by Tillie Cole
My pappa walked to stand in front of me. I kept my eyes to the floor as he said, “He’s worried, Rune. He’s worried that you and Poppy getting back together might not be such a good thing.”
I gritted my teeth. “Not good for who? Him?”
“Poppy, Rune. You know … you know she doesn’t have long—”
I whipped my head up, rage burning in my stomach. “Yeah, I get that. It’s not too hard to forget. You know, the fact that the girl I love is dying.”
My pappa paled. “James just wants Poppy’s final days to be trouble-free. Peaceful. Enjoyable. No stress.”
“And let me guess, I’m trouble, right? I’m that stress?”
He sighed. “He’s asked that you stay away from her. Just let her go without a scene.”
“Not happening,” I bit out, grabbing my backpack off the floor. I slid my leather jacket on and walked around him.
“Rune, think of Poppy,” my pappa pleaded.
I stopped dead and turned back to him. “She’s all I’m thinking of. You have no idea what it’s like for us, so how about you stay the hell out of my business. James Litchfield too.”
“She’s his daughter!” my pappa argued, his voice sterner than before.
“Yeah,” I argued back, “and she’s the love of my life. And I’m not walking away from her, even for a second. And there’s nothing either of you can do about it.”
I stormed through my bedroom doorway, as my pappa shouted, “You’re not good for her, Rune. Not like this. Not with all the smoking and drinking. Your attitude. The chip on your shoulder about everything in your life. That girl worships you, she always has. But she’s a good girl. Don’t be her ruin.”
Stopping in my tracks, I glared at him over my shoulder and said, “Well I have it on good authority that she wants a little more bad boy in her life.”
With that, I pounded past the kitchen, only briefly looking at my mamma and Alton, who waved at me as I passed. I slammed the front door and walked down the steps, lighting a smoke as soon as I hit the grass. I leaned back against the railings of our porch. My body was like a live wire at what my pappa had said. At what Mr. Litchfield had done. Warning me off his daughter.
What the hell did he think I was going to do to her?
I knew what they all thought of me, but I would never hurt Poppy. Not in a million years.
The front door of Poppy’s house opened. Savannah and Ida rushed through, Poppy following right behind. They were all talking at once. Then, as if feeling my heavy gaze, Poppy’s eyes drifted to the side of my house and focused on me.
Savannah and Ida looked over at what held her attention. When they saw me, Ida laughed and waved. Savannah, like her daddy, stared at me with quiet concern.
I flicked my chin at Poppy, telling her to come over. Poppy made her way to me slowly, Ida and Savannah on her heels. She looked beautiful, as always. Her red skirt came to mid thigh, black tights covering her legs, small pixie boots on her feet. Her navy coat was covering her top half, but I could just see her white shirt underneath, a black tie around the collar.
She was so damn cute.
Poppy’s sisters dropped back as Poppy stood in front of me. Needing to reassure myself that I had her, that she had me, I pushed myself off the railing, throwing my smoke to the ground. Cupping Poppy’s cheeks with my hands, I pulled her to my lips, crashing my mouth to hers. This kiss wasn’t gentle. I hadn’t planned it to be. I was branding her, marking her as mine.
And me as hers.
This kiss was a strong flick of the middle finger to anyone who tried to get in our way. When I pulled back, Poppy’s cheeks were flushed and her lips wet. “That kiss better be going in your jar,” I warned.
Poppy nodded, dumbstruck. Giggles came from behind us. When I looked, Poppy’s sisters were laughing. At least Ida was, Savannah was pretty much just gaping.
Reaching down for Poppy’s hand, I clasped it in mine. “You ready?”
Poppy stared at our hands. “We’re going to school like this?”
I frowned. “Yeah. Why?”
“Then everyone will know. They’ll all talk, and—”
I smashed my lips to hers again, and, when I pulled back, said, “So let them talk. You never cared before. Don’t start now.”
“They’ll think we’re boyfriend and girlfriend again.”
