by David Mamet
CARSON: Aren’t you entitled to admiration?
MICKEY: I have no fuckin’ idea. But you are correct—the response to a compliment is, “Thank you.”
(Pause.)
Thank you.
CARSON: You’re welcome.
MICKEY: Well. There you go . . .
CARSON: What did you used to tell the voters?
MICKEY: The voters. We used to croon to them.
CARSON: What did you croon?
MICKEY: Savage rhythmic chants. To induce a state of unreason. Otherwise called “political awareness.”
CARSON: What were the savage chants?
MICKEY: We called them slogans and promises.
(Pause.)
Two things you need, to win an election, Carson: a shit-load of money, and a magic phrase . . .
CARSON: Is that what an “issue” is?
MICKEY: . . . and the more absurd the phrase the better. Yes, that’s exactly what an “issue” is.
CARSON: But people vote for them.
MICKEY: People are fools.
CARSON: Is that why they support the governor?
MICKEY: The governor’s bottled water. Y’know what bottled water is? It’s water. And you tell me voters aren’t fools? And we all had a lot of fun playing with ’em. But when it ain’t fun anymore, it’s time to quit.
CARSON: What would be fun?
MICKEY: What do you think?
CARSON: “Peace.”
MICKEY: And what would “peace” mean?
CARSON: Sir?
MICKEY: Well, see, that’s the problem. Maybe we’ll learn to “golf.” Ms. Pierson and myself.
CARSON: Doesn’t Ms. Pierson play golf?
MICKEY: Na, she played “field hockey.” Things they do in England. Tartan kilts, pretty girls knees, li’l white cotton panties. Maybe I’ll learn to knit.
(Pause.)
The Old King.
(Pause.)
The Old King. You see? Cannot find peace, unless he relinquishes his burden—and of course; he cannot.
CARSON: Because?
MICKEY: Because then he’s not the King.
CARSON: Yes, of course.
MICKEY: Now: the successful man asks, “What might I bequeath?” Wisdom? Well, you can’t, because it’s not transmissible. How about wealth and power? His heir? Misuses the power and squanders the wealth. And the Sea is, once again, Still.
(Pause.)
The Old Man? The Kid? Broke his heart. Went out and broke his father’s heart. You want the business? . . .
CARSON: You’re joking.
MICKEY: I don’t know that I am.
(Pause.)
CARSON: I . . .
MICKEY: Is the car downstairs?
CARSON: Yes, sir.
MICKEY: Drive out with me, to the airport.
CARSON: Thank you, sir.
MICKEY: Let’s have a little talk. Get me Dave Rubenstein, let’s patch this up.
(Carson dials a phone.)
(Referring to the newspaper) Oh, look, here: “Wicked Despoilers of the Common Wealth . . . and Shirkers of the Communal Burden . . .” You know what politics is, Carson? Pawing through shit. Looking for Other People’s Money.
(Pause. Mickey picks up the model of the plane and looks at it.)
. . . Fuckin’ airplane. No. I don’t need the files. Bad, bad error. Aerstar. Their “loaner” plane. Have ’em pick me up now, in Strafford. I’ll fetch Ms. Pierson in Toronto. And then on to London.
(Mickey picks up the newspaper and reads:)
“Everything I know I learned from my father . . .”?
CARSON: Is that untrue?
MICKEY: His father was a man.
(Pause.)
CARSON (Into phone): Mr. Ross for Mr. Rubenstein.
(He hands the phone to Mickey.)
MICKEY (Into phone): Dave I just realized something. I’m too old for the game. My boy or your boy, finally, what does it matter?
(Pause.)
I’m calling you to beg your pardon. Yesterday, I said some things, in anger, which were both untrue, and hurtful. And which I heartily regret. I said things, of which I am ashamed. I’ve grown old, it seems and have lost control of my speech. I’m going to take it as a sign.
(Pause.)
Out of business, yes, and out of politics.
(Pause.)
That’s right. Out of politics. I’m done.
(Pause.)
’Cause it occurs to me, lately, Dave, that it was just a game. And all those years. I been playing on the house’s money . . . had a lot of fun . . . But . . .
