by Erin R Flynn
“Anything else?” Brian asked after a few moments of silence.
“No, but he really needs to not brag he’s the brother-in-law of the Alpha,” I muttered, shaking my head when I got several upset looks. “Hey, he shouldn’t say it about being brothers with a division chief either. There are a lot of people who don’t like law enforcement. Same with shifters.”
“You’re right,” Grammy Havers quickly agreed. “We immediately went to thoughts of your abduction.”
“Right, that,” Eugene grumbled. “Jimmy was talking about it like Sera took a trip to the tropics and brushed it off. It upset a lot of the pack, and it really makes her look bad. I mean, it’s not right, but people give her shit for having a human at her side because you guys are so much weaker. Then his brother is running his mouth on pack lands? A lot of people were talking about it.”
I cursed up a storm. “And then we had guests from all over. That’s probably half of the mating offers that suddenly were being pushed. They thought I was so weak and in trouble that I needed offers and they could get at me.” I shot Brian a hurt look. “Did you even talk to him about what he did at the picnic I was pissed about?”
“Yes,” he promised.
“What did he do, because you were very upset?” Grammy Havers pushed.
“He was spiking Brian’s drinks with fucking Everclear. He knew Brian has no filter and thought it would be funny, would be what he deserved for being so damn perfect.”
“Jimmy’s always been a bit jealous of Brian,” Mrs. Havers accepted, wincing when several people snorted. “More than a bit?”
“Very jealous,” Dain answered, shaking his head. “They can smell it. I can feel it. That jealousy turns to anger fast, as he has a temper. He was furious he tried to start shit and instead Brian got hot sex in the woods with Sera instead of embarrassed.”
“Yeah, well, there was still damage done, as that was the first time anyone had ever talked about rings to me, and now I flinch at the topic,” I grumbled, hugging myself. “He could hurt the boys by running his mouth, Brian. If he was telling people those laws to protect them were shit—fuck, he could get dead if he tells the wrong person and it leads to them being hurt. You said you’re their brother too.”
I turned and walked away, at my limit and now wanting to be by the boys. I heard some agitated voices behind me, but I ignored it.
Dain was right. I fully expected Brian to walk away, pick his family over me.
4
I tried to chill my mood and recover the outing by joining the boys by the clothes, smiling at how they were trying so hard to get jammies with every animal we had in our pack. “Don’t forget Horton. He’s still ours.” I picked out a polar bear jumper in the next size. “And stager sizes. Even I know they grow too fast. It was all the new moms said when I worked with some and at my old gym.”
I glanced up to see everyone else coming back in, feeling a punch to my gut when Brian wasn’t with them.
Dain cupped my face as he moved in front of me. “He left but not because of what you’re thinking. He’s heading to Jimmy’s. His family too.” He gave me a gentle smile. “I think Jimmy is going to get the ass kicking he’s deserved for a long time.”
I nodded. “Sorry.” I didn’t elaborate with the boys around. “If I do something like that again where it’s a security thing, you have my blessing to interject yourself. You don’t blow stuff up and only start shit when it has to be started. I shouldn’t have brushed it off.”
“Thank you.” He gave me a gentle kiss. “We all need to do better on security, so it’s smart to double check each other.”
Fair enough.
We picked out a three piece gray furniture set with convertible crib, changing station dresser, and another taller dresser. That first part in place seemed to help, as Leo had brought his tablet, and as we were still shopping, we found a really comfy charcoal overstuffed rocker.
Next, we agreed on a stroller that actually was also the car seat. The carrier locked into both, and it was a sports stroller for any of us jogging or just we tended to walk faster than humans. But it gave us the most flexibility, and it folded up.
“We can do this,” I whispered, feeling better now that we had more locked in. I ended up taking a picture and sending it to Brian so maybe he knew I wasn’t excluding him. Maybe?
The diaper bag was no big, even if we got a few for us. Mine was a sports messenger one that looked almost like the bag I brought to the office. We knew we’d get more clothes online and even toys, as I didn’t like the selection and I wanted to look into those more.
The only hiccup was when I put my foot down on some ridiculous baby tub spa that had jets and made bubbles. Fine, we couldn’t as a newborn and maybe even infant, but I was a woman who loved the fun of baths, and Topher could have that too. Besides, even I knew bathing kids was not easy.
That’s why they made toys for the bath after all. Tommy had promised to share his rubber duck collection with Topher, which made a lot of us smile.
There was undoubtedly a ton more we would need, but it was a good start, and we were all tired at the end of it. While I paid and some of us loaded, some headed out to get more from Target, as Luca hadn’t gotten all into baby detergents and the list of what was needed, along with more formula now that we knew Topher was fine with that brand.
Hey, at least we had a plan. That was much better than my freak out the day before.
We brought lunch home, and the furniture was all in stock, so Hagan actually called Noah since he now owned all of Vlad’s businesses, including the moving company. Yeah, that was much smarter than trying to figure out how to get it in my SUV or one of the other vehicles when we had so many people. We had to do as much as we could the smartest way.
Jonik arrived with a petite woman right as we finished lunch and were taking tags off all the clothes we’d bought so we could wash them. I walked right over to her and hugged her before Dain could even greet her.
