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was laundering money through the place. But I bet you won’t find his name on paper. He’s too careful to put his name on anything that could burn him.”
“He’ll slip up sooner or later. Everyone does. No operation is airtight.”
She was right. Tony would slip up, and I’d be there when he did.
“I’m counting on it.”
CHAOS
Friday night, I went to Chaos with the crew. I was in a good mood because it was spring break next week. Without school in the way, Jessica and I could spend a lot more time together.
Diamond Tony and his execs were chilling in the VIP corner with a bunch of girls. Tony was known for being a lady’s man. Rumor had it he never got with the same girl twice. I could never tell if his girls were paid, or if they just wanted a chance to get with a legend, like groupies with rock stars.
“You’re happy tonight,” Ray-go said. He was way too perceptive, but I probably wasn’t hard to read. Jessica and I were going to sleep in the rec room tonight. We’d even hidden an air mattress and blankets up there so we’d be real cozy.
“I’m off school next week.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot you still went.” Ray-go chuckled. He knew I still lived at home. He probably thought I was going to school because my mom made me. “So what do you want to be when you grow up?”
“Rich.”
“You’re in the right biz for that.” We bumped fists.
As the lieutenants talked, drank, and surveyed the girls on the dance floor, I kept searching for glimpses of Jessica. Every time I saw her, I felt my blood race. I still couldn’t believe she was mine.
Ray-go nudged me. “Check out that guy with the red hair. What’s he been smoking?”
It was Cam. He was dancing his heart out behind a gorgeous girl, doing the running man, the robot, the horse-riding dance, anything to make his friends crack up. Whenever the girl turned around, he ignored her and pretended to dance with his friends.
“That’s my man Cam. He’s class all the way.”
We watched and laughed, but seeing Cam fazed me. Memories flashed before my eyes—the Vet lying dead, Cam freaking out, the Cuz packaging the body like a carcass of meat. I took a long swig of beer, followed by another, wishing the alcohol could erase it all from my mind.
A few minutes later, I headed to the bathroom, and on my way out, I ran into Cam. I had the feeling he’d been waiting there for me.
“Kudos on the promo,” Cam said, but I didn’t buy the smile. In fact, his congrats sounded more like a condolence.
“Yeah, that’s me. How’s everything going on our old corner? Wallop treating you good?”
“You didn’t hear? I got out. Couple weeks ago.” He shuffled his feet. “It was time to retire, you know?”
“I know.” I wasn’t going to say it, but I was glad for him. “Good luck with your GED.”
I gave him a one-armed hug. For a second, his grip tightened. “Get out, Dare. It ain’t worth it.”
That’s when I knew: Cam had believed the Vet. He knew I was a snitch. But instead of selling me out, he had my back.
“Thanks, man.”
There was nothing for me to do but walk away. I’d gotten the message loud and clear. But I was in too deep. And Cam probably knew that.
Back at my table, I finished my beer, which had gone flat, and pretended to listen to one of the lieutenants’ stories about his crazy ex-girlfriend. Cam’s warning didn’t change anything. I knew the danger, but I couldn’t dwell on it. As an informant, I had to lock away my fear. It was the only way I could keep going.
When last call came, we settled our bill. The total for our table was always over five hundred, sometimes more than a thousand. If Tony was behind this place, it would work out pretty sweet for him. His employees spent a shitload of their money here, which put it right back into his pocket.
The lieutenants headed out, and I waited by the bar for Jessica to get ready. Tony and his entourage lingered at their table. Last call meant nothing to them. Nobody would dare ask them to leave.
Lucky for me, Jessica wasn’t serving their tables, so she was done for the night. I put my arm around her as we walked out.
“Oh! I forgot to pick up my check. I’ll just be a minute.” She hurried back inside. I waited, talking with the doorman, a hulk called Rashid. He used to work for Tony years ago but had taken several bullets in the leg and now walked with a cane. I’d seen him use that cane to beat the snot out of anyone who messed with him.
Diamond Tony and his executives came out with their girls. I guess they’d decided to move the party to a more intimate location. Vinny slapped my back. He was obviously drunk but happy as hell. He’d been on cloud nine since he’d become an executive. And why shouldn’t he be? He had everything he’d ever wanted—money, girls, status. He was living the dream.
“Darren, my man,” he said, like we were best friends. “I hear you got your corners locked down.”
“You taught me all I know.”
He grinned at that, and I noticed another gold tooth in his smile. “Always said you was a good soljah.” He turned to Jessica, who’d come out of the club. “Hey, Jessica.” He looked her up and down, his grin broadening.
I put an arm around her protectively.
Diamond Tony walked up behind Vinny and clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Respect a man’s property now.”
Vinny laughed. “Always do.”
“Darren,” Tony said with a nod. “Jessica.” He smiled at her, and I fought to control my reaction. Of course he knew her, I told myself. She’d probably waited on him many times.
“I have cars coming if you’d like a ride,” Tony said, directing the question to me.
“Thanks, but we’ll get a—”
Gunshots. Jessica and I
hit the pavement. I crouched over her, sheltering her with my body.
People ran for cover or dove to the ground. Diamond Tony sprinted behind a parked car, firing his semiautomatic. One of his execs, Kamal, was facedown on the sidewalk. All I could do was stay low and protect Jessica.
Tires screeched and the car sped away. Tony fired several shots after it, then gave up.
Gradually people started coming out in the open—Tony’s guys, clubbers, bystanders. Tony was bent over Kamal, swearing. Rashid was giving someone chest compressions. Vinny was still huddled beside us on the ground.
I touched Jessica’s back. “It’s okay, they’re gone. Let’s get out of here before the cops come.”
She didn’t answer. Sirens reached a fever pitch as emergency crews got closer to the scene.
“Jessica?” Panic cut through me. “Jessica, talk to me!”
I turned her onto her back. Her chest was soaked with blood.
CORRIDOR
I held Jessica’s hand all the way to the hospital, then she was torn away from me and rushed to the operating room.
I called her parents, told them Jessica had been shot and that she was at North York General.
If she dies, I’ll die. If she dies, I’ll die.
In the men’s room, I broke down.
Don’t die. Please don’t die.
I stumbled out of the bathroom, stopping a nurse, asking her to find out what was happening to my girlfriend. She ushered me to the waiting room and told me that someone would come back and tell me.
No one came. I sat there for minutes that felt like hours. I stared down the long corridor at the automatic doors they’d taken her through.
It wasn’t long before Jessica’s family arrived. They were sleep rumpled, and Kendra was still in pajamas. They spoke to a nurse at reception.
I knew I should go up to them, say something. It was the last thing I wanted to do. If I talked to them, they’d see my guilt. They’d know this was my fault.
I forced myself to go over. The moment Jessica’s mom saw me, she grabbed my arm. “You were with her, Darren. You saw what happened?”
“I met her after work,” I said, leading Mrs. Thomas to the waiting area. We sat down. “We were waiting outside the club for a cab, talking to some people. And then the shooting started. It came from a car. I never even saw it pull up.”
Takedown Page 12
