by Bella Jewel
Kendric’s eyes flash with something new. Appreciation. Respect. Admiration. I’ve never seen him look at me the way he is now. The hatred he has felt toward me in the last few months has gone, in its place is a man who is finally starting to see that I’m not the enemy here.
I’m only trying to help.
“You think anything is broken? We can say you were mugged, somethin’ like that, if you want to go to the hospital.”
I move, and pain shoots through my body.
I do need the hospital. I’m not stupid enough to think I don’t.
“I’m in a lot of pain, I need the hospital,” I whisper, body throbbing from just a small movement.
“Then I’m takin’ you as soon as Alarick gets here. You give us as much information as you can, we’ll take it from there.”
I swallow, nervous.
I’m not going to stop being nervous until I have my son back. Safe.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
Kendric looks to me. “We don’t let our own down.”
Their own.
My heart swells and I make a sobbing sound, which causes me to cry out in pain. Kendric shifts me slightly, murmuring, “Stay still, woman. You’re goin’ to hurt yourself more.”
My heart feels so incredibly full right now.
“Where is she?”
Briella’s voice booms through my house, but I can’t turn to see her. It doesn’t take long and she’s in front of me, shoving Kendric out of the way and dropping to her knees, reaching for my hand. “Oh, honey, what happened? Are you okay?”
“I’m just sore, I’ll be okay,” I tell her, voice shaky from the pain.
“She’s got broken ribs, no doubt, probably some bleeding. We need to get her to the hospital,” Kendric orders. “Goin’ to need you to let me get her, Briella.”
Briella looks to him, then back to me. She hesitates, but she steps back and lets Kendric reach for me. Alarick, Cohen, and Samson appear in my line of sight and Alarick takes one look at me and his face hardens. “You tell me where he is.”
I do just that. I tell him where Reece is, I tell them I want my son safe, and then I let them do their bit.
I have to.
I just don’t have it in me to fight anymore.
I’m done.
“YOU’RE IN BAD WAY, are you sure you didn’t see who attacked you?” the doctor asks after I’ve been admitted to the hospital because of my injuries. I’ve got a few broken ribs and some internal bleeding that should go away on its own, but they want to monitor me to make sure.
I lied.
I told them I was walking home and got attacked.
I think they know I’m lying; hell, I think they know when most people are lying. It’s their job really, isn’t it?
“I didn’t. I know it was a man, I can give a brief description but I couldn’t see his face because he had it covered.”
“The police will take all of that, as I’m sure you know being an officer. I’m sorry you were put through that. We’ll keep you at least overnight to make sure you’re not going to have any complications, and I’ll send you home with some good painkillers. You’ll be sore. You won’t be able to do any active duty for at least six weeks.”
Thank god I’m working with Blanche now because we’re not out on the streets where I need my body to be working correctly.
“Okay, I understand. Thank you.”
“You have a visitor outside; I’ll send him in as soon as I’m done here. I’ve given you a sleep tablet for the night to help you get through the pain and get some rest.”
I nod, and when he leaves, I pick up my phone before my visitor comes in to call Blanche. I don’t want him thinking that I’ve given up on the case because I didn’t show up to work today. I’m already frustrated that I have to take time off, considering he picked me because he thought I was worth giving the extra effort to.
“Zariah, how are you? Carson told me what happened. Are you okay?”
He’s being nice already, and I immediately sigh with relief.
“I’m okay, sore but okay. I’ll be in the hospital for a few days, but I’ll be right back to work. I don’t want you thinking I’m slacking on the case.”
He laughs. “Work, work, work, it’s totally fine. In fact, I’m happy to come with you in there to do some work if you like. Only if you’re feeling up to it, of course?”
“Yes, please, that would be great!” I say quickly, my voice full of excitement.
If I have to sit in here, at least I’m going to do it working on the case. I want nothing more than to work on it right now.
He laughs again. “Well, that didn’t take much convincing, did it? I’ll pop by in the morning and we can go over what I’ve uncovered.”
“Thank you so much.”
We talk for a few minutes more but I hang up when a knock at my door sounds out. I yell out and, a moment later, Kendric walks in. He’s got a bag of something that smells incredible in his hands, and after a quick glance around the room, he comes in and sits by the bed, placing the items on my food tray. “Didn’t know if you were hungry, but I got you a burrito. Waverly told me you like ‘em, she also told me to tell you that if you don’t answer your phone in the morning she’s getting on a plane and coming home.”
I shake my head, smiling. “Of course she is. I’ll text her later, tell her I’m okay.”
“Are you?” he asks.
I narrow my eyes, confused.
“Okay?”
“Oh,” I say softly. “Yeah, I’m okay.”
“And the boy?”
“He’s okay, Reece has been calling me over and over. That’s what he does. He lives with guilt. I spoke to Jayden earlier, he seems happy. He’s safe there until we can get him back.”
“Don’t let that fucker get into your head. Don’t let him convince you that you shouldn’t be doin’ this. He’s a dangerous man, and next time you won’t be so lucky.”
I swallow, and glance down at my hands. “But, Jayden ...”
