I told myself I was being stupid. He was a professional, here to work a case. Even if his presence was unofficial, he still knew what he was doing. And that was solving a case, not getting involved with a CDC investigator.
We were practically coworkers.
But when his hand covered mine, its warmth enveloping me, and I turned to look into his brown eyes, I knew I’d been wrong.
The banked heat in his gaze assured me that he wasn’t thinking of me as a coworker. He wasn’t thinking of me as a doctor, even. Right now, in this moment, he was considering me as a man thinks of a woman.
It was a bad idea.
And I didn’t care.
His hand rested atop mine so lightly that I could turn my palm upward and lace my fingers through his.
Tugging gently on our interlinked fingers, he pulled me closer to him then used his other hand to brush my hair back from my face.
“So soft,” he murmured, letting the strands fall through his fingers before brushing my cheek in a light caress that ended with him tipping my chin up.
Slowly—so slowly that I could pull away at any moment—he dropped his lips to mine, the gentle pressure of his mouth as much a question as a demand.
With a rush, something inside me answered, like hundreds of voices calling out at once.
Yes, they whispered. Yes. We need more.
The sound of them made my head spin, and for a moment, I was in one of my dreams, a nightmare where the voices were in charge of my body.
Where my body was not my own.
The room spun around me dizzily, and I fought to steady my breathing, certain that I had pulled away from Scott’s kiss, ready to apologize for my dizzy spell.
When the room steadied, though, I found that I had not stopped the kiss. In fact, at some point I had deepened it, wrapping my arms around Scott’s neck.
I came to myself as Scott slipped his hands down my back to rest them on my waist, pulling me closer to him.
“More,” I heard myself whisper, the word an echo of the voices clamoring in my head.
I could feel my body responding to the FBI agent, feel the heat of his mouth against me, the light pressure of his hands against my hips, the brush of his chest against mine through the fabric of our clothing.
All of these things aroused me.
I couldn’t stop.
Couldn’t stop kissing him.
Couldn’t stop my fingers from threading through the hair brushing against the nape of his neck.
It was as if I were a passenger in my own body.
And even as my body responded to Scott’s touch, my mind froze in terror, listening to voices whispering words I couldn’t quite make out.
As suddenly as it had begun, it was over, and I was back in control. The fingers brushing the nape of Scott’s neck were my own, and I could move them down to his shoulders. With that realization, the terror that had almost consumed me disappeared, leaving only the physical pleasure of Scott’s touch in its wake.
I didn’t know what had just happened, but I knew that I had wanted Scott to kiss me. I wasn’t going to let any temporary insanity destroy that for me.
Instead, I let my lips linger against his for a moment longer, and then unwound my arms from around his neck.
“You okay?” His voice was roughened by desire, deeper than usual, but his hands remained gentle against my waist. He was big enough, and I assumed strong enough, as well, that his touch could have been bruising. I had known men like that, either too self-centered or too unaware to recognize the damage they could inflict with merely a touch on someone smaller than they were. Scott’s touch was in no way uncertain, but I knew, without even trying, that I would be able to pull away from him without any resistance at all.
No resistance from him, anyway.
My inner demons—or whatever those voices were—might be another story altogether.
I brushed the thought away. I couldn’t afford to consider what that might have been. If I did, I might be forced to admit there was something potentially very wrong with me.
I might be losing my mind.
No. That couldn’t be it.
I was tired.
Overworked.
Missing answers that I knew had to be found in this case.
Anything that I had experienced while I kissed Scott Chandler was an aberration. I wasn’t losing my mind. It was only another dream.
I’m exhausted and overworked and just…fell asleep. Or something.
I wasn’t hearing creepy voices in my head.
I was not going insane.
And I definitely wasn’t somehow connected to whatever monster was attacking these children.
But again, the word floated through my mind, this time echoed by hundreds of voices that only I could hear.
Aswang.
No matter how hard I tried, though, I couldn’t force the word out, couldn’t say it aloud to Scott.
Fine. I couldn’t share this personal horror. But maybe, for just a little while, I could forget the terror that had been building in me over the last few days.
For the first time since I’d stepped into Houston General, I had a goal that I knew I could reach, a reason to keep moving forward.
When Scott’s hand smoothed back the curl that had fallen across my cheek and tucked it behind my ear, his hand was gentle, and I knew that no matter how much bigger than me he might be, he would never hurt me, never touch me in anger or violence.
Scott Chandler might carry a gun for a living, but he was quite possibly the gentlest man I had ever met.
I trusted him to protect me.
That realization shook me. I wasn’t used to thinking in terms of protection. But this new threat—this monster, whatever it might be—had shaken us all.
And what if there’s a monster within?
I crammed the thought back down as hard as I could, as far as it would go.
And yet part of me couldn’t help but notice that the thought had come in my own voice rather than the multivalent tones of my nightmares.
If I feared some internal monster, at least that fear was my own.
