“I just don’t get you. Today, I had such a wonderful time with you. You’re smart, interesting and so likeable. Tonight, you’ve snapped at me, spoken rudely and accused me of marrying Felix to fill my need for a family.” Her hands rested on her hips. “Why can’t we be friends?”
“I’m trying,” he said in a low voice. And wasn’t that the truth. The hurt of watching this wonderful woman marry his brother was akin to a knife being plunged into his gut. He didn’t know how he was going to get through the next few days.
He thought he was over her, able to be happy for her and Felix. He was wrong.
She snorted with disbelief. “Am I so horrible that you can’t make an effort for your brother’s sake, if not for mine?”
He shook his head, scared to speak and say the wrong words. Look at how incorrect he’d already got it.
Her finger poked his chest, annoyance had warmed her cheeks and he could see her muscles were tight with indignation. “Talk to me now or I’m leaving.” She threatened. “Why can’t you like me and make your brother happy?”
“That’s the problem,” he confided. “I do like you. I like you a lot. I like you way more than is decent and proper.”
Chapter 4
Kaylah stood immobilised, looking at Jonah. Her mouth was open but no words came out. Her lashes fluttered and she cleared her throat. Shifting her stance, she felt her brow furrow. “D-did you…”
“Yeah,” he said in a low voice. “I just told you why I’m not acting well around you. I’m crazy for you, have been since we met.” He shuffled his feet from side to side.
She shook her head, still unable to believe what he was saying. “B-but how? You hardly know me.”
“I’m old enough and have dated enough women to know you’re the one I want. It’s killing me inside to know that you can’t be mine.” He paused. “I’m sorry that I’ve been rude but…” He stopped and ran his hands haphazardly through his hair. “I wish it was me marrying you, not my brother. There, I’ve said it.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I don’t know if it’s better or not that I’ve been honest with you.”
Her lungs ached with raw emotion from the secret he’d just confided in her. “How can you want to marry me when you hardly know me?”
She took a step back, away from him, stumbling on her feet. In a second, he had her in his arms, holding her. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” she said, her voice breathless and needy. She felt the strength in his toned body and a lump of want and confusion got stuck in her throat. “I think you should let me go.” It was wrong to be in his arms, even if it was because he’d caught her before she’d tripped and fallen.
“Of course.” He released her and returned his hands to his pockets.
“Apart from today, you’ve had only a few hours of conversation with me. That’s not enough time to know me, know that you want to marry me.” She crossed her arms defensively over her chest. “I hope you’re not saying things to cause problems between Felix and me.”
The accusation was unfounded and she knew he was too honest to do so. But she was struggling to believe he liked her in that way. Their gazes met and she could see despair and angst clouding his eyes. His feelings were real.
“Do you really believe that?” he asked.
“No, I just said it,” she said. “But I just don’t understand.”
He took her hand and guided her to a wooden bench where they sat facing each other.
Despite the warm summer air, she shivered.
“Can I get you a jacket?” His forehead was creased with concern.
“No, thank you. I’m feeling a little out of sorts. I certainly didn’t expect to be having this conversation tonight,” she said before looking at the house, ablaze with lights, music, and laughter flowing out of the open windows.
Felix. Was he looking for her? Did he have any idea of Jonah’s feelings toward her?
“We should go inside. We’ll be missed,” he said, obviously thinking she wanted to get away from him.
She turned to him. “You wanted to say something to me,” she said feeling torn and conflicted. She wanted to hear what he had to say but also wanted to get inside. Had Felix or someone else noticed how long they’d been away?
“You go.” His hand waved in the air, indicating the house. “I’ll stay out here for a little longer,” he said, his voice filled with understanding and empathy. How did he seem to read her thoughts and understand what she was going through? She knew she felt something towards Jonah but had dismissed it. She was marrying his brother. She needed stability and reliability which Felix had bucket loads of. Jonah was flighty and didn’t have a stable working career. Either he was working himself so hard he ended up in hospital or working in a tropical paradise, ignoring his family.
True, she found herself physically attracted to Jonah, but that wasn’t a good basis for marriage. Despite his flaws, she knew Felix would make her happy and in time, perhaps love would come?
She stood and took in the weary lines around his mouth. “I should go. Goodbye,” she said, before turning and walking back to the house and the stability of the Randall family.
Jonah was not a smoker but he itched for a cigarette, something to fiddle with and ease the frustration in his belly. Out of ten, he’d handled that a minus five. He’d botched things up, made a fool of himself and embarrassed Kaylah. God, what an idiot he was. He paced around the garden as his belly churned with annoyance and irritation at himself for revealing his feelings to her. Couldn’t he keep his big mouth shut?
He’d tried to keep a reign on his emotions but after holding her close and feeling her slim curves beneath his fingers, he’d struggled. Struggled with keeping his thoughts to himself.
Tomorrow he’d apologise again and then stay away from her. The wedding was soon and he had plenty of relatives to visit, his wedding outfit to try on and ways to help his mum so he could avoid Kaylah as much as possible. Once she and Felix were married, he’d return to his sanctuary, Samoa. The tropical paradise was so different from Melbourne that he could pretend to be someone that he wasn’t. And there he could stay and allow his heart to heal once more.
