by Dori Lavelle
“You said your mother died of—”
“Whatever I told you about my parents was a lie…everything.” He pauses. “It wasn’t the cancer that killed her, but it ate her alive. It was her punishment for not giving a damn about me. But there are many more like her out there, women like you.” He points a finger at me and I shrink into the mattress, wishing I could run.
His mother was the mayor of New Jersey? I search my mind for any female mayors who died of cancer.
“Like her, you deserve to be punished,” he says, his voice filled with tears. It finally hits me that standing before me is not a man, but a child, a kid who is seeking revenge for the rejection he experienced in childhood.
“I’m sorry,” I say cautiously. “I’m sorry about what happened to you.”
“Shut up. You’ve said enough.” He drops back into his chair on top of the folder.
“You can’t punish someone else for your mother’s sins. If she hurt you, that was wrong. But not everyone is like her. Women can have a career and a family, and be good at both.”
“Then why were you crap at being a wife?” He gets up again, grabs the folder, and walks to the door, straightening to his full height before turning around to glare at me. “Enjoy your last few days on earth. There’s no mercy for people like you.”
When he steps out of the room, I throw up at the side of my bed until there’s nothing left inside me.
When Josie comes to check up on me, I tell her all the things Hunter said to me.
The shock on her face only lasts a few seconds, then she brushes it all off as figments of my imagination. There can only be one reason why she refuses to believe me. She’s been bought.
“He paid you, didn’t he?” I blink away the tears. “He gave you money to not only ignore my accusations, but also to give him access to me.”
“Who? That’s…that’s ridiculous.” The nervous laughter that slips past her lips confirms that I’m right.
After pulling herself together, she clears her throat and informs me that I should go to the dining hall for dinner. Then she leaves the room, her back ramrod straight.
Even though I’m terrified of Hunter, I have a plan. I hate to use Nurse Josie to get back my freedom, but what choice do I have? If she doesn’t help me, I’ll threaten to report her to the cops.
Hopefully, I’ll live long enough to keep my promise.
Chapter 18
I lie awake at night, staring into the darkness, afraid of the monster in the dark.
Sooner or later, Hunter will return to kill me. I don’t know how he plans to do it, but I’m starting to make peace with death. I don’t think I have a choice.
There’s nothing I can do to protect myself, not when I’m stuck in a mental hospital. There’s no way I can escape when each of my movements is followed by cameras and the doors are locked.
After Hunter walked out with the promise to return, I begged the nurses again to let me call the cops or anyone who could help me. My request was denied each time. Now here I am, waiting for death to find me, for my light to be extinguished.
I close my eyes tight and turn to face the wall, hugging my knees to my chest.
He can come for me, but I’m prepared to fight him. I’ll leave as much evidence behind that will lead to his arrest. Or maybe I’ll be lucky and someone will catch him trying to murder me.
Even though I don’t intend to, I finally fall asleep. What feels like five minutes later, I hear a shuffle at the door. Someone is opening it.
The invisible hand of fear grabs me by the throat, but it doesn’t stop me from trying to save myself. I sit up in bed and grab the nearest hard object, the alarm clock. I doubt it would do much harm to the intruder, but I feel less helpless with something in my hands.
It’s him. He must have changed his mind about murdering me in a week. I’m too much trouble for him.
Of course, the perfect time for him to kill me is in the middle of the night. In the morning when everyone wakes up, they’ll find me dead in my room. My wrists start to ache as they remember the pain of being sliced by a blade. Is that how he intends to finish the job? Or will he force some dangerous pills down my throat to make it look like I stole them and overdosed? Or maybe he will create a rope from my bed sheet and find a way to hang me.
He moves through the darkness. His clothes whisper with each movement.
My throat starts to close up the closer he gets. Just as I’m about to scream, my name is whispered in the dark.
“It’s me, Nurse Josie. Don’t be scared. Please, don’t make a sound.”
I lower the alarm clock to the bed, my heart still galloping like a wild horse.
“What... What are you doing?”
“I’m here to help you.” She rushes to my bed and takes my hand. “I know everything. I saw it on camera. We need to get you out of here before he comes back.”
Too shocked to respond, I allow myself to be guided.
I’m not alone. I am not alone. Someone cares. Someone sees my pain.
In the darkness, she drapes something over my shoulders and pushes a pair of shoes onto my feet. A rush of warmth envelopes me and tears flood my eyes.
“Hurry,” she says, urging me to follow her out of the room.
In the dimly lit hallway, sounds of snoring and what sounds like someone crying softly escape the rooms and reach my ears. Aside from that, no other sounds can be heard. I find it weird that there are no other nurses around.
Instead of spending my time worrying about it, I should take advantage.
My knees tremble with weakness as Josie urges me to move faster. I force my body to find the strength to push through the resistance. It had given up on life, just as my mind had. Now I have to awaken the desire in me to stay alive.
I have so many questions for Josie, but we don’t have time. Every second counts. I’m putting both my life and her job at risk.
If I survive this, I’ll make it up to her.
The walk seems too long, but we finally make it to an elevator that takes us to the garage where the hospital staff cars are parked.
