by Bella Jewel
That’s really something else.
The moment I have that thought, guilt smashes me because I let him down, I let him down in ways I shouldn’t have. I’m a cop and I let people abuse him. It was against the law and it wasn’t right. I might not have been able to help him them, but I can help him now.
“I’m going to tell my supervisor what happened to you that night. I’m going to tell them you were abused and kicked. I should have protected you and I didn’t. I’ll do everything in my power to make that right, including standing up for you where you need it.”
He stares at me, his face slightly shocked, slightly hard. “No.”
His word is simple and yet it feels like a blow to my chest. “Kendric ...”
“No, Zariah. You ain’t goin’ to anyone because it’ll make no difference. You think they’re goin’ to listen to you defendin’ a biker they’re certain is a criminal? Of course they’re fuckin’ not and you know it. You’ll only make the case harder. No, what you’re goin’ to do is say nothin’, find Dax, and get me the fuck outta prison because that’s where I’ll end up.”
He’s right.
I know he’s right.
I hate it but I can’t do anything about it.
“I’m sorry, for whatever it’s worth. I am sorry for what happened that night.”
He nods. “I should go.”
He walks toward the door, and my body suddenly fills with a terrible urge to make him stop. Everything inside of me is screaming that I don’t want him to go. I want him to stay. I don’t know why, I don’t even understand it myself, but I don’t want him to walk out that door.
“Please don’t go.”
My voice is strained and a little weak, but the words are clear. My intentions are clear.
I need him here.
I need him with me.
He pauses, hand outstretched for the door handle. He turns and looks back at me, narrowing his eyes. “What did you say?”
I take a step forward. “I said don’t go. Please, don’t go.”
He hesitates, and then murmurs in a low, husky voice. “Why?”
“I don’t ... I don’t know.”
“Wrong.”
He grabs the door handle.
“I want you,” I cry out, throwing my hands up even though it causes me incredible pain to do so. “I want you, Kendric. I don’t know why, I can’t make sense of it, but I do. I want you more than you could possibly understand. So please, I’m begging you, don’t leave me here alone.”
He lets his hand fall from the doorhandle, then he turns and when our eyes lock, I know ...
He’s not going anywhere.
“GET YOUR HANDCUFFS.”
Kendric’s voice comes out firm, even before he’s reached me.
I shake my head, confused. “What?”
“Your handcuffs, go and fuckin’ find them and bring them to me. You want me here, you want me to fuck you, then we do it in a way we’re both goin’ to like.”
I hesitate, not because I don’t love the sound of that, because I do ... but because I’m always looking for broken, damaged sex. Dangerous, even. I wonder, what would it be like just to have normal sex? Would it feel any good? From previous experience, it hasn’t, but maybe that’s changed now. Kendric is gorgeous, and rugged, and more than manly. I’m sure that alone would be enough.
“I ... I don’t want to be like that,” I say, my voice wavering.
“Wrong again,” he growls. “You do want to be like that, you’re just ashamed of it when you shouldn’t be. Now, do as I fuckin’ ask, Zariah, and go and get your handcuffs.”
I move, even before my mind fully processes what’s happening. I walk to my belt, get my handcuffs off it, and walk back toward him, slowly stretching out my arm so he can take them from me. He does, and when he does, my whole body immediately comes alive with anticipation. My skin tingles, my stomach flips, my knees get weak, and my core tightens. I bite my bottom lip and glance at him, not sure what to do next.
I’ll let him take the lead.
“You’re not goin’ to get any control over this. You won’t be touchin’ me.”
“Wait,” I say, confused, “what?”
“You trust me?”
I nod.
“Then go and stand by that stairwell, put your hands behind your back, and wait for me.”
I glance at the stairwell that leads up to my spare room and bathroom upstairs. It’s timber and has large wooden posts that would be perfect for cuffing me to. Not something I ever would have imagined, but still, I’m not complaining. I walk over, body thrumming, and turn, pressing my back to the pole and placing my hands around behind it. Kendric walks over with purpose, his body powerful, his eyes intense. He reaches me and his hands go around behind me and cuff me to the pole.
