“I got everything.” He held out a chair for me all gentleman like. It was sweet and romantic and yet somehow reminded me of our weird roles in life.
“You don’t have to do things for me.” I closed my eyes briefly and inhaled deeply. “But I really appreciate that you did all of this for me.” I took my seat.
“You are weirded out still that you are my boss,” he surmised as he took my plate and scooped some of the yummy goodness onto it. He wasn’t asking. He knew. I knew. We just needed to talk about it.
“Sometimes. It’s weird because sometimes you feel like family, and I all but forget that I am not supposed to be begging for your...affections.” I brought a forkful of the pasta to my mouth. It tasted even better than it smelled, the basil and garlic a perfect blend to balance out the acid of the tomatoes. And the cheese—he hadn’t just thrown a bag of shredded mozzarella on it. No. He had blended it with something else, something a bit richer. Magnificent.
“Is affections code for cock?” he teased, probably in response to the orgasm face I was probably wearing. It was that good.
“Pretty much, yeah.” I shoved another forkful into my mouth. I’d have been surprised if I left any in the pan by the end of or meal...date...whatever this was.
“Then beg away.” He winked. Date it was.
“I just don’t want to mess this up.” And that was everything in a nutshell. I liked Zave—more than liked him. And I wanted to give us the best chance we could have to make things work. And sure, we started this entire thing off in an awkward, messed-up kind of way, but that didn’t mean it needed to continue to be either of those.
His hand reached the short distance between us, cupping my cheek. “I don’t want to mess this up either. And it’s hard. I get that. There aren’t only two people involved. Maggie and Mae need to be considered in all of this.” He rubbed his thumb across my cheekbone, allowing his words to sink in. He was right. It wasn’t just us. And at the end of the day, they mattered most.
“They love you.” And they did. Little Mae’s face lit up every time she saw him, and Maggie had to tell me Uncle Zave this and that for at least an hour after I got home.
“I feel like a secret.”
His words slammed into me. He felt like a secret—something to be hidden—something to be ashamed of. Fuck. Had I already ruined our chance at more than a fling?
Chapter Twenty-Five
Zave
And just like that, sexy times weekend changed into something else. And, although I would have been shocked to learn it, I didn’t mind at all. My cock, already recovered and at half-mast, might disagree, but I wasn’t giving it a say, sooo….
But I’d laid it out there. “I feel like a secret.” And wasn’t that exactly the question that could make or break what we had here? Were we a family to go skipping down the street, swinging Maggie between us with Mae riding in her wrap on one of her daddy’s backs? Or was I a manny to take the little ones to the park alone and sit on a bench with the other childcare peeps? And as much as I had planned to keep things status quo until Mae was in preschool...that wasn’t happening now.
It couldn’t. These little girls deserved better than a daddy and caregiver who were humping like bunnies with no real relationship. It was not behavior I wanted to model right in their very own home. And Ronnie deserved better. And so did I. If we were not a couple, one of us was going to meet someone else eventually, and that would leave the unchosen one and the children on the side of the road. Heartbroken.
No, although it might be crazy, it was all or nothing.
But while these thoughts flew through my mind, Ronnie had been right there in front of me, my hand on his cheek, his eyes wide and clear and filled with… I couldn’t dare say it.
“You are only a secret because we haven’t told anyone about us yet,” he breathed. “Not because I want it to stay that way.”
“Are you sure?” I sounded nearly as breathless, even to myself. “Because I understand if you just needed to let off steam.” Liar! I would not understand that in any way shape or form!
“Let off steam?” He blinked, slowly. “I’m not that kind of an omega.”
And I couldn’t stand it. I swept him into my arms and held him close, kissing all of his face, his ears, the top of his head, joy spilling from somewhere deep in inside me. I wanted to whisk him off to bed and show him, but… “I’m glad you’re not, omega. Because I’m not that kind of alpha.” More kissing, but I held the rest of what I wanted to do for later. We had a lifetime for naked fun but not a whole lot of days in our immediate future for uninterrupted talking. By the time we had the girls in bed and our jobs done for the day, we were too tired for decision-making. This was the only opportunity for a while. But we would need some time alone together.
