Second, I want to say I am so proud of you. Your strength, determination, and resilience have always awed me, ever since you were a child. I love the fact that you wanted to pave your own way. Make a name for yourself outside of the Iron Angels. I love that you let nothing stand in the way of your dreams. Fearless, that’s what you are. I love you so very much — always remember that.
Third, the club. I know you have made it clear that you don’t want it, but it wants and needs you. Out of all my girls, I truly believe that you are the only one who can keep it together. But to do so, you have to let go of the past. Move forward. I know what happened to you while you were in that horrendous camp. I know about the mental, physical, and sexual abuse. I never forgave myself for the hurt and pain you had to endure. Again, the strength you possessed...I am so sorry, sweetpea. I wish I could have taken it all away, but unfortunately I could not. It is a battle that only you can overcome. And you CAN overcome it, Stephanie. Please, stop letting it control you. Do not let past events and hurts prevent you from living. Trust me, it will only lead to loneliness. Take the Angels and make them yours. Let them help you heal.
Fourth, always remember to keep your faith. If you find yourself lost or needing guidance — pray. I might have been the leader of a group of the most amazing women on the planet (in my opinion), but it was my faith that led me. It can lead you, too.
Finally, do whatever is needed to make it through each day. You got this. Remember, you are an Iron Angel. A spine of steel and a heart of gold. A warrior with a survivor’s soul. Follow your heart and you will always find happiness and peace.
With much love,
Mom
~ ~ ~
Sapphire read through the letter for a second time, tears streaming down her face. This letter was so different from the person she had known. Her mother had always been hard, not uncaring, but stern. If Sapphire hadn’t seen her mother’s handwriting on the paper, she would have never believed it was from her.
Resting her face in her hands, Sapphire’s heart broke open. So much left unsaid. So many things she wanted to say to her mom, but would never get the chance.
Oh Mom! I miss you so much. I love you even more.
Sapphire had no idea what she would do about the club. Everyone was basically telling her the same thing. But could she really overcome her fear and take over? She honestly didn’t know. There was so much going on in her head, she couldn’t decipher one emotion from the other.
Chapter Fourteen
Tank
“Do you really think you have a chance?”
Tank turned at the sound of the female voice. Sapphire’s sister Sable was leaning against the door frame.
“Excuse me?” He asked.
“Sapphire. Do you really think you have a chance with her? She wants nothing to do with the MC lifestyle. So why waste your time?”
“First of all, what happens or doesn’t happen between Sapphire and I is none of your business. Second of all, what the fuck is your problem? Are you always this salty?”
There was something about Sapphire’s sister that rubbed Tank the wrong way. From the moment Sapphire and the Henchmen walked into the Angel’s clubhouse, Sable had a red laser sight on Sapphire’s back.
“My problem,” Sable sneered. “Is that Miss Goody Two Shoes was always Mom’s favorite. Poor Stephanie. Kidnapped, raped, and beaten. Boo hoo.”
Raped?
Tank stood there speechless.
“Sable you are such a bitch!”
Tank looked past Sable to see a red-faced Scarlet.
“You know it’s true,” Sable argued.
“You don’t know shit,” Scarlet fumed. “However, what I do know is as soon as Sapphire finds out what you just did, your ass is out of here.”
“She can’t kick me out,” Sable grinned. “Only the head of the house can and we both know she won’t be taking the position.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Scarlet replied. “I have every reason to believe Sapphire will definitely be taking over the house.”
“Not a chance,” Sable said, shaking her head as she turned and walked back past Scarlet. “Not a chance.”
“I am so sorry about that,” Scarlet sighed.
“Don’t be,” Tank replied. “It’s not your fault. But seriously, what is her problem?”
“To be honest, I have no clue.”
“Um,” Tank hesitated. “What she said about Sapphire...”
“You should talk to Sapphire about that.”
“Right.”
Tank watched as Scarlet walked away, but he wasn’t really seeing her. His mind drifted back to the day everyone was at Diesel’s place and learned of Sapphire’s kidnapping and the events that followed.
Fourteen years old. Raped.
Tank’s chest began to hurt. A fourteen-year-old child. A baby. He knew first hand of the horrors this world hid. He had seen them several times, not only during his years in the military, but also since. Not to mention, his time helping the Devil’s Henchmen had shown him things that still haunted his nights. He needed to talk to Sapphire, but how would he even begin to bring up the topic?
With a heavy sigh, he went to find the one person who might be able to help him — Reaper. He knew his friend would never betray Sapphire’s trust, and that was okay. Tank respected that. What he needed was someone who could tell him how to approach the subject with her.
“Hey, man,” Tank called, jogging up beside Reaper.
“Hey,” he replied. “Getting everything handled inside?”
“Yeah. It’s a mess, but it’s coming along.”
“Good. I’d like to get this place at least half-ass livable again by tonight.”
“We’ll get it all done,” Tank said. “But that’s not why I came out here.”
“Oh.” Reaper’s interest was piqued. “What’s up?”
“Sable cornered me in the kitchen.”
“Oh fucking hell,” Reaper sighed. “What did she have to say?”
