by Nikki Wild
“You could have warned me about that,” I said, as Bear reached down and pulled me to my feet.
“And miss the look on your face?” he teased, pulling me in for a hug. “No way!”
I let his arms wrap around me, grateful for the return of the simple stability that I took for granted. His warmth was comforting and I melted into him.
“You did good,” he said.
“Thanks,” I replied, the shaking in my voice muffled by his chest pressed against my face. I was so shaken up and yet I couldn’t deny the tiny thrill I felt knowing I’d pulled it off without killing myself.
“Let’s go inside,” he whispered into my hair. I nodded and he pulled away, swooped the bags up and we trudged through the snow into the cabin.
Fourteen
I’d never seen a more beautiful place.
“This place is absolutely amazing, but you’re sure we couldn’t have just driven here?” I asked. Bear sat the bags down by the door.
We walked straight into the great room, the huge vaulted ceilings accented by huge, wooden beams. A huge bear rug lay in front of a massive stone fireplace that reigned over the room, reaching all the way up to the highest point of the ceiling. A huge fire was already roaring in it. The great room opened up to the second floor, with a long cat walk lining the farthest wall, making the second floor look like an open loft. The windows were the biggest I’d ever seen and as I spun around, drinking in the room, I saw nothing but darkness and twinkling stars out of them.
“Do you always repel in like a Navy Seal?” I asked.
His laughter echoed off the walls and I delighted at the way the skin around his eyes wrinkled. Suddenly, all the tension was gone from his face. He was relaxed, happy and calm. The hardness that usually lingered behind his eyes had disappeared.
“It takes about four hours to drive here. With Alex, it takes one hour,” he shrugged. “I didn’t want to fight traffic and I don’t like wasting my time. I have to get back tomorrow night because the day after tomorrow I have an important meeting with one of my contractors. I’d rather spend that time with you, Chloe.”
He closed the distance between us, wrapping his arms around me and kissing me deeply. I was already breathless from the unexpected near-death scenario and the intensity of his kiss ripped the rest of the oxygen right from my lungs.
I damn near fainted in his arms.
“Let’s get settled,” he said, pulling away and looking down at me, his arms firmly secured around my waist. “I’ll tell Bruce we’re here.”
“Bruce?” I asked.
“Bruce takes care of this place for me. He lives here and when I come up, he cooks for me and helps me out with whatever else I need. You’ll love him.”
“That explains the fire,” I said.
“Yes,” he replied. “Don’t worry, though. You’ll hardly know he’s here.”
I nodded, my breathing starting to return to normal.
“Are we done with adventure time?” I asked. “That was very unexpected.”
He laughed again, sending tingles down my spine.
“We’ve only just begun, darling,” he said, sinking his fingers into my hair and pulling my head back. I gasped in surprise, my nipples hardening immediately as his dark blue eyes peered into mine, the flames from the fireplace reflecting in his dark orbs. “There’ll be nothing nearly as dangerous as getting off the helicopter, so don’t worry, but don’t think for a minute the adventures are over.” His eyes flashed with lust and I shuddered. “I brought you here for a reason, Beauty. You want to get to know each other? You have questions? Well, Chloe,” he whispered, his voice thick with desire. “I have needs. Hopefully, we can get them both answered while we’re here.”
I was speechless. His fingers pulling my hair felt so deliciously forbidden. It hurt, but god did I love it. I wanted him to pull harder. I wanted his hands on me. Everywhere. I wanted him to touch me firmly, deeply, everywhere he could reach. I wanted everything he had to offer. And then I wanted more. I peered into his eyes, meeting his hungry gaze with my own, a small smile on my face. His lips captured mine in a passionate, fiery kiss and I whimpered, opening my mouth, submitting to his heat, igniting it with my own.
We melted together, his hand sliding from my hair as his arms slid around me, holding me tightly as his tongue tangled with mine and everything around us disappeared. The heat from the fire was no match for the heat that flowed between us.