He’d done it before; he could do it again.
Standing, he walked slowly to the house but went around the side so he could enter via the laundry and hopefully not encounter any nosy family members.
Unfortunately, his father was there, adding beers to the laundry sink filled with ice. Worry marred his forehead. “You okay, son?”
He rubbed his jaw. “Fine, I’m just a little tired.”
His father dropped the remaining bottles back into the ice to face him. “You can pretend all you like, but there’s something going on?” He placed his hand on Jonah’s shoulder. “You feeling left out?”
“Dad, I don’t want to talk about it,” he pleaded, hoping his dad would drop the questions.
He didn’t, of course. “Jonah, you left in a manner that worried your mother and me. We didn’t say anything because you’re a grown man and we trust you to make your own decisions. But, you’re not happy. What’s going on?”
Jonah pointed to the door. “You have a house full of people. Everyone is happy. Does it matter that I’m not?”
James closed the door. “You’re more important. Want to tell me about it?”
“Not really. I’m fine. I’ll get over it.” He shrugged.
“You’ll meet someone, too,” his father reassured him.
Jonah started to correct him but stopped. Let his parents think he was feeling left out as the non-married brother. It was better that way, better than the truth. That he was crazy in love with his brother’s fiancée. They’d flip. They’d worry about him ruining the wedding. Not that he would do that.
“Thanks, Dad,” he said. “I know I can always rely on you.” He gave his father a warm embrace before opening the door and walking out of the laundry.
Later that night, back at Felix’s apartment, after too many champagnes, more dancing and cake, K
aylah slipped her shoes off and rubbed her feet. “My feet are so sore,” she grumbled.
Felix came up behind her and massaged her shoulders. “Better?”
“That feels good,” she purred, loving the gentle press of his fingers. “You have a good touch.”
Minutes later his hands moved to cup her breasts and he pressed kisses along her neck. His fingers massaged her nipples to tight buds and her head fell back as he seduced her with ease. Closing her eyes she imagined Jonah’s chest and how well defined his muscles were. She swore and her eyes snapped open. How had that happened? It was Felix touching her, Felix who was filling her with desire, not Jonah.
“You’re not relaxing, babe,” Felix said before nibbling her ear.
Kaylah stilled, remembering the rawness in Jonah’s confession hours earlier. She really needed to stop thinking about him and focus on Felix.
The kissing and nibbling stopped. “It’s okay. I get it,” he said before walking around to face her. “You’re tired.”
“I’m sorry, I think I drank too much champagne.”
“Well I certainly don’t want to take advantage of you,” he said before kissing her nose.
Felix undressed and then walked naked to the bedroom. “I’ll wait for you in bed.”
Kaylah swallowed hard. This was wrong. She shouldn’t be thinking about Jonah when she was about to marry his brother.
She watched Felix’s lean, sculpted body as he walked, subconsciously comparing the brothers. It was the same as it had been at the beach. Whilst Felix removed most of his body hair, had a perfectly styled haircut and his muscles were lean from working out in a gym, his brother was different.
Jonah was manlier in that his chest and arms were sprinkled with dark hair, his hair needed a trim, and his skin was sun-drenched from being outside rather than from a salon.
Until Jonah had returned, she’d never questioned her feelings for Felix, her reasons for marrying him and certainly had never refused to make love with him.
Jonah’s confession had turned her world upside down and they needed to talk.
She’d wanted to speak to him again tonight but he’d avoided her, plus there were too many relatives around who could overhear. While Felix was working tomorrow, she’d ask Jonah to help with the bonbonnieres and they could talk privately.
Undressing, she put on her cotton nightie that screamed comfort, not sexy and made her way to the bedroom.
“I’m sorry, Felix. Do you mind if I just go to sleep? I think the excitement and drinking has given me a headache.”
His brow crinkled and he looked up from the book he was reading. “Sure, babe. Come to bed.” He patted the area next to him.
She slid into the cool sheets, her skin on fire with indecision and worry. She pretended to be asleep because she didn’t want to worry Felix, but it was hours before she fell into a deep sleep, tired after all that thinking about what to do.
The problem with her being a loner and having few friends meant she didn’t have girlfriends to confide in. Apart from Emily and her foster mum, Elaine, she was alone. Thanks to her crappy childhood, she struggled to develop close relationships with other women. She sighed before punching her pillow.
Tomorrow she’d talk with Elaine and hopefully get some guidance and help. And with that determined thought, she finally fell asleep.
Having slept fitfully, Kaylah wasn’t surprised when she woke late. Felix, of course, had already left for work, and she lay in bed for a few minutes remembering why she’d overslept.
After a quick shower and throwing on some clothes, she stood in the kitchen making a coffee.
First, she called Felix. He didn’t answer, so she left him a voice message about sleeping in and catching up with him later. She kept the details vague so he’d assume that she’d been overwhelmed with the event.
Then she sent a text to Jonah, asking for help. By the time she’d finished making her coffee, her mobile rang. It was Jonah.
“Hi,” he said in a low voice.