For a moment, I feel panicked. Purely because my control is suddenly stripped away from me, and not having control is something I’ve struggled with for years. I look to Kendric and he must see the fear in my eyes, because he takes my jaw in his hands and rasps, “Do you trust me or not, Zariah?”
I nod. “I do.”
“Then you know I will not do any fuckin’ thing you don’t want. Do you understand me?”
I nod.
“Say it,” he growls.
“I understand you.”
“Good. Now I’m goin’ to take your clothes off and do things to you that you could only imagine in your wildest dreams. Then I’m goin’ to fuck you, soft at first, then fuckin’ hard, so hard this staircase will rattle. I know you want pain—I’ll give you pain. Just enough to get you where you need to be, then I’ll stop. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” I whisper, my body already trembling at the very thought.
“Good. Now you don’t fuckin’ say another word until I give you permission. Are we clear?”
“Yes.”
“Yes?”
“Yes, Kendric.”
“Good girl.”
He steps forward and with slow movements that make my entire body simply burn with anticipation, he slowly removes my clothes. He lifts my shirt up and over my head and tucks it behind my neck so it’s still on but I’m exposed. I also feel like I’m bound a little tighter, which I like. God, no, I love.
He unclips my bra and moves up around behind me, before stepping in front of me again and staring at my breasts. He lets his gaze rake over them, slowly, and I squirm out of sheer need. “You’re fuckin’ beautiful, do you know that?”
“Yes.”
“Yes what?”
“Yes, Kendric.”
He leans down and closes his mouth around my nipple. I arch and clamp my mouth shut as desperate words of pleasure threaten to come out. I squirm and my pussy aches as Kendric sucks on my nipple, slowly twirling his tongue around the hard nub before closing his teeth over it and giving it a sharp nip that has me yelping, and then moaning in pleasure as incredible sensations rip through my body.
He moves to the other one, trailing soft kisses across my skin. The rugged, sharp feeling of his stubble scrapes across my skin and brings my body up even higher, to the point where I’m not sure I ever want to come down. He finds my other nipple and closes his lips around it, sucking hard, until pain rips through my breast in the most incredible way. “Kendric,” I rasp, arching toward him.
He bites down so hard I cry out.
He lifts his head up and meets my gaze. “Do not speak, Zariah.”
I’m panting now as our eyes lock and, after a moment, he moves back to torturing my nipples in the most exquisite way.
God help me.
This is heaven on earth.
I need more of it.
He moves down my body until he reaches my pants. Slowly, oh so slowly, he drags them down my legs until I’ve stepped out of them and am completely bare before him. My skin prickles and my eyes are unwavering as I take him in. Huge man, on his knees, looking so god damned good it makes my heart flutter. He looks up at me, and with a feral grin he takes my leg, l
ifting it over his shoulder.
Then he’s eating me.
He shoves his face into my pussy, his tongue lashing out to torment my clit. He swirls and bites and sucks and licks until I’m moaning in pleasure, unable to stop it. I tug on my cuffs, arching my back. Pain shoots through my damaged and sore body, but it only enhances my pleasure. Before I can hold it back, hell, before I even know what’s happening, an intense feeling rips through my body and then releases with a gush of liquid.
I cry out, he growls, making a vicious sound, and the orgasm I have is the most incredible thing I’ve ever felt in my life. As spurt after spurt of liquid is released from my pussy. I find it hard to think, or move, or do anything but whimper and tremble. I’ve never had a man eat me the way he just did, it was absolutely out of this world. The most talented tongue to ever come close to my body.
Kendric pulls back and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. He’s got my release all over him, but the look in his eyes, the feral look, tells me he doesn’t mind. Not at all.
“You a squirter?” he rasps, his voice thick.
