‘But he left her!’
‘I know. Doesn’t mean he didn’t—that he doesn’t—care.’
Guess I’d only heard Kensa’s side of the story.
‘So, you headed home.’
He nodded. ‘Exercise helps me release the anguish, now.’
‘Like when you were running around screaming on the golf course?’
‘Yep.’
‘Singing does it for me,’ I said. ‘Helps me empty my mind.’
We looked at each other. No words necessary. We kind of had common ground.
He stood up and pulled me to my feet. ‘Fancy a paddle?’
I smiled. ‘No. Not quite yet. There’s something else I need first.’
‘Me too.’ He stepped forward and held my shoulders. Lips on mine. Volcanic heat erupting.
‘Oh, Tremain,’ I whispered, as I pulled away for breath, my hand running over his short hair, his fingers trailing a line down my back. We fell to the ground and I pressed up close, heat emanating from him. As we kissed, I experienced a sense of release—the shedding of past romance. Now nothing mattered but Tremain. Making him better. Feeling that hot mouth on my skin. Listening to his reliable heartbeat.
‘What about the scar?’ I said as, hand in hand, we eventually ambled towards the beach. ‘I saw it when you were gardening at Guvnah’s. Did you get it in Afghanistan?’
‘You’d think so, wouldn’t you? Nah, someone mugged me when I was fifteen. That’s one reason I wanted to go into the army—to learn how to protect myself. You say Ben knew the dangers of signing up, but we were just kids. I, for one, didn’t think about the consequences of everything I was going to have to see and do.’
We reached the waves. Slipped off our shoes and socks. Cool water trickled over our toes. He kicked some up at me.
‘Don’t push me too far,’ I said, in a teasing voice. ‘You may be army material but never challenge the deviousness of a woman and—Ow!’ I pulled a face and hopped up and down. ‘I think something just bit my foot, can you take a look?’
Concern crossed his face and he bent down. I giggled and pushed him over.
‘That was a mistake,’ he said, finding his balance, trousers and top dripping. Solemnly, he shook a finger. I started to run.
‘Of course he caught me,’ I whispered to Johnny as, that night, I sat in my bedroom, looking at the red wind spinner. I’d pulled my suitcase out from under my bed. I held the scarlet metal and ran a finger over the curves. ‘It was good to see him laugh. You’d like him, Johnny.’ Tears filled my eyes. ‘I loved you so much. You were the best. And … I just wanted to check you knew that I’m no longer angry. I had no right to be. If you hadn’t cared and just run over that cat, you wouldn’t be the Johnny I knew. Plus … I’m sorry I sent you out for that curry.’ I sniffed. ‘But you know me after a glass of Pinot Grigio.’ I gazed at the heart-shaped strips of metal. ‘You’ll probably be relieved to hear that I won’t bother you with my crazy messages any more. All these last months, I had so much to say—advice to seek, problems, stories and jokes to share—but you see really …’ My chest squeezed. ‘I guess it was what you’d call a long goodbye.’ My throat ached. ‘’Cos we never got the chance to do that, did we? Say our farewells? So that’s what this is. I wanted to do it properly.’
I took a deep breath. ‘Thanks, Johnny. For everything. You taught me so much about loving. Sharing. Supporting. And laughing—we did a lot of that. Remember that time we almost got thrown out of the cinema when, hamster-like, you puffed your cheeks up full with popcorn?’ My eyes tingled. ‘You made me happy. Gave me confidence. And … I remember once you saying you felt the same. That me following my singing vocation made you surer than ever that you’d chosen the right career; that memories of fulfilling dreams would keep us content in our final years, not a pile of money.’ My voice broke. ‘I’m glad you followed your heart and started to achieve your goals before … before your time here was over.’
I stifled a sob. Sat up straighter. Cleared my throat. Very slightly, my lips upturned. ‘So, sleep tight, sweetheart. Rest peacefully. It’s goodbye now.’ I kissed the wind spinner for the longest moment, then put it back in the suitcase, which I zipped up and slid back under the bed.
CHAPTER 19
What a difference two weeks can make. I looked sideways at Tremain and longed to tear off the blue suit and smart tie he wore. The fine cut showed off his broad shoulders and solid neck. Hair newly shaved—hmm, you’ve got it, I couldn’t wait to kiss him later and run my hand over that bristly head; to see the brow lines disappear as that veiled look of vulnerability gained confidence.