“Do you suppose your in-laws would take the girls say...one weekend a month?” I asked. “Can they handle it?”
He grimaced. “They will love having the girls. I’m more nervous about telling them about us. They are still very deeply grieving their daughter, and they may think my moving on is a bad idea.”
“I don’t want to make their pain any worse…”
But Ronnie leaned in, lips parted. “Nothing could make it worse. But they are part of my family, so if you are, you’ll all have to accept one another eventually.”
I brushed my lips over his before lifting my head to look at him again. “They are important to our girls. So they are important to me. This is not the way I ever thought my mating would go, you know.”
He grinned, mischief in his smile. “You thought you’d meet a single omega, go on dates, eventually get a little more serious, then a year later, get engaged...get married then talk about babies.”
“Something like that.” I kissed him again, savoring all that made him Ronnie, the scent, the taste, the acceptance of my lead in our lovemaking, yet with no trace of passivity. “But I never dreamed of anything as wonderful as the readymade family you’ve brought to the table. I hate that the girls lost their mother, and that you lost someone you loved so much.” Drawing a deep breath, I prepared to say what I thought I needed to before we could go forward. “I can’t take her place, but I pledge to be the alpha to your omega, to be there for your girls and even for the in-laws because they are your family, and therefore mine.”
It felt like a marriage vow, and when I lifted Ronnie in my arms and carried him to his room, which would be ours, and over the threshold, it felt like our wedding night.
The sexy times portion of the weekend kicked into high gear again, but this time with a different intensity. We would have a wedding in a bit, once we worked everything else out, but for now this was the joining, the bonding, the promise.
By Sunday morning, I was exhausted and bordering on dehydration as we sat at the breakfast table, drinking juice and coffee and eating mushroom omelets with toasted English muffins. Strawberry jam had never tasted as good. We discussed the future that spread before us and made plans for the next year or so. I would continue to go to school and watch the girls, he would continue to do his job and hang with us. Nothing changing much really, we’d figure out the money thing. By the time Mae was in preschool, I’d be teaching that level. Maybe her class. Maybe open a school. Anything was possible.
And Nana and Papi...they texted that they’d drop the girls off on their way to Costco. They walked in looking cheerful and smiling. And Nana hugged us both and told the girls, be good for your daddies.
And I might have cried. A little.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Ronnie
When my in-laws called Zave one of the girls’ dads as if it were no big deal, my jaw dropped. My in-laws were many things, subtle never being one of them. The smiles on their faces and the way they looked cheerful for the first time in I couldn’t remember how long told me they meant it as a compliment. And a compliment it was.
Maggie didn’t seem to notice, or if she did, it didn’t faze her. The entire thing was surreal. And perfect. And had
my eyes welling up with tears.
That was three weeks ago, and while Zave and I hadn’t talked about Nana and her not-so-subtle endorsement of our blooming relationship, it had changed things. Changed things for the better. Of course there was still Maggie to tell.
“Mae is asleep, and Maggie has been out for an hour.” Zave came in the living room and plopped on the couch as I played with my spreadsheet. Bill time was far from my favorite part of the month. At least most of it was automated now and didn’t require check writing and envelope mailing.
“Thanks for that. I am almost done.” I gave the spreadsheet one last check for accuracy and closed down the computer.
“I wish you would stop paying me.” He slouched back into the couch. This had been an ongoing conversation for the past week. He wanted me not to pay him which meant he was basically my slave and I just couldn’t stomach that. Literally. I puked after he brought it up the day before. I agreed that money was an issue, but there had to be a better way to handle it than just not paying him.