“She mention Sapphire being raped,” Tank blurted out.
“That fucking bitch!” Reaper growled.
“So it’s true?”
“You need to talk to Sapphire. However, once she hears what Sable did, you will probably have to talk to her through a glass window.”
“I know I need to talk to her,” Tank sighed. “But how? What do I say?”
“Honestly?” Reaper asked. “Don’t.”
“What?”
“Don’t ask. Don’t say anything.”
“But...”
“Listen to me, Tank,” Reaper said, voice suddenly stern. “Don’t ask. When Sapphire is ready, if she is ever ready, she will tell you. She went through hell back then. But she is also a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and every trial and tribulation molds us into the person we are needed to be. She takes that shit seriously. So, when she is ready, she’ll tell you. On her own terms.”
Tank thought about everything Reaper had just said and from what he already knew about Sapphire, Tank also knew Reaper was right. Sapphire wouldn’t take it well if Tank just blurted out what he had been told.
“If it were true,” Reaper asked, “Would it make a difference? Would you stop being her friend?”
“No.”
“Would you stop being interested in her?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Then why drag the memories back?”
“Good point.”
“Trust me, Tank.” Reaper placed his hand on Tank’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “When she’s ready, she’ll tell you everything.”
Tank’s mind was racing. He wanted... He wanted to run to Sapphire, wrap her in his arms, protect her from the world, but he knew she wouldn’t appreciate that. Sapphire wasn’t the typical woman. She didn’t need saving, or protecting. She kicked ass and took names. She was the type of woman that handled her own shit. No matter what life threw her direction, she dealt with it and moved forward. That much was obvious
in just the short amount of time that he’d known her.
“Speaking of the devil, or Angel,” Reaper grinned.
Turning towards the house, Tank spotted Sapphire standing on the front porch. Even from a distance, he could see she was carrying the weight of the world. The moment she turned her bright blue eyes his direction, he began to move. The look she sent to him spoke volumes.
“What’s wrong?” he asked as he came to a stop in front of her.
“Nothing,” Sapphire sighed. “Everything. I don’t even know.”
“Come on,” Tank said, reaching for her hand. “Let’s walk.”
“I can’t,” Sapphire gave a small sad smile. “There is still so much to do.”
“And it can wait,” Tank argued. “Let’s walk.”
Tightening his grip on Sapphire’s hand, Tank pulled her down the steps and around the side of the house towards the woods.
“Another walk in the woods with a stranger?” Sapphire said.
“I don’t think we can be considered strangers anyone, do you?”
“Probably not,” Sapphire replied.
Entering the woods via a well-worn trail, the two continued to walk in silence for some time. Tank had no idea where the path led, but figured Sapphire would know the area. Coming to a small clearing, he stopped walking when they reached the center.
“Now,” Tank said, turning her to face him. “What’s wrong?”
Sapphire stood there, not saying a word. Giving her time to process her feelings and whatever else was going on, Tank just waited.
He watched as she reached into the back pocket of her jeans and pulled out a piece of paper. When she reached out to hand it to him, he hesitated.
“What’s this?” he asked.
“A letter from my mom.”
Taking the paper, he slowly unfolded it and began to read.
“Wow,” he whispered as he read it to the end.
“Yeah,” Sapphire sighed.
Tank looked up to see a single tear fall down her cheek. Reaching up, he used his thumb to gently swipe it away.
“So...” Tank said. “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know,” Sapphire whispered. “This was never the life I wanted.”
Tank felt torn. He knew he should encourage her to follow her heart, but at the same time he wanted her by his side. Even though they had just met, he wanted her. He wanted to explore a life with her. One day at a time — and see where things went. But if she stayed here, there wasn’t a way to make that happen. A relationship would be almost impossible.
“I wish I could give you the answers,” Tank said. “But at the end of the day, the decision has to be yours.”
“I know,” Sapphire sighed. “I just wish I knew why it was so important that I take over. Why not Piper, or Sable. Okay, I understand why not Sable, but Piper would be great.”
“Piper can’t because it would cause too much backfire with the police gig,” Tank answered. “And Sable, well I don’t mean to be rude, but that bitch is...well, a bitch.”
“Why?” Sapphire asked.
“Why what?” Tank replied.
“Why is she a bitch?”
“Oh. Um...”
“What did she do now?” Sapphire rolled her eyes.
“Nothing really.”
“Michael...” There was warning clear in her voice. “What did she do?”
“I think that is the first time you’ve ever called me by my real name,” Tank grinned. “I like it.”
“Stay on topic,” Sapphire warned again. “Now, spill it.”
“It’s not important,” Tank replied.
He didn’t want to have this conversation with her. He didn’t want to tell her what he knew, what he’d been told.
“Honestly, baby,” Tank said, pulling her into the circle of his arms. “It really isn’t important.”
“Fine,” Sapphire sighed. “It’s not like I need more things to deal with right now.”
“Exactly.”