‘Lovely service, wasn’t it?’ I said to Chelsea, who sat to my left. Yes. I’d brought Tremain to Saffron’s wedding. With his fine torso and brooding, moody way, I should have known from the start that he was really my Poldark. I smiled brightly, trying not to remember how Chelsea had laughed at me, along with Saffron’s cronies, at school. She had two toddlers now and was more laid-back about her appearance than I remembered, with lipstick that didn’t exactly match the shade on her nails.
‘Didn’t Saffy look beautiful? The laced cleavage on that dress is exquisite.’ She cleared her throat. ‘Love your outfit, Katie, by the way. The fifties style really suits your figure. Makes me wish I’d got bigger boobs.’ She pulled a face. ‘Mum promised me I’d go up a size after having kids, but I’m still waiting for that to happen.’
We laughed. I know. Weird. Everyone on our table was so polite. It was as if the school years had never taken place. I gazed opposite. Take Ryan, who always called me Tracy after the lead dumpy teenage character in Hairspray—his life goal had been to impress Saffron. Yet now he couldn’t have been more polite when I arrived and insisted on fetching me and Tremain each a glass of Bucks Fizz.
I gazed around the hotel conference room, at the round tables decorated with pink roses and white lilies. As well as her dress, Saffron’s wedding breakfast had been exquisite too, with a goat’s cheese tart to start, followed by leg of lamb and vanilla panna cotta for dessert. Cream curtains framed the huge windows and silver confetti hugged the ceiling in a net, all set up to be released onto the dance floor.
Under the table, a hand grabbed mine and squeezed my fingers. Tremain’s eyes twinkled.
‘So. Straight from here we go to your pad and pack your stuff, right? Then we can get off first thing in the morning. It’s a proper long drive back to Cornwall.’
I nodded. ‘The speeches are done. Our cue to disappear.’
The laughter left his eyes for a second. ‘You’re still sure? About coming back to Port Penny with me?’
I squeezed his fingers back. ‘Crazy, isn’t it? Me moving down South to help you and Kensa. Me, running Izzy’s mini Donuts & Daiquiris and singing for guests … It’s all happened so quickly.’ I shook my head. ‘Am I certifiably crazy, what with Greg moving here to take my position at Izzy’s main branch? He and I are effectively swapping lives.’
It looked like Izzy got her Disney prince after all and we had celebrated by having one of our holding-hands, jumping-up-and-down moments. Swiftly followed by a few tears. We’d miss each other but vowed to visit. And Skype. Plus, chat on WhatsApp.
‘Yep, you are mad.’ Tremain grinned. ‘Perhaps you should see a counsellor too.’
I leant forward and kissed him firmly. ‘Nah. No need. I’m lodging with Guvnah now, until I find my own place. She’s sharper than any psychiatrist.’ Tremain’s first hospital appointment had come through for two weeks’ time. ‘I can’t believe I’m going to be living near my gran again.’
Tremain had wanted me to move in with him but, ever independent, I felt it was early days. Even though my heart said he was the man I’d get old with, I needed to take my time if I were to start relying on someone again.
‘And it was a brainwave of yours, so it was, to suggest we offered Lucas’s job to Shirl Jones and make Earl caretaker. That will free me up to do many other jobs.’
‘I’m not jus
t a pretty face, you know,’ I said airily.
‘I know,’ he whispered in my ear. ‘You’ve also got pretty legs, pretty thighs and pretty—’
‘Really?’ I murmured, cheeks hot.
He nodded. ‘Not that any of that matters,’ he murmured. ‘I’ve always thought the important thing is to love with your soul, not your sight. I’m yours for keeps, if you want, Kate. Heart, soul, body … they all belong to you.’
I replied with the longest of kisses.
‘Katie! Thank you so much for coming.’
I pulled away from Tremain, ears hot, and looked up.
‘Saffron. Oh, um, hi. It’s been a lovely do. Thank you for inviting me … us.’
She smiled. What lovely white teeth. Porcelain skin. Lush blonde hair. Some things never changed.
