by S. E. Weir
She winced at seeing Phina kick Maxim’s knee out and shook her head. Alina still had a hard time watching two people she cared about so much fighting, even when it was practice or playing.
Tim had recovered and moved in to grab Phina’s arm and do a move Alina missed when Ron leaned over to whisper in an awkward but feigned casualness, “So.., Phina. Has she...or is she... Well, seeing anyone?”
Eying Todd, Alina leaned closer and spoke quietly. “I know she is interested in someone who is interested in her, but they haven’t talked about it yet.”
“Oh.” Ron sat back in puzzled concentration, perhaps deciding whether that meant Phina was seeing someone or not.
She initiated a comm call on her implant.
“Yes?” Todd answered absently.
Alina could see him focusing on the fight. One of the guys had flung her off him. Phina twisted in mid-air and landed hard in a crouch, then sprang forward to kick Joel into Craig before turning to block a hit from Maxim.
Alina subvocalized, Hey, Todd. Are you planning on telling my girl Phina you are interested in her?
Todd gave her a startled glance then turned back to the fight. After another moment, he responded. How did you know?
Alina pursed her lips in thought then continued their private conversation. Maybe because it’s obvious? Well… She glanced at her best friend, who was currently climbing Tim’s back to put him in a chokehold which caused his face to turn purple. Obvious to everyone but Phina, anyway.
She turned to Todd in time to see his shoulders slump. Then she’s not interested. All right. Thanks for telling me.
Alina’s eyes widened. That was not what she had intended for him to get out of that comment. She barely kept herself from physically responding as well as verbally. Whoa, cool your jets, space cadet. That’s not what I’m trying to tell you.
He glanced at her with interest sparking in his eyes before he turned back to the fight. It isn’t?
No, I’m trying to say that if you are interested, you need to do something to make it clear to Phina. Such as saying the words, or kissing her, or something. She is observant about everything except interpersonal relationships. Haven’t you noticed that when people compliment her physical appearance, she doesn’t believe them?
He made a noise that she interpreted as a thoughtful grunt of acknowledgment, so she continued, Part of it is that she doesn’t care about appearance. Clothes are just a means to an end for her, no matter how hard I’ve tried to convince her otherwise over the years, I might add. Alina mentally rolled her eyes at her best friend’s quirky refusal to admit that clothes were important.
At the risk of breaking the Best Friends Code, I’m going to tell you something I think you should know. A large part of it is that she is afraid to care about someone and get invested with them and then have them decide that her quirky passions and interests make her too much trouble to have a relationship with.
Alina sobered, trying to make sure Todd understood this important thing. Phina is afraid of loss after losing her parents, but she has still been willing to open her heart to people and let them in—and we are better for it because she is loyal and commits to the relationship. Not to mention she will protect the people she cares about to the best of her ability. You need to make sure that she is who you want, with all her quirks and everything, because if you don’t and she commits to you...and then you decide later that she isn’t what you want?
Alina swallowed the tears that were welling. Then I think it will destroy an important part of her that she might not get back.
Chapter Twenty-Three
QBBS Meredith Reynolds, Training Room
It will destroy an important part of her that she might not get back.
Alina’s words rang in Todd’s head as he watched Phina launch off Craig’s chest to flip in the air and land on Joseph, knocking him down.
His mind focused on the woman he had come to know over the last couple of years, and particularly over the last several weeks. He understood Alina’s warning far too well. Rejection from someone you loved could deter you from experiencing it with anyone else. Wasn’t that why Todd hesitated now, even though he normally wouldn’t categorize himself as someone who would shrink from something important?
Todd was afraid of getting burned again.
But, as he watched Phina’s singular focus while she assessed and moved quickly from one person to the next, he realized that Alina was right. Once Phina decided on a course, she took it and didn’t look back. If Phina did have feelings for him, once they’d made that commitment to each other, he could count on it to remain. She wouldn’t betray him like his first wife had. Phina wouldn’t consider it.
He sighed in relief and glanced at Alina again. The blonde woman met his gaze, waiting for him to respond over his implant. He finally nodded and gave her a small smile.
Thank you, Alina. I appreciate your advice.
You’re welcome. She flashed him a grin and subtly nodded at Ron. He’s asking about her, so you may not want to wait too long.
Todd glanced at Ron and internally sighed when he saw the younger man watching Phina intently. Would it be better for Phina if he stepped aside for him?
Todd took a deep breath and turned back to Phina just as she was grabbed from behind again, this time by Joseph. She grabbed the back of his head and dropped her weight as she pulled forward, rolling him over her. She darted away from his grasping fingers, then jumped up over Maxim’s kick, launching off of him and beginning to flip toward Craig.
At the last second, Maxim’s fingers grasped Phina’s ankle, causing her to swing down to the floor. She kicked out of the man’s hold in time to do a partial handspring as she hit the floor, crouching and looking around warily at the men’s positions to decide her next move.
Todd shook his head and clenched his jaw. He didn’t think it was an accident that he was drawn to Phina, and he wasn’t going to step aside. Not until he knew for sure what Phina’s feelings were on the matter.
