And as if he sensed her eyes, Timothy looked at her. In only a week they would be married. She was counting the days, the seconds, wanting it to be now. She smiled at him, and he smiled back. This time, when Matilda was hit by that wave of need, she wondered how she could possibly hold out until then.
* * *
The carriage ride to the Duke of Dunstead’s manor was in complete silence. Elizabeth stared out the window the entire time, her arm wrapped around Jackson who was huddled into her side. She knew he was staring at the Duke, but she didn’t bother to say anything about it, knowing she wouldn’t be able to stop him.
No, not the Duke. Christopher. My husband.
The thought still didn’t fit well in her mind and it nearly made her laugh. When they had first met, he had whispered such sweet things to her, she would have given anything to be able to marry him. Her soft heart had fallen hard for him, though he was a gentleman she hardly knew, and she had been the first to agree with the idea of marrying him when she found she was pregnant.
It was truly funny how much could change since then. Now, things couldn’t possibly be more different.
“What is his name?” Christopher asked.
Elizabeth eyes shot to him. “Pardon?”
“The boy.” Christopher jerked his chin at Jackson. “I never asked for his name. I… I’m just now realizing.”
Elizabeth stared at him for a moment longer.
He can’t be serious, can he?
He hadn’t once thought to ask what the name of his child was until they were on their way to his manor after their wedding?
“Jackson,” she said to him, trying not to be stiff. She had made a vow to herself that she would make the best of this marriage, being as cordial as she could.
Christopher nodded. Then, to her surprise, he leaned closer to Jackson. Jackson pushed closer to her side. “Good day, Jackson,” Christopher greeted warmly.
Jackson mumbled a greeting that was lost within the fabric of her dress. Elizabeth stared at Christopher. The man sitting before her kept his eyes on his son, his expression gentle. “Do you know who I am?” he asked Jackson.
Jackson shook his head slowly.
“I’m your father, Jackson.”
“What are you doing?” Elizabeth demanded.
Christopher looked up at her. “What do you mean?”
“Why are you saying those things to him? Things you never cared about before?”
Slowly, he leaned back in his chair and sighed. “I’ve been a terrible person,” he said. “I know. It took a couple punches to the jaw for that to completely sink in. The way I treated you, the way I handled the situation after you discovered you were pregnant. It was horrible of me. I’m sorry.”
Elizabeth didn’t say anything. An apology was the last thing she expected to hear from a man like him.
“We’re married now,” Christopher went on. “I don’t expect you to like me but I do hope we can live amicably in the same home. If only for the sake of Jackson.”
“You never cared about him before. Why do you care about him now?” She knew her tone was a tad bit more accusatory than it should have been but she couldn’t help herself.
“I know the error of my ways. I should have never abandoned you.”
“You should have never seduced me in the first place. You took advantage of my innocence.”
“And for that I am also sorry.” He released a hefty breath. “Believe me, I don’t expect things to be perfect between us, but I do know that living with someone you hate can tear into you. I hope that isn’t the case between us.”
“Do you hate me?” she asked, not because she cared but because she wondered if he truly had the audacity to have such an emotion when she was the one who had been wronged.
“No,” he said with a shake of his head. “I don’t hate you, and I hope that one day, you would grow to be able to say the same.”
Elizabeth said nothing to that and Christopher decided to leave it at that as well. Another round of silence fell over the carriage, but this time, a different set of thoughts consumed her. She could feel herself stirring. She could feel herself wanting to see the truth in his words and believe him. If he truly meant what he said, maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. She could tolerate him, grow with him. Maybe even learn to love him?
She shook her head at the thought. Too presumptuous. For now, Elizabeth was only content with thinking that maybe, just maybe, the life she’d hoped to live wasn’t such a distant hope after all.
Chapter 37
Though it felt like forever, the day finally came. Matilda stood in the middle of her bedchamber, her lady’s maids flitting around her as they got her into her dress. Elizabeth sat on her bed, watching approvingly with a wide smile on her face.
“Will you smile, Matilda?” she exclaimed suddenly, making Matilda jump. “You look as if you aren’t even happy to be getting married and we all know that isn’t the case.”
“What does that mean?”
“Simply that you have been harping about this wedding every chance you get. Why don’t you put a smile on that face and show it?”
Matilda tried to, but she was so nervous that it only came out like a pitiful grimace. Elizabeth shook her head disapprovingly.
“What’s the problem?” she asked.
“I’m terribly anxious, Elizabeth,” Matilda replied.
“Whatever for? He’s going to be so happy when he sees how beautiful you look.”
