“Do not try to distract me with your hotness. We both know there is food in the fridge.”
My jaw dropped at his choice of words, but I gave him a subtle nod as he got up and went to tend Mae. It was my job. I was the father. Yet he didn’t blink twice about doing so. He was amazing. More than. And, for the night at least, he was mine.
A few minutes later, his voice came over the baby monitor. A decent human being might’ve turned it off. It was the polite thing to do. He probably hadn’t remembered it was on. He used it all day, sure, but he was the one listening. This was different.
Yet I didn’t turn it off. Nope. I went all eavesdropper on him.
“Hello beautiful, I brought you yums.” She stopped crying, and I envisioned him picking her up, cradling her in his arms just as if she were his own. She wasn’t and never would be. Lauren was her mother and would always be even though she was no longer with her.
I had a feeling Lauren would approve of what I was hearing, though—Zave being so much the alpha our daughter needed, even if his role in her life was both non-traditional and paid. Zave loved the girls. I could see it, and, most importantly, they felt it, Maggie going so far as saying so whereas Mae was all about the smile she gave when he walked in the room. Yes. Lauren would approve.
“You were hungry, weren’t you? You are a lucky little girl the way your Daddy had food all ready for you. He is sleeping now, though. Dads need that, you know. They work hard, especially your daddy. He has two jobs. He is your alpha and your omega. That’s a hard go. Good thing he has such amazing little girls.”
I reached over and shut off the monitor. It was too personal. I’d thought I’d hear some silly bedtime story or maybe him telling her about the pretty diaper he had picked out for her. He was great at narrating with her, and I was pretty sure she’d be an early talker because of it.
But him telling her about me and with such reverence in his voice? That about broke me and made me feel like a creepy intruder.
I climbed under the covers, suddenly feeling exposed, and was startled when he waltzed back in about five minutes later as my eyes were starting to sag.
“Did you want me to leave?”
Never. “You can stay.” I held open the blanket for him, and he dropped the towel that was wrapped around him. “Can you turn on the baby monitor?”
“Sure.” He turned it on on his way to bed, crawling beside me. “You turned it off.” His voice stammered slightly in a reaction I couldn’t quite understand.
“I, umm…I heard you talking about me, and it felt rude,” I confessed.
“I don’t know which part you heard, but I can assure you I meant every word.”
Which part? What had I missed?
“Do you really want to know?” He tapped my nose.
“I asked out loud?” Was his scent that intoxicating?
“No, omega. I just pay attention to your expressions. I see you.”
I see you. And wasn’t that everything an omega could ever ask for?
Chapter Eighteen
Zave
I held my breath as I lay on my back and opened my arms to Ronnie. Our interlude earlier was amazing, but short. With the clock ticking again on Mae’s sleepy time, we had long enough for more of the above, if my omega was up for it.
“Did you want to go to sleep?” I asked, tiptoeing around the elephant in the room so there would be no pressure. “Or…” Because the elephant was there.
“Sleep?” He rested his head on my chest, but what brushed my leg was anything but relaxed. “How old do you think I am that I’d just fall asleep with the alpha of my dreams in my bed?”
“The…” I swallowed hard. “I used to pretend that after I stopped by the library and we chatted, I’d be waiting outside to walk you home. I didn’t like the idea of you alone that late at night.”
“Yeah?” He looked up at me, a soft smile tilting his lips. “How come you never offered?”
I brushed a strand of hair from his face, the better to take in his expression. “Would you have said yes?”
His nod rubbed his cheek against my nipple, and I gave a little shudder. “Alpha, I would have said yes, please.”
I mentally cursed the young man I’d been, too in love and too dense to pick up on cues. “I guess I wanted it, wanted you, too bad. I was pretty callow. Can you forgive me?”
“Are you going to fuck me?”
“I should wash your mouth out with soap if you keep talking that way, naughty omega.”
“I’d prefer a spanking.” He sighed. “Now it’s out. I like spanking.”
