She turned back to Aidan and pressed her hands together. ‘This is such an exciting time for us.’
‘And a scary one too, I imagine.’
She didn’t want to admit that. Not out loud.
‘I mean you’re turning your whole life on its head.’
She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and concentrated on keeping her breathing even.
He stared across at the playground. ‘And it’s not just your life that this decision impacts either so—’
‘Are you trying to make me hyperventilate?’ she demanded.
His jaw dropped. ‘Heck, no! I just think it’s amazing and courageous and...’
She gritted her teeth for a moment before pasting on another smile. She suspected it was more a grimace from the way Aidan eased back a fraction and kept his eyes trained on her. ‘Which is why this road trip of ours is so important to me. I’ve promised the boys that we’ll treat it as a holiday. I’m determined that we’ll take our time and that everyone will be as relaxed as possible so I can answer any questions about this new life of ours, help ease any fears and apprehensions that might come to light, and to just...’
She reached out as if to grasp the words she sought from the air. ‘To help us all look forward to this new beginning and be excited about it.’ She turned to him, willing him to understand. ‘It’s the reason I’ve been chirpy-chirpy-cheeping with all of my might.’
Beneath his tan, he paled. ‘And I’m screwing that up for you.’
‘No you’re not. Not exactly. But now that you know, maybe you can ease up a bit.’
‘And part company with you at Adelaide.’
She slapped a hand down on the blanket between them and leaned in closer. He smelled of something spicy and sharp like eucalyptus oil or crushed pine needles. She breathed him in and the constriction about her lungs eased a fraction. ‘By going with the flow and relaxing,’ she corrected. ‘You’re obviously stressed about this plane strike and getting back home to Sydney, but...’
He latched onto that. ‘But?’
‘We’re all stuck with each other for the six days or so, right?’
‘Six days!’ He swallowed. He nodded. ‘Six days. Right.’
‘So can’t you stop chafing at the constraints and just...just look at this time as a bit of a gift? Embrace it as an unexpected holiday or a timeout from a hectic schedule?’
He stared at her. ‘A holiday?’ He said the words as if testing them out. Very slowly he started to nod. ‘Fretting about the delay isn’t going to change anything, is it?’
Precisely.
‘In fact, it would be making things harder on you and the boys.’
‘And on you.’ She shook her head. ‘I hate to think what your raised cortisol levels are doing to your overall heath.’
‘Cortisol?’
‘It’s a hormone that’s released into our bloodstreams during times of stress. It’s not good for us in large constant doses.’ It took an effort of will not to fidget under his stare. She waved a dismissive hand. ‘I read about it in a book.’
This man would benefit from regular meditation too, but she didn’t suggest it. She’d suggested enough for one day. She leant back on her hands and lifted her face to what was left of the sun and made herself laugh. ‘We’re certainly getting holiday weather.’ Summer might be over officially, but nobody had informed the weather of that fact.
He glanced around and nodded.
‘Look at how blue the sky is and the golden haze on the horizon. This is my absolute favourite time of day.’
His shoulders loosened.
‘I love the way the shadows lengthen and how stands of trees almost turn purple in the shade, like those ones over there,’ she murmured.
He pulled in an audible breath and let it out in one long exhalation.
‘I just want to drink it all in.’
They were quiet for a few moments. She hoped he was savouring the afternoon as much as she was.
‘You remind me of someone.’
It was the most relaxed she’d heard him sound. ‘Who?’
He swivelled to face her. ‘My turn.’
She blinked. ‘For?’
‘For sharing something I think you want to know.’
It took all her willpower to not lean forward, mouth agape. She hadn’t expected him to actually take part in her ‘you tell me yours, I’ll tell you mine’ strategy. She’d just wanted to impress upon him the importance of this trip. Not that she had any intention of telling him that now, though.
‘Okay.’ She forced her eyes back to the hazy horizon, careful to not make him feel self-conscious.
‘Daniel’s death has devastated my family.’
His brother had died in a car accident eight months ago now. It had made all the headlines. She gripped a fistful of blanket, her heart burning for Aidan and his family.
