THE CREDITS
They say it takes a village to raise a child. In the case of this book, it took several villages. If this were my Academy Awards acceptance speech, I’d be played off the stage before I could name all the names of those who brought me to this moment and this book. “To fags, hags, drags, performance junkies, art, love and drug addicts alike. Children lost in a diseased society who found one another. Here’s to the misfits, the queers, the outcasts, the freaks, my family and friends.” I am eternally grateful to each and every one of you.
The Cast
The Grosso Family: Mom, Dad, sister Ginny, and brother Richie; my nieces and nephew, Danielle, Marco, Sophia; and all of my 50 first cousins; plus my extended family from Los Angeles to San Francisco, Chicago, New York, Hong Kong and beyond.
Editors
It took a lot to get the girl out of Jersey and the errors out of my manuscript. Fixing the typos and bad grammar of someone who tested at a third-grade reading level in college—due to untreated dyslexia—ain’t easy. And the credits go to:
Amy Friedman, draft two; Mark Thompson, draft three; Michael Kearns, drafts four and five; Laurie E. Horowitz, final draft; and Mark Mardon for flawless copyediting.
Photography
These two men are responsible for creating the Diva as you see her throughout the pages of My Life and contributing generously to our community at large with their brilliant works.
David Greene for the cover photo and more images throughout. DavidJGreene.com
Dan Nicoletta, for his generous photos and constant service through the decades. dannynicoletta.com.
Additional photos by Michael Zagaris and Christina Schlesinger, Judy Baca & Donna Deitch
Art Director
To Jennifer Lim of “in my house art department,” who really got my vision and designed the cover to my delight and the photo layouts within.
Audio Visual
Jean Franzblau for directing and editing the Indiegogo promo video that gave me a financial kickstart; and Betsy Zajko for her final-cut suggestions.
Teachers
To my daughter, Viva, who has been the greatest joy of ‘My Life’. And to my meditation master, Prem Rawat, from whom I learned the way to be in the world but not of the world.
Readers
To my friends with benefits who read early drafts and gave helpful notes along the way and more encouragement than a girl could ask for:
Carol Schlanger, Robert Croonquist, David Greene, Arni Chanin, Laurie Grosso, Doris Koenig, Lenore Marquez, Danny Nicoletta, Phil Pollizatto, Jonathan Cainer, Angela Rapkin, Dale Neili, Maxine Nunes, Honey Goldberg, Rob Saduski, John Fleck, Francesca Rosa, and Paula Verbit.
Coaches
Michael Kearns and his “Queer Wise” writers; Jenny Laper’s Venice writers’ group; Linda Lichtman and Annette Pasternak from Amy Friedman’s memoir class; Hillary Carlip for encouraging my Gay Widows stories; Wendy Hammers for “Tasty Words”; and Lauri Fraser for “Everybody Loves a Good Story.”
Caterers and Craft Service
For all the pasta I could ever eat, Richie Grosso of Giovannie’s Ristorante
Kindness of Strangers
The angels who generously contributed to support the publication of My Life
In Order of Appearance:
LEE MENTLEY
XANDRA COE
MARINA DAY
ED RAK
ROBERT CROONQUIST
RICKIE BYARS BECKWITH
MIRA CRISP
LAURIE GROSSO
KATHARINE KING
DIANA DAVIDOW
DEBRAH CONSTANCE
CRAIG BEALER
LAURA LAXINETA
MARILYN LAXINETA
ROB WEISS
DALE NIELI
DEBRA PADILLA
GINNY EAGAN
RICHARD GROSSO
MARCO MASTROGIOVANNI
CAROL SCHLANGER
JEFFERY SCHWARTZ
DAVID WEISSMAN
MARC HUESTIS
PIERRE VUILLEUMIER
JUDY BRANFMAN
MICHELLE CAMERON
LOTHAR DELGADO
KAREN LANDRY
CHRIS MULKEY
LENORE REQUEIRA
WILLY MARQUEZ
JIM BALB
BOB SCHOMUS
SUSAN & RICHARD TITONE
JEAN FRAZBLAU
JENNIIFER LIM
MICHAEL KEARNS
MARY ANN CHERRY
JOHN FLECK
JUSTIN V BOND
GREG TRAVIS
DANIEL CAINER
JONATHAN CAINER
MARIE GORMAN
MARK GUGLIELMO
MARIO DI DONATO