“But you never lay a hand on your daughters.” Not that I didn’t understand what he was getting at.
“Nope. Never spank children. It’s a bad idea.” He winked. “But sometimes, a grownup needs a few swats, or maybe”—he closed his eyes—“a stroke or two of the belt.”
“Omega...I had no idea. But far be it from me to spare the rod and spoil the hot guy. I’m thinking not tonight though.” I rubbed his back, willing him to look at me. “Tonight, I’d like to do just what you asked. But when it’s, shall we say, expedient, maybe we can arrange an evening alone and explore each other in more depth.”
His eyes slammed open. “Depth...are you saying you’d let me top you?”
Lacing my fingers into his hair, I gave a sharp tug. “No. Not top me. Just return the favor on what I’m about to do to you.” I rolled, tucking him underneath me. “That is, maybe. But I must say”—I stroked my cock like it was possible for it to get harder—“the thought of marking that perfect ass with my handprints has its charms.”
I urged his legs apart and knelt between them, still holding my dick. “It’s a shame we have to keep things quiet.”
His breath hitched. “Why is that, alpha?”
Positioning the tip at his opening, I rubbed it in the generous amount of slick before thrusting inside. “Because I would love to make you scream my name.” So much. Retreating, I rocked my hips forward again, sinking deeper into his body. “For a man who’s given birth twice, you’re very tight.”
“Too tight?” he panted.
“Oh, never too tight, omega.” I pulled out almost all the way then slammed in balls deep. “I think you’re just right.”
And those were the last words I managed as my lower brain took over and I pounded into him, wanting to fill him, to mark him, to ruin him for anyone else. The worst had happened, and I was not even able to kid myself that this was casual. This was where I belonged, and if he didn’t agree, I didn’t know how I’d survive the loss. In and out, harder and faster, I closed my eyes and opened them to see him rubbing himself. And that was just...too...much.
I grabbed a pillow and stuffed it in my mouth to stifle my roar as my cum jetted into his ass and I swelled into the knot I’d never experienced with anyone else. What had been tight was now, despite my words, almost too tight. Yet, at the same time, just right. A velvet glove caressing me while we floated there in the negative space that was the knotting. Ronnie groaned low, and his cum splattered my chest, spurting forth in impossible amounts, considering I’d drunk him dry less than an hour before.
I let the pillow fall because, in silencing me, it had almost suffocated me. Not that I cared, except I didn’t want to pass out and squash him beneath me. When the knot finally began to abate, I bent close to kiss his forehead, his nose, his cheeks. His lips. A kiss that held all my desires, years of yearning. A kiss of homecoming and a plea to all the gods that he return my feelings.
Sweet sweet omega.
I rolled again to lie on my back and cuddle him close, my arm wrapped around him. I breathed in the scent of our combined arousal. Sweet, spicy, a little acrid as cum always smelled after a few moments. But it was us.
Why the hell hadn’t I ever offered to walk him home? Was I a coward?
No...never a coward. But something had held me back, made me wait for the right time. For now...maybe.
A sharp rap on the door jerked me from dro
wsy musings, and Ronnie jerked the blanket over us.
“Daddy, I had a bad dream.”
We eyed one another.
“What should we do, Ronnie?” Because I might be alpha, but she was his daughter.
“I’ll take care of it. Just stay here.” And he was by the door, belting a robe around his waist, then gone into the hallway.
He was right, of course. It was too soon for her to know we were a thing. If we were a thing. But did that mean I was his secret? Because that wasn’t going to work either.
Before he came back, I was in my own bed alone.
Chapter Nineteen
Ronnie
It shouldn’t have been a surprise that I came back into my room to find an empty bed. Maggie coming to the door had to have freaked him out. And not because he didn’t love her. Of course, he did. But being caught with your lover by their young daughter was the stuff nightmares were made of.