‘He was the apple of my parents’ eyes. His death shattered them.’ He stared down at his hands. ‘Hardly surprising as he was a great guy.’
He didn’t have to say how much his brother’s death had devastated him. She could see it in his face. A lump ballooned in her throat.
‘Ever since Danny’s accident my mother has lived in mortal fear of losing me too.’
The poor woman.
And then Quinn saw it, what Aidan wasn’t saying. With an effort, she swallowed and the lump bruised her all the way down until it reached her stomach. ‘So this plane strike and your road trip across the country, it’s going to be a real...worry for her?’
And that was what had really been chafing at him. Not the interruption to his political campaigning or the fact he was missing important meetings.
‘What did you call it? Cortisol?’
She nodded.
He pointed skyward. ‘Hers will be through the roof.’
And Aidan wanted to do whatever he could to ease his mother’s suffering. Her heart tore for him.
‘My parents’ thirtieth wedding anniversary is soon and—’
‘When?’ Good Lord! She had to make sure he got home in time for that.
‘Not until the twenty-fourth of the month.’
She let out a breath. She was hoping to be at Mara’s no later than the twenty-second. He’d get home in time.
‘I should be there helping with all the preparations. There’s a huge party planned. I encouraged them to have it. I thought it might help.’
That was when she started to wonder how much of his life he was putting on hold in an effort to allay his parents’ grief. And what of his own grief?
She surveyed him for a long moment. When he turned to meet her gaze the rich brown of his eyes almost stole her breath. She swallowed, but she didn’t look away. ‘Aidan, I am truly sorry for your loss.’
He looked ragged for a moment. ‘Thank you.’
The silence gathered about them and started to burn. ‘May I say something about your mother?’ she whispered.
He stilled. He turned back. ‘Only if you say it gently.’
Gently? Her heart started to thump. She moistened her lips and stared across to the playground with its riot of happy laughter. ‘I can’t imagine how bad it would be to lose one of my boys.’ Her voice wobbled. ‘I can’t actually imagine anything worse.’
He reached out and squeezed her hand.
‘In fact, I can’t actually comprehend it, and I’m utterly and probably somewhat selfishly grateful for that.’
‘It’s not selfish, Quinn,’ he said quietly.
‘Your poor, poor mother, Aidan.’ She clasped his hand tightly. ‘God forbid if I should ever lose Robbie, but...I can’t help feeling that wrapping Chase up in cotton wool would not be a good thing to do. For him or for me.’
He met her gaze, his face sober. ‘She can’t help her grief.’
‘No.’ But tying Aidan down like this was hardly fair. ‘You will get home safe and sound and in one piece.’ It was probably a foolish thing to say because neither one of them could guarantee that. But
she couldn’t think of anything else to say.
‘Of course I will.’
‘And there’s nothing you can do for your mother at the moment except to give her a daily phone call to let her know you’re okay.’
‘No,’ he agreed.
‘Can you live with that?’
‘I guess I’ll have to.’
‘You know,’ she started slowly, ‘this might be a good thing.’
‘How?’
‘Maybe it’ll force her to focus beyond her fear, especially if she has the party to turn her attention to. And once she does that she might realise how irrational her fear is.’
His face lit up. ‘You think so?’
Oh, heavens, she’d raised his hopes. Um... ‘Maybe.’
He stared at her for a long moment and then he smiled. ‘That person you remind me of?’
Her heart started to thump. ‘Uh-huh?’
‘It’s Daniel. Quinn, you remind me of my brother.’
CHAPTER THREE
AIDAN TOOK THE first driving shift the next day. He’d thought he might have an argument on his hands about that but, after subjecting him to a thorough scrutiny, Quinn merely handed him the keys and slid into the passenger seat.
He surveyed her the best he could without alerting her to that fact. She looked a little pale, a little wan.
‘Okay, boys.’ She turned to Robbie and Chase in the back. ‘You have one hour of Gameboy time.’