I scowled. “We are,” I said plainly. Poppy blinked, and blinked again. Then, extinguishing my anger completely, she smiled and fell into my side. Her head rested on my bicep.
Looking up, she said, “Then, yes, I’m ready.”
I let myself hold Poppy’s gaze for a few seconds longer than normal. Our kiss may have been a middle finger to anyone who didn’t want us together, but her smile was a middle finger to the darkness in my soul.
Poppy’s sisters ran to our side and joined us as we started walking toward our schools. Just before we turned toward the blossom grove, I glanced back over my shoulder. Mr. Litchfield was watching us go. I stiffened when I saw the stormy look on his face. But I gritted my teeth. This was one fight he was definitely going to lose.
Ida chatted the entire way to her school, Poppy laughing fondly at her youngest sister. I understood why. Ida was a miniature Poppy. Even down to the dimples on her cheeks.
Savannah was a different personality altogether. She was more introverted, a deep thinker. And clearly protective of Poppy’s happiness.
With a quick wave goodbye, Savannah left us to go into the junior high school. As she walked away, Poppy said, “She was real quiet.”
“It’s me,” I replied. Poppy looked at me, shocked.
“No,” she argued. “She loves you.”
My jaw tensed. “She loves who I used to be.” I shrugged. “I get it. She’s worried I’ll break your heart.”
Poppy pulled me to stop beside a tree near the entrance of our school. I glanced away. “What’s happened?” she asked.
“Nothing,” I replied.
She stepped into the path of my stare. “You won’t break my heart,” she stated with one hundred percent conviction. “The boy who took me to the creek, and then to listen to an orchestra, could never break my heart.”
I remained silent.
“Plus, if my heart breaks, so does yours, remember?”
I huffed at that reminder. Poppy pushed me until my back was against the tree. I saw students beginning to enter the school, most of them looking at us. The whispers were already beginning.
“Would you hurt me, Rune?” Poppy demanded.
Defeated by her tenacity, I placed a hand on the nape of her neck, and assured her, “Never.”
“Then to hell with what anyone else thinks.”
I laughed at her fire. She smiled and put her hand on her hip. “How was that for attitude? Bad-girl enough?”
Taking her by surprise, I spun her until her back was against the tree. Before she had a chance to argue, I closed in and kissed her. Our lips were slow-moving, the kiss was deep, Poppy’s lips parting to let in my tongue. I tasted the sweetness in her mouth, before pulling away.
Poppy was breathless. Combing through my damp hair with her fingers, she said, “I know you, Rune. You wouldn’t hurt me.” She scrunched her nose and joked, “I’d bet my life on it.”
An ache tried to form in my chest. “That wasn’t funny.”
She held her finger and thumb about an inch apart. “It was. A little bit.”
I shook my head. “You do know me, Poppymin. Only you. For you. For you only.”
Poppy studied me. “And maybe that’s the problem,” she concluded. “Maybe if you let other people in. Maybe if you showed those you love that you’re still you underneath all the dark clothes and broodiness, they wouldn’t judge you so harshly. They’d love you for whoever you chose to be, because they’d see your true soul.”
I stayed silent, then she said, “Like Alton. How’s your relationship with Alton?”
“He’s a kid,” I replied, not understanding what she meant.
“He’s a little boy who worships you. A little boy who’s upset you don’t speak to him, or do anything with him.”
I felt those words tunnel a pit into my stomach. “How do you know?”
“Because he told me,” she said. “He got upset.”
I pictured Alton crying, but I quickly chased it away. I didn’t want to think of it. I may not have much to do with him, but I didn’t want to see him cry.
“There’s a reason he has long hair, you know? There’s a reason he pushes it from his face like you do. It’s real cute.”
“He has long hair because he’s Norwegian.”
Poppy rolled her eyes. “Not every Norwegian boy has long hair, Rune. Don’t be silly. He has long hair because he wants to be like you. He imitates your habits, your idiosyncrasies, because he wants to be like you. He wants you to notice him. He adores you.”