In this, at least, Todd was done with being self-sacrificing. It was time to actively pursue the woman he’d been admiring for over two years.
Todd let himself into the holding area, though they may as well call it what it was—a prison. It was smaller and far nicer than any prison he had seen on Earth.
The guard on duty signed him in as per procedure, not questioning why Todd had come since he was authorized to visit those being held when he wished to do so. After finishing, the guard waved him over to the door that accessed the visiting rooms.
All too soon, he entered the room to see a thin woman about Phina’s height sitting at a table. He nodded to the guard standing nearby. At the swish of the door opening, the woman looked up eagerly, but her face fell as soon as she laid eyes on him.
“Expecting someone else?” Todd asked.
“Hoping, more like,” Faith Rochelle mumbled as she played with the hem of her shirt.
Todd watched her for a moment before moving over to sit in the visitor’s chair. He had accessed records earlier and had seen the note added by ADAM that Faith Rochelle was slowly dying from the serum she had made. Judging by the woman’s gaunt frame, that wouldn’t be far off.
“Are you here to have a conversation or gawk at me?” Faith glanced at him with a glower.
“Examine or observe more than gawk,” Todd replied evenly.
The woman sniffed. “Makes no difference from my end.”
After crossing his arms and ankles he watched her fiddle with her shirt until he spoke with a measure of compassion in his voice. “You have been told that you are dying?”
She froze then looked up to meet his eyes. “Yes,” she whispered, and dropped her head again, but not before he saw anguish cross her face.
He frowned, wondering what was going through the woman’s head. He felt protective of Phina, but he was also objective since he hadn’t been familiar with the woman before.
After a time he asked the foremost question in his mi
nd. “What made you decide to give your niece a serum when there was any number of things you could have done to protect her?”
Faith froze again then shook her head as she straightened, her face frowning in confusion. “I...don’t know. It made sense at the time. ‘Alter the nanocytes’ kept ringing in my head like it was the most important thing I could ever do. I was so afraid for Phina that I knew I had to do something to take care of her. She was in danger, I knew it.” She paused then shook her head again. “That’s all I can remember thinking. I had to do it.”
Todd took in everything he was seeing and hearing, growing still at her word choices. If he didn’t know any better... He stopped himself and shook his head. That didn’t make sense, either.
“Do you want to commit harm to Phina or any member of the Etheric Empire?” he asked.
Faith’s eyes widened. “No, I never intended to harm Phina, or anyone.” Her face crumpled and she threw her hands up. “It’s all wrong! Everything is wrong. Chris and Simon should never have left me alone like this.”
Todd couldn’t help feeling compassion. Something wasn’t right with the woman, whether it was psychological or something else. It didn’t negate her treatment of Phina, but he couldn’t deny that Faith needed help. Still, he had a job to do, self-imposed though it was.
“So, you didn’t know that Phina has assassins after her?”
Faith looked up in alarm, splotches of tears on her worn face. “What! Is she okay?”
He unfolded his arms and raised a hand to calm her. “She’s fine. She handled herself very well.”
The woman blinked in confusion. “Handled herself?” Dawning comprehension turned to horror. “You don’t mean she had to fight one off herself?”
Todd’s eyebrows rose as he watched her. She was not responding as he had expected based on reports of past behavior. “Yes. Over the past couple of years, minus the time in her coma, Phina has become very adept at fighting. She successfully held off five guys in training earlier today, four of them were Wechselbalg. The assassin wasn’t a concern for her, although we are expecting a larger response soon since he failed.”
Faith’s expression showed satisfaction with Phina’s accomplishment, but as her face turned to alarm near the end she reached forward though her hands couldn’t grasp his with the distance. “Please, please make sure she stays safe.”
Todd nodded firmly. “I intend to do so.”
The woman straightened at the reassurance but hesitated, chewing on her lip, which seemed to have become a common occurrence judging by the state of it. Finally, she met his eyes, her gaze imploring. “I know I don’t have a right to ask this, being in here, but could you let me know when they attack again?”
He watched her carefully but couldn’t sense anything other than a genuine concern for Phina. The incongruity between her past actions and current attitude bothered him, but he finally nodded and spoke up. “Meredith?”
The EI’s voice emitted from the speakers in the room. “Yes, Commander Jenkins?”
“Please inform Faith Rochelle any time Phina is attacked by anyone who is not training with her.”
“Understood.”
As Todd stood up, Faith gave him a small smile of relief. “Thank you. I appreciate your kindness.”
“Of course.” He nodded, then turned to the door and exited the room. As he headed for the entrance he initiated a message over his implant. “ADAM, when you have time, there’s something I would like you to do.”
Phina let herself into the apartment, took a shower and changed, then cleaned up from the party the night before. She was thinking about dinner when she realized that she had hardly seen Sundancer in days.
She frowned and closed her eyes in concentration, focusing on the connection between her and Sundancer. He was.. close, but not in the same room with her. She followed that inner locator into her room and froze when she found him sitting on her dresser next to the box of important things, with the lid open and her parent’s envelope in plain sight.
He looked up at her approach, his pink wrinkled face solemnly. It’s time, Phina.