“What are you thinking?” Scott’s voice was as gentle as his touch. His hand smoothed across my shoulder and down my arm until he could trace each fingertip with his own. When I looked into his eyes, they were clear and bright, like pools in which I could see all the way to the bottom. All I saw there was desire—simple and uncomplicated.
I don’t know what he saw in my eyes, but whatever it was prompted him to lean forward and kiss me. Unlike the first time, this kiss was not a question—it was a demand for something more, something deeper.
Something stronger.
I responded with almost my whole being. With every part—except that deepest, darkest portion that I kept walled away from myself and from the world, and now, from him, as well.
If I could have, I think I would have opened that part of me, as well, but it remained dark and closed off, and I let my thoughts skitter away from it, somehow certain that approaching too closely would equal disaster.
Scott’s tongue swept gently across my lips, urging me to open to him, and as he deepened the kiss, I forgot to worry about how much of myself to give. The heat of his mouth drew me in, and a tiny, breathy whimper of desire escaped me.
The sound urged him on, and he wound one hand into my hair, and pressed the other palm against the small of my back, pulling me closer until my breasts brushed against his chest. Even through our clothing, that smallest of contacts made my breath catch in my throat. He swept across the roof of my mouth with his tongue, the connection sending shivers racing down my spine.
Arching against him, I used my hands to frame his face without breaking the kiss, and then ran my fingers through his short hair.
Then I was unbuttoning his shirt, desperate to feel more of him. More skin. More heat. More. I didn’t want to think, merely feel.
Scott seemed perfectly content to follow my lead, sliding my shirt up over
my head and off my arms as soon as I finished unbuttoning his. After that, we took turns, moving as quickly as we could to remove clothing, as if nothing else in the world mattered but this moment, right now.
With our shirts puddling on the floor, Scott took my hands and drew me up to stand next to the bed, where he unzipped my skirt and pushed at it until it fell into a heap around my ankles. I stepped out of it, then kicked my feet out of my low heels. He had to bend over to kiss me again, and this time as he did, his hands ran up my ribs to cup my breasts, his thumbs playing in circles that matched the movements of his tongue in my mouth.
Heat swept through me at his touch, and I melted against him. He started to pull me back toward the bed, but I stopped him.
“Not yet,” I whispered, my voice husky. I slipped my hands down his chest to the crisp line of hair that led below his waistband. At the touch of my fingertips, he sucked in a breath, and I smiled.
As I unbuckled his belt and slid his dark suit trousers down his hips, I became aware of his erection pressing against the fabric in front of me. Hooking the waistband of his boxers with my thumbs, I dragged them down as well.
Then I pushed at his chest gently until he sat back on the edge of the bed, and dropped to my knees in front of him.
As I leaned in between his legs, he drew in a shaky breath. Lightly, I scraped my fingernails along his thighs then flicked my tongue along the side of his cock. His breathing shifted to match the rhythm of my tongue as I moved down, then back up to the head, and when I grasped him to guide the length of him into my mouth, he groaned.
Yes. This was exactly what I needed. Someone kind and strong. Someone I could lose myself in, if only for a short time.
Someone who could protect me, even from myself if necessary.
Part of me knew the thought was strange, but I ignored it, focusing instead on the feel of Scott inside my mouth, the feel of silken skin over the hot hardness of him, the rhythm of our motion, the way that the shivers running through him made me tremble with desire, as well.
After only a few moments, he whispered, “Stop, Lili. Please,” his voice as hot and throbbing as the rest of him.
Slowly, I drew him out of my mouth, reveling in the feeling of power it gave me. Scott drew in a deep breath then pulled me up to face him.
“My turn,” he whispered.
Chapter 18
Scott
It had taken every ounce of self-control I had not to explode as I watched Lili’s mouth slide up and down, her generous lips wrapped around my cock. When I stopped her, the smile she gave me—a knowing smirk, as if she had been aware of exactly how much I could take—nearly undid me again.
But she took my hands and stood, and then leaned in to kiss me again. This time she took the lead in our kiss, her lips burning against me, her tongue playing with mine in the same motions she had been using moments before. I pushed against her lacy black panties until they rolled down her hips and fell to the floor with the rest of our clothing.
She pressed her knees into the mattress on either side of my thighs until she was kneeling over me and deepened the kiss, twining her slender arms around my neck. Her scent enveloped me, something slightly musky, combined with a hint of rosemary and overlaid with the smell of the antiseptic soap the hospital provided.
I wrapped my arms around her waist and turned a little, preparing to slide her onto the bed beneath me. I wanted to taste her, to run my mouth across every part of her.
She pulled her mouth away from mine, stopping me with a whisper. “Please. I want to feel you inside me.”
I had imagined variations on those words from the moment I met her.
And yet, I hadn’t believed it would be possible, had known it would be unprofessional. I had done nothing to prepare for the moment.
Great.
“I don’t have protection,” I finally said, meeting her eyes.
She grinned. “I do.” Holding herself steady with one hand on my arm, she bent sideways and reached into her purse on the floor, retrieving the foil package.
The combination of agility and competence made me that much harder, and as she slid the condom down over me and positioned me against her, I had to bite the inside of my cheek to maintain control.