“You think the boy needs a man like that in his life? How long do you think it’s goin’ to be before he sees his father behavin’ like that and thinks it’s okay. You tell me that?”
I feel like a fist slams into my chest at his words. They hurt, they’re a brutal truth I don’t want to face.
“That’s his father. He loves him. Adores him. I can’t just take that away from him. Reece loves his son, he does ...”
“If he fuckin’ loved his son, he wouldn’t hurt his mother. You’re makin’ excuses out of guilt, guilt that your boy will miss out if you take him away, but you gotta know that man will turn on your boy one day. He’ll get angry and he’ll snap. You really willin’ to bet everythin’ that he’ll never do that?”
I look away, tears burning under my eyelids.
“What about when he meets another woman and he beats her in front of him. That boy is only gettin’ bigger, he ain’t gettin’ smaller. He’s oblivious to it now, but he won’t be forever. You look me in the eye and tell me you’re okay with that, and I’ll let it be.”
I clench my eyes shut, and a moment later Kendric’s hand finds my jaw and he turns my face toward his. I open my eyes and his are locked on mine, his face serious. “Answer me, Zariah.”
“No, no I’m not okay with that. I’m not, but ...”
“But you’re scared of that fucker. You’re scared of hurtin’ him because you’ve got some twisted little attachment to him. I get that. Seen it, believe it. You can get past it.”
He’s reading me like an open damned book.
“You think I’m pathetic ...” I whisper.
“No,” he growls, squeezing my jaw slightly. Not hard, just enough to get his point across. “No, I think you’re fuckin’ broken by a man who was meant to love you. I’ve seen what you can do, Zariah. You’re a bad ass and you’re a cop. You could have fought back at any point, but you didn’t, you didn’t because you convince yourself that you’re not like him, that he’ll cha
nge, that you love him. He had you exactly where he wanted you.”
I jerk my head out of his grips. “You’ve made your point.”
“You’re just not gettin’ the point I’m makin’.”
“I am, you think I’m fucking broken and all twisted up. Like a piece of wire tangled around itself, so badly that even if I untangle, I’ll never be the same again. You think I can’t get past this. I’m just a fucked up little human, because of the actions of one man.”
“You’re sayin’ that, not me.”
I look at him. “You saw just how deep this goes. You saw it the other night.”
He grunts, crossing his arms. “Because you liked watchin’ me fuck someone? You think because that turned you on, that you’re fuckin’ broken? You think that makes you different? I’m here to tell you it don’t, there is nothin’ wrong with what happened, you’re just so fuckin’ uptight you won’t let that part of yourself out. Underneath it all, Zariah, there’s a fuckin’ caged animal, and one day you’ll let it loose.”
I swallow, my breathing deep and yet shallow all at the same time. “Does it scare you?”
His eyes flash and he leans forward. “Fuck no.”
“What if I told you that I liked it, that I liked when he’d hurt me and then fuck me, because it made my body feel things I couldn’t feel unless it was like that. What if I told you maybe, just maybe, I let him do it because part of me needed it.”
He takes my jaw in his hand again and gets closer. “I’d say that you’re bein’ the most truthful with yourself right now then you’ve ever been, and you need to do that a whole lot fuckin’ more if you want to get past this man.”
He’s not shocked.
Not confused.
Not disgusted.
I just told him something I have utterly refused to admit to myself. I’ve had it deep down, locked away in those cages he speaks of, never wanting to let it up because the fear of what it would mean scares the life out of me. I’ve not once allowed myself to admit that sometimes, after Reece hurt me, he would fuck me, and it would feel so good I’d come to crave it. I’d come to need it in the most sick and twisted way I could ever imagine.
“Pain turns me on,” I whisper, low. “I’m turned on by a twisted situation. Things that aren’t normal. You can’t tell me that I’m not fucked up.”
“You’re human. We all have shit that others wouldn’t understand, believe me.”
He’s wrong. He’s so wrong. He wouldn’t understand. If I told him my deepest, darkest desires he wouldn’t understand.
“Trust me, you wouldn’t get it.”
“Try me, Zariah. Tell me what you’re thinkin’ right now, no matter what it is. See what happens.”
I look him dead in the eye.
“I want you to put your hands in my pants and rub me until I am writhing in pleasure and pain, but not touch a single other part of my body. I don’t want you to touch me. I just want you to bring me pleasure. Pure pleasure. The pain my body will give me, makes it feel even better. What do you say about that, Kendric?” I say in a low tone.
His eyes flash. “I’d say that’s fuckin’ nothin’. You can go so much fuckin’ deeper than that and you wouldn’t scare me.”
I swallow and our eyes don’t part as he steps toward me. “Is that what you want me to do to you right now?”
“You hate me. That only makes me want it more.”
He bares his teeth in a feral kind of way that makes my heart race and my legs clench. I want him but only because I know he doesn’t want me. He wants to fuck me, sure, but he can’t stand me. Deep down he hates everything I allowed to happen to him, he wants me to suffer, and he’s made it very clear how he feels. That only makes this more thrilling. Knowing that makes my body hum with a twisted kind of pleasure.