Heavy footsteps sounded behind us and I jumped away from Bear like I’d been shot. I’d forgotten where we were and that we weren’t alone.
Bear wasn’t fazed. He laughed at my reaction and greeted the man who rounded the corner with a huge hug.
“Bruce, it’s been too long,” he said, patting the large man on the back. He was as big as a linebacker, his wide shoulders stretching the thin fabric of his white t-shirt. He wore jeans and was barefoot. He was handsome, but nowhere near as handsome as Bear. He had long blonde hair and his tanned skin made him look like he lived in the sun. But it was his smile that was his greatest attribute. I liked him right away and his apple green eyes were kind and open.
“You must be Chloe,” he said, pulling away from Bear’s hug and hugging me close. “It’s very nice to meet you.”
“You too, Bruce,” I replied, as he released me.
“How’ve the slopes been treating you?” Bear asked.
“Killer, dude! There’s some serious pow-pow out there this year. I’ve been waking up at the crack of dawn for the last week to get a go at the freshie,” he said, his blonde waves framing his sun-drenched face.
“You always loved to shred the flake, brother,” Bear said. I looked back and forth, completely lost. Pow-pow? Freshie? Flakes? I made a mental note to ask Bear about it later.
“Excuse me,” I said. “I’d like to freshen up. Where’s the restroom?”
“Of course! I’ll get you something to drink, too, Chloe. Red wine okay?”
I caught Bear’s eye and he winked. I wasn’t about to fall into the wine trap again.
“I’d love a cup of tea, please.”
“You got it,” Bruce said. “The loo is down the hall on the right.”
“Thank you,” I replied, turning away and leaving them to their ski-bum talk. Their voices faded away as they began talking about black diamond trails or something. I knew nothing about skiing. I’d gone once with Harlan and a few friends who were experts at it and they made it seem like it was as easy as riding a bike.
No, it fucking wasn’t.
They’d persuaded me to just jump in with both skis, so to speak, and led me to the top of the intermediate slope before I’d even learned to stop or go or even stand up properly. Then, they zipped down the mountain, leaving me there to figure out how to get down all by myself—which consisted of me standing up and falling down over and over until I reached the bottom. By the time I made it down, I swore I’d never do it again.
I spent the rest of the weekend bundled up with a book by the fire in the cabin we’d rented while they skied their expert asses off. I’d been so mad at Harlan after that weekend that I didn’t speak to him for a week afterwards.
I walked down the hall, in awe of Bear’s cabin. The entire house seemed to be made of wood. Log beams, log paneled walls, and the railings on the huge stairs matched the thick logs that made up the railing that lined the cat walk up top. I felt like I was in the biggest tree house in existence. The amazing thing about it was the coziness, though. In spite of its enormous size, the crackling fire and the soft brown couches and tapestry rugs made it inviting and warm.
By the time I made it back to Bear and Bruce, I never wanted to leave.
Bruce handed me a huge mug of steaming tea and excused himself quickly, leaving Bear and I alone. We stood next to the huge fireplace, the warmth penetrating my skin and warming my bones.
“Feeling a little calmer now, I hope?” he asked.
“I’m fine now, yes, thank you,” I replied.
�
��You have to admit it was a little exciting, right?” he winked.
“If you call nearly dying exciting, sure.”
“What is life without risk, Chloe?” he asked.
I opened my mouth and promptly shut it. He had a point. I’d spent my life risking nothing, always taking the safest route when pressed. At least I had until lately. Coming to New York was the first risk I’d taken in a long time and it had already led to some of the most exciting moments of my life.
“I guess you have a point,” I admitted.
He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine quickly.
“I’m glad you’re starting to see things my way,” he replied.
“Do I have a choice?” I asked, laughing.
He grew serious at my words, taking my cup from me and setting it on a table behind him, before turning back to me and pulling me into his arms. I snaked my arms around his waist, reveling in his closeness, inhaling the musky scent of him.