Thankfully, I’d taught Maggie many moons ago not to walk into closed rooms. Sure, it was after she barged into the bathroom on a visiting nurse as they were using the toilet and not because I was a genius father, but still. Her nightmare had been about jail.
Jail.
I’d had to reassure her multiple times that not all fathers go to jail and that jail was a consequence for actions I had no intention of doing before she eased enough to go back to sleep. I wasn’t one to hide things from the kids. It wasn’t fair to them. People had advised me to not let her know how sick her mother was, but Maggie was smart, and us hiding it from her would’ve caused mistrust as well as all the emotions that came with losing her mother. No, hiding things from a child was wrong.
Which was exactly the thought that kept me up all night.
I wanted Zave. There was no denying that. And it wasn’t just in the knot me, alpha way. No, I wanted him in all ways. I enjoyed his company. He fit in with my family. And he had a way of making me feel like I wasn’t a complete mess.
Wanting him wasn’t the issue. No, what to do about Maggie was. Hiding Zave and my relationship—if it even was that—felt wrong. But so was sharing it with her. She was a child, and he was her manny. He was my employee.
What a freaking mess.
My alarm went off before sleep could ever take me away from my stresses. Zave and I were going to need time to talk and figure things out. Jumping into bed with him hadn’t been the most prudent of ideas from this perspective, but I’d never regret it. When we came together, I felt whole. We were right together. The question remained, however, were we right together at the right time? And that, I feared, had an answer I didn’t even want to begin to ponder.
So, instead, I got out of bed and took a quick shower, knowing that, while Mae did wake up once the night before to eat, she’d be ready soon for another meal. She was always ready to eat. I half wondered if it was stubbornness to show those doctors she was going to be normal. If so—good on her.
I exited my room just as she began to stir. At least I had perfect timing in one part of my life.
“Good morning, Mae.” I walked into her room singsonging. “You slept well last night.” And had been having longer and longer stretches of sleep. I so very much wasn’t complaining about that.
I stopped short, seeing Zave in the room already changing her.
“You know you don’t need to do that.” I wasn’t awkward at all or anything. Ugg. “I mean thanks.”
“I figured I’d get her ready for breakfast when she started fussing as I walked by.” He shrugged, not once meeting my eyes.
Was this how it would be? All awkward and weird. No, we needed to talk. So much talking.
“Is Maggie up?” She usually needed a little prodding in the morning.
“I just woke her. She is brushing her teeth and has some notion that today we are going to have french toast.” He gave me a look I couldn’t quite decipher as he zipped up Mae’s sleeper and brought her to me.
“Yes. Daddy always makes french toast after a nightmare.” Her arms came around me, startling the daylights outta me since I hadn’t seen her enter. I’d only made that breakfast after a nightmare one time, but who could argue with such sweetness?
“Let me feed Mae, and I will get right on that.” I’d also need to call work and let them know I’d be taking some personal leave this morning.
“I can start things,” Zave offered as he handed me Mae.
“Uncle Zave, you make amazing food, but no one makes french toast like Daddy.” It was a good thing she was so adorable in her bossiness.
“Your daddy needs to work, little one.”
“I am going in late today, so why don’t you guys get ready for your day while I feed Mae and then french toast for everyone?”
They agreed, and as soon as they left, I sat in the rocker and called work while I fed Mae. It was a light morning, and I’d probably have to make up the time on the other end, but it felt important to do this and, when push came to shove, family came first. Always.
I’d barely hung up when my phone rang. It was my in-laws and far too early in the day for them to be calling.
“Hello?” I answered, half expecting it to be bad news.
“Maggie’s birthday is coming up.” Okay not the way I thought the conversation would go. But then again, my father-in-law had been weird long before his daughter ever got sick.
“It is. And I haven’t invited you only because I haven’t planned anything yet.” I figured I’d just cut him off at the pass. They should know I’d always have them in our lives and the distance between us was because it was what they needed, not the other way around. But then again, as much as my heart broke the day Lauren left us, theirs broke harder. She was their baby. Parents were not supposed to outlive their kids. That wasn’t what we signed up for even if it was how things sometimes turned out.
