by Danika Steel
“I choose everything in my life and I don't need a man to complete or complicate it. I would be perfectly happy sharing my life with the right man, but I'm not a woman who chooses to settle for an ass hat like you just because she's too afraid to be alone. I'm independent, sociable and I sleep very well at night,” she explained.
“That's the problem honey, the sleeping bit … if you were my woman …”
"God help me if I ever found myself that unfortunate!" She snarled.
I felt it necessary at that point to intervene before it got ugly, Denna wasn't looking too happy at all and Jack was gaining a certain sense of amusement by winding her up.
“Enough!" I barked at the both of them. "If you two can't play nice then I'm going to turn this boat around and go home. Jack, everyone on this trip is treated equally and with respect. Denna, he is winding you up on purpose to get a rile out of you so stop letting it get to you.”
I hoped my lecture would get through to both of them. I wanted Jack to understand that although Denna was a woman, she wouldn't be treated with any less respect than if Jack was speaking to me, and I doubted very much he would have spoken to me like that. Denna caught my eye and smiled ruefully. She had such a lovely smile, too bad it hardly ever came out when Jack was around. I can't say I blamed her for being like that around him, he did think he was God's gift to women.
Jack shot a condescending wink at Denna and she flipped him off, much to my amusement.
“Alright, alright, jeeze woman calm down," Jack said patronizingly.
"You are such a bastard," she grumbled angrily.
Alright Denna, Jack, no need to go overboard,” I said as I poured us all a stiff drink, hoping to distract them.
“That's precisely where he'll be going if he doesn't stop pissing me off!” Her brow furrowed so deeply as she stated this, I prayed that Jack would shut up.
For the next five minutes or so, no one spoke. I was pretty sure that neither Jack or Denna felt any discomfort in this situation but I did. This was my home and I didn't favor the atmosphere that was filling it. Perhaps having a drink that night wasn't such a great idea after all, it would only enhance the contempt that these two strangers had for one another. My mother and I couldn't have picked a worse couple. Vetting the forms more accurately in the future would be a priority for me. I'd never had a more uncomfortable pairing in all my years of chartering. I think mother was perhaps a little tipsy herself when she'd matched these two creatures together.
After a much too silent dinner I suggested that Denna and Jack clear away the dishes and I began to scan the papers for the following days coursing. Poor Jack was attempting to make light, somewhat polite conversation but Denna refused to be agreeable.
“What got you into boats?” He asked, making his first attempt at an innuendo-free question that bespoke of her interests.
“There's not a lot else to do in Alaska,” she replied, which wasn't strictly true but it was clearly her way of cutting his questioning short. Furthermore, she intended on making an escape, he'd not endeared himself to her at all and I felt it was going to take something of a small miracle for him to redeem his behavior.
“If there's nothing else to be getting on with Captain, I'm going up deck to chill,” Denna announced. Again, this wasn't so much a question as a statement.
I nodded in agreement; it was perhaps for the best that these two antagonists were separated for a time. I watched as Jack eyed Denna's departure, he didn't look too pleased with her attitude but she did have every right to rebuff him, he had been a complete ass.
Allowing myself a moment to relax, I poured myself another whiskey, offering Jack the same. He accepted the tumbler of golden liquid and took a seat opposite me.
“It's gonna' take longer than I thought breaking that one in,” he gestured towards the stairs where he'd last seen Denna fleeing.
“I'm not sure why you feel the need to break her?” I argued gently. "She obviously isn't interested and it would make this trip much more pleasant if you'd give that shit a rest."
Jack sat back against the bench, surveying the view outside the porthole. His posture was bold and he reminded me of a boy I had gone to school with who found a twisted sense of pleasure in bullying anyone he didn't take a liking to; the vulnerable and less popular kids. Because of my size, (quite tall for my age) he had always left me alone and on one occasion, I'd helped out one of the less fortunate kids. If this was to be the case with Denna, then I needed to keep my wits about me. Something told me that Jack saw Denna as a challenge and he wasn't accustomed to losing. I wasn't prepared to tolerate that kind of behavior on my boat or during my trip so from now on Jack would be monitored at all times.
It was awkward, because of my feelings towards Jack I was finding it difficult to strike up a normal conversation. He continually looked distracted as if he was planning something and I noticed there was a lot of heavy, frustrated sighing coming from his corner of the bench.
“Don't you get lonesome living your life like this?” Jack eventually asked. I wasn't sure whether he was genuinely interested or he was just filling in the empty silence.
“Not really, I like my own company and I know if I want to go off anywhere, I can. Kelly and I are good friends and I love our son. I always have plenty to do to keep me busy and I have little time for boredom.” I explained while topping off my drink, Jack also accepted a refill. Every now and again, we could hear Denna walking around on the deck above.
“She'd cure my boredom, that's for sure.” Jack sneered. “Bet she's a fire cracker in the sack.”
