by Lund, S. E.
I bow back, and then my coach signals that we can start fighting and I lunge at him. He’s fast, so I gather that he’s another Adept who has already gone through training. I’ve improved tremendously during the past ten days, but he’s still better than me, always seeming one step ahead of me when we fall into fight trance.
Still, either I’m really good or he just keeps a bit ahead of me, letting me show my ability without shutting me down, but we seem to be almost equals. The fight goes on and on, much longer than normal and by the time our weapons are locked together, sweat is dripping off my face and my cheeks are hot, my breath ragged.
“You’re good,” he says, his voice muffled from behind the mask. “One of the best.”
He pushes me, managing to get his foot behind me, and I trip and fall back and he’s on top of me, his swords crossed and it’s a good thing they’re wooden or I’d be dead.
Then he pulls his mask off and it’s Michel…
CHAPTER EIGHT
"Love is a better teacher than duty."
Albert Einstein
“Julien really thinks he can protect you. That you can protect yourself,” he says, and his voice is hard, his blue eyes hooded, his hair falling in his eyes. “He can’t even protect you from me.” Michel is barely out of breath while I’m gasping. He's lying on top of me, his body heavy on mine. “If I could find you, how much easier would it be for Soren?”
I blink the sweat out of my eyes.
“If Soren wants me, he’ll take me. I’m resigned to that. He obviously doesn’t want me or he’d have taken me by now.”
“Or maybe he just wants to torture me a little longer by letting you stay with Julien before he does decide to take you from both of us.”
I try to wriggle out from underneath him, but he’s too strong and keeps me pinned beneath him.
“Are you going to let me up?”
“Have pity on me, Eve," he says, his gaze moving over my face. "Considering I had you back with me for so short a time before losing you again, you might just stay like this for a moment," he says. "Indulge me. It reminds me of another time we fought and the positions were reversed. Do you remember?”
“You know I don't," I say. "I've read a passage about it in my journal, but that's it."
Then, he joins his mind with mine, showing me the fight through his eyes.
Michel stands at the ready, waiting for me to enter the Dojo. I walk in, my cheeks bright pink from the chill air, the umbrella in my hand, my Boston U backpack over one shoulder, my hair a bit mussed from the wind.
I feel a surge of desire from him as he sees my face. His lust is mixed with a deep fondness for me that surprises me. Then I watch through his eyes as I run for the wooden practice swords and fight him, easily beating him, and I appear to him like a blur. Finally, he sees me as I lie on top of him and he's thinking that I'm amazing. I'm magnificent. I'm far too beautiful.
He wants me. He's already falling in love with me and can't resist me. Most of all, he wants me to kiss him as I lie on top of him.
He wants me to choose him.
Then he releases me from the shared memory and I'm back in the dojo in France, with his body still heavy on top of me.
He's here to take me back.
"Don't think you can just take me and I'll go along with you. I’ll fight you every step of the way.”
He smiles, his smile lopsided, his blue eyes dark. “I once told you I love brats, Eve. I do. Don't think that would dissuade me."
“Does Julien know you’re here? If he doesn't, he will soon enough. He'll come to rescue me.”
“Forget about Julien for just a moment. You need to listen to me, Eve. I’ve stood on the sidelines just to see what his game was, and I’ve seen it now. I’m here to ask that you come back to me.”
“You're asking or telling?”
He closes his eyes for a moment and exhales, his usually soft lips a tight line.
“Asking.”
I consider for a moment. He's actually asking me? Part of me doesn't believe it.
"Why would I come back to you, knowing what I know?"
“You know I didn’t do it under my own will."
"Tell me everything or you might as well leave now."
He sighs. "Julien wants to use you as an ordinary Adept, finding rogues and prosecuting them like you're a pair of police detectives. He has no ambition except to keep you by his side. That’s a waste of your gifts, Eve. I need to use you as you were intended to be used – to fight Soren. We’re going to join his coven and discover just what his plans are. You’ll be my pet.”
“Julien wants me as his partner. As equals. Why isn't that good enough for you?”
“I've already explained this. I have to trust you completely. You have to trust me completely. Soren has to believe you are under my control."
"You aren't in danger anymore. You don't need my protection. Besides, I thought you wanted to keep me out of this life."
He says nothing for a moment. "You want back in, and I know now I can't stop you. I tried and failed. I want you. I need you to stop Soren."
I can't believe he's actually here, thinking he can just take me back, especially after what happened between us. I decide to hear him out.
"And if I say yes?"
As I say the words, I swear I can see hope in his face, his eyes almost pleading.
"If you say yes, we’re going to do this right. The way I planned on doing it from the start.”
“What does that mean?” I say, but I think I know what he means. He wants to do the whole Dominance/submission thing. For us to be Master and slave. Why is it that, even now, the thought appeal to me so? A little jolt of lust goes right to my groin and I hate myself for it, my emotions clashing.