“Thank you for coming. I have no idea how to take care of a baby.”
“You’re very welcome, Princess,” she chuckled.
“Just Sera.” I cleared my throat and pulled away, shocked I’d been so friendly with a stranger.
“Everyone feels that with Maya,” Dain promised, hugging the woman next. “It’s why so many have begged her to be their nanny. Her very aura is comfort and care.”
“Yes, yes, but we must talk,” she said gently. “I cannot come out of retirement. I can help you for now and—”
“Just until we adapt and find someone permanent,” Dain assured her. “I was also hoping you might have insight on that, as I have been too out of the loop. We need someone trusted.”
I gave him a worried look. “Maybe Alena knows someone?”
“Or more than one is always smart,” Maya interjected. “If you are hoping for nanny and guard, they need to not be sleep deprived, and two for outings is smart.”
“That is smart,” I agreed. I smiled as Tasar came in holding Topher, Alok and Luca with him. “Perfect timing.”
“He’s a bit fussy, and I have a feeling he’s worried you’re gone,” he admitted, coming over to me. Topher immediately settled down when I held him. “He’s too young to tell us apart visually or catch much, but I believe he knows you’re like him and can sense it.”
“I can sense it from him,” I said as I slipped my ring in my pocket. “Yeah, it’s like we can sense each other like we sense images or whatever.” I rocked a bit as I held him, making sure to think of what we got for him, not so much the stuff, as he was too young to get that, but the security. We were prepared, and he was going to be safe.
I got a few images from him, not really cohesive ones like I would from an adult, but I knew he was comfortable, liked my heartbeat. He knew it was me and I was important. It wasn’t like a mommy feel or family, but more he knew he needed me?
Yeah, newborn brains didn’t work like I was used to.
I told them what I was feeling, an
d Tasar helped me get into the wrap baby carrier, first putting it around my stomach, crossing it up and then back again, with another cross and then wrapping around me before tying it off. I blinked at him a few times. “I feel like I need a master’s fucking degree to figure that out. That’s the best option?”
“Yes, and it will become second nature, I promise,” he chuckled, shaking his head as he showed me how to guide Topher into it. It basically made a very secure sort of kangaroo pouch for him that kept him on my chest so he felt my heartbeat but also supported his head and kept my arms and hands free. Okay then, so it made sense.
But did it really have to be so complicated to get into?
“One size fits all,” Dain explained. “And no straps or nylon adjustors that could hurt his sensitive skin.”
“That makes more sense,” I conceded.
Dr. Sloan actually showed up to check on Topher, and Maya had several questions for his care, making me feel worlds better that she really was the baby guru. Halfway through Dain burst out laughing, apologizing and giving me loving looks.
“You are not a pervert.”
I groaned, realizing what he’d gotten from me. “I keep thinking about it.”
“It was your first baby and newborn, my love,” he comforted. “And then you felt like a perv for noticing and being curious about him being circumcised and how bad it might be. Now you keep trying not to think about it or worrying. That does not make you a pervert. It makes you have every mom gene you think you don’t, as you’re worrying over everything, not thinking of his bits.”
“And the fact it looks like an alien is trying to come out of his belly button,” I admitted, totally picturing that when I saw it again.
“It does,” several people agreed. Oh good, we were all freaks then.
We got Maya settled after the doc headed out. We weren’t going to set all the furniture in the nursery until we had a chance to paint it. For now his room was the living room, but we could get a pass for putting it all together so fast. We already had the stencils ordered and had agreed on the pastels to go with the white and gray everything else.
Others showed up with a whole bunch of stuff we needed, and we started setting it up. The washer was going with clothes, and Maya gave several of us a lesson in what should be in a diaper bag.
Now if I just felt ready to change an actual diaper, I’d be set. Fuck a duck.
I was looking up toys while Topher was sleeping against Hagan who was wearing the wrap carrier. Leo had asked to, but for now the adults agreed that it was too dangerous because of how small they got when they shifted. They had it mostly under control, but this was a stressful situation, and someone could say the wrong thing or scare them into shifting.
Sitting down and holding him was fine. None of us were worried then even if we all seemed to be hovering over each other who were newbs. Hey, I wasn’t offended. I appreciated the backup, which Alvin said when he gave Topher his bottle.
I’d found something I really liked to compliment our stencils idea. There had been a suggestion to get those stuffed animal heads, which were cute and in, but given we were part animal and I had seen the horror of hanging heads of shifters, I wasn’t the only one who firmly said no. But these were baby animal watercolors with sayings. They were sold out, but it gave me an idea.
“Alvin, we should do a photo shoot of our animals,” I said, showing him the tablet since he was the one who liked photography and was really good at it. “We take pictures and print them up with sayings like this and make them into canvases or something.”
“That’s really cool,” he agreed. “Yeah, I like that.”
“We’ll do something for the fairies too,” I promised Dain as I showed him. “Something cute like ‘fly high’ and wings.”
“I like it.”
Another bottle feeding and diaper change, and Topher was back out after a bit of playing. We left Maya to start figuring out his routine and schedule after she gave us a list of bottles to order and all of that.