“I am now,” I whimper, my voice breathy.
“Never had a woman squirt, that was fuckin’ incredible. Let’s see if I can make you do it again.”
Oh god.
He stands up and with one quick motion, his pants are down. He takes hold of his thick, hard cock and starts stroking it. It’s already swollen and red and clearly ready for its own release. His jaw is tight as he drops his head back, his strokes getting faster and faster. I tug on my restraints. I want nothing more than to touch him right now, to run my hands all over his incredible body, to bite his flesh, to stroke his cock and put it in my mouth.
God, I want him so bad I can’t think straight.
“Let me touch you,” I plead. “Please, Kendric. Let me put my hands on you.”
“No,” he growls. “No, you watch.”
I squirm and pull watching him jerk and jerk, making his cock even redder. His face is full of lust and pleasure and it’s the most god damned perfect thing I’ve ever witnessed. Then, without warning, he releases his cock, pulls a condom from his jeans and puts it on, then steps forward. He takes my hips in his big hands and lifts me until my legs are wrapped around his waist. Then, he leans in close, so close I think he’s going to kiss me but he doesn’t.
He just holds my eyes.
Letting me smell him.
Letting me imagine just how good it would feel to kiss him.
Letting me wonder what he tastes like.
“Let me kiss you,” I whisper.
“No.”
Then he plunges his cock inside of me. At first, it burns and stretches, making me cry out in shock. He doesn’t pause, he slowly drags it out and pushes it back in again. His growl echoing through the room. Such a feral, gorgeous man. He picks up the pace a little, but not quite enough that he’s fucking me hard. He’s just teasing me, tormenting me, making my body ache in ways it has never ached before.
“Please, harder, faster,” I beg.
He takes his time picking up the pace. He never moves his face close enough for me to kiss him, but he doesn’t take his eyes off mine. He stares at me the entire time he’s fucking me, and it’s out of this world incredible. As his pace quickens and my body slams into the railing, I feel the pain rising in my body. Mixed with the pleasure I’m already feeling, I know I’m going to have an orgasm equal to the one I just experienced.
“Kendric,” I gasp. “Oh, god.”
He reaches up and puts his hand around my throat. “Do not fuckin’ speak.”
I gasp and the feeling of him holding pressure on my throat sends me over the edge. I orgasm so hard I feel liquid running down my thighs. Kendric snarls with satisfaction and his fingers tighten just slightly around my throat as he fucks me so hard I nearly black out from pain and pleasure. When he orgasms, he does so with a rugged growl that sends pure excitement up my spine.
For a few minutes, we just sit there, both of us panting, both of us pulsing. He releases my throat and carefully pulls away from me, placing my feet on the ground. He takes the key off the table and unlocks my cuffs, and then he fixes up his jeans and his eyes lock onto me, standing there, wet and naked, still panting, cheeks burning, wondering what else this man has up his sleeve for me to try out.
“You in pain?” he asks, his voice still so incredibly husky from sex.
“Yes,” I whisper.
I am in pain.
So much pain.
My ribs are screaming at me, and my back kills, but I’ve never felt so exhilarated in my life. To have sex the way I crave, in a healthier way, is something I never thought I could experience. I hated that I loved when Reece fucked me after he hurt me, I hated how that made me feel about myself, but this ... this is different. This makes me feel like maybe I’ve met someone that understands and accepts who I am and is showing me I can have it my way without guilt.
Kendric is changing everything for me.
It scares the life out of me, but it excites me even more.
One thing is for sure ...
Something has been started here, I’m just not sure what that something is.
15
ZARIAH
“How are you, Cova?” I ask.
I decided to visit Cova after Briella told me that she had informed her that Colton had asked after her. It took a lot of convincing, but she did the right thing, and I’m glad she did. Cova deserves us to be on her side, and to trust her choices. It’s the only way she’ll come out of this.