He must feel it for he leans his forehead against mine for a moment as his breathing quickens. We remain like that for a moment and even my heart races at the image of kneeling naked at his feet. I push it out of the way, hating my weakness. My heart screams that he killed my mother… My mind counters that he was compelled to kill her just like he was compelled when he killed Danielle. Not of his own choice.
It was Soren. My hatred for Soren almost makes me change my mind.
He exhales heavily, making that sound in the back of his throat. Then, he pulls back, his face serious once more.
"You'd need to obey me in every way and without hesitation. If I tell you to do something, you have to do it. I have to know with complete certainty you won't question me."
"I don't really think I want this whole Dominance / submission thing," I say, but I know it's a lie. There's this part of me that seriously finds it appealing.
I hate that it does.
"Eve," he says, his voice soft. "This isn’t about what you want or what I want anymore. If it was, you and I would be living in Wales on the Pembrokeshire coast. From there, we could watch the stars at night and walk the beaches. Listen to the birds nesting in the cliffs on Skomer Island. Make love to the sound of the surf."
I stare at him for a moment. Despite everything, it still touches my heart that he wants us to be together somewhere far away, but I must fight Soren. Maybe I'm starting to accept that Michel isn't truly guilty, that Soren was the one truly responsible for my mother's death.
But still… I'm with Julien now. I love Julien and it's only in that moment that I realize I do love him.
“If you want me to come with you, you have to tell me everything. Tell me how you knew my mother.”
He sighs. “I met your mother before she joined the Council as a researcher. Then she married your father and she wanted a child so much but she was infertile, her tubes blocked and scarred by an infection she got when she was on the streets. I told her about a Council program which would provide her with IVF if she agreed to carry at least one child to term for our use.”
“So you blackmailed her.”
He exhales. “We gave her what she wanted most in life. A child. You think what she wanted most was to kill
all vampires, but you're wrong. She wanted you.”
“You preyed on her desire for a child in order to get your prized Adept with fight skills.”
“Eve, do you have any idea how important you are?”
“No,” I say, anger filling me once more, despite his powers. “You’ve never really explained.”
“At first, your kind – the new group of enhanced Adepts – were intended to protect vampires like Julien, who’d be fighting those out for Dominion. To protect them as well as work cases.”
I nod. “My mother could fight. How was that possible?"
"She was one of the very few natural anomalies found due to genetic screening. They were fast, but they didn't have fight sight. That was just your group. Eve, your DNA was enhanced using Ancient DNA, and from them, DNA from the Grigori.”
“Grigori,” I say, scoffing. “I don’t believe in any Fall.”
He sighs. “Regardless, when the Grigori fell, they infused their DNA into that of humans and it’s been passed on for thousands of years, mostly silent. When it is expressed, it causes more problems than it solves. Your mother’s abilities caused her so many problems until she understood they were gifts."
I frown, not knowing what that meant. “What problems?”
“Like you, she had touch telepathy and saw violence in the objects she touched. But unlike you, she grew up in a very violent home and so she was almost driven mad by it. She ran away, lived on the streets, was a prostitute and drug addict in Brooklyn. Like Kate. That’s how she became infertile.”
"Kate was an Adept?"
"Yes," he says, shaking his head. "She was a natural anomaly like your mother. But she wasn't discovered until it was too late for her. She couldn't be saved. All I could do was care for her until she died. I couldn't cure her, even after I transformed."
I exhale, wanting to keep pushing him to get more answers.
"You met my mother because of your work.”
He nods. “I was in New York for a while doing outreach for the Council. We looked specifically for runaways and street youth. Because of their gifts, natural Adepts most often had problems in school and with their families. I found your mother and realized she was an Adept. I brought her to our rehab facility. She blossomed. Went to school, got her degrees, met your father…”
“Julien said I was meant for him. My mother wanted me to be his Adept, if I chose to join the Council when I reached eighteen.”
Michel looks away and I follow his gaze out the window at the mountains surrounding the Abbey.
“Technically, you were intended for one of us. Your mother wanted it to be Julien because she trusted him. I wasn't an operative at that time, but Julien was, so you would never have been mine."
"An operative?"
"Undercover," he says. "Working to infiltrate Blackstone. I was at the SCU."
"Why are Adepts like me so important?"
Finally we sit up and he takes my hand, leading me to chairs along the wall. I sit and he stands in front of me. I look at my coach and he’s standing with his head down. Michel must have compelled him to comply, no questions. Michel sits beside me on a chair, one arm on the back behind me. I move away from him.
"We discovered that those of you created under the new program have this unique ability. When you drink our blood, you can connect telepathically to us and we can connect to you. If you drank the blood of ten vampires, you can connect us all. Genes we didn’t understand from the Grigori were transferred, giving you this ability. You’re a conduit.”
I move farther away, for when he's so close, I can't help but feel something from him.
“Why is that important?”
“It would link all of us together so we’d know exactly what each one was doing and thinking. Like a collective. Like the Grigori before they fell. It would be amazing for warriors. Or strategists. Or angels who just want back a bit of the heaven they lost when they fell. That's why Soren wants you.”