"You touch her against her will on board my ship and I'll throw you overboard," I said with a great deal of sarcasm. I wanted him to know if he did anything stupid, he'd have to answer to me.
His crass reference repulsed me, it was bad enough that I was having to share my social time with this idiot, but I wasn't prepared to listen to his vile words any more.
“Denna deserves a little more respect than that don't you think, or do you speak about all women like that?” I wasn't usually so confrontational but the circumstances and perhaps the whiskey had made me so.
Jack stretched his legs out from underneath the bench, he was relaxed, almost idle in his demeanor, “I speak from experience Captain, which I'm sure you can relate to as you choose not to have a manipulative woman in your life either. I believe that each and every woman in this world is nothing more than a prostitute. I don't mean that all women accept money for sex, but in exchange for a certain lifestyle, they make sure their men are sexually taken care of, to me it's the same thing. Women like Denna need to be shown they are more useful flat on their back.”
I wasn't so much surprised by his attitude as I was angry, “You don't know the first thing about me Jack, I don't have a woman in my life for very different reasons than you've suggested and quite frankly I don't agree with your concept that all women are prostitutes. Kelly has never relied on anyone for help. She lost her husband at twenty and raised Will all by herself while she struggled through college and then med school. I resent your implication that women are only searching for a man to handle their problems while all they have to do is spread their legs to get what they want."
Jack interrupted, “there are always exceptions to every rule, but most of the women I meet aren't the exception. They are stereotypically and categorically the epitome of a prostitute and I don't respect them for their lack of initiative.”
I couldn't stand where this conversation was heading, the man was an idiot and nothing I said was going to change his egotistical views of the world. I stood up from the bench and excused myself, “I'm going to make a call, have a good evening Jack,” I said as I downed the last of my whiskey and set the glass in the dishwasher.
There was no point in continuing our talk and I didn't see any reason to waste my breath talking to him. Jack was a male chauvinist who didn't respect women for anything beyond his base needs. Whatever his issues were, I was no therapist and took grea
t offense to his attitude.
Jack just shrugged as if he didn't really care and I left him to it. If I had stayed and continued in the vein of that conversation, I would have blown a fuse. He was a disgrace to the male population and it bothered me as to how I was going to get through the next couple of days with him in my company. I wasn't even sure that Denna was going to be any easier to handle either, both of them seemed to have some deep rooted issues, like they both had huge chips on their shoulders. Thank God the weather was forecast to be tranquil, we had enough of a tempest brewing on board. I just had to remember that I was the one in control; if at any point I was unhappy with the way things were going I could channel a route home and the decision would be final, I refused to get in the middle of their mutual angst.
Up on the deck I could see the sun was just about to disappear beyond the horizon, lazily descending into its final blaze before resting and then rising again the next day. This was my favorite time of the day; the world seemed to stop momentarily as the sun took a bow. Denna was watching from the port side of the boat, leaning over the rails.
“It gets more beautiful each night,” I said as I joined her.
“It certainly does, I never tire of watching sunsets, if ever I have a problem in my day I always put it to bed with the sunset. I know it's still going to be there the next day but I approach it in a different way from the previous day … it always seems to work that way.”
She looked wistfully out across the water, almost lost in a nostalgic sadness. I wondered what Denna's story was, everyone had a story, it's what makes us function; act and react. Denna gave the impression that she was a one-woman show and that her independence was not to be messed with. Perhaps she'd been hurt in the past, (I assumed from a man) but she was hard to figure out, a closed book, not to be opened until she said so. In that very moment though, I sensed a slight softness in her manner. She was more relaxed with me, it was possible that the cold, hard Denna was in fact just a facade, a mask she wore to fend off unwanted situations; her protection against the world.
“I'm sure you're trying to work me out Captain Seth…but I won't let you, not until I'm ready.” How had she known what I was thinking? I was startled by her intuitive statement. I should learn to keep my thoughts a little quieter if she was able to read me so well, but I understood completely what she meant and found there was no need for reciprocation.
We stood silently for a moment, enjoying the view and savoring the peace. In a hushed voice, Denna broke the silence.
“I'm sorry for my terribly juvenile reactions to Jack but his kind just gets my back up, I've no patience for macho bullshit,” she explained.
“I've no patience with it either, no need to apologize, Denna, I know exactly what you mean, but I've got it all under control, you don't have to worry.” Who was I kidding? I was just as uncomfortable with Jack as she was.
“I'm not the one who needs to worry and I don't need a bodyguard,” she quipped angrily, her cold mask back in place.
I smiled and looked at her, “See, there you go again with that temper of yours--” as soon as I said it I regretted it, I'd sounded like I was reprimanding her.
Refusing to meet my eye, Denna counter-claimed, “Men like that are a law unto themselves, they know no boundaries and they possess very little, if no respect for women. He will regret it if he makes any advances towards me, I promise you that.”