(Pause. Another phone rings. Carson answers it.)
CARSON (Into phone): Yes?
(Carson listens and makes notes.)
MICKEY (Into phone): But now I’m cashing out. I’m taking my girl to a desert island. (Laughs) Well, my age is the only age at which I now can do it, so there you are. Listen. Ruby: what I said yesterday. About Steven? It was discourteous, and it was wrong. I acted like an arrogant fool. I’m sorry. I wish him well, and I’d appreciate it if you told him so.
(Pause.)
He was upset? . . . No, I’m sure he was upset. I can’t take the words back, I wish I could. I can but humbly beg his pardon.
(Pause.)
Thank you.
(Pause.)
Good talking to you, too, Dave.
(Mickey hangs up.)
(Pause. Referring to the files) Get this filth out of here. It’s bad luck. Call Henry, tell him to pay the tax.
(Mickey begins closing up his overnight bag.)
Tell Ms. Pierson, we’ll be in Toronto . . .
(Pause.)
What?
CARSON (Hanging up the phone): Aerstar’s canceled the plane.
MICKEY: Which plane?
CARSON: Their standby plane.
MICKEY: Tell me again.
CARSON: Aerstar has withdrawn their offer of the standby plane.
MICKEY: What reason did they give?
CARSON: They . . .
(Pause.)
MICKEY: Get Henry on the phone.
(Carson dials the phone.)
What exactly did they say?
(Pause.)
Carson?
CARSON: “Aerstar regrets we are unable to . . .” (Into phone) Hello? Mr. Ross for Mr. Abrams . . . (To Mickey) “. . . legally supply for Mr. Ross’s use . . .” (Into phone) Hello? . . .
(Mickey takes the phone.)
MICKEY (Into phone): Hello, Henry. (To Carson) “Legally”?
CARSON: Yes, sir.
MICKEY (Into phone): Henry, Aerstar, offered me gratis, use of one of their planes. No, hold on, and lemme talk: they’ve now withdrawn the offer of . . . You know they withdrew? . . . How do you know? (Into phone) What? Henry, what? You received what?
(Pause.)
I don’t underst . . . Hold on: why did they cancel the plane? . . .
(He motions to Carson to transcribe the information.)
“Aerstar reports they have been issued an Information” . . . what does that mean? “. . . on Michael A. Ross, regarding possible violation of the federal . . .” You’re bullshitting me. An “information”? What does that . . . ?
(Pause.)
Potential criminal charges . . . ? What? What criminal . . . ?
(Pause.)
But that’s absurd. On a tax . . . (To Carson) Get me Dave Rubenstein.
(Carson picks up the other phone and dials.)
(Into phone) On a state tax iss . . .
CARSON (Into phone, speaking quietly): Mr. Rubenstein.
MICKEY (To himself): . . . Federal charges . . .
(Mickey hands his phone to Carson and takes the other phone.)
Take it down.
(Carson begins transcribing.)
(Into phone) Dave? Stop it. Will you just make it stop?
(Pause.)
You can st . . . You made the one call, you can make the . . . Don’t tell me you didn’t make the cccc . . . You can right now. Yes.
You can. You can “advise” the kkk . . . Well, then you fucking tell him: The Kid. Wants to Govern the World. He could start by Governing himself. Calling this shit storm down. Why? Because “People are Basically Good.” Except anyone. Works for a living. Or made a couple bucks, or who opposes him politically. You tell this little prick. The first million is the hardest. Let’s see him start from nothing except the terror of dying poor—then let him go out there.
(Pause.)
And you can’t . . . you can’t . . . What the fuck do you mean, “You can’t be involved”? What are you but involved . . . What do you want? You want money?
(Pause.)
“I can’t legally give you money . . .”? Uh-huh . . .
(Pause.)
Hold on.
CARSON: I . . .
MICKEY: Hold on. Here it is . . . (To Carson) What did I raise in the last election?
CARSON: Raise or give?
(Mickey gestures “write it down.” Carson consults his notes and writes.)
MICKEY (Into phone): I will refrain. From raising money for my side. How much, how much money is that the Kid don’t have to find . . . ?