“I’m good, actually,” she tells me, her voice lighter than I’ve ever heard it. She is always down, but today she looks like a different person. Someone I’m sure she was before Dax ruined her life. “I think I have a job.”
“Seriously?” I ask, eyes wide. “That’s incredible! Where?”
“Karen knows the owners of a café in town, they’re looking for wait staff so I applied and they called me back for a trial tonight. I don’t know how I’ll go, but I’m ready to start getting my life back on track.”
That’s something I haven’t heard come from her mouth yet. She has, thus far, hated everyone and everything that took her away from the life she thought she loved. The man she thought she loved. What has changed? Could it be Colton? Does he mean something to her?
“That’s amazing, I’m so happy for you.”
She nods, rubbing her arms. “Yeah, my therapist recommended I try to get a job and start figuring out what I want to do with myself. I’ve never ...”
She trails off and looks down at the floor.
“You’ve never had that option,” I finish for her.
“No, I haven’t.”
She looks back up at me, and I offer a reassuring smile. “Well, I think it’s amazing and you’re strong for taking steps forward.”
“It’s hard,” she admits, sitting on the edge of the sofa. “I am struggling to get along with Briella. I just hold so much resentment toward her for upending my life. I’m working through it, I am, but it’s hard all the same.”
“Give it time. Time is the only thing that fixes these things. You’re making huge progress, that’s all that matters right now.”
“Yeah, you’re right.”
I’m a little suspicious, I won’t lie. Her dramatic change of attitude does scare me just a touch. Mostly because I have to wonder if there is another reason she’s suddenly perked up. Like maybe she’s planning on tricking everyone into thinking she’s fine so she can do a runner, or she’s saving money so she can go back to her old life. She struggled hugely with being taken away from Bryant, the man who bought her. I just don’t see her getting over that so quickly.
I could be wrong, too.
Perhaps finding out about Colton has helped her realize that everyone is on her side.
Maybe that’s all it is.
“I heard you spoke to Briella about Colton ...” I say, letting my voice trail off.
I don’t want to push her if s
he doesn’t want to talk.
I just want her to know that I’m here if she does want to.
She gives me a sceptical look, her eyes narrowing slightly. Behind her gaze, I can see her hesitation. I’m certain now that she’s not doing as well as she’s making out. I see the dullness and the doubt. I know she’s not over what happened, and I know she’s not okay with Briella. This is a ticking time bomb, and I feel bad that she’s living through what she is, because it must be confusing as hell.
I make a note to spend more time with her.
She needs someone she can trust.
“Yeah,” she finally says. “He’s an old ... I don’t know ... person I was involved with. It’s really complicated. I’m not interested in going to see him.”
Her shoulders tighten and, by the time she’s finished her sentence, I can see just speaking about him is bringing some sort of weird reaction to her body. There is certainly more to the story, coming from someone who has lived through those tiny reactions—I know now what they mean. I also know it’s not my place to ask her, or push her, or do anything but listen.
“That’s your call.” I shrug, trying to brush it off.
She tips her head to the side. “She told me it was you that made her tell me. Why is that?”
I exhale and give her a small smile. “Because I’ve lived without choices, and I thought you deserved the right to make the choice about Colton yourself, not to have someone decide for you. You’ve already had enough go on, the very least you can be given back is your choice.”
She looks shocked by this, and it seems to take her a moment to snap out of it. “You really believe that?”
“Yes,” I say, my voice unwavering. “Yes, I do.”
“Because you have lived through it.”
I nod. “Yes.”
“Thank you,” she tells me, looking away quickly. “For having my back. It hasn’t been easy ... everything since they took me from—” she pauses, and I can see her visibly gather herself “—Bryant. It has been really hard. I didn’t know what was coming and now I’ve been thrust into a world I didn’t anticipate. I’m clean now, so I can see more clearly, but I also struggle daily not to go back down that road. To drugs. To toxic people. I’m grateful to have a choice.”