“Hi,” she replied, unsure what to say and desperately hoping he’d steer the conversation.
“We should talk. Can I take you out for lunch? And then I’ll help you with the bon-bonbony. . .whatever they’re called. The wedding gifts.”
Lunch? Gosh, she really had slept in. “I’ll meet you.”
“I’ve just finished helping Mum and Dad clean up from last night. If you want to meet, you can come here and we’ll go out,” he suggested.
She nibbled her lip. While she’d been sleeping, her family-to-be had been working hard, and the thought made her feel uncomfortable and edgy. “I’ll be there soon. Bye.”
She disconnected the call, poured coffee into a to-go container, and drove to the Randall’s family home.
Jonah drank a glass of cold water, then wiped his brow. It was a hot day and he’d spent the morning returning the rearranged furniture and helping his mother with the dishes. The heat wasn’t the reason for the burn in his belly; it was knowing that Kaylah would be there soon. He needed to talk to her, clear everything up and let her know that he was not going to see her, except when he had to.
It was better that he stayed away.
His fingers longed to run through her brown hair and he itched to press kisses along the length of her jawline. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
He’d watched Kaylah leave with Felix last night, his arm protectively around her shoulders. They would’ve made love last night as engaged couples would do. The thought made his blood run cold, knowing his brother could kiss and touch the woman he wanted to do that to. He pushed aside any thoughts of them together as it physically hurt him to imagine it.
He was the outsider and had no right to spoil their wedding. The love he had for his older brother and family meant he’d never do anything to hurt them. He’d accepted that he’d come in second in the race. Felix had got to her first.
Besides, even if he’d met her first, she might not have been attracted to him but rather his older brother. Attraction had to go both ways, not just one.
His family was filled with loving couples and he knew you couldn’t force love or attraction. It was either there or not.
After spending the night mulling over his stupidity in blurting everything out to her, he’d determined how best to manage the issue. He’d apologise, stay away from her and get on with his own life. Simple. He could do it.
Kaylah arrived fifteen minutes later and he took in the pretty sundress she was wearing, and the floppy sunhat that completed her outfit. She looked gorgeous, as usual, but there wasn’t a lively step in the way she walked. It had been there yesterday at the beach but not today. That was his fault, and he was going to fix it.
His heart raced with excitement mixed with dread as he sauntered towards her. “Hi,” he said.
“Hi.” She gave him a sweet smile and he felt his ribs tighten around his lungs. This was going to be even harder than he’d expected.
Inside the house, they stood in the kitchen area. Her fingers came up to fiddle with her necklace. “I’m sorry I slept in this morning and didn’t help clean up.” Her gaze took in the cleaned benches and mopped floors.
The clean crock pots that had been borrowed, sat patiently on the kitchen table, waiting to be returned to their owners.
“It’s fine. I worked with Mum and Dad. Besides, you’re the bride. You’re not expected to start working until next week.” He gave her a wink to ease her obvious embarrassment.
“You certainly know how to make me feel better,” she added. “I have to pick up the bonbonnieres today and then have to add the candied almonds to each paper box. Will you help me?” She paused. “We could talk more, you know. . .um, about what we were discussing last night.”
He nodded. “I wanted to apologise to you and of course talk.” He cleared his throat a couple of times. “May I take you out for lunch first? My way to apologise.”
She caught his hand and then their gazes locked. “You don’t have to apologise for being
honest with me.” She paused and looked at the door. “Just making sure we’re alone. But we need to work out this thing,” she pointed to him, then her. “And decide how to manage it. I don’t want to be uncomfortable around you. It’s not fair to all of you.”
Her words made sense, and he removed his hand from hers, liking the feel of her warm skin against his a little too much. Distance. He needed to create distance.
“There’s a deli near where we’re going. Can we eat there?”
“Sure,” he said with a forced smile. He just needed to fix this, for her sake, his brother’s and his family. “Let’s go.”
Chapter 5
The shops were a fifteen-minute drive from the Randall’s and after parking, Kaylah directed him to a small, family-run deli. “They have the best sandwiches here,” she said.
The deli was busy, but they managed to grab a table for two in the corner.
“Is there table service?” he asked, looking at the printed paper menus that also served as placemats.
“No, you need to order there,” She pointed to the counter.
“What do you recommend?” The skin between his eyes crinkled as he read the menu.
She chuckled. “Everything here is good.”
He stood. “What can I get you?”
“You don’t have to.”
“I’ve been working all morning”
“Well then, I’m buying you lunch, but,” she paused and gave him a cheeky wink, “I’ll let you order. I’ll have the goat’s cheese and grilled vegetable baguette, and a latte?”
“Sure, I’ll be right back,” he said, before he worked his way around the tables.
She watched him and noted a couple of women checking him out. So perhaps her unexpected reaction to him was normal. He was just a good-looking guy who she thought was cute. Right? Wrong. She liked him. Had ever since they’d first met a year ago. Around him, she felt she could be herself and not worry about her sometimes-clumsy, introverted, reclusive self. Around Felix and his friends, she pretended to be someone she wasn’t. Image was important to Felix.
Falling for the Best Man Page 5
