by J. M. Dabney
“Harper, baby,” he said her name and then he had an arm full of Harper. She had her face buried against his neck. Her body shook, and tears were warm against his skin. He held her tighter. He knew it was going to happen and even though her crying broke him, it was the silence with which she cried that hurt the most. He raised his hand and cupped the back of her head, stroked her soft hair as he let her get it all out.
“Just give me some goddamned tweezers, and I’ll take it out my fucking self.”
“Quit being a fucking dick, Joker, let them take you in,” Bull growled as he appeared next to the gurney.
“Fuck you, man.”
“Ghost, we set up Psycho’s old trailer for y’all to crash at tonight until we can get everything cleaned up and fixed.”
“I appreciate that. Where’s Gregory?”
“Putting in supplies for the night. Lily sent out a little medicine if Harper needed it.”
“I’m not hearing this,” Pelter shook his head and stormed off.
“Knew that would get rid of him. Linus said Bill set up on the Northeast side of your property. Signs of a camp, maybe a few days’ worth of trash.”
“Any other sign of him?”
“Liv said it looks like he’s cleared out. They did a perimeter search, no sign of a vehicle, just some tracks.”
“We’ll go pack a bag for a night or two.”
“Y’all taking Killer with y’all,” Joker asked.
Harper’s anguish suddenly turned to laughter, and his own lips started twitching. Why he was surprised, he didn’t know.
“Who the hell is Killer?”
Someone produced the one-pound Killer and Bull lost it as Joker held the puppy to his chest.
“Don’t make fun of my dog. Don’t underestimate her, just because she ain’t big.”
Just then Killer went on the defense and let out the cutest warning growls anyone would ever hear. But what he noticed more was the way Joker gently scratched Killer’s back and gave the barest smile.
Bull leaned to the side and whispered, “He’s smiling, should we take it away from him?”
“Naw, he’s fine. We’ll take Killer and Tiny with us don’t worry about it. I’m going to take Harper inside, grab some things.”
Bull nodded in answer never taking his gaze off Joker and the man’s new friend.
He led Harper toward the house. She held tight to him. When they were inside, she pulled him to a stop. He smiled as he looked down at her, and raised his hands to wipe her tear-stained face. She was slightly snotty, and her eyes were red-rimmed from crying, but still beautiful. He opened his mouth to tell her, to say he loved her, but she deserved to hear it when they weren’t standing on broken glass with police and paramedics outside, not to mention a whole crude mouthed and foul tempered security team.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“This is all my fault, I brought him out here. Your home wouldn’t be ruined if you hadn’t have been nice to me.”
“You stop that now. It’s our home. Windows and everything can be fixed, your safety and happiness is more important than some four walls. We’ll go stay out at Bull’s place for a few days while we figure out what needs to be done. After that, we’ll come home.”
“Maybe I should go back to Kyle’s or see if I can get my apartment back.”
“No, Harper, we knew something would happen, so it’s a little more extreme than we probably anticipated. That doesn’t mean anything has changed.”
“You still want to be with me?”
“Of course, that hasn’t changed. Now, what we’re going to do is take Bull up on the offer of the trailer. So, go pack a few things, and we’ll get going.”
She nodded and rose on her toes and gave him a quick kiss before hurrying away.
This might have turned into a step back, and he was going to have to fight against her guilt, but that didn’t change the fact he thought she was worth it. They’d catch Bill. He’d make Harper his, and he’d prove all he wanted was her. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t gone into a relationship with Harper knowing things would be equal parts familiar and different.
He loved Harper, everything about her, and all he wanted was her to be herself. She might not think it, but she was a strong, amazing woman. Surviving in Powers as the only out transwoman took courage and strength she didn’t realize she possessed. He saw her and loved her for her.
He hurried off to their room. When they returned home, he’d talk to her about moving her things. He needed more than her presence in their bed. He wanted her to comprehend that this was her home. That they were together. He didn’t know if she quite got it yet. He was patient with her, understood this was all new to her. It was new to him too.