My head dropped to face the ground. Poppy guided it back with her hands. She searched my eyes. “And your pappa? Why don’t you—”
“Enough,” I spat out, harshly, refusing to talk about him. I would never forgive him for taking me away. This one topic was off-limits, even for Poppy. Poppy seemed neither hurt nor offended by my outburst. Instead, all I saw was sympathy in her face.
I couldn’t bear that either.
Taking her hand, and without another word, I pulled her toward the school. Poppy gripped my hand tightly when other students stopped looking and started staring. “Let them stare,” I said to Poppy as we entered the school gates.
“Okay,” she replied and edged closer to my side.
When we walked into the hallway, I saw Deacon, Judson, Jorie, Avery and Ruby all gathered near their lockers. I hadn’t spoken to any of them since the party.
None of them knew of this development.
It was Jorie who turned first, her eyes widening when her gaze fell to Poppy’s and my joined hands. She must have said something under her breath, because in seconds, all our friends turned to look at us. Confusion was all over their faces.
Turning to Poppy, I urged, “Come on, we’d better speak to them.”
I moved to go forward, when Poppy pulled me back. “They don’t know about…” she whispered, for only me to hear. “No one does except our families and the teachers. And you.”
I nodded slowly. Then she said, “And Jorie. Jorie knows too.”
That bit of information slammed into my gut. Poppy must have seen the hurt on my face, because she explained, “I needed someone, Rune. She was my closest friend except for you. She helped me with schoolwork and things like that.”
“But you told her and not me,” I said, fighting the urge to walk away and get some air.
Poppy held on tightly to me. “She didn’t love me like you did. And I don’t love her like I love you.”
As Poppy said those words, my anger faded … And I don’t love her like I love you…
Stepping closer to Poppy, I wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “They’re going to find out at some point.”
“But not yet,” she said, firmly.
I smirked at the determination in her eyes. “But not yet.”
“Rune? Get the hell over here, you got some explaining to do!” Deacon’s loud voice rang out over the bustle of the hallway.
“You ready?” I asked Poppy.
She nodded. I steered us to meet our group of friends. Poppy’s arm was wrapped firmly around my waist. “So you’re back together?” Deacon asked.
I nodded, my lip curling in disgust as Avery’s face beamed with jealousy. Clearly seeing me notice, she quickly assumed her usual cynical mask. I didn’t care; she was never anything to me.
“So it’s Poppy and Rune, together again?” Ruby clarified.
“Yes,” Poppy confirmed, smiling up at me. I kissed her forehead, holding her close.
“Well, it seems the world has righted itself again,” Jorie announced, reaching out to squeeze Poppy’s arm. “It wasn’t right, y’all not being together. The universe just kinda felt … off.”
“Thanks, Jor,” Poppy said, and they held each other’s gazes for a second longer, communicating in silence. I noticed Jorie’s eyes begin to water. As they did, she exclaimed, “Well, I gotta get to class. I’ll catch y’all later!”
Jorie walked away. Poppy moved to her locker. I ignored all the stares. When Poppy had retrieved her books, I backed her against the closed door, and said, “See? It wasn’t so bad.”
“Not so bad,” Poppy echoed, but I saw her watching my lips.
Leaning in, I pressed my chest against hers and took her mouth with mine. Poppy whimpered when my hand dropped to her hair, clasping it tight. When I pulled back, her eyes were bright and her cheeks were flushed.
“Kiss three hundred and sixty. Against my locker door at school. Showing the world we’re together again … and my heart almost burst.”
I moved away, leaving Poppy to catch her breath.
“Rune?” she called as I headed to my math class. I turned and flicked my chin. “I’m gonna need more of these moments to fill my jar.”
Heat speared through me at the thought of kissing her at every opportunity. Poppy flushed at the intensity on my face. Just as I turned again, she called, “And Rune?”
I smirked and answered, “Ja?”
“Where’s your favorite place to go here in Georgia?” I couldn’t quite make out the expression on her face, but something was going on in that head of hers. She was planning something, I just knew it.
“The blossom grove, when it’s spring,” I replied, feeling my face soften just at the thought.