Both boys whooped and dived into their backpacks. She shrugged when she caught Aidan’s eye. ‘I know it’d make things a whole lot easier and simpler, not to mention quieter, if I just let them play with their Gameboys all day, but I don’t think that’s good for them.’
‘I don’t either.’
Her brows shot up. ‘It’s something you’ve thought about?’
He might not have kids, he might not really know any kids, but it didn’t make him totally ignorant. ‘Only in the abstract.’ Besides, he hoped to have kids one day. ‘The rise in childhood obesity is worrying. I’ve been part of a government task force that’s been looking at strategies to combat it.’
‘That’s good to know.’ Yesterday she’d have asked him all sorts of questions about it. Today she stifled a yawn and stared out of the window with a mumbled, ‘Glad our taxes are being put to good use.’
Aidan had set their course on the Great Eastern Highway and the scenery grew browner and drier by the kilometre. All that was visible from the windows was low scrub, brown grass and brown dirt. For mile upon endless mile.
He glanced across at her again. ‘Rough night?’
She straightened and he wished he’d kept quiet and just let her drift off for a little while.
‘The bed was hard as a rock.’
She smiled but it left him vaguely dissatisfied. Quinn might spout assurances that this move across the country was the greatest idea ever, but he sensed a certain ambivalence in her.
That she doesn’t want to talk about.
Yesterday’s disclosures didn’t give him the right to pry.
‘I’ll sleep very well tonight, though.’ She sent him one of her buck-up smiles. ‘Whether the bed is made of rock or marshmallow.’
He determined in that moment to let her rest as much as he could. ‘Mind if I turn on the radio? I’ll keep the volume low.’
‘Sounds nice.’
Although he willed her to, she didn’t fall asleep. She merely stared out of the window and watched the unending scrub pass by. At the one hour mark she snapped to and turned to the boys. ‘Time’s up.’
There were groans and grumbles and ‘let me just finish this bit’ but within five minutes they’d tucked their Gameboys back into their bags. Quinn then asked them what games they’d been playing and received blow-by-blow accounts. She spoke her children’s lingo. She connected with them on every level and he suddenly and deeply admired her.
She was a single working mother, but she’d evidently spent time building a solid relationship with her children. It couldn’t have been easy, she’d have had to make sacrifices, but he suspected she hadn’t minded that in the least.
Robbie stretched out his arms to touch the back of Aidan’s seat. ‘How long is Aunt Mara going to be in hospital for?’
‘If all goes well, just a few days. But she’ll have to take it easy for weeks and weeks. Don’t forget, though, that her surgery isn’t scheduled until later in the year.’
‘I’ll read to her.’
‘She’ll like that.’
‘And I’ll play cars with her,’ Chase piped up, evidently not wanting to be left out.
‘Heavens! She’ll be back on her feet in no time with all of that attention.’
Robbie stretched to touch the roof. ‘What are we going to do for a car if we have to give this one back?’
‘We’re going to share Aunt Mara’s car for a while and there’s a farm ute we can use too. But we’ll buy a new one eventually. What do you guys think we should get?’
A lively discussion followed, mostly based on television ads that the boys liked. It made Aidan smile. And then he remembered Quinn’s words of yesterday and how she’d thought him unfriendly and the smile slid straight off his face. He had to do more than just listen. ‘What about a minivan?’ he suggested. ‘One of those bus things that can practically carry an entire football team.’
The boys thought that a brilliant idea. Quinn accused him of harbouring a secret desire for a shed on wheels, which made him laugh.
‘So,’ he asked when silence reigned again, ‘are you boys looking forward to the move?’
‘Yes,’ said Chase without hesitation.
In the rear-view mirror he saw Robbie frown and chew the side of his thumb. ‘I’m going to miss my friends Luke and Jason.’
Quinn’s hands clenched. He flicked a glance at them before turning his attention back to the road. ‘I know it’s not precisely the same, but you’ll be able to Skype with them, won’t you?’
Robbie frowned more fiercely. ‘What’s that?’
‘It’s like talking on the phone only on the computer, and you get to see each other.’