Then she raised back up and draped her arms across my shoulders and pressed her forehead to mine, keeping eye contact as she slid down, pressing herself onto me slowly, squeezing my cock tightly.
I held my breath as she raised back up partway then pushed down until I was completely inside her.
Chapter 19
Lili
It took only a few moments to find our rhythm together, and then, for the first time in days, my mind was silent, focused only on the physical sensations coursing through me. Scott filled me entirely, pushing at the edges of comfort in a way that only made it more exciting, rather than less.
He held my eyes with his own as he slid his thumb into my mouth. I sucked on it for a moment, and then he drew it down my torso, leaving a chilled trail behind, until it rested against my clit, where he began sliding it in circles in time to the motion of our bodies. I threw my head back and pushed toward him.
I could feel the warmth from the friction of our bodies building both inside and out, and the sliding of his thumb matched the thrust of him hitting the deepest, innermost part of me, over and over again, building and withdrawing and building again, until finally it crested and pleasure washed over me in waves of heat, and I forgot to think even of the physical sensations between us.
Moments later, Scott came, too, his legs shaking under me, and the throbbing of him inside me set off another, smaller cascade of pleasure. When it was over, we leaned against each other, foreheads once again touching as the sweat dried on our bodies.
“Wow.” Scott was the first to move, carefully withdrawing himself from me as I stood up. When he returned from the bathroom, I had crawled under the sheets in the bed, and he joined me, wrapping one arm around my shoulders and snugging me in close to him. I rested my head on his chest as he ran his fingers up and down my arm.
I managed to maintain a sort of post-coital haze, floating somewhere between waking and sleep, not thinking, until Scott spoke again.
“What should we do next?”
“Nap,” I suggested, burrowing down further into the bed.
Scott gently tugged a lock of hair that had fallen over his hand. “I mean in the case.”
And that is the problem with seeking oblivion in someone who is working the case with you.
My mouth twisted even as I gave myself the reminder, and I blew out a breath as I considered his question more seriously. “You’re pretty sure you’ve got a handle on the pattern this thing is using to hunt?”
His motion beneath my cheek was something between a shrug and acknowledgment. “I think so. The vampires in Dallas were using some kind of blood magic. I overlaid images of all their symbols on the map, and I’m pretty sure I know which one the creature is using.”
The comment sent a shudder through me, but I couldn’t have said why.
“Cold?” Scott asked.
“Mm,” I said, not really answering the question—but I pulled up the blanket, anyway. “If you know the pattern, then maybe you could set a trap for it.”
“Her.” Scott’s voice was abstracted as he frowned, clearly working something out.
“Her? What do you mean?”
Scott’s gaze flicked back to my face, but his frown didn’t disappear. Instead, now it focused on me. “The monster is a female. I’m sure I told you that.”
Anxiety took hold in the pit of my stomach, rolling and twisting into something akin to fear. “How do you know?”
“I saw her. The creature doesn’t wear clothes. Definitely female.”
“Oh.” I rolled over, tucking my rear end against his side and pulling his arm tighter around me, hoping to hide my response to this revelation.
I wasn’t even sure why knowing that made me even more afraid than I had been e
arlier, but it did.
That was definitely what I got for trying to distract myself with someone who was working the case.
Eventually, I was going to have to deal with whatever this was. I’d been through med school. I’d taken the psych classes, worked a rotation through the psych ward. I knew that at some point, I’d need to unearth whatever was going on with me.
But not yet.
For now, I would rest. I snuggled back into Scott’s embrace, letting the rhythm of his breathing soothe me.
And tomorrow, I would head back to the hospital to check on the children.
From deep inside me as I drifted off to sleep, a chorus whispered.
Aswang.
# # #
When I got to the scrub-in room the next morning, I discovered that Will had limited the people who could enter, essentially barring all visitors other than parents. I didn’t argue with the guard stationed outside the door who gave me the information—it wouldn’t have done any good, since he hadn’t instituted the change, anyway. But I fully intended to find out what Will had been thinking when he did it.
After all, any visitors to the ward had to suit up, too. That alone tended to limit the number of people willing to visit the patients. If our hazmat suits weren’t enough to protect us from whatever this was, then it was far too late.
We had all been exposed, including the parents and anyone they had come into contact with.
Assuming, of course, that this was a normal infection, transmitted through the normal disease vectors, and not something supernatural. If it was supernatural, no amount of protective clothing would keep anyone from contracting the disease—and no amount of contact with patients would transmit it.
After I scrubbed in, I had a nurse come in and check my suit. It was usual to pair up for this, but she knew the protocols.
Nodding my thanks, I cycled through to the ward and went in search of Will.
Chapter 20
Scott
Lili had been gone when I woke that morning, but I had a vague memory of her kissing me on the cheek as she left, and the spot where she had slept was still warm.
The open laptop mocked me from its spot on the desk. I hadn’t made much progress in my investigation yesterday.
Bloodborne (Night Shift Book 2) Page 8