“This is insane,” I say and turn my face away. “The Grigori. Fallen angels. I don’t believe it. They’re just mutated humans. They have some ability to project into our brains and make us think we’re experiencing things. Like you making me see wings, manipulating my dreams or my mind. That’s it.”
He sighs. “You just won’t believe, will you? No matter what.”
“I’m a skeptic,” I say and look at him. “I need proof. Evidence.”
“Haven’t I given that to you? What more do I have to do?”
I shake my head.
“How can you prove it isn’t a mental projection? You can’t. I know some neuroscience. Real experience or stimulating a memory – there is no ultimate difference to the brain or the person experiencing it. Until you can prove it, projection is the simplest explanation. I tend to accept those over the more complicated ones that rely on some improvable deity.”
I'm so confused and squeeze my fingers into my palms to clear my mind.
"Regardless of what you believe, believe this. I didn't want this for you. I wanted you to study music like your parents did. But what I want isn't the point. This is about fighting Dominion," he says, "and both you and I have a responsibility to join the fight. This is what your mother would have wanted for you, had she known how close we are to it. Julien's so infatuated with you, he won’t let you be used the way you should be, but Eve, as much as I love you, I know I have to put my personal desires aside and use you the way you were meant to be used.”
“As a weapon?”
He nods, closing his eyes. “Yes.”
“I hate the thought of leaving Julien.”
“You’ll hate yourself even more one day if I you don’t come with me.”
“Why can’t you and Julien just cooperate and fight against Dominion together?”
He shakes his head. “Because we both love you and want you for our own. Neither of us wants to yield to the other.”
“Why can’t I choose between you?”
“You can. I just wanted to give you time. I wanted to see how Julien would use you and now I have.” He shakes his head. “In the end, he’s too selfish. He wants a happy little life with you as his partner, fighting crime like you’re some ordinary Adept. You’re not ordinary and you were meant for this war.”
He shakes his head for a moment as if fighting his emotions.
“I can't lie, Eve. I was just as foolish and selfish. I thought I could make a new life for you and escape this future but I was wrong. I understand now that I have to follow this path, however much I wish to avoid it. As much as I love you – as much as I want you, I need you with me to win this war even more.”
“So I can choose?”
“Yes, but please," he says and takes my shoulders in his hands, staring in my eyes. "Consider what I've said seriously. I'm giving you this choice. By rights, I could just take you, the way Julien has. He didn't give you a choice, did he? He took you and you were far too overwhelmed by him and by everything that's happened to you to refuse. I will give you the choice. I've always given you the choice. But let me warn you again – things have gone farther than I thought they would. Time is not on our side, Eve.”
“Tell me so I understand.”
“I would but I don’t want to frighten you." He shakes his head. "I don’t want to break your heart.”
“It’s that bad?”
He nods, and brushes a strand of hair off my face. “If it wasn’t, I’d let you stay with him without making this offer. I won't lie to you. He can make you happy. I know that.”
“So if I say I'm staying with Julien, you'll just up and leave right now?”
“I let you stay this long. I didn’t try to take you back. I wanted to see what he’d do and how you’d respond. I've made my offer. You have until the end of the course to decide. At the end of your test, Julien will be here and he'll take you with him. Or I'll take you with me. It's your choice. You'll have to live with the consequences.”
I don't know what to do or say, so I just sit th
ere, staring at his beautiful face, so filled with concern.
"I want you to be happy, Eve," he says and leans in, kissing me softly. "I'll do everything I can to make you as happy as possible if you agree to help me. But I can't promise you happiness. You may chafe at what you must do, what you must be when we're on stage and you're seen as my pet. As my blood slave. It will be dangerous. You may even die."
"If I decide to stay with Julien?"
"I'll leave and I won't come back unless you ask me to. Even if you do decide to stay with him, at any time, you need only contact me and I'll come for you. It will break my heart if you choose him, but I want you to be free to choose. To be happy."
Something's building inside of me. Emotions are filling me up, making me close to tears. I bite my cheek for a moment.
“What about your happiness?”
He shakes his head.
“I’ll be happy once we stop Dominion. Not until.”
I close my eyes and take in a deep breath.
"I'll decide when the time comes," I say.
He nods and releases my shoulders.
"Have you fed yet today?"
I shake my head. "I usually do before they shut out the lights. The blood heals me of any wounds I receive during training. Then Julien and I connect."
He nods. "I want you to have my blood tonight. If Julien knows I've made this offer, there's no telling what he might do."
"He'll be worried if I don't connect with him."
"Your trainer will call him and tell him that they had to feed you ordinary vampire blood because the facility experienced a power outage and the blood went bad. He won't be happy, but he'll wait. I know he's busy in Boston. He's planning on flying to France tomorrow night so he'll be here for your final test."
"That's devious."
He cracks a grin. "I'm eight hundred years old, Eve. I've had lots of practice."