He stopped chewing his thumb. ‘Really?’ His face lit up. ‘Can I, Mum? Huh, can I?’
Quinn’s hands unclenched. ‘Sure you can, honey.’
She sent Aidan such a smile he was tempted to simply sit back and bask in it. But then he remembered yesterday’s impression. Unfriendly? He wasn’t having a bit of it.
‘And can I Skype with Daddy too?’
He swore every single muscle Quinn possessed bunched at that. ‘I...’ She cleared her throat. ‘I don’t see why not.’ She flashed Robbie a smile. For some reason it made Aidan want to drop his head to the steering wheel. He kept both hands tight about it, though, and his eyes glued to the road ahead. ‘You’ll have to ask him the next time he rings.’
‘’Kay.’
‘Look, kangaroos!’ Aidan hollered, pointing to the right and blessing Providence for providing them with the perfect distraction.
Both boys strained in their seats, their mouths open and their faces eager as they watched four large grey kangaroos bounce through the scrub beside the car.
Quinn leant her head back against the seat and closed her eyes.
Aidan pulled in a breath. ‘Okay, Robbie and Chase, I think it’s time I taught you a song.’
‘Is it a fun song?’ Chase demanded, as if that was the only kind of song he was interested in.
He scrubbed a hand across his chin. ‘It has a yellow submarine. Does that make it fun enough?’
‘Yes!’ the boys chorused.
Besides, it was a classic. If they were all so hell-bent on novelty songs they might as well learn the best. So he taught them the Beatles’ ‘Yellow Submarine’. By the time they’d finished they’d reached their first rest stop. While Quinn spread out the picnic blanket in the park area behind the lone roadhouse, Aidan grabbed his laptop and downloaded the song so the boys could listen to the original version. The three of th
em sang along at the tops of their voices.
When they’d finished, Aidan turned to find Quinn curled on the blanket, fast asleep. He thought of his exhaustion of the previous day. He thought about how she was turning her whole world on its head. He swung back to the boys. ‘How about we kick a ball around and let your mum sleep?’
‘I’m tired of kicking a ball around,’ Chase grumbled. ‘I wanna play hopscotch instead.’
Hopscotch?
Without a murmur, Robbie went to the boot of the car and pulled out a plastic mat which, when unfolded, formed a life-sized hopscotch...court, shape or whatever one called it.
‘Uh, guys...’ Aidan glanced at Quinn. He shook his head. ‘Never mind.’
So they played hopscotch.
And darn if it wasn’t fun!
‘Are you guys worried about making friends in your new home town?’
Chase hopped. ‘Mum said it’ll be really easy to make friends in school.’
‘I expect she’s right.’ Aiden patted Chase’s back. ‘Well done, buddy; that was a big hop to end with.’
Robbie took his turn. ‘Mum said I can play Saturday morning soccer in Pokolbin, just like I did in Perth.’
‘Sport is a great way to make friends.’ He stepped back to give Robbie plenty of room to finish his turn. ‘You’re quick at this.’
‘I know.’ Robbie nodded, but as Aidan took his turn he could tell the boy was pleased with the praise.
‘You’d be quicker if you had play clothes.’
Aidan puffed over the finish line. ‘Ain’t that the truth? I’ll have to buy some when we get to Norseman this afternoon.’
Robbie squinted up at Aidan, chewing his lip. Aidan mightn’t have a kid of his own, he mightn’t have friends with kids, but it didn’t take a rocket scientist to work out that Robbie had something he wanted to ask. ‘Out with it, buddy,’ he advised.
‘You gotta promise to tell me the truth.’
Jeez! He rubbed a hand across his jaw. ‘I’ll do my best.’
‘Is hopscotch a girls’ game?’
Aidan automatically went to say no, that anyone was at liberty to play hopscotch, which wasn’t really a lie, but... He closed his mouth. Kids could be cruel and, as far as he could tell, political correctness wasn’t high on their radar, regardless of what their parents tried to teach them.
Road Trip with the Eligible Bachelor Page 4