“He has our metabolism,” Hagan joked, shaking his head that Topher needed a bottle after three to four hours even if it was just a few ounces. It would get better as he got bigger and could have more at a time, but yeah, that was a messed up sleep schedule for sure.
But at least he seemed to really like to sleep. He seemed to want to sleep on one of us, but I couldn’t really blame him after what he’d been through. Who didn’t like a good snuggle?
Brian walked through the door of my apartment as we were tossing stuff out and came right to me, cupping my face and kissing me deeply. “I choose you. I swear I choose you. Please, I do, Sera. I—I cannot live without you. You were gone, and I died inside. I won’t let anyone take you from me again, and I’m not walking away for anyone.”
I opened my mouth to say… Something but then smelled blood. I grabbed his hand and saw cuts and scrapes. “What happened?” My eyes went wide as I realized he had a cut on his cheek and a shiner forming. “What the hell happened?”
He cleared his throat. “I sort of pounded Jimmy when he broke the last straw by saying you weren’t as hot of shit as you acted. I tried to have a calm discussion with him, and it blew up.”
“You decked your brother because he badmouthed me?” I whispered, completely shocked. When he nodded, I pulled his head down and kissed him with all I had. It wasn’t that he’d hurt Jimmy, but that… He’d picked me. I didn’t want us to be in that situation, but we were and he picked me.
He lifted me up and set me on the counter, moving between my legs and cupping my face. “Are we okay? We’ll have the other discussion later, but right here is where I want to be, and I love you.”
“I love you too.” I nodded, nuzzling his neck. “We’ll get you a picture or stencil too so you’re not excluded either.”
We quickly filled him in, and he smiled, nodding that it was a good idea. “Maybe a star or badge, like a shield.”
“I like it.” I gave him a worried look. “So what happened? I mean—do your parents hate me?”
“No, they’re on your side, and they were mortified he’d pulled all of that. Everything has always been harmless. Grammy thinks he’s spiraling because he broke off his engagement and then didn’t find wilder times and then she wouldn’t take him back.” He nodded when I gave him a shocked look. I hadn’t known that last part.
Then again, I’d been abducted, so there were still things too often I had to get caught up on.
He let out a slow breath. “He did, however, want to clarify what happened about the boys at the picnic. He knew people could get in deep shit, but he said people were freaked, murmuring you were threatening human kids. He was honestly trying to defuse the situation a bit, but he gets how dangerous things are for the boys and was clear he’d never say a word that could risk them.”
“Well, that’s better, but she wasn’t exaggerating, and it wasn’t for him to handle,” Hagan muttered.
“He accepted that,” Brian promised, glancing over at Hagan. “But you called him on it in front of people, and he was pissed he tried to help and got smacked as he said like he was too stupid to help.”
“He’s got issues with being the baby and being treated like a kid, but he acts like one too often,” Eugene muttered. “That’s good at least he gets the situation with the boys and takes it seriously.”
“He’s your brother, so he can’t be all bad, but he’s got to get a handle on this jealousy or he’s going to ruin his life and ours,” I said gently to Brian, glad when he nodded. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I started all—”
He kissed me quiet. “You didn’t. He did, and I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner or take it more seriously. You deserved better than that.”
I gasped, pushing at his chest. “Are you not perfect? Are you telling me after all this time you have flaws? This is totally unacceptable!”
“It is,” he chuckled, kissing my hair.
Leo let out a yelp as he opened the door to take a load to the recycl
ing. I was off the counter and moving towards the door in a flash, practically sliding into Reagan and Zeno.
My wolf reacted weird to seeing him, lurching inside of me for some reason, but Zeno seemed ready, giving me a low growl and backing me away from the door. My wolf didn’t want to be told what to do by a weaker wolf. I tried to argue he was our dad, and that’s when it hit me why she was upset.
He wasn’t our dad. We’d sent our dad off to others to punish and handle, and this man was acting like he was blood. That explained why Alena said not to be surprised if he came. Zeno was making his place in my life clear.
“You are my daughter,” he snarled. “That man is not your blood anymore. I am. Alena is. Eva is. We are your family. That man is nothing but your original DNA.”
I whimpered, his words hurting even as I heard the pain in his own tone, his love for me. My back hit the wall, and I slid down, crumbling into myself. “You could leave me too. He abandoned me and called me a bigger freak now. I’m a freak among wolves even. You guys used to kill clairvoyants!”
“You’re also scared for Topher because he’s a more powerful one than you are,” he murmured, kneeling with me. “Sera, that’s not the law anymore. Clairvoyants, telepaths, and psychics are all safe now. I’ve never killed one. I’ve never met one before you. One of Eva’s consorts met one, and he wasn’t a good person that had nothing to do with his abilities, and he was dealt with. That’s it.”
I nodded, still upset and fighting with my wolf. She wanted our real family, not to be adopted. Wolves didn’t abandon each other. Family didn’t leave, and you didn’t stop being family with people. I mentally snorted. Yeah, right. Welcome to the real world.
She snapped at me, and I shifted, annoyed I’d trashed more clothes.