“You always have a choice, Chloe. If you had insisted, I would have made Alex turn the helicopter around and we’d have gone back to the city.”
“That’s not what I meant—,”
“—that’s why I made you create a safe word. I never want you to do anything with me that you don’t want to do. In or out of bed.” His eyes squinted in concern as he peered down at me.
“I know, Bear,” I replied, “I appreciate that.”
“Good,” he said, kissing me again, “it’s important to me.”
“I understand,” I nodded. Okay, so maybe I didn’t fully understand, because I still had so many questions, but I think I was beginning to.
His insistence on clear consent made me respect him immensely, though. Did I feel like I had complete control? Maybe not. But honestly, that was part of the thrill.
Someday, I’d use that safe word, I’d say no, just to test him. But not today. Not now. I wanted nothing more than to say yes to everything when it came to him. He was testing my limits and in turn I was testing them for myself. I had no idea how far we would go, how far I wanted to go, but I knew I’d only figure that out by taking it further and further.
I just wasn’t sure what that looked like.
I could only hope he did.
“Bruce made us a lovely dinner. Are you hungry?”
“I’m starved,” I replied. And I was.
“Good, you’ll need the fuel for later,” he growled, as he reached down and squeezed my ass. My nipples hardened under my sweater, anticipation rushing through my veins. “Come on, let’s eat.”
We walked hand in hand into the dining room, which perfectly matched the rest of the house. A huge slab of redwood with live edges made up the dining table, surrounded by antique shaker chairs.
A feast was laid out for us.
“Bruce did all this? This looks amazing!” I said.
“Bruce is my best friend. He’s an amazing cook. I’m an awful cook. He used to be a District Attorney in Manhattan but he burned out after ten years of watching innocent men go to jail. He’s equal parts hippie and ski bum. He has a huge heart and that kind of work, while he was doing it with a pure heart, proved to be too much for him. Every case broke his heart. It’s impossible to leave that kind of work at the office, you know?”
“Wow, yeah, I can understand that,” I replied, as he pulled out my chair for me and I sat down. He sat across from me and poured wine in our glasses from a bottle that Bruce had already opened.
“Not too much,” I said, throwing my hand up. “I don’t want a repeat of the other night.”
“You weren’t so bad,” he said.
“I was bad enough that you didn’t stay,” I said.
“Well, as I said then, we have plenty of time,” he said.
“Do we?” I asked, slamming my mouth shut as soon as the words flew out.
Bear cocked his head and smiled.
“Don’t we?” he asked. “Are you planning on going somewhere any time soon?”
“No, but—to be honest, Bear, I have no idea what is going on here. So therefore, I have no idea how long to expect it to last.”
“That’s fair,” he said. “I haven’t exactly been an open book, have I? And this is hardly a typical situation.”
“Yeah,” I whispered, looking down at my empty plate. Bruce had made pot roast and potatoes and carrots, surrounded by bowls of fruit and big silver platters of cakes and pastries and pies.
“Look, we have also have plenty of time to talk, Chloe. Eat!”
“Okay,” I said, piling roast on my plate. We ate silently, stealing glances at each other as we devoured the incredibly delicious food.
“How often do you come out here? If I had Bruce to cook for me everyday, I’d never leave,” I said.
“I try to get out here at least once a month, if not more. The city gets to be too much sometimes and I come out here to unwind. I bought the land five years ago and it took a year to build the house. There’s also a little cottage out back that Bruce lives in full-time, with a little stream behind that. I’ll show you in the morning, it’s beautiful.”
“This whole place is just stunning, Bear,” I replied.
“It’s an entirely different world than my penthouse in the city,” he said, between bites. “You’ll see it soon.”
I nodded, once again wondering what I was supposed to think about all of this. Where was this going? Were we dating? Were we just fucking? He was acting like I was his girlfriend almost and we’d still not defined or clarified what this actually was.