Matilda wasn’t so sure. Now that she was staring at herself in her mirror, she couldn’t help but notice the small imperfections about herself that she hadn’t noticed before. Her nose was a little too pointed. Would he wake up one morning and realized he didn’t like it? And what of her slightly-too-wide hips? They may be suitable for bearing children but what of later when there was no longer a need to? Would he still find them interesting?
“What are you thinking now?” Elizabeth said with a sigh.
“Could you leave us for now?” Matilda said to the maids. They nodded in unison leaving Matilda and Elizabeth alone with only an hour to spare before the commencement of the wedding. Somewhere in the courtyard neighboring the garden, guests were staring to gather. Maybe Timothy had already started waiting for her. The thought made her heartbeat spike.
“Come now,” Elizabeth said when Matilda came to sit next to her. “Tell me what’s bothering you so.”
“I know it’s foolish to think this way but … I can’t help but think about the marriage between our parents.”
“And what of it?”
“They loved each other, did they not? I don’t think Father never loved Mother but somewhere along the line, he stopped. I can’t help but wonder if that might happen to Timothy and me. What if he grows to fall out of love with me? After years of being together and raising our children, it’s completely possible, isn’t it?”
“It is,” Elizabeth said with a nod.
Matilda’s eyes widened. That wasn’t what she had been expecting to hear. “What?”
“It is very possible,” Elizabeth said. “I always thought Mother and Father were happy together when all this time, Father was not being faithful and Mother was harboring resentment for it. They did a wonderful job of hiding it from us and each other and it’s very possible that the same thing could happen to you and Timothy.”
“Thank you, Elizabeth,” Matilda said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “That’s exactly what I wanted you to say.”
Elizabeth giggled. “I’m not done. What I’m really trying to say is that anything is possible. But when I see the way Timothy looks at you Matilda, I don’t doubt for a second that he will really hold true to his promise to love and cherish you for as long as he lives. You shouldn’t doubt him, Matilda, or yourself. You’ll fail to enjoy your time together if you do.”
Matilda stared at her. “When did my sister become so wise?”
“I wonder the same thing myself,” she said with another giggle. “I guess this all stem
s from the confidence I have in you two.”
“The same confidence I should be having, shouldn’t I?” she sighed.
“Yes, the very same. Now, call your maids back in so you can finish getting ready to meet your new husband.”
The maids did come back when she called and with their combined effort, they finished putting the beautiful but large wedding dress on her. Elizabeth talked her through the entire thing, making jokes and chattering on and on about other less important things in an effort to distract Matilda from the nervousness she still suffered from. It worked for the most part and Matilda was hit with a bout of nostalgia at their talk, remembering the way they used to before they were married. Now the manor felt much emptier with Elizabeth and Jackson gone.
“Are you ready?” Elizabeth asked her as they made their way to the door.
“Yes,” she breathed even as her hand shook. Despite her fears growing large by the minute, Matilda knew there was nothing she wanted more than to be able to call herself Timothy’s wife, to become the Duchess of Brentminster.
They made their way to the courtyard holding hands. Matilda gripped her sister’s hand much too tightly but Elizabeth never once complained. She only offered her smiles of encouragement.
The moment she spotted Timothy standing on the other side of the courtyard however, all the fears disappeared.
She was struck suddenly by the reality of the situation, that this man was to be her husband. This gentleman who had stumbled into her trying to chase after robbers, who had done so again when dancing with her own sister. The man who always seemed to show up in some way or another became the man she didn’t think she’d be able to resist any longer, no matter how much she tried.
Now, he was to be her husband and soon, the father of her children. Her happy ending.
Matilda felt the smile pull across her face as she made her way toward him. He was smiling as well, a smile so broad she wondered if it hurt. She saw no one else but him, none of the guests or even her sister.
“You look beautiful,” he murmured to her.
Matilda didn’t care about being proper in that moment. If it hadn’t been for the sake of her father, she would have kissed him right then and there. She doubted Timothy would mind overly much.
As the ceremony went on, she only stared at him. How crazy it was to be this in love, to want to give everything she had to this one man. How insane could it be that she believed she could truly be happy by his side? Matilda could hardly believe it but when he slipped that golden band onto her finger, speaking to all that could hear that he took her as his wife, Matilda was a tiny bit closer to knowing its truth.
The rest of the ceremony passed in a blur. Matilda didn’t care much for what was going on around her.
“Matilda, sweetheart,” Timothy said to her and her smile widened.
“Ah, I do like to hear the sound of that.” The celebration was underway, with food being brought out and the wedding cake sitting in the center of the table.
“Is that so? What else do you like? Her Grace? The Duchess of Brentminster?”
“Mm, both excellent, excellent choices you have. Can I have them all?”
“You already do.” And because he could, he kissed her. Matilda leaned into the kiss, no longer caring what others might think. They were married, for heaven’s sake.