If he were honest with himself, his relationship with Joe had existed too long as a youthful crush that turned into routine. What he felt for Harper was stronger—different—and everything he’d always dreamed of when he thought about the perfect partner.
He opened drawers, stuffed a few days’ worth of jeans and t-shirts, and essentials into a small duffel bag. He heard Harper moving around the kitchen, he was sure she was gathering what the puppies needed. Zipping the bag closed, he picked it up and jogged downstairs.
She was moving around the kitchen, and Tiny running around her feet.
“Man, take this thing.” Bull held out Killer.
The man acted like it was going to go for his throat. Killer was trying to shake out of his hands. Her tiny body twisted back and forth as she snapped her microscopic teeth.
“How the hell did you find a rat with Joker’s personality?”
“She’s just fine,” Harper said and removed Killer from Bull’s huge hands, then set Killer on the floor. “Go play with your sister.”
“He didn’t want to give her up, but the paramedics wouldn’t let him take it. Y’all about ready, Gregory is tearing my phone up wondering are we headed that way yet.”
Bull smiled every time he said Gregory’s name. The mean and rough man softened at every mention of his husband or when they were together. It was like Bull was two different people, the one with Gregory and the one away from Gregory. It was odd and sometimes disconcerting to see.
“I’m ready. Harper, do you have everything?”
“Yeah.”
He watched as she carefully put the puppies into the carrier, grabbed the basket with everything the animals would need, and then slipped her own bag onto her shoulder. She seemed sad and defeated, but she attempted to hide it. It didn’t work with him, and they’d talk when they got to Bull’s place. He stepped forward and grabbed the carrier.
Harper needed her rest. He nudged her forward, and they followed Bull outside. Gideon talked to Pelter for a few minutes, thanked everyone, and wanted to get somewhere else so he could take care of his woman.
Nineteen
She Wasn’t a Victim
I’m not a victim, Harper repeated the phrase as she stared into the cloudy mirror of the tiny bathroom. Crazy thoughts kept assailing her. Half-formed plans of running someplace Bill couldn’t find her. Hallucinations of turning her mental and emotional pain into a physical reminder. Her eyes were red and dark circles marred the tender skin beneath them.
She’d brought all this on Gideon. This was his reward for caring about her.
That wasn’t getting her anywhere, and she could stay in there all night. Gideon had given her space since they’d settled into the trailer an hour ago. Thankfully, they hadn’t stayed in the main house too long before he’d made their excuses. She loved the crews, especially Bull and Gregory, but she started to feel suffocated by all the attention.
All she wanted was quiet—to spend time alone with Gideon, but what was she doing instead? Hiding from him. She still feared when the time would come when he grew tired of her or finally realized she wasn’t worth the trouble.
She wouldn’t cry, she ordered to herself. She turned off the light and opened the door to find Gideon leaning ag
ainst the counter. Shit, he was shirtless, his pajama bottoms hung low on his hips, and he looked—damn. How the hell did he do that? One look and she went weak in the knees like some teenage girl with her first crush.
“Now, there is something very wrong with this picture,” he whispered.
“What, what’s wrong,” she asked as she looked down at herself.
She wore her usual long, cotton sleeveless gown. It was what she wore every night, did he not—her mind emptied as he reached forward and picked apart the tiny buttons. Just enough of them to push it off her shoulders and for it to pool around her feet.
“I’d keep you naked all the time if I could.”
She turned shy at the compliment and the heat in his gaze as he stared at her. She bit at her bottom lip as she noticed his dick pushed at the thin fabric of his sleep pants. She waited for her usual self-consciousness to take over, to force her to cover up and hide her body. With a jolt, she realized it wasn’t there.
She raised her hands and pushed him until he was braced against the counter. His eyes widened as she dropped to her knees, she nipped at the curve of his stomach, and didn’t take her gaze off him as she fisted her fingers in the waistband of his pants. She slowly pulled them off, and he stepped out of the legs.