‘Is this Ross?’ she said and turned to Tremain. A quizzical look crossed her face. Tremain looked nothing like wavy-haired, New Romantic Poldark.
‘No, this is Tremain.’
‘Proper pleased to meet you,’ he said.
Saffron gasped. ‘Oh, I do love a Cornish accent. I wanted to have a Poldark theme for the wedding but Mum and Dad were horrified; said that getting married was serious stuff.’ She laughed. ‘Perhaps I’ll do a themed party for our first anniversary. Katie, I could book you to sing.’
I gave a stiff smile.
Her cheeks flushed and she cleared her throat. ‘Would you do me a huge favour, Katie—I absolutely must go to the Ladies’ room, but need help with my skirts.’
‘Oh. Perhaps Chelsea …’ I turned to my left but she’d gone.
‘Please,’ said Saffron, in a bright voice. ‘I’d be terribly grateful.’
‘Won’t be a minute,’ I muttered to Tremain and stood up. My stomach churned. Was there some ulterior motive? Perhaps she wanted to corner me in private so that she could reel off a list of her amazing achievements. I took a deep breath. Don’t be ridiculous. With all those metres of silk, she probably did need a hand.
‘He looks nice,’ she said to me, as we left the conference room and headed left, along a corridor, to the toilets.
‘He works at a holiday resort. I’m moving there next week,’ I said.
‘Really? That’s amazing. Living in the South-west, eh? Lucky you. Just think of all those sunny days, the ice creams and beach barbecues … I’m envious.’
I pushed open the door to the ladies’ and we both headed in, stopping in front of the mirror to check our make-up.
‘Envious? You’ve got a career teaching. Now you’re married.’ I shrugged and met her face in the mirror. ‘I never thought I’d hear you admit to wanting something I’d got.’
She fiddled with the sleeve of her dress. Now was the moment to ask why I was really here. Funny. Since deciding to bring Tremain, I’d lost all impulse to impress her. Tremain was my man. She could like him or not. In fact, I’d suggested to Tremain that we back out of coming at the last minute but he said no—he’d already got my sense of curiosity sussed. He knew I’d always be asking myself what her true motive for inviting me had been.
Saffron looked around. The toilets were empty. She turned away from the mirror and leant against the basin unit. I did the same.
‘Katie …’
‘It’s Kate, now, actually,’ I said.
‘Kate … I invited you here because … I wanted to say sorry,’ she blurted out. ‘For the way I was when we moved up to high school.’
Wow. I stared at her, looking for a sarcastic twitch of the mouth. Nothing. Just wide blue eyes staring back.
‘Why? After all these years?’
She fiddled with a pearl teardrop, sewn on to her bodice. ‘I always felt bad—may not have shown it, but you and me, we were best friends at juniors.’ She smiled. ‘How we’d always go to each other’s house for lunch on a Saturday. I’d scrunch up my crisps and drink them from the bag, whereas you would put yours in between bread. Happy days.’
‘So what happened? Why did you ditch me?’
‘I never intended to. It’s just … Remember how I got bullied in top juniors—when Dad lost his job? My parents couldn’t afford a birthday party. Nor the fashionable clothes everyone else wore to non-uniform days. They called me Second-hand Saffy.’
I shrugged. ‘Guess I never saw it as bullying—I was always used to feeling like the odd one out and just accepted the pecking order. With all my siblings I never got new clothes so had never even appeared on the radar of being cool or fashionable. Whereas you were and then you lost it all.’
She nodded. ‘And then my family came into an inheritance, just as we started high school. Dad started his own business. Things took off big time and it was great making new friends without the baggage of the old me who couldn’t even afford to go to the cinema.’
‘You had designer clothes. Threw the best parties—not that I was ever invited.’ I gazed at her chin which wobbled slightly. Those blue eyes glistened. Age and hindsight were great gifts. ‘It’s OK, Saffron. I didn’t fit your new image. We were kids.’