“And when it’s not spring?” she probed.
I shrugged. “The beach probably. Why?”
“No reason,” she trilled, then headed in the opposite direction.
“See you at lunch,” I shouted.
“I gotta practice my cello,” she shouted back.
Standing still, I told her, “Then I’ll be watching.”
Poppy’s face brightened and she repeated, gently, “Then you’ll be watching.”
We stood, on opposite sides of the hallway, just staring. Poppy mouthed, “For infinity.”
And I mouthed back, “Forever always.”
* * *
The week passed in a blur.
I’d never cared about time before—whether it went fast or slow. Now I did. Now I wanted a minute to last an hour, an hour to last a day. But, despite my silent pleas to whoever the hell was up there, time was rushing by too fast. Everything was moving too damn fast.
At school, the collective interest at me and Poppy being back together settled down after a few days. Most people still didn’t get it, but I paid that no mind. In our little town, I knew that people talked. Most of the gossip was about how and why we got back together.
I didn’t give a damn about that either.
The doorbell rang as I lay on my bed, and I rolled to stand, grabbing my jacket off my chair. Poppy was taking me out.
She was taking me out.
This morning when I left her bed, she told me to be ready for ten. She wouldn’t tell me why, or what we were doing, but I did as she asked.
She knew I would.
As I walked out of my door and down the hallway, I heard the sound of Poppy’s voice. “Hey, little man, how’re you doing?”
“Good,” Alton replied shyly.
Rounding the corner, I stopped when I saw Poppy crouching down to meet Alton’s eyes. Alton’s long hair was shielding his face. I watched as he nervously pushed his hair from his face with his hand … just like I did. Poppy’s words from last week came crashing into my mind…
He has long hair because he wants to be like you. He imitates your habits, your idiosyncrasies, because he wants to be like you. He wants you to notice him. He adores you…
I watched my baby brother rock shyly on his feet. I couldn’t help curling my lip in amusement. He too was quiet, like me. Didn’t really speak unless he was spoken to first.
“What a
re you up to today?” Poppy asked him.
“Nothing,” Alton replied sullenly.
Poppy’s smile faded. Alton asked, “Are you going out with Rune again?”
“Yeah, baby,” she replied quietly.
“Does he talk to you now?” Alton asked. And I heard it. I heard the tone of sadness in his quiet voice, the one that Poppy had told me about.
“Yeah, he does,” Poppy said and, like she did to me, she ran her finger down his cheek. Alton dipped his head in embarrassment, but I caught a little smirk through the gaps in his long hair.
Poppy looked up and saw me leaning against the wall, watching intently. She slowly straightened and I walked forward, reaching for her hand and pulling her forward for a kiss.
“You ready?” she asked.
I nodded my head, eying her suspiciously. “You still not telling me where we’re going?”
Poppy pursed her lips and shook her head, teasing me. She took my hand in hers and led me out the door. “Bye, Alton!” she called over her shoulder.
“Bye, Poppymin,” I heard him say quietly in response. I came to a dead stop as my pet name for Poppy left his lips. Poppy’s hand went over her mouth, and I saw her practically melting on the spot.
She stared at me, and in that stare I knew she wanted me to say something to my brother. Sighing, I turned to Alton and he said, “Bye, Rune.”
Poppy’s hand squeezed mine, urging me to respond. “Bye, Alt,” I replied, awkwardly. Alton’s head lifted, and a huge smile spread on his lips. All because I’d said bye.
That smile lighting up his face made something tighten in my chest. I led Poppy down the steps and toward Poppy’s mama’s car. As we reached the car, Poppy refused to release my hand until I looked up at her. When I did, she tipped her head to the side and declared, “Rune Kristiansen, I’m real freakin’ proud of you right now.”
I glanced away, not comfortable with that kind of praise. With a heavy sigh, Poppy finally released my hand and we climbed into the car. “You going to tell me where we’re going yet?” I inquired.
“Nope.” Poppy backed the car out of the drive. “Though you’ll guess soon enough.”