“Hey now,” her father said, approaching them with a distasteful stare. “You should take care to remember that your father is still around, Matilda.”
“Yes, Father? And what of it?”
“Well, you know I’d rather not see such a sight.” To emphasize his point the Viscount shuddered in fake disgust.
Matilda could only laugh at it, as did Timothy. She was much too happy to think of a decent thing to say in response. Her father turned to Timothy. “I take it everything has been moved to your manor?”
“It has, My Lord.”
“Please,” the Viscount said raising his hand. “Now that we are family, call me Stephen. And don’t forget what I said about ribbing her as mercilessly as you can.”
“I’ll ensure to keep it in mind, Stephen,” Timothy said on a chuckle. “I think I’m already halfway there.”
“You’re no match for my Father,” Matilda said. “But I’m sure you’ll do just fine.”
They all laughed at that and when Elizabeth came to join them, she laughed as well, though she hadn’t a clue what they were laughing about.
“Congratulations on being wed to my sister, Your Grace,” she told Timothy.
“Thank you, Miss Jones.”
“I don’t think I have to tell you to treat her right, do I?”
“I think I’ve been told that enough,” Timothy joked. “But that is my intention, yes.”
“Good. That’s all I have to say. I should go sit down to eat now. Father? Can you join me?”
The Viscount took the hint and went off with his daughter.
Matilda laughed, shaking her head. “Welcome to the family, Timothy.”
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere but here.”
Epilogue
“My humble abode,” Timothy announced.
Matilda cocked her head to the side, giving him an incredulous look. “If this is what you deem a humble abode then I would love to see what counts as a magnificent manor to you.”
Timothy chuckled a little but the laughter died nearly instantly. They were finally within his manor, as husband and wife. The very moment he had been longing for was finally upon them.
Matilda’s own smile slipped away. Again, he was taken aback by the look in her eyes, the devious look of intent that promised to devour him when she had the chance. It wasn’t the look of a virgin, though he knew she was, and it only served to make his body grow hot with longing.
He took her hand in his. Matilda held his gaze as he led her toward the staircase and up the stairs, her fingers tightening around his in anticipation. The walk to his bedroom seemed to last forever but the seconds that stretched on was filled with intense heat, with an unbridled passion that was begging to be tapped into.
When they arrived at his bedchambers, Timothy swept her up off her feet. Matilda yelped when he did, wrapping her arms around his neck. He held her securely in his arms, capturing her gaze once more, pushing the doors open.
She didn’t look around. She didn’t look away from him. As they slowly made their way to the bed, as he lowered her onto the soft mattress, Matilda held his gaze. Within her eyes, he saw that she was ready for this, that she was eager, that she was putting her trust in him.
It was the trust that had him pausing.
She is a virgin.
Though he knew that to be truth, it really hit him in that moment. She was always so confident, so eager to touch him, to kiss him. She had whispered in his ear in the garden the day he asked her father for her hand in marriage like a lady who knew how to handle herself. But now, as he watched her laying on the bed, he was hit with the realization that she wasn’t experienced. She knew nothing of lovemaking and she was putting her trust in him, knowing he wouldn’t hurt her.
Timothy slowly reached for her sleeve and pulled it down her arm. Matilda didn’t break gaze once. Instead, her breathing grew labored as his touch brought more than just intent. It brought promise.
He took her wedding dress off in a matter of seconds, leaving her on the bed with only her chemise and corset on. Matilda reached for the straps of her chemise but he stopped her. He wanted to be the one to undress her. He wanted the satisfaction of going beneath the layers himself, to the skin he sought underneath.
She shuddered a little when his finger brushed her arm. Timothy took his time taking it off, watching as her breathing grew shallow, as her eyes burned with need. As his slow seductive act brought forth the reaction he had been hoping for—his wife nearly panting with yearning.
The sight of her fully naked on his bed made his knees weak. It was as he had imagined it, perfect with every dip, every curve, every rounded bit of flesh
. Her breasts shone back at him, peaked to perfection, another bit of her that was desperately wanting to be touched. She didn’t move. She only waited for him to make the next move.
Once he was done drinking her in, he laid by her side. He lowered his lips gently to her and kissed her. She kissed him back, just as gently. Perhaps even timidly but he deepened the kiss and she brought the heat she was used to giving him. Timothy ran a hand over her left breast, his fingers pinching her nipple and was satisfied when her body bent to his touch. He continued to kiss her, down to her waist and back up, his lips lingering on the sensitive parts of her body that had her gasp, that made her body buck in response.
The Scandalous Secret 0f The Tempting Duchess (Steamy Historical Regency Romance) Page 27