SHELIA DI MARCO
CANDIDA ROYALLE
BETSY ZAJKO
JUDITH AVERY
PETER MC CARTHY
LARRY LITSKY
ANTONIO DIAS
ROBIN MEISEL
TONYA REED
JUDY GRAHAM
EDWARD VILGA
FELICE WILLAT
JESSICA COPEN
AMY FRIEDMAN
KAREN NEIBERG
S. SCOTT MAYERS
DARIEN MOREA
MAXINE NUNES
GRACE WESTON
LOTTI P KNOWLES
MAUREEN COTTER
ANNE MARIE SCHEFFLER
DAVID MILLER
DAVID WHEATLEY
DOM AVITABILE
SHAWN BARRY
CHRISTINA SCHLESINGER
KERRIE KILPATRIC-WEINBERG
LENNY LANZI
JOSEPH A LEVY
JANE CANTILLON
EVELYN DAITCHMAN
RANDALL CAPORALE
ESMARELDA KENT
DAVID EPSTEIN
BRIAN FRANK
JAN O’CONNOR
DENISE CANDIES
NICOLAS MELE
TITA FARRAR
MAUREEN TEEFY
DEBRA TRENT
SANDY MARTIN
GLENNA DUMEY
ALEX MEXI
CLAY BRAVO
ANINA LINCOLN
LULU
RAYNI
JOSHUA CHEON
BURLINGTON WILLES
M. CHILTON
CLAUDIA MILLER
CARMEL FRANCE
HELENA STANABACK
BARRI ROUTH
LAURIE PROVOST
E BIANCHI
TIMOTHY CRAWFORD
JEFFERY GLENN
CHRISTOPHER BOHN
JIMO 13
FUCHSIMWALDE
About the author
Dolores De Luce has been a performer since 1970. She was mentored by the legendary Divine and the infamous gender-bending Cockettes. She has performed and written for many musical comedies and was nominated for ‘Best Performer’ by Bay Area Credits Association for Broken Dishes, a musical she co-wrote with Amber Waves.
Dolores’ autobiographical screenplay, Grace Happens, based on this memoir was semi finalist at the Austin Screenwriting Competition. The Shirt, a story from Gay Widow, a collection of AIDS survivor stories was published in Witness, an A.P.L.A. magazine
Currently Dolores lives in Venice Beach and continues to write and act in TV commercials and film, while promoting her daughter Viva's singing career. She can be seen about town reading her stories with Queer Wise, an LGBTI senior writer’s collective, and story-telling at The Moth, Tasty Words, Everybody Loves a Good Story, and other spoken word venues around Los Angeles. Contact www.counterculturediva.com
Photos by:
Dan Nicoletta is a San Francisco based freelance photographer who began his work in 1975 as an intern to Crawford Barton, staff photographer for Advocate Magazine. He worked in Harvey Milk's camera store in the heart of the burgeoning lesbian gay bisexual transgender mecca in the Castro district and was also involved in Milk's victorious election to public office as one of the first openly gay elected officials in the world. Contact www.dannynicoletta.com
David Greene’s collection of photographs call
ed Shameless was exhibited in galleries in Berkeley, San Francisco, Chicago, New York, and Zurich. He also created photos for Gay Sunshine book, Men Loving Men, two of which are in the permanent collection of the Chicago Museum of Contemporary Art. David Greene’s creative life has moved from film to photography to writing and his work includes two novels, Unmentionables, 2010) and Detonate, (2012). Contact www.DavidJGreene.com
Cover Design:
Jennifer Lim currently resides, works, surfs and plays in Venice Beach, California. Contact jenniferjadelim.com
Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION
A FALL Preview
ACT I
1. PAIN
2. LOUD
3. DIET
4. BOYS
5. JOBS
6. LUST
7. DATE RAPE
8. FREE BIRD
9. TUNE in TURN on DROP out!
10. SURF, SAND & SINS
11. HIGH RISK
12. RACE RIOT
13. KILL BILL
14. BABY LOVE
15. COLD CATS
16. NAME GAME
17. BACK HOME
18. ROCK N’ ROLL A GO-GO
19. LEWD NUDE
20. DRUG CURE
ACT II
21. BORN DIVA
22. DIVI
23. STAR NAME
24. SHOW HOME
25. FREE DISH
26. BOOM BOOM
27. DILD-0-DAZE
28. MOM-E-QUEE-REST
29. SISTER HAGS
30. WHAT To WEAR
31. I LOVE FAGS
32. JOHN
33. LENDON
34. WOPS
35. EAST Meets WEST
36. FEEL Me HEAL Me
37. JAIL BIRD
38. FREE FALL
39. PUNK CLUB
40. BORN STAR
ACT III
41. ROAM Built in a Day
42. MORE DICK
43. GURU
44. LAST ACTS
45. TIME LESS
46. TIED ENDS
47. MORE LOSS
EPILOGUE
IN MEMORIAM
THE CREDITS
Kindness of Strangers
About the author
My Life, a Four Letter Word Page 20