“Why did your parents name you Bear?” I asked.
“They didn’t,” he smiled. “It’s actually Barrett. One of my friends at school started calling me Bear in the eight grade. My parents hated it, so I adopted it just to piss them off.”
“I see. Tell me about your childhood,” I asked.
“Must I?” he winked. I shrugged in response. I had to start somewhere with my questions and the beginning always seemed like a good place to start. “Alright, alright…let’s see. Where should I begin? My parents were both overachievers. Mom was a real-estate developer from London. Dad was an investment banker from Queens. They met when Mom came to the States for a conference, but she hated him at first. He chased her all the way back to England and finally won her heart during afternoon tea at the Brown Hotel. Dad had done all his research, finding out the best place to take her in the city. Queen Victoria used to take her tea there every day and Dad regaled Mom with stories of the Royals all afternoon. She said as soon as he began reciting the recipe for the famous orange cake they baked from scratch there at the hotel, she knew she loved him, just for making so much of an effort to impress her.”
“That’s a sweet story,” I said.
“It is. Unfortunately, the rest of the story doesn’t tingle the tongue quite as pleasantly.”
“No?”
“No. Mom relocated but she basically had to start her career from scratch, which took most of her time. Dad was already a workaholic, so they rarely saw each other. The honeymoon period ended quickly. They were working so hard and spent so little time together that when she found out she was pregnant with me two years later, she didn’t believe it. She made the doctor take the test three times. To say I was a surprise is an understatement.”
“I see,” I replied, so happy to hear about his past finally.
“After I was born, Mom went right back to work and I was raised by a parade of nannies.”
“Oh, dear.”
“The nannies weren’t bad. They were nice enough, I guess. But even though my parents weren’t around, they both insisted on ruling my life with an iron fist. Making every decision for me and regulating my activities like their own schedules. I was constantly running from music lessons to Latin lessons to soccer practice. I didn’t really get to be much of a kid.”
“Did you ask for more free time?”
“I tried. But I knew negotiating with me wasn’t something high on their list of priorities, so I gave up after a whil
e. I did what they asked of me, what they thought was best for me, whether I liked it or not. Most of the time, I hated the things they made me do.”
“Like what?” I asked.
“Well, let’s just say if I never see another trombone in my life, I’ll be happy. I hated soccer, too. I wanted to play football and basketball and all the full-contact sports, but Mom insisted she wasn’t about to let her only son play such barbaric games.”
“What else were you interested in?”
“I wanted to be a writer, actually,” he replied. “I loved literature and growing up, I dreamed of being the next Mark Twain, or maybe a poet, but Dad said writers didn’t make money these days and insisted I find a more lucrative career.”
“I see,” I replied. “Do you still write?”
“Not really,” he shrugged. “I wrote a few screenplays in college. I have a half-written novel that keeps me up at night sometimes, but I don’t really have time for those things these days. My company takes up a lot of my time and energy.”
“It’s important to find a balance, though, isn’t it?”
“I guess that’s what people say, but I’ve never been much of a balanced individual. I tend to go all-in with everything I do.”
“I see,” I said, feeing a slight blush creep up my neck.
“What else, Chloe?” he asked, smiling at me, his eyes deep as the ocean.
I took a deep breath, the warmth of the wine spreading through me deliciously.
“Where are your parents now?” I asked.
“Dead. Long gone. Dad died of stomach cancer and Mom killed herself a year later.”
“Oh, my god!” I exclaimed. “I had no idea.”
“It’s okay,” he replied. “I don’t talk about it much. It happened my senior year at Yale. I finished school and started my company right away, determined to make it on my own. Sure, I inherited tons of money and I could have just lived off of that, become a writer and hung out on the slopes with Bruce for the rest of my life, but I needed to be in control of something. They’d ruled my life for so long, once they were gone, I was free. It’s hard to explain.”