“Nana and I had an idea.” His nerves shone in the slight quiver in his voice. “We thought maybe we could have the girls for the weekend and take them to the Puppies on Ice show on Saturday. I know it isn’t her birthday yet, but you said Mae is doing better, and we feel bad—the NICU—we—we’re sorry.”
I forced myself not to cry as all of his pain came through the phone. I’d understood when they pulled back. Seeing their daughter pass from this world only to see her child almost reach the same fate—I got it. Had I the luxury of cowering into a little ball in the corner and sobbing, I’d have done it, too. But, unlike them, I had Maggie at home needing me, and that gave me the strength I needed to get by.
“Mae is doing amazingly, yes. In fact, the doctors say her last surgery was a complete success.”
“Is...is that a yes?” he stammered.
“Of course, that’s a yes. I would never keep them from you. I have a ton of milk in the freezer, too, so if you decide you want them more often, you only need to ask.” And I’d make a better effort at reaching out to them as well. My parents were gone before the girls were born, so it was only fair they had every moment they could with their grandparents.
We made arrangements and said our goodbyes. I had french toast to make.
Chapter Twenty
Zave
When I emerged, freshly showered and shaved, my family...the family was seated at the table. Maggie had a mountain of french toast drowned in maple syrup in front of her, and she hummed as she gobbled it.
“That must be some good toast,” I said, pausing next to Ronnie. “Did you guys save me any?”
He winked at me and pointed toward the oven with his fork. “It’s keeping warm. Bacon also.” I saw none on their plates, but since nobody in this family turned down a crispy strip of the good stuff, I assumed they’d already eaten theirs. Opening the oven door, I found a cookie sheet stacked with more golden-brown egg custard soaked bread and at least a pound of bacon. If Ronnie was good at french toast, he was the master of bacon. It was amazing he even ate what I made that was acceptable but not the perfectly rendered pigsicles that faced me now.
“Anyone want more bacon?” I s
ang out.
“Me!” Maggie crooned. “It’s good for nightmares.” She definitely had a system. Next, she’d be telling us frosting cured colds.
I grasped the cookie sheet with an oven mitt and carried it over to the table, spatula in my other hand. As I’d suspected, two plates were raised to be refilled. After serving them then piling goodies on my own, I returned the pan to the oven and sat down to dig in. Two bites later, I closed my eyes with a big sigh. Opening them, I beamed at Ronnie. “Omega, you are a breakfast wizard.”
Maggie nodded vigorously. “You should try his chilikillies.”
“Chilikillies?” I turned to Ronnie. “I’ve never heard of those. Is it like eating chili for breakfast?” Because I wasn’t sure I was down with that.
The crumbs that could have sprayed the table with his laughter were fortunately stopped by the napkin he clapped over his mouth. After he calmed himself, he said, “Chilaquiles. It’s crispy tortilla strips topped with cheese and...oh I use this secret mole sauce…” His smile faded, and deep sadness appeared in his eyes. “We went to Mexico on our honeymoon and got the chef to give us the recipe for the sauce. We always wanted to go back when we had a family...”
I couldn’t stand seeing him hurt and stood in time to draw him into me as he said, “But there wasn’t time.”
Maggie flung herself into the mix, little arms enfolding her daddy, and we all clung together for a long moment until a wail over the baby monitor broke the silence.
“I’ve got this.” Easing from the huddle, I settled Maggie on her daddy’s lap and went to the nursery. A few moments later, I returned with Mae in her fresh diaper and onesie. “She’s hungry, Ronnie. Do you want me to get a bottle?”
He wiped his eyes and settled Maggie on her feet. “Get Uncle Zave to give you a warm piece of french toast, honey, while I feed your little sister.”
But she stood in front of him, her little hands flat on his thighs, watching him solemnly. “Daddy, are you sad?”
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