“Take my car.” Josie points to a white Toyota Corolla and presses car keys into my palm, along with a small plastic bag. I’m about to look inside it, when she tells me there’s no time.
“If the cops won’t help you, save yourself.” With that, she turns around and goes back inside.
My breath is coming out in short gasps as I try to come to terms with what just happened. This is my chance, the only chance I’ll probably get to stay alive.
I rush to the car, glancing behind me in case someone is following. Inside, it smells of Josie’s vanilla-scented perfume. As my hands touch the wheel, a wave of gratitude washes over me and tears roll down my cheeks.
Before I start the car, I quickly look inside the bag she gave me. Air whooshes from my lungs when the first thing I see is a gun. Next to it is a labeled tape. I pick it up to read the label. There’s only one word written on it in blue ink.
Evidence.
As I start the car, I glance at the clock, 2 P.M. I need to get out before someone notices me and tries to stop me.
As soon as I leave the garage, my mind tells me to drive straight to the cops and show them the tape Josie gave me, but the pain brought on by not being believed unfurls inside my belly. What if whatever is on the tape is not enough to prove Hunter’s guilt? What if it’s the wrong kind of evidence?
I grip the steering wheel and shake my head. I can’t go to the cops. If they don’t believe me, they might call Hunter to come and get me.
When I near a red traffic light, I hear a movement in the backseat. I glance behind and my stomach drops.
Oh, my God. It’s Hunter.
“Hi, baby,” he says in an amused voice. “This is a surprising turn of events.” A large grin stretches across his face. “I actually planned to get rid of your nurse friend because she knows a little too much, but you’re a much better reward.”
I throw a glance
at the plastic bag in the passenger seat, ready to pull the trigger if I have to, but he grabs it and pulls out the gun, pressing it into my side.
“No, baby. The only person who will die tonight is you. But we need to find a nice place to end this.” When the traffic lights turn green, he orders me to drive. “There’s a beautiful graveyard not far from here. That’s where we are going. Follow my directions.”
My breath is shaking and my hands are coated with sweat, which is trapped between my palm and the steering wheel.
I thought it was over. I thought I was safe. I’m not sure whether Josie set me up, or if she really didn’t know that Hunter was hiding in her car.
I don’t know what to believe anymore. All I know is that I might die before the sun comes up.
Fuck Hunter and fuck death. I’m not ready to die just yet.
Even though he holds the gun, I’m still in control. He’s in the backseat. I’m the one behind the wheel.
As he calls out the directions, I search my mind for ideas that could rescue me from my devil of a husband. When nothing comes up, I keep driving.
When I glance at him, he presses the gun deeper into my ribs, a silent warning to keep going.
“No evil goes unpunished,” I say, gripping the steering wheel tighter. Since I’m going to die anyway, I might as well pour my heart out. “Sooner or later, your crimes will catch up with you. You’ll be punished for killing my friends and all those women.”
“Is that so?” He lets out a low chuckle. “I’ll have to disappoint you, my love. I’m so much smarter than you think. Yes, I killed all those women, and I got away with murder. This time will be no exception. When you’re no longer here, I’ll leave the country. I’m untouchable.”
“You can run,” I shoot back, still determined to speak up, “but one day, you will get what you deserve. It may not be on this earth, but you will burn in hell.”
“Wrong,” he shouts. “We both know that will never happen. What I’m doing is for the greater good. I’m setting things right by eliminating the bad seeds.”
“Women who refuse to be controlled by their husbands?”
“No, bitches who refuse to see what their role is, who try to go against nature.”
“You are full of shit. I regret the day I set eyes on you. You make me sick to the core of my being.”
Angered by my response, he grabs the back of my neck and squeezes so tight pain rushes to my brain. I grit my teeth to prevent myself from screaming, but I lose momentary control of the car. When he lets go, I tighten my hands around the wheel and force myself to drive straight.
“Turn left at the next traffic light.” He wedges himself between the two front seats. “I’ve had enough of this bullshit. It’s time to end this my way.”
“Or we could end it my way,” I shout back. I’ve got an idea. It came to me the moment I almost veered off the road. And before I can turn it over in my mind and come up with reasons why I should not do it, I take action. I have nothing to lose anymore. I might as well try to save myself. If I die in the process, so be it.
I focus my eyes on a large pole ahead of us.
“What the fuck are you doing? I said turn left.”
“Fuck what you want, Hunter. It’s over. I’m tired of being pushed around by you.” My voice is deeper and stronger than it has been the last days.
I hold my breath and hit the gas. As the car moves faster, the wheels humming beneath me, my chest feels like it’s about to burst. I’m terrified, but I’d rather die this way than at Hunter’s hands.
“Are you out of your fucking mind?” he shouts.
The sound of fear in his voice sends adrenaline rushing through my veins. It’s all I need to drive me to face my own fears. I used to be afraid of death, but not anymore. I’ve had enough time to get ready for it, but he hasn’t.
“Out of my mind? No, you bastard. I’m finally thinking straight.” I have nothing but revenge to hold on to.
He moves the gun from my side to hold tight to the front seats. There’s no time for him to put on his seatbelt. Everything is going too fast.