I had no reason to doubt Denna, not for one second. I knew she meant every word she said and I hoped that Jack knew what he was letting himself into if he dared to challenge her. I felt it was time to change the subject, the sun had long gone and the atmosphere needed lifting from beneath the veil of seriousness it was shrouded under.
“Let's go and have a drink shall we? Try to get along with one another and when that sun shows its face in the morning we can both approach our problems with a different attitude.” Denna could hardly argue with my suggestion, as she'd been the one to offer this personal information earlier on in our conversation. She accepted my offer and we went back down below.
Jack was nowhere to be seen, it was assumed that he had retired for the evening so as Denna and I continued our discussion in the saloon it was with much less anxiety than we'd experienced over dinner. I realized that without this tension, Denna was quite a pleasant person to be around. She seemed to be opening up a little and she became quite animated when talking about something she was passionate about. I learned that she loved the outdoors and from being a very small child, she'd known how to survive off the land she lived on. While she related stories of her father hunting for their supper and helping him prepare his gun, her face would often break out into a radiant smile.
Denna Rhodes may well have had a punishable barrier around her but once you set her ease and engaged her in a defenseless conversation, it was breathtaking to watch her blossom.
As she finished one of her stories she looked at me curiously, “Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked.
I hadn't been aware of my actions but I knew what she meant, “You should smile more often,” I gently recommended.
Denna frowned from her eyes but her mouth was still soft, a slight pinkness reached her cheeks, was she blushing? She quickly changed the subject, and her mask came back up. She may have felt comfortable with me, but when she was worried, she threw the mask back on. It would take time to build up her confidence in me but I was confident it would happen--confident I wanted it to happen.
We talked easily for several hours, not particularly drinking so much but enjoying each other’s company, I wasn't sure whether it was my imagination or not, but I did feel a certain hint of chemistry between us, this of course, in my opinion was one-sided, I wasn't too sure whether Denna felt the same.
One of my rules during a trip was not to get romantically involved. This rule had never applied to me but it was something I always stipulated to my clients. It was different if they embarked on a trip as an established couple but there was no time for flirting and messing around while sailing; unnecessary distractions were to be left at the marina.
However, I was taken by surprise with Denna. My boundaries would remain in place but maybe that was for the best. I was perhaps just being an old fool, flattered by the fact that a woman of her beauty even wanted to spend time talking to me. I know her only other option for companionship was Jack, which made me the default choice and I shouldn't read too much into her attention, but I found myself eager to talk to her. I knew she had a sad story and I knew she wasn't yet comfortable talking about it, but I felt the urge to share some of my story with her when she offered me the perfect opportunity.
"How did you come by the name 'Amber Rose' for your lovely boat?" she asked as I poured another glass of wine for each of us.
"Amber was my high school sweetheart, my first love and my fiancé," I said sadly. "I lost her in a tragic drunk driving accident about a year after our engagement."
"How sad," Denna frowned. "I'm so sorry."
"It was a long time ago, but I've never really gotten over it," I admitted. "Not that I'm pining away for my lost love. I managed to let her go, but the desire to start over with someone new has just never been there for me. My relationship with Amber caught me by surprise in the beginning. I never paid much attention to girls before her and I suppose I returned to my old ways after her." I sighed softly. "When I lost Amber I was still really just a boy, and it was only a few months later that I lost my father too, and I just haven't been able to think about the possibility of loving someone only to lose them."
"Too much grief will do that to you," she said gently as if from experience. "But you have Will." She smiled as my face lit up with love for my son.
"Yes, he is pretty much the center of my world," I admitted.
"How did that happen?" She asked, taking a sip of her wine.
"My mother tried to set Kelly and I up but it backfired on her." I chuckled fondly. "Kelly has a similar tragedy in her past and I'm sure my mother
thought we would bond over it and in a way we did. Kel is my best friend, and somehow the three of us are a family, but there has never been anything romantic between us no matter how hard Will and my mother have tried."
I realized it was getting late and although I was happy to continue, we had an early start the next morning and we needed to be fresh and rejuvenated and I still needed to check in on my family. Saying our goodnights, we both retired to our separate cabins.
It seemed mother and Kelly were having a bit of a party waiting on Will to get home from a date with his girlfriend Jenny. They were cute together, they reminded me so much of Amber and I at that age.
I spoke to my mother about the trials between Jack and Denna and I was grateful she didn't seem to pick up on my interest in Denna. She gave me some advice on how to handle Jack's behavior and agreed with me that if it got any worse I should cut the trip short and return home. I spoke with Kelly briefly and was happy to have the chance to talk to Will when he came in after his date.
I finally retired later than usual and as I lay there with my own tranquil thoughts, I found myself thinking of Denna. There was so much more to know about the mysteriously sad woman. There was more to her than met the eye, but I wasn't sure if she was going to let me in or not. I was glad I'd shared my past with her. I wanted her to feel comfortable opening up to me, but with Jack around, I wasn't sure if it would ever happen. .