(Carson passes him a note.)
(Pause. Into phone) You know how much money we raised last time? It’s a fortune. Well, I’m going to forgo raising anything this time—I’m done.
(Pause.)
You’re telling me the Kid would turn his back on that advantage?
(Pause.)
What does he want? He wants that keepsake we spoke of, I’ll send it to you. I’ll send it over now.
(Pause.)
Well, then, what in the name of God does he want? (Pause) An “issue.”
(Pause.)
An issue. Thank you for your frankness.
(He hangs up.)
(To Carson) What?
(Pause.)
Carson.
(Pause.)
What is it?
CARSON: They are indicting you for violation of the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act.
(Pause.)
MICKEY: Give me the phone.
(Mickey takes the phone.)
(Into phone) Henry. The Foreign Corrupt Pract . . . What corrupt pract . . . A bribe? Whom, whom did I “bribe”? I . . . “The improvements on the plane, I paid for . . . . . . the permits”? I’m sure I paid for those, too.
(Pause.)
“A special exemption”? For whom? “Ms. Pierson”? They purchased an exemption for Ms. Pierson, why? “So she could work on the plane.” Why would she need an ex . . . ? “As a Foreign National. She required a special license”?
(Pause.)
And they paid someone off? To get it . . . Aerstar? This exemption? They paid someone off?
(Pause.)
Did they?
(Pause.)
. . . They admitted to it? Well, then, that’s their . . . “It’s not a crime for them, but it’s a crime for me”? Why? I never authorized . . . Well, then, wait . . .
(Pause.)
“Under U.S. law . . .”
(Pause.)
Hold on: this motherfucker? You tell him, if he wants to take the gloves off, if that’s what he wants, he’s going to call down hell. Because, remind him, I was there. When his father begged me.
(Pause.)
Weeping. Weeping, Henry—holding on to my coat. The statute has run and they can’t charge the Kid, but I will kill his campaign dead, and his “supporters” will turn from him in disgust. DOESN’T HE KNOW THAT?
(Pause.)
Frankie? What about Frankie?
(Pause.)
Wait, wait, “Canada what”? “Canada may deport her”? To . . . ? “To the U.S.” Why? They aren’t after her, they . . .
(Pause.)
Don’t tell me that.
(Pause.)
Henry. To “indict” her . . . ?
(Pause.)
No, they aren’t. What?
(Pause.)
“To indict her as a ‘co-conspirator.’”
(Pause.)
What, what is her position, as a Foreign National?
(Pause.)
“I shouldn’t discuss it”? With you? I shouldn’t discuss it with you . . . What do you mean? I . . .
(Pause.)
“As it could be construed as perpetuating a . . .”
(Pause.)
“Perpetuating a conspiracy.” What fucking consp . . . With whom?
(Pause.)
Frankie . . . ?
(Pause.)
And? And what? What do you mean, “Stay away from her.”
(Pause.)
Until what? She’s my . . . Are you crazy? I can’t leave her alone up there. (Looks at his watch) I’m going up there now.
(Pause.)
“My passport”? What about my passport?
(Pause.)
They’ve pulled my passport? No they haven’t.
(Pause.)
Why?
(Pause.)
“As a flight risk.”
(Pause.)
Uh-huh . . .
(Pause.)
Well—that would mean they’re coming to arrest me. Is that . . . ?
(Pause.)
CARSON: I . . .
MICKEY: . . . Are they coming to arrest me?
CARSON: I . . .
MICKEY (To Carson): Just . . . just a moment. (Into phone) The Foreign Corrupt Practices Act. What does it carry?
(Pause.)
You’re joking.
(Pause.)
Five million dollars and twenty years.
(Pause.)
Twenty years mandatory.
(Pause.)
Then I can’t plead and bargain. Is that rrr . . .
(Pause.)
I said, “I can’t plea-bargain”?
CARSON: Sir . . .
MICKEY (To Carson): Please, please don’t speak for a moment. I can’t . . .
CARSON: I . . .
MICKEY: STOP. FOR ONE MOMENT. PLEASE.
