by Nikki Wild
I tried to imagine what that must have been like. Risking your place among nobility, your reputation, for the sweetest, most forbidden prize… surrounded by thorns. One wrong move, and you’re pricked.
Was what we were doing any different?
“Once Abner was sent across the English Channel to live the rest of his life in disgrace, three things happened.
“The first was that his only sibling, his younger brother Reginald, was made the immediate patriarch and representative of the family. Reginald was a quiet and meek man, used to the comfort of his brother’s shadow. Thrust into the light, he had to ensure that this sort of scandal and disgrace would never undermine us ever again.
“The second was that the Windsor-Carlyle family was dropped from the court. Permanently disgraced by the King and Queen, we lost our chair in the court until our bloodline proved itself worthy of nobility once more.
“Finally, we were given the ultimate punishment for the former Lord Abner’s transgression – we lost our claim to the Windsor title. Clipped from the tree, so to speak. To appease the Crown, our name was split back in twain, and we were henceforth simply the Carlyle clan. For a prestigious family dating back to the very roots of Anglo-Saxon history, this was the ultimate insult… and a vicious punishment.”
“That’s why your grandparents are so fixated on maintaining the sanctity of the family name,” I realized. “They want their place back at the top of English society?”
Dalton smirked bitterly. “They’re obsessed – particularly my grandfather, Raleigh. They believe it to be their birthright. I don’t know why it even matters to them anymore. The British Empire is gone. The sun has set on our grip over the world. What’s the point anymore? They already have the money and the luxuries… but that’s never been enough to them.”
I could sympathize a little.
In the broadest sense of the thought, my banquet serving gave me some common ground with his grandparents. Although fancy balls and events indisputably paled in comparison to the royal court, I knew what it was like to be that close to the glitz and the glamor, but doomed to always sulk in the shadows.
We saw that world, interacted with it, but knew that we’d never really be a part of it.
Dalton shook his head, clearing his thoughts. “Anyway. Now you know about the minor kink in my family’s history.”
“But why don’t they like your dad?” I asked. “I mean, he’s their only child, right? Why are they so estranged from him? From you?”
“Father isn’t their only child. He just so happens to be the surviving child.”
That, I wasn’t expecting.
“You had an uncle?”
“An aunt,” Dalton corrected me, a faint smile on his lips. “Auntie Gloria died when I was very young, but I still remember her smile, and the faint scent of lavender in her perfume…”
“What happened?”
Dalton’s eyes hardened.
“If you, I mean, don’t mind me asking…” I realized with some shame that I’d probably jerked him away from some pleasant memories of her.
“Car accident,” he answered bitterly. “A drunk driver rammed her car in the driver’s side. There wasn’t anything the paramedics could do to save her. Pronounced dead at the scene.”
“Oh god,” I whispered. “I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah, well… she was their favorite, you know? Gloria was not only the firstborn, but she was the doting, loving daughter who lived up to their high expectations. She was brilliant, polite, very well spoken, and fell in line with their demands.”
“And your father wasn’t?”
“What you’ve got to remember about Dad is that he grew up in the Seventies, and he was the younger child. Gloria developed maturity and grace quickly – enough so that she overrode their initial qualms about her gender. Probably never occurred to them that a daughter could redeem the family name. But as for their son… Dad never really wanted any part of their world. He didn’t sit well with endless etiquette classes, primers on court manners, and classical piano lessons. Rebellion and escapism are probably why he developed his drug addiction.”
“Drug addiction?”
“Oh yeah,” Dalton continued. “That’s why Dad and I aren’t positively loaded right now. You see, love, it started with pot. After a while, he moved on up to heroin. Wasn’t too long before Dad was in and out of rehab centers, sullying the good family name. Don’t get me wrong, he cleaned himself up and never looked back. He even got himself into a good engineering school, but by then his relationship with them was damaged beyond repair. I know that my grandmother forgave him, but her husband always had a stiff upper lip…”
“I would have never guessed,” I thought to myself. “He seems so kind and well-adjusted.”
Privately, I wondered if Will still suffered. Did he feel those compulsions anymore? Would that ever truly leave his heart?
“So, he wrapped up his degree just in time to be cut off from the family money. At least he could support himself then. He turned to a life of meaningless sex, and I was the eventual end result there.”
“Do you know anything about your mother?” I asked him, curiously.
“Never met her. Don’t know a single thing about her, other than she was a beautiful and talented hairdresser. Tried to put me up for adoption but Dad took me instead.”
“Explains why you’re so presentable,” I chuckled. “But you’ve never wanted to find out about her?”
“Nope. If she’s willing to throw me away, I don’t need her,” he shrugged. “But anyway. That’s enough about the past. I’m more interested in the future now.”
“The future?” My breath sucked back between my lips, and I felt a telling patter in my chest.
“The future,” Dalton repeated firmly, his eyes searching mine. “Tell me about yours. What do you want most in this world, love?
I thought on this a moment.
A smile smile crossed my lips.
“You.”
Sixteen
The day that my world came crashing down began just like any other.