Chapter Fifteen
Sapphire
Sapphire’s brain went ninety miles an hour trying to figure out what Sable could have done to make Tank peg her so quickly. The possibilities were truly endless and if Sapphire were honest with herself, she had bigger things to deal with than her sister and her shitty attitude.
“What am I going to do?” Sapphire asked.
“I don’t know,” Tank answered. “I want to be selfish and say walk away from the club and come back to Dallas with me, but I won’t.”
“What?” Sapphire asked, surprised.
“I like you,” Tank grinned. “And I think you like me, too. And I would love a chance to explore where things could go between us, but I know that is the last thing you need right now. You don’t need any added pressure put on you.”
Sapphire stood there, silent.
A relationship with Tank? Did she even want that?
Yeah, she liked him, but was that enough to walk away from here? To move her practice? To uproot herself and move across the state?
With a heavy sigh, Sapphire flopped down on the warm grass.
“I have no clue what I’m going to do.” Sapphire looked towards the sky hoping to find an answer.
“What happens if you don’t take over?”
“Honestly?” Sapphire asked. “The club would probably dismantle. None of them will follow Sable and Piper won’t step up. Scarlet is too young. The gangs and cartel would run over her in a matter of days.”
“So...” Tank replied. “Without you, there is no Iron Angels.”
“Right,” Sapphire sighed. “Without me, my mother’s legacy falls.”
“Is that what you want?”
“No.”
“Then it looks like you have your answer.”
Did she?
“Take over, Sapphire,” Tank said.
That wasn’t the answer she wanted to hear. She wanted someone to tell her reasons why she should just walk away. Taking over the club went against everything she fought so hard for — a life, family, a future. Now, she would lose it all. She would end up just like her mom — alone.
“I don’t know if I can do this by myself,” she whispered, pulling up a blade of grass.
“You won’t be alone,” Tank replied, sitting next to her. “I’m right here. I got you.”
“But, you can’t stay here,” Sapphire argued. “One day you will have to go back home. And then what?”
“And then,” Tank said. “You handle your shit. You take this club and lead it.”
Sapphire wanted to smile at that, but really the thought of Tank leaving actually made her even sadder; and that wasn’t something she was ready to examine.
“I guess I know what I have to do.” Sapphire stood and reached a hand down to help Tank stand, too. Not that he needed the help, but it was an excuse to touch him. For some reason, his touch calmed her; another thing she wasn’t ready to look at too closely.
“I guess so,” Tank replied, grabbing her hand.
Slowly they made their way back down the path towards the house. Entering the back yard, Sapphire came to a stop and took a long look around the property. Everything was just as it used to be when she was a child, yet completely different at the same time. The two-story house was still the same gray with black trim. The yard was still a vibrant green, thanks to the sprinklers and maintenance crew. Flower boxes, in full bloom, still lined each of the downstairs windows. The barn style apartment building that housed the majority of the Iron Angels, was still the same bright shade of red with trim that matched the house. Yet, looking at it now, so much seemed to have changed just since she had been gone. The place looked so...gloomy.
“You know,” Sapphire said, still looking around. “I just realized how dejected this place looks now. With my mother gone, it feels like such a huge piece is missing.”
“There is,” Tank replied. “It’s missing a leader.”
Taking a deep breath, Sapphire said, “Not anymore.”
<
br /> Walking back into the house, she went directly to her mother’s — no, her new office.
“I need to look over everything my mother was working on. Something got her targeted. I need to know exactly what it was,” she told Tank as they entered the room.
“Any idea where she would keep that type of information?” He asked.
“Probably in the safe,” Sapphire answered. “But I have no idea what the code is to get in it.”
“I can help with that,” Tank said, pulling his phone from his pocket and placing a call.
A few minutes later, there was a knock on Sapphire’s office door and the last person she expected walked through.
“What’s up?” Sapphire looked between Tank and Diesel.
“I hear you have a safe that needs to be opened?” Diesel smiled.
“You know how to break into safes?” Sapphire grinned.
“I do,” Diesel smiled even bigger. “Call it job security.”
“If you can get into it, I’ll call it whatever you want me to,” Sapphire smiled back.
“I take it congratulations are in order?” Diesel asked.
“I don’t know about that,” Sapphire shook her head.
“Are you taking over?” Diesel inquired.
“Yeah, I am.”
“Then congratulation is definitely in order.” Diesel bowed low, like he was addressing royalty. “I am here to serve, Milady.”
“Oh good grief,” Sapphire giggled. “Just open the safe.”
“As you wish.” Diesel bowed again.
Sapphire waited patiently as Diesel got to work. Pulling a black roll from the inside of his jacket pocket, Diesel unfurled it on the table. Picking out which tools he needed, he got down to business. In less than three minutes, the door to the safe popped open.
“Voila!” Diesel announced proudly.
“Thank you, Diesel.” Sapphire gave him a quick hug.
“You’re welcome.” Diesel smiled, patting her arm he out of the room, but stopped at the door. “Just for the record, I think you’re making the right decision. Talking to people here today, it’s obvious they need you. I know how much you wanted away from this life. But really, it’s not a life sentence.”
Sapphire: Iron Angels, MC (Book One) Page 9