At the last second, the fear of death makes me change my mind. I try to brake, but it’s too late.
As the car nears the pole at record speed, we both scream out. The sound of the vehicle hitting the pole is deafening.
The lights. So many lights. They hurt my head.
I close my eyes, but someone is urging me to keep them open. I don’t want to. I want to sleep. I’m tired and the pain is too much.
But the voice gets louder and louder, hurting my brain. When the pain inside my head gets unbearable, I open my eyes again. The light hurts me less.
At first, I just see lights and blurry faces looking down at me. I try to speak, but my lips refuse to move.
“You’re going to be all right, Amanda,” someone says. Her voice sounds distant and soothing. “Just keep your eyes open for me, okay?”
After a few painful breaths, I finally start to see clearer. I don’t recognize any of the faces looking down at me, doctors and nurses.
They speak to each other in hushed voices. They smile at me.
“She’s out of the woods,” someone says. “She’ll be fine.”
Out of the woods. What does that mean?
Some of the people in the room leave. Only two stay behind. A doctor and a nurse.
The nurse presses a hand to my forehead. “Welcome back,” she says.
“Where...” I swallow hard. “Where?”
“You’re in the hospital, Amanda. But you will be fine.”
The gray-haired doctor shines a light into my eyes. I follow the light. He nods with satisfaction. I must be doing something right.
He drops the flashlight into his breast pocket. “Amanda,” he says. “Do you remember what happened?”
I want to shake my head, but I know it will hurt, so I do nothing. I focus on lying as still as possible. It hurts less this way.
“You were in a car accident,” the nurse says gently. “You were very lucky to survive with only a few bruises and a concussion. But you’ll be on your feet soon enough.”
I remember now. I remember everything. I remember him. I remember the deafening crash. I remember my fear, and his.
I part my lips to speak. What I’m about to ask is important. “Where is he?”
“Your husband?” The doctor asks and glances at the nurse before returning his gaze to me. “I’m sorry,” he says. “He didn’t make it.”
I start to cry, hot tears rolling down my cheeks. The doctor pats my shoulder and leaves the room, leaving the nurse to comfort me.
They think I’m grieving, but they’re wrong. I’m crying tears of joy and relief.
“I’m so sorry for your loss,” she says.
I think it’s funny, so I stop crying and start laughing. I sound like I’m croaking, but the nurse gets it. She looks horrified.
“He deserved to die. He was a bad man.” I pull in a breath. It hurts so much. “I want to speak...I want to speak to the cops.”
“Oh, ummm. Yes, yes, of course. They’re waiting to talk to you as well. But would you not like to rest first?”
“No.” My voice comes out stronger this time. “I need to speak to them. Now.”
I’m not even sure why I want to speak to the cops. Hunter is gone, and he can’t hurt me anymore. I no longer need their help.
The nurse respects my wishes and calls in the officer. My breath catches when our eyes meet. It’s Officer Slovak, Rosemary’s husband. He tells me that Hunter died on the spot, after he went flying through the windshield.
I tell him everything that happened, stopping only to breathe. I also tell him about the tape Nurse Josie gave me. The families of the other women that Hunter murdered deserve to know what really happened to their loved ones.
“I’m sorry,” he says, twisting his cap in his hands. His face has gone pale. “I should have seen what was going on.”
“Yes, you should have.” Pain spre
ads through my chest. “You were at the house. You should have seen the signs. Instead, I was treated like a crazy person.”
“Again, I am terribly sorry.”
I sigh. “Look, it wasn’t your fault. It’s mine. I should have seen the signs as well.”
“Is there anything at all I can do for you?”
“I need to make a phone call. I want to call my mom. She must be worried.”
Tears flood my eyes when it hits me that I can’t call my best friends because they’re dead, and it’s my fault for being so blind.
My mom answers on the third ring. When she hears my voice, she starts to sob so hard that we don’t have much of a conversation.
It doesn’t matter. I’m alive. I’ll get to see her again very soon.
Chapter 19
I awaken from a nightmare, covered in sweat. Gulping down breaths, I grab the sheets and pull them up to my chest. My eyes scan the room for any sign of danger.
It’s been two days since Hunter died, and it still feels as though he’s still here. Sometimes I smell his cologne. I know he is gone because I was asked to identify his corpse. The man I had feared so much, my husband, will no longer hurt anyone else.
I’m still shaken by everything that has happened, and reeling with shock that I managed to get away from him, to survive. But I’m glad I did.
Since my mind is running wild, sleep refuses to welcome me again.
The doctors told me they’re keeping me for another day to make sure I’m really fine, especially since I have other bruises from before the accident. After that, I’ll be free to go. I don’t even remember how it feels to be free. I’m free on the outside, but inside I still feel like a caged bird. It will take time, lots of time for me to find myself again, to find my joy. But what if I don’t? What if Hunter has damaged me beyond repair and there’s no going back?
How long will it take for me to pick up the pieces? Will the wounds Hunter left on my heart ever heal? I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for what happened to Vivian and Karen. If I didn’t fall in love with Hunter, they will still be alive.