It was Friday morning. Clara and I sat together in psychology class. She’d gone ahead and bought herself a psychology textbook, but we still read along together and compared notes as Professor Pritchard gave his lectures.
Our parents were going to be coming back into town from their honeymoon this afternoon. Clara and I had already made plans to pick them up from the airport and bring them back to their place. That’s why we’d wound up riding together in her car to school.
If only we could tell them, I wistfully thought. But no… that would have been a complete disaster. Neither of us were particularly close to our parents, but we didn’t need to antagonize what tenuous relationships we had with them over this… not yet, at any rate.
I walked Clara to her next class afterwards, and she planted a quick kiss on my cheek. “See you after school,” she grinned. “You coming over after we grab the honeymooners?”
“Of course,” I replied, giving her ass a quick little squeeze. “I’ll knock out that psych assignment in the student union while I wait for you to wrap up, and then we’ll drive down and get them together.”
“So diligent,” she mocked me flirtatiously. “Okay, I’ll text you when I’m done with my last class.”
The school day was a breeze, just like all the others, but something was slightly wrong in the air. I wasn’t sure what had me uneasy, but whatever it was… I didn’t like it.
The feeling only got worse throughout the day. The closer it came to time to leave for the airport, the more agitated I became.
I was so pissed off at the end of the day that I skipped my last class, resigning myself to failing whatever weekend homework I was getting assigned.
“Are you okay?” Clara asked as we climbed into her car together. “You look like you’re on edge.”
“I’m not really sure,” I conceded with a shrug. “Something’s got me kind of bothered… not really sure
what.”
“Is it because of our parents?” She asked, tilting her head. “I mean, I’ve been kind of thinking about that all day…”
“What do you mean?”
She turned the engine on and pulled towards the main campus road. “Well, it’s just that we’ve been able to sort of pretend that they weren’t a problem, right? Neither of them were too important to our lives before the wedding, and they’ve been gone since then on this honeymoon of theirs… but now they're coming back.”
“Well, there is that,” I agreed.
“Listen, Dalton,” Clara turned to me as we pulled up to a red light. “I know I had my own… misgivings over this union of ours… but I've made my choice. I’m here. You and I, we’re in this together, okay? And I’ll face down whatever troubles come our way, because we’ll always be together.”
I was taken aback by her confidence.
“That’s the most conviction I’ve heard out of you ever,” I observed.
“Yeah, well,” Clara grinned, pulling us forward after the light turned green, “like I said: I’ve had a lot of time to think about it today.”
We played music most of the way there, lightening the mood up with some contemporary pop. I didn’t really care for the radio all that much, especially since the hot singles were almost entirely electronic music, but I noticed one particular rock song that came on.
“Wait, what’s this?”
“Oh, this? It’s this rock band that’s been dominating the radio waves these days,” she chuckled. “Trent Masters and the Whiplash. You like it?”
“Sure. Turn that up.”
We listened to the rest of the song, and a smile crossed my face. “Yeah, that harkens back to the shit I listened to when I was growing up. All that late-nineties grunge music… it’s obvious who their influences are.”
“Yeah. It’s funny, that Trent guy can come off as a real prick in the interviews, but he writes all of his own lyrics… and they can be quite deep, actually. He seems like a total misogynistic ass-hat, but there’s a rumor that he’s dating some mystery bartender chick…”
I noticed her tone. “Sad that the big rockstar asshole is off the field?”
“Nah,” Clara giggled. “I’m more into the military types myself. Bonus points if they’re foreign. She can keep him. Maybe that chick will even level him out a little.”
“You don’t say.”
Another electronic piece came on, and the topic subsided.
It wasn’t much longer before we were pulling into the arrival terminals for the airport. Dad and Sarah were waving at us from the curb, their suitcases stacked to the side.
Clara turned to me with exasperation.
“Well… you ready for this trainwreck?”
I faked an overly dramatic sigh. “Let’s just get this over with…”
Our parents seemed surprised that we were picking them up together, although it meant that they could continue sitting in the back together without leaving the passenger seat conspicuously empty.
“So, how was it?” I asked as we hopped back on the road and headed for the interstate. “Did you enjoy Hawaii?”
“Oh, it was fantastic,” Sarah cooed.
“Nice and bright. Warm. Very pleasing,” my father added. “Wish you could have seen it.”
“Well, maybe I will someday,” I replied wistfully, thinking of my intentions to travel the world. “It sure seems bloody nice.”
“How’s school going?” Sarah asked quickly.
“Oh, it’s fine. Just stressful,” Clara answered, keeping her eyes on the road. “As I told you before, I scheduled a ton of really tough classes this semester… the next one should be a damned sight easier…”
“And you, Dalton?” Father asked.
“Much easier that hers,” I answered him dutifully. “We even have a class together, incidentally.”
Clara flashed me a quick look, and I realized that I’d spoken a little too enthusiastically.