‘But we used to be best mates, Katie—Kate. I’ve … never forgiven myself. Looking back, I can see I bought most of those friends, giving them designer handbags I didn’t appreciate because I already had so many, inviting them around and providing the most amazing snacks and drinks.’ She gave a wry smile. ‘You never cared about any of that stuff. That last year in juniors, when my family was skint, I didn’t have any money to buy you a birthday present …’
‘So you made me a gift voucher—worth one hour’s of you doing my maths homework.’ I grinned. ‘That was one of the best presents I ever got. I never did get algebra or geometry.’ I shrugged. ‘So why now, Saffron? Why friend me on Facebook and dig up the past?’
A guest came in and headed into a cubicle. Saffron turned around to the mirror again and I followed. We looked at each other in the glass.
‘I … I’ve been nervous about inviting you. That’s the real reason I left it quite late. None of my family had really dropped out because they’re ill. That was just an excuse. You see, since becoming a teacher, I’ve seen how cruel children can be,’ she said, in a lower voice. ‘Excluding pupils for no good reason. Name-calling. Insults. It’s all about the cliques.’ She squeezed my arm. ‘To be honest, I’m amazed at how you withstood it. Not sure I could. Like a couple of kids in my form … it’s often the most hard-working who get sidelined, but it doesn’t stop them—they just keep their heads down and get on, and achieve brilliant grades.’
‘I must have been the exception then! You were always the clever one. But I was lucky. Guvnah was there to turn to. She offered great advice as someone who never followed the crowd.’
Saffron’s face lit up. ‘How is she? Still painting?’
‘Yes. Granddad died. She’s remarried. Lives in Cornwall. We’ll be close to each other again.’ And, as the guest left the cubicle and washed her hands, I told Saffron all about my recent weeks in White Rocks.
‘Wow,’ said Saffron when we were alone again. ‘Good thing you took Izzy up on her offer of a holiday, then, otherwise you’d never have landed a job with regular singing work.’
I blushed, tension leaving my body as I saw occasional glimpses of the old Saffy—the one I knew as a little girl before we started worrying about boyfriends and body image. ‘Well, there was a good incentive to go down there …’ I preceded to tell her all about my plan to find a sexy Poldark lookalike for the wedding.
Saffron giggled. ‘Oh, Kate. That erotic writer sounds hilarious. And I wish you’d got a photo of Lucas.’
I grinned. ‘So, I’m really glad you invited me today, Saffron, because otherwise I might never have gone to White Rocks and met Tremain. And—’ I nodded my head slightly ‘—it’s been good to catch up. Thanks for … sharing.’
Saffron leant forward and hugged me. ‘Thanks for being gracious about it. Right.’ She started to lift her skirts. ‘You were going to help me into a cubicle …’
As it was, Tremain and I stayed
until the end of the wedding. Packing could wait until tomorrow. And I had more school friends to meet. None were as open as Saffron but all were interested in my life—and my boyfriend.
‘Funny, isn’t it?’ I said as we smooched to a slow dance, lights dim, fairy lights hanging from the ceiling. ‘I hated some of these people at school and the cutting words that tumbled out of their mouths. Yet now … they seem OK.’ I leant forward closer, heart pulsing as we rocked side to side. ‘It’s like you and Ben both joining up when you were sixteen. You can’t blame yourself—or should Juliette—for decisions made by the person, or rather the child you were back then.’
He stood back. Tucked my hair behind my ear, then his hand moved to the back of my head and tenderly he pulled me forward. Feeling slightly dizzy—from too much champagne or Tremain, I knew not—I kissed him back.
‘Wish I’d known you back then,’ he whispered eventually. ‘I’d have enjoyed making some very wrong but enjoyable decisions.’ He winked
‘Do you think I’m making the right decision? To move to Port Penny? What if you and I don’t work out?’ I gave a shy smile.
‘You’ll always have a job there, Kate. My life wouldn’t be worth living if Earl ever found out that I’d given you the chop!’
I smiled. ‘He’s a lovely bloke. And little Pearl has offered to be chief taster of any new doughnut flavours. As for Shirl …’
He nodded. ‘Her cooking is spot on for our new market. Last week’s guests loved her sharing platter with onion rings, garlic mushrooms, ciabatta and all those dips. And your singing evenings also went down pretty well—especially the Take That and Spice Girls one. As for the talent show …’
‘That family dressed up as the Kardashians …’
We both grinned.
‘Plus, how many toy Rocky Rabbits have you sold?’ I said.
‘Sixty-four last count.’
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