“Don’t make a sound,” he growls stepping up to my bed and slipping his hand between the sheets. He finds my pussy beneath the hospital gown, bare and aching, and immediately he locates my clit and starts rubbing. He rubs slow, sensual, with the kind of precision most men could never figure out let alone do without seeing anything.
I clench my teeth together and I don’t dare tear my eyes off his as he continues to rub, making my body tense, which in turn brings me incredible pain. That pain immediately sparks my need and I whimper. He pauses his hand. “I said don’t fuckin’ make a sound.”
I make a pained sound in my throat, and then I shut it off, writhing to get his hand to move again, to get his fingers to bring back the utter bliss they were just causing. “Please,” I beg.
“Don’t fuckin’ beg. Just take what I’m givin’ you.”
His words turn me on. The harsh tone of them makes me explode with pleasure, my whole body heating, my legs twitching, my back arching, pain erupting in every part of me. He rubs slowly, torturing me, and then I find my blissful release, biting down on my tongue so I don’t cry out. My entire body shudders. It is the most incredibly painful thing I’ve ever experienced, and I love every second of it.
The door opens and the doctor steps in. Kendric steps back, slipping his hand from the sheet like he was doing nothing but giving me a hug. He moves away from the bed and my cheeks burn in shame as the doctor walks over. I’m panting and flushed, and I’m damned certain he knows exactly what just happened. Kendric steps back, and in a low voice murmurs he’ll see me tomorrow.
When he reaches the door, our eyes lock and he slides his fingers into his mouth, sucking me off him.
My heart races and my body yearns for more as he turns and disappears out of the room.
My god.
I’ve found him.
I’ve finally found him.
A man as twisted as I am.
The only problem is ... he hates me.
12
ZARIAH
“I don’t think she’s too far from here. If I’m honest, I’d say she is within a ten-mile radius. Someone knows where she is. I’m working on getting a few search warrants. The more we can look, the closer we can get to finding her,” Steven tells me, sitting by my bed drinking a coffee.
We’ve been working all morning, and it has been a nice distraction from everything that’s going on. I’ve been thinking about Jayden constantly and have been only answering Reece’s calls to talk to him. I am trying to keep things as normal and as calm as possible so that I’m able to get my son back without causing too many problems. So far, Reece believes I’ve recovered from his attack like every other time.
I’m letting him believe that until I have my son.
Only then will I change that on him.
“Is there a possibility she doesn’t want to be found?” I say to Steven, sipping my own coffee. “Could she have made herself disappear?”
Steven nods, meeting my gaze. “It’s possible. Incredibly hard, but possible. Some people want to disappear and they don’t want to be found. There’s a solid chance that is the case, from what we’ve gathered so far, her home life wasn’t great ...”
Surely this hasn’t got something to do with Dax.
I frown.
“You don’t think she’s come across foul play, such as human traffickers?” I dare to ask.
Steven shrugs, as if the idea is not even slightly shocking to him. “Again, it’s possible. Girls like her are an easy target. They disappear quickly and they don’t put up a fight. There’s always a chance that has happened.”
“How would you know? I mean, how would you even go about looking for something like that?”
He might be able to give me some information, something to indicate that he knows where to find those kinds of people. In turn, I may be able to find Dax. That would be worth everything and more. If he could give me some idea, without realizing it, on where to start I might just be able to get somewhere on this case. Kendric is running out of time and, so far, all Alarick believes is that Blanche has something to do with it.
I still can’t see it.
I still don’t believe he has something to do with thi
s.
He just doesn’t seem like the kind of person to risk it all for that.
He’s been so good so far, so helpful, so nice, and he’s so smart.
No, I refuse to believe it.
“That would depend on how much evidence you had,” he answers my question, and I focus back on him instead of letting my mind run wild.
“Say you had an idea of who was doing it, but you didn’t know how to locate them? Where would you even begin? I’m sure there are known traffickers, but they’re well hidden.”
“With a name, you can find anyone. Really, you can. It’s just about looking in the right places. You don’t go to the bad guys, Zariah, you go to the good guys.”
I narrow my eyes. “You mean like friends?”
“Better,” he goes on, staring at his laptop as he types something. “Family.”
Family.
Why the hell haven’t we looked into Dax’s family? With his name, and a good bit of digging, we’d be able to find someone in his family that would possibly know where he is.
God dammit.
Yes.
“What if they have no family?” I dare to ask.
“Everyone has someone, that’s just the truth. Everyone has someone that even if they changed their name and disappeared, they’d make contact. Doesn’t matter how bad they are, there is someone they’d give it all up for. A mother, a father, a sister, a friend, a lover ... Someone.”
“Is that what you’re looking for in this case, her someone?”
He nods. “Exactly. You find that person, you find your person.”
My heart pounds against my ribcage as I fight the urge to grab my phone and tell Alarick the almost obvious thing that has just been pointed out to me. We’ve been looking into the bad people, the people who know Dax or Peter, who are involved with them, who work for them, but we haven’t looked on the other side of things. Dax has to have someone out there that he cares about, or someone who would know where to find him.
We just have to find that person.
It seems scarily obvious now.
Steven and I finish up with our work and when he’s gone, I pick up the phone and dial Alarick.