Sitting back on her heels she looked at him, she visually devoured everything inch of him. He was big and solid, she remembered the weight of him and the tease of his body hair against her skin. The perfect roughness of his hands. His scent—she leaned forward and buried her face in his thick bush and inhaled.
He combed his fingers through her hair and held her close. His dick was hard beneath her chin, the tip wet against her throat. She didn’t know what to say, her thoughts too chaotic, but she could show him.
She retreated until his cock hovered in front of her mouth, pearls of pre-cum beaded at the slit and she opened her mouth, flicked her tongue out to taste. She moaned as she wrapped her lips around him and sucked him all the way in. The blunt, spongy head hit the back of her throat. She repressed the urge to gag. He grunted, and she whined, he jerked and pulsed against her tongue. He didn’t thrust or force her, he let her have control, and it made her need him more.
Her hands came up to cup the cheeks of his ass, the hair teased her palms and the pads of her fingers. She bobbed along his thickness.
He cursed and groaned, praised her as he massaged her scalp, guiding her but never attempting to control her. A sense of power she’d never felt before caused her to increase her suction, taking him deeper on every thrust. Without thinking about it, she brought her right hand to her mouth, slipped two fingers in beside his cock, and then removed them, reaching back. She massaged around the tight muscle of her hole. Felt the resistance and flex. She hadn’t finger fucked herself before, but with Gideon’s dick in her mouth, her ass felt empty.
They hadn’t gone beyond mutual masturbation, he didn’t ask for blowjobs and didn’t touch her hole. His restraint caused her to want to break him. Prove she could make him lose control. Her hand still on his ass stroked over his skin, her fingers dipped into his crease. She teased the wrinkled skin, and the salty, musk of his pre-cum grew stronger on her tongue. She withdrew until she strongly suckled the head, and flicked her tongue against the sensitive spot on the underside.
His upper body curved over hers and for a split second she froze, waited for his touch to replace hers. Then she was pushed away, she almost cried until she was forcibly lifted to her feet and spun. Her cheek met the bathroom door, and Gideon had his face buried between her ass cheeks. He ate her ass with rough nips, sucks, and prods of his tongue. His large hands kneaded and pulled until he opened her wider.
She clawed at the door. The wet, suckling sounds and grunts that vibrated against her made her sweat, her body flushed with an arousal she hadn’t ever felt. Her penis was firm and aching. There wasn’t a time in her past where she embraced her sexual needs. Masturbation for tension release and nothing else. Right then, she wanted sex, wanted fucking for fucking’s sake. To be selfish and orgasm, feel Gideon pounding away behind her. Feel the pinch and pressure as he used her—loved her.
Her eyes rolled back as she moved her arms behind her and shoved her fingers into Gideon’s soft hair. She arched her back and lifted onto her toes. She needed him closer. A guttural moan pushed passed her tight throat, and she yelped as a huge hand smack her ass, one cheek then the other.
She whimpered as he pulled away, she was about to tell him no, but he turned her around. The pleasure/pain of him drawing her into his mouth threatened to cause her knees to give out. She looked down at him, his swollen lips were wrapped around her, and he sucked, she ground against his mouth. Panic mixed with ecstasy, too much and not enough, she wanted more.
It wasn’t something she’d asked for in the past, and she didn’t know how to tell him.
Luckily, she didn’t have too, he surged to his feet and picked her up in the process. His mouth pushed to hers, and he carried her toward the bedroom. He laid her on the bed, and she twined her arms around his neck, his tongue thrusting into her mouth. Retreating to suck and bite at her lips. She chased his mouth, felt his smile and traced it with her tongue.
She held on as he leaned to the side, she heard a drawer open, but she couldn’t take her gaze off his flushed, sweaty face. He was so handsome, and he was all hers. She didn’t want whatever they had to end. He encouraged her. Made her feel beautiful and sexy, things she hadn’t thought in relation to herself.