“Picking your parents up together… going to school together… you know what’s going on here, don’t you, Will?” Sarah asked, a haughty tone entering her voice. “My god, I should have seen this coming before… it was inevitable with these two, with their ages…”
Panic gripped at my throat. I turned to Clara, who swiftly shot me a look that told me everything I needed to know about her emotional well-being: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK…
“That’s right,” Father answered.
I braced myself for it…
“They’re just perfect for each other!” Sarah chuckled. “We should have seen this coming, really. What a pair they make.”
Wait.
What?
“That’s right,” Father nodded.
Clara and I shared a bemused glance. Our eyes communicated a flurry of thoughts back and forth, completely taken by surprise that this was happening… and going so well.
“Would you care to elaborate?” I asked.
“Well, it’s pretty obvious, isn’t it?” Sarah snootily chuckled. “You two are excellent together. And here we were, afraid that you wouldn’t get along…”
Father chimed in again. “We were afraid that you’d clash, or just grow to hate each other. But I’m glad that you’re apparently getting along. We’d hate for you two siblings to be at each other’s throats, or just ignore each other…”
Right, it dawned on me. Siblings.
“Wait, what are you–?” Clara began.
“They’re happy that we’ve accepted each other as part of the family,” I hinted.
Realization crossed Clara’s face. “Oh, right. That’s right, big brother.”
When she followed that up with a nervous chuckle, I spotted our parents glancing at each other strangely. I decided to quickly avert the topic.
“So, what are you doing first, now that you’re back?” I asked.
“Oh, well,” Sarah answered for them, “William is going to move into the house… we’re hiring some movers to pack up and shift everything over. The essentials, at least.”
“That’s right,” he agreed. “I’m going to keep an office in the spare bedroom, but there’s not much point in me continuing to pay that expensive lease. I’ve already spoken with the owner, and we’ve come to an agreement…”
I let them prattle on about the future while Clara stayed focused on the road. She wasn’t really paying attention to their conversation, and it was obvious that she had been slightly rattled by the exchange earlier.
The car ride seemed like it dragged on for ages. However, after an hour and a half (dragged out by rush-hour traffic), we were dropping them off at Sarah’s house. I gave them a quick hand with the bags before jumping back into the car and getting rid of them again.
“What a nightmare,” I shook my head.
“Yeah, tell me about it,” Clara quietly added.
I turned to her, afraid that she had been shaken by the conversational mix-up earlier but, to my surprise, she was giggling instead.
“What is it?”
Clara began laughing in earnest. “How stupid was that? We thought that they were saying they wanted us together? God, it was so ambiguous! I could die, right here and now!”
We shared a hearty laugh.
“Yeah, that was awful,” I replied as we headed back towards the interstate. “But at least it’s over now…”
The feeling of crushing tension seemed to have mostly dissipated, although I felt it linger just a little. To my satisfaction, though, Clara seemed well adjusted after the car ride. In fact, she seemed to shrug off the weirdness of it altogether – something that probably would have rattled her and come between us before.
A few hours later, after a hearty session of sex in her bedroom, we were curled up together and everything was right with the world once more. I thought perhaps that it was time for a real heart-to-heart, given what we had been able to laugh off during the afternoon.
“What are your goals?” I asked her, stroking her hair lightly as she lay again
st my chest. “I don’t know what your plans are, or what you want from life… why don’t you tell me?”
I felt Clara smile against my skin.
“You mean, like, for the future?” Clara asked. “I already answered that. I want a future with you.” She planted a quick kiss against my shoulder.
“And I with you,” I replied, “but surely there’s something else you want out of life. I don’t really expect you to have figured out what you’re doing with your future, but I’ve got a few years on you.”
“That’s right, old man,” Clara teased. “You’re getting up there. Gotta get your intentions for the days ahead set in stone.”
“At twenty-six years old? Something like that, yeah,” I nodded. “But you first. What are your plans?”
“Nothing in particular,” she shrugged.
“Nothing at all?”
“What can I say?” Clara answered. “I mean, I’m only into my first year of college. Right now, I’m going for a biology major, but who knows what I’ll be wanting to do in a year, maybe two. As for now… all I’ve ever really wanted to do was get away from here and start again, somewhere fresh.”
“You’re bored of it here,” I observed.
“Yeah. I mean, I’ve tagged along with Natalie once or twice when she’s gone on a family vacation, but that’s not quite the same… as much as I would hate to leave her, I’ve gotta figure things out for myself.”
“I’m kind of surprised,” I chuckled. “You leaving Natalie? I’ll believe it when I see it.”
She shot me a dirty, teasing look.
“Where do you want to go?” I followed up.
“I don’t know.”
“Out of the country?”
“What? No, definitely not,” Clara shook her head. “I’m fine with things just as they are here. When I say I want to ‘get away from here’, I mean that I want to leave the state. Go to a different city. Live a different way.”
“Nothing will teach you that like heading abroad,” I hinted.
“Nah. Doesn’t really interest me,” she insisted. “It’s dangerous abroad. Plus, there’s the whole matter of learning other languages, etiquette, customs… I’d like to keep it simple for the time being.