After swallowing her protest, Phina slowly moved over to stand in front of the bed. She looked at the letter nestled with her mother’s pendant and sighed. “I know. I’ve been afraid to find out what it says. Right now it could say anything, but once I read it I’ll know.”
Sundancer nodded as if her half-formed thought made perfect sense. Or maybe he could read her mind to know what she meant. You savor potential and fear absolute outcomes.
Phina shrugged as her forehead creased in concern. Absolute outcomes that are negative, certainly.
He pawed it and pushed it toward her. Just read it.
She swallowed then nodded and gingerly lifted the letter, giving the envelope one last perusal. Her name was written on the front. Or rather, her parent’s nicknames—
Phina, our angel.
Phina took a deep breath, then carefully opened the envelope and slipped out the several sheets of folded paper enclosed. A separate card fell out onto the dresser, surprising her. She shifted the other papers into one hand and curiously picked up the card that had “Our angel—11th birthday” written on it. She turned it over and almost dropped it when she saw a printed picture of herself with her parents surrounding her, about to blow out the candles on her birthday cake. They were all smiling, her more excitedly, and her parents looked proud...and loving.
Her vision grew blurry and she backed up to sit on her bed, tucking her feet up underneath her. She didn’t know how long she sat there staring at the faces of the two people she loved most as tears fell. She had seen pictures of them before, occasionally, since her aunt hadn’t liked to see them. However, counting back she realized that this must have been one of the last pictures they had taken before leaving for that last mission.
She felt a nose nudging her hand and looked over to see Sundancer next to her, giving a kitty-cat look of sympathy which quickly turned to a glare when he read her thoughts. She shrugged and wiped away her tears with the back of her hand before wiping it on her pants. “Sorry, you look like a cat so it’s indelibly linked in my brain.”
Rather than giving her more grief he sighed and pointedly looked at her letter. Read it.
Phina’s mouth pulled into a twitch that might have become a smirk if she had put more effort into it. Her thoughts sobered quickly when she turned to her task. She set the picture to the side and slowly opened up the nine-year-old letter.
Our dear Phina,
We hope you will never have to see this letter, just as you’ve never seen the previous letters we wrote for this purpose. But, just in case we don’t make it back to you we have some important things that you need to know, and I have so much to tell you, our fiery, sweet angel.
First, we love you with all our hearts. Totally and completely. Our lives were not whole without you in them and we have never regretted having you or the way you came to be in this world for a single second. We hope you have felt our love for you and this is merely a reminder of something you already know. Just remember, that never, ever will change, no matter how long we live.
Phina’s vision grew blurry with tears again, so much that she had to move the letter before it got wet. She did remember her parents and their love for her, but it had become more like a distant memory. Reading this brought on a rush of emotion and it was overwhelming. The love they’d shared with her, the loss of them all over again. Finally, she was able to see long enough to get tissues and wipe her face so she could continue.
Second, we need to tell you something important that may be difficult for you to understand if you are reading this at a younger age.
She read through an explanation of everything that Link, TOM, and ADAM had shared regarding her birth, with more private details about her mother’s desperation to have a child and knowing there had to be some way out in the universe for it to happen.
This was our way, my angel. We wouldn’t have had you any other
way, and I believe that this was the path we had to take or you wouldn’t have been the amazing person you are. I have watched you grow from a tiny baby to a bright and curious toddler who got into everything because you wanted to know why, to a gangly little girl who was more comfortable with learning things than playing dolls with Alina, to the big, bright girl you are now, having so many interests, but particularly hearing your father’s spy stories. I have no doubt you will be just as unique and amazing when you become a teen and later a woman in your own right.
Phina pushed back the tears that threatened to flood at the memories that popped in her head as she read the words. How could she have forgotten so many of them? She frowned and shook her head. She made herself take deep breaths to compose herself enough to continue. Sundancer’s warm body leaning against her was a comfort, as well as his warm presence in her mind.
Third, I hesitate to share this, but think you should know, those stories your father told? They are not just stories. They are real, or mostly. Your father does like to embellish to tell a good tale. But it’s true that we are spies and we take our job seriously. That is what we are leaving to do. If we don’t make it back, it’s what we died for. I’m sorry we lied to you. It was to protect you and everyone we know. I hope you have remained our sweet girl and haven’t grown bitter or angry since we’ve been gone. If you have, please find a way to release it as it will hurt you.
That was the Mom she remembered. The wise, kind, and patient person she had always been, trying to make sure she, Phina, and her dad lived in harmony together. She turned the page and continued, feeling comforted.
Fourth, baby girl, you need to know that our family is special, and you are the most precious. My family has always had girls, and those girls grow up to be strong, determined women who thrive through adversity. Each of us has certain gifts that some call psychic abilities. Your great-grandmother could sense intent, such as if someone wanted to harm another. She became one of the first female detectives. Your grandmother could persuade others to her point of view and became a politician, though more diplomatic than legislative. She didn’t make anyone do anything against their will, just pushed them to have little shifts of thought. I always knew when someone was lying to me, which became very useful in my career as a spy, and with my cover as a negotiator before we joined the Empire.