She let out the most non-sexiest squeak of her life when Gideon flipped them and put her on top.
“What are you doing,” she asked.
“You’re in control.” He pressed a bottle of lube and a condom into her hands. “Want to watch you.”
She trembled and scooted down to straddle his thighs. His cock was thick and red, flushed and leaking. His thighs shook as she stroked him from base to tip, stroked her palm over the head, and back down. She opened the condom with shaking hands, almost dropping it. She finally removed it from the foil and rolled it slowly down his dick.
She gently lubed him, added more to her fingers, and brought her fingers to her hole. Two fingers easily slipped in, she shuddered and added more.
“Look at me,” he ordered.
She opened her eyes and met his, they were heavy-lidded, and his breathing was ragged. She couldn’t wait, she lifted onto her knees and moved up his body, she held him and held her breath. She anticipated pain, but it was nothing but pleasure as she lowered onto his cock. The pinch and burn perfection, her body shook so much, and she gripped his sides with her knees.
It was overwhelming, panic set in, and then Gideon was there. He embraced her, pulled her to him, and his mouth pressed to hers.
“Easy, baby, this is you and me. So fucking right.” He groaned, kissed her between whispered words.
“Gideon.”
“No matter what, you have the right to say no.”
She believed him. It was there in his touch, kisses, and in his words, he’d wouldn’t ever make her do anything. Even now, with him buried inside her, if she said no, he’d end it. She started to move, it was a slow, gentle rhythm. Their bodies coming together in perfect sync. They shared trembling kisses, held each other tight and when her movements faltered, he guided her with tender hands on her hips.
She grew lightheaded, she whined and moaned, begging him. The end was so close, all she needed was something more.
He braced his forearm against her ass and tugged her forward, she rubbed against the lower, hairy curve of his belly. She screamed as he suddenly lifted her from him and place her on her hands and knees. His big body blanketed hers, and she broke him, he took her in one powerful thrust. He rode her rough, he palmed her length and massaged the firmness of her flesh, stroked her in the circle of his thumb and index finger.
Skin slapped against skin, their sweaty bodies slid together, and his teeth nipped at her earlobe.
“Tell me what you want,” he grunted.<
br />
“You, please, I need—”
She arched, and the angle of his thrusts changed, the force of them increased. She barely locked her legs before she squeezed her thighs shut and rolled her hips, meeting him move for move. She came with a scream that ripped her throat raw. Gideon plastered himself to her back, and the pulse of his cock and his deep groans melded perfectly with hers. Blood rushed in her ears, and she collapsed to the bed taking Gideon with her.
Her eyes widened as she realized Gideon was talking, whispering to her he loved her. His touches and kisses were gentle as he soothed her. He loved—loud clapping come from outside. Cheering like you’d heard at some sport’s event.
“What the hell,” Gideon jerked open the curtain.
She lifted her head to find the whole Brawlers Crew including Tank, Elijah, and Scary outside, Twitch, Hunter, and Gregory held up signs scrawled with 10s. They were all smiling as they stared toward the window.
“Oh hell, they didn’t.”
Gideon closed the curtain, and she looked at him like he was crazy as he started laughing like a maniac.
“I think they’re louder than Psycho and Ben, damn, good one, Ghost,” Twitch squealed.
“Can we get new friends,” she asked.
“I don’t think that’s going to work, they’ll hunt us down.” He rolled to his back.
She smiled through her embarrassment when he pulled her across his chest.
“Say it again.”
“Say what?”
“You know, please.” She couldn’t bring herself to look at him.
He placed his huge hand on her cheek, his thumb pushed her chin up. “You never have to beg me to say it. I was going to wait until you were—”
“Say it, Gideon.”
“I love you.”
She didn’t wait for him to finish the words before she pressed her mouth to his, her own I love you muffled against his lips. She was happy, this was her life now. Gideon and the farm, being safe and confident. It couldn’t get much better than that.