“I wish you would move in my bed,” I countered. It was a juvenile way to go, and I knew it. But going to sleep without him by my side was growing more difficult with each passing day.
“And what about Maggie?” And this was where he was right. Mae might be a baby and not understand what was going on between us, but Maggie was older and at an impressionable age. We needed to be role models for her, and that was why, at the end of the day, he went to his room and I stayed in mine. Perhaps if we hadn’t gotten a taste of how amazing it was to wake up in each other’s arms, then maybe it wouldn’t be so hard. But we had and it was.
“She knows you’re mine.” At least according to a couple of things her nana had let slip when she’d called. Which happened with more frequency since their weekend with the girls, and I couldn’t be happier. It was good for all of them—for all of us. I imagined Lauren smiling down on us, happy we were starting to truly put the pieces of our lives back together.
“We haven’t told her.” He rotated so that his body was facing mine. “We need to do that.”
He wasn’t wrong. But how do you do that. Daddy and Zave like to cuddle, so he is going to share my bedroom. No, that wouldn’t work. It was all so complicated.
“And then you will move into my bedroom?”
He shook his head. I’d have let it go if I thought for a second that he didn’t want to be by my side. He wanted it. Probably as badly as I did. He just saw different obstacles.
“Then we can do something better.” He raised an eyebrow, a smirk crossing his lips. He was setting me up for something. Something he was quite proud of. Sneaky alpha.
“Better than that?” Because waking up in his arms everyday sounded pretty much near perfect to me. Like a dream come true.
“I was thinking something more like this.” He slid off the couch and onto his knees in front of me. If it weren’t for the box that had magically appeared in his hand, I’d have jumped to the conclusion that he was looking for a little dessert. But he sat there on one knee with a little black box in his hand.
“Is that…? Is that what I think it is?” Sure, we had all but said we would get married. This…this made it real. Possibly too real.
“If you think it is me asking you to be my husband, then, yes, it is.”
I opened and closed my mouth like a stupid fish, not having an inkling what to say or not say. Did I love him? Absolutely. Had I said it? Not in those words. In my actions—every chance I could, but words mattered, and on that front, I’d given him nothing.
“And before you think of the twenty reasons we should wait...” It still amazed me how much he knew me. “I already talked to Lauren’s parents and got their blessings.”
My fish impression began again, and he brought his finger to my lips. He’d asked for my hand in marriage of the people who it mattered to most. For me. For us. Had he not silenced me with his finger, I doubted words could come.
“If we are going to be the kind of couple who can share a bed and kiss without looking for little eyes, then marriage is a good way to do that and still be responsible parents.” Which sounded like a mature thing to do, but not an argument for marriage. Not really. He did have a point, though. Darn him with his intelligence and sexiness and all the things that had my stomach in a flurry.
“And if I were your husband and a stay-at-home father, there’d be no need for you to feel guilty about not paying me.” Logic. He also had logic on his side. He’d officially thought of everything.
“It’s a no brainer.” He winked and took the ring from the box. A simple band with a ring of pale lavender running through the center. Love at first sight. At least that was what the color meant in roses.
“Marriage is a no brainer,” I teased in the hopes of holding back the tears of joy that were beginning to fill my eyes.
“I am super romantic.” He held the ring just inches from my finger, and I gave my nod of approval. He slipped it on, and it fit so perfectly.
“I wouldn’t go that far.” I tear escaped my eye. “But you are everything I need and more. I love you, Zave Arianda. I would be honored to be your husband.”
“Ronnie Jones, I love you. You have officially made me the happiest man in the world.”
He’d been wrong on that. I was the happiest man in the world, but before I could counter argue his conclusion, he distracted me with his lips. They were worth losing the silly argument I had been building in my head. They were worth everything.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Zave
We were engaged. The Zave from back in college would never have believed what Zave all these years later was experiencing. At the time, I’d have sworn I wanted Ronnie right then and been horrified at the thought he might find and love someone else. Probably hated that person for taking away what I didn’t have anyway. But as we sat in the tiny chairs in Maggie’s room and drank pretend tea, I silently thanked the fates who sent Lauren into Ronnie’s life at the right time. Without her, we wouldn’t have Maggie or Mae.