(Pause. Into phone:)
Henry. Can they make it stick?
(Pause.)
Uh-huh.
(Pause.)
Will they grant bail?
(Pause.)
“Under no circumstances . . .” Well, that means while we fight, I’m going to be in jail . . . Is that right? (To Carson) Get me Dave Rubenstein. (Into phone) It’s not the feds, it’s the governor. The feds will do as he suggests.
(Pause.)
Because they think he’s going to win.
CARSON (Into the other phone): Mr. Ross for Mr. Rubenstein.
MICKEY: Henry, I have to call you back.
(He hangs up.)
CARSON (Into phone): One moment please. (Pause. To Mickey) He’s on the phone.
(He hands the phone to Mickey.)
MICKEY (Into phone): Dave . . .
(Pause.)
Dave? Well.
(Pause.)
Thank you for taking my call. I very much appreciate it. Dave? I’m sorry we had words. I truly am. The years we spent together. And I’m truly sorry I maligned the governor. His anger at me was fully justified. Would you please tell him I said so? And I thank you keeping the channels open.
(Pause.)
“You can’t keep them open anymore.”
(Pause.)
Of course you can’t. No. No. I understand, it’s out of your hands. I wonder though, and then I’ll let you go, if you’d listen to me. For a moment, if you would.
(Pause.)
Dave. I’ve been wrong. I’ve been a fool. And my arrogance has injured. Not just myself. But innocent others. Dave, under my care, who, through no fault of their own . . . I know you don’t. But she is involved, Dave. And I put her there.
(Pause.)
And I love her.
(Pause.)
Dave, a man who was wrong . . . And it doesn’t matter if “he overplayed his hand,” or however . . .
(Pause.)
If he was wrong.
(Pause.)
When he
admits his error. Dave, when he acknowledges himself wrong, when he apologizes.
(Pause.)
Of course, of course there must be a price.
(Pause.)
Well, Dave, you tell me. What would the price be?
(Pause.)
A time for reflection.
(Pause.)
How much time would that be, Dave, to cleanse the error.
(Pause.)
Tell me a number, Dave.
(Pause.)
Two years . . . ?
(Pause.)
Two years.
(Pause.)
And come home to the girl? Who was not involved.
(Pause.)
Dave? Is that right?
(Pause.)
Thank you, Dave.
(Pause.)
May I send you a gift?
(Pause.)
No, God forbid. Just, a souvenir. Of those times we spent by the fire. Thank you, Dave. Thank you very much.
(He hangs up.)
(To Carson) Get me Mr. Abrams.
(He picks up the model plane and examines it.)
(To himself) Little fucking toy . . .
CARSON (Into phone): Hello . . . ?
(He hands the phone to Mickey.)
MICKEY (Into phone): Henry. The charge will be negotiated down. And I will plead to the lesser charge . . . because Rubenstein just . . .
(Pause.)
I told him the truth, that I’d been a fool, and threw myself upon his mercy.
(Pause.)
Well, he did . . .
(Pause.)
Because he’s the better man—I don’t know. Here’s what it is: the girl gets full immunity. In writing. In writing, and I’ll plead to a felony that carries two years. And I’ll serve fourteen months . . .
(Pause.)
On whatever charge he wants. And that’s the deal. Ms. Pierson and I are separated for a while and then it’s done.
(Pause.)
I want to sit down with you and review Ms. Pierson’s situation while I’m gone. No. No, I don’t want to come to the office. Can I come to your house, this even . . . No, Henry, it’s not the best outcome, but it’s the best possible outcome.
(Pause.)
Thinking further changes nothing. (Pause) I’ll see you around eight.
(He hangs up. Pause.)
CARSON: Sir, I’m so sorry.
(Pause.)
MICKEY: Lock the door.
(Pause.)
Go lock the door.
(Carson does so.
Mickey picks up a pad and pen and writes.)
I want you to leave here, go to this man, and give him this.
(Mickey continues writing.)
Get me Ms. Pierson on the phone. We need to get her somewhere safe.
(Carson begins dialing.)
Tell this man to have one of his people, in Toronto . . .