“More tea, Daddy? Uncle Zave?” She held up the pink plastic teapot embossed with a giant bunny, one brow arched in question. She looked so adorable in her frilly apron and floppy hat it was all I could do not to scoop her up and cuddle her.
“I’ll have some,” Ronnie told her and then, after she poured, pretended to sip. “Very delicious tea.”
“Thank you, Daddy,” she said, eating one of the real cookies she and I had decorated for our party.
“Maggie, what if Uncle Zave wasn’t your uncle anymore?”
She looked alarmed, eyes wide and mouth dropping open. “Is Uncle Zave going away? No, don’t go away, Uncle Zave!” She jumped up and ran to throw herself in my lap. “Make him stay with us, Daddy.”
“Oh no,” Ronnie dropped to his knees beside us and took her little hands. “I didn’t mean he’s going away. I’m sorry, honey.”
“Mama went away.” Yep, she was so sunny we sometimes overlooked the grief she must still be feeling.
“Mama went to Heaven, honey,” her daddy said. “But that’s not what I mean. Uncle Zave and Daddy are going to get married.”
She cocked her head and looked from one of us to the other. “But you were married to Mama.”
“Yes, and now I will be married to Uncle Zave.” He patted her hand. “Do you think that’s okay?”
I was so tense…
I could almost see the wheels turning in her little head. “So, if you get married, what will you be?”
I smiled at both of them. “What do you want me to be, Maggie?” I held my breath.
“You can be Daddy Zave, but not now.” She wagged a finger in my direction. “After you marry my daddy. You’re still Uncle Zave now, right?”
Worked for me. I gave her a high-five, and she turned toward Ronnie with her little hand in the air, but he clapped a hand over his mouth and fled. And this was not the first time.
“Look, Maggie, Daddy has an upset tummy. Can you put the t
ea things away while I go check on him?”
She was in agreement, so I followed my omega to the bathroom, stopping along the way to pick up something in my room. I tapped on the door and slipped inside.
Ronnie sat on the tile floor, leaning against the tub. He was pale as a ghost. “Sorry about that, is Maggie okay?”
I plopped down next to him. “She’s fine, but we’ve both noticed your tummy troubles of late, so I stopped at the drugstore earlier and brought you something.”
He waved me off. “I don’t need any medicine…”
I grasped his hand and placed the package in it. “It’s not medicine, omega.”
He looked down at what he held and, if anything, got paler. “Oh no. I can’t be...I never got nauseous with the girls. It’s not how I do pregnant.”
I took the box back and opened it. “Humor me. Just so we can rule it out, okay? But if you aren’t pregnant, we need to see a doctor anyway because something is not working properly.”
He sighed and pushed to stand. “You have no idea how much that scares me. What if something is wrong with me? The girls need me.”
I enfolded him in my arms and tugged him close. “Omega, first, if anything is wrong, we’ll take care of it. Every illness isn’t fatal. Especially for people our age. But before we consider other options, pee on the stick.”
He laughed a little. “Love how you say that. ‘Pee on the stick.’ Not something someone says to me every day. But I will do it.” He faced away from me, and I heard the crinkle of the packing materials. Ronnie looked over his shoulder at me. “Here goes nothing. Do you think we’re ready for a baby?”
“Well, since we already have two…” I winked at him. “I don’t want to jinx us by saying you make beautiful babies and I wouldn’t mind having another one in our life.”
He finished and came to stand next to me. “Okay, now we wait.”
And wait.
And wait.
We sat side by side on the tub edge, hands locked together. “Is it two minutes yet?” he asked.
A Bundle of Mannies Page 9
