“And a lot more.” Gideon shook his head. “She went berserk on us, Ash. Jazz had to take Lowell to the emergency room. He’s got a nasty hole in his side where she kicked him with one of her heels.”
“Where’s Jenkins?”
“He’s in the kitchen, icing his balls.”
There was no explanation needed for that.
“Where is she?”
“In the bedroom. She’s awake but probably a little loopy. Not sure you’ll get much out of her for a while.”
“How the hell did this get so messed up?”
“There’s more to your girl than meets the eye. She’s definitely hiding all kinds of shit, but you’re going to have to dig deep to get to the truth.”
“What did she tell you?”
“Just that things aren’t what they seem. That she would never do anything to hurt you. Said she wouldn’t talk to anyone but you about it, though.”
Determined to get to the truth, Ash opened the bedroom door.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Ash halted in the doorway and took in the scene. Jules lay on the bed, her eyes were closed, but her breathing was slightly rapid. She wasn’t asleep.
Closing the door behind him, he walked to the middle of the room and said quietly, “Talk to me, Jules.”
“Knew you’d find out the truth.” Her voice was gravelly and lifeless, sounding nothing like Jules. “Just didn’t expect it to be like this.”
“Look at me.”
When she opened her eyes, the misery in them gave him pause. Reminding himself that she was a good liar wasn’t helping. She looked totally defeated.
Pulling up a chair, he placed it beside the bed and sat. “Gideon said you would only talk to me. So…talk.”
“My name is Lucy Carson.”
What had been crooked and off-kilter before began to adjust itself. Just those few words gave him answers to so many questions. And instigated a dozen more.
“You were John Leland Clark’s first victim.”
“Actually, no. That would be my parents.”
Feeling as though he’d entered another dimension, he could only shake his head. Where the hell was this going, and why hadn’t she told him before this? Hell, they’d talked about Clark. Discussed his capture. Why hadn’t she said anything?
So many clues he’d missed came flooding to the forefront. When they’d been headed to Washington to assist Liam, he had known something was bothering her, but he had allowed himself to ignore the signs of distress. When they’d been in the shower in Schrader’s house, she had almost slipped up. He had asked her about sign language, and she’d started to say something about her mother and then stopped. Lucy Carson’s mother, Gail, had been hearing impaired. It made sense that her daughter would be fluent in sign language.
And the scars. He had seen and kissed every inch of her body. Jules had some significant scarring on her arms, legs, and torso. With seeming ease, she had explained each one away with various reasons—dangerous jobs, her story of abduction in Europe, a bicycle accident when she was a kid.
He was trained to detect lies. Instead, he’d let his libido—and yes, dammit, his feelings for her—get in the way of seeing the truth. Plus, Jules Stone was without a doubt one of the best liars he’d ever met.
“Could you unlock the cuffs, please?”
Ignoring the plea in her voice wasn’t easy. She was suffering, but he knew as well as he knew anything that if he unlocked the cuffs, she’d be out of here in a second.
“Later. Right now, I want answers. Why didn’t you tell me your real identity?”
“It wasn’t pertinent to my mission.”
“And what exactly was that mission? What did you promise to do for Turner?”
“She hired me to find incriminating evidence to ruin you and destroy OZ. And if that didn’t work, I was supposed to murder you.”
Even though he’d already known that was the most likely reason, the stab of betrayal was there.
“Why did you take the job?”
“Ash, please. I won’t leave until you know everything, I promise, but I need to get out of these handcuffs.”
The words wouldn’t have worked, but the tears behind them did. Sighing, Ash stood and unlocked the cuffs. She lay still for several seconds.
Watching for a sign that she would try to run, he waited.
Jules sat up carefully in the bed. One wrong move, and Ash would handcuff her again. She would do almost anything to avoid the humiliation. Not that she hadn’t already humiliated herself enough for a lifetime. Having a meltdown in front of friends was one thing. Friends understood you, cared about you. Wanted good things for you. Experiencing a meltdown in front of people who hated you was altogether different. She was lucky they’d sedated her instead of shooting her.
“I’m very sorry about hurting Gideon and the other two men. I don’t even know who they are.”
“They’re from a team of mercenaries we use from time to time if the job is too large for our small group.”
“How…how did the mission go? Did you get Lang?”
“I don’t discuss OZ missions with outsiders.”
The barb went straight through her heart, just as he intended. If she had been standing, she was sure she would be on the floor now.
Swallowing past the huge lump in her throat was impossible. If she spoke now, her words would be a garbled mess. Jules nodded, waiting for her composure to return.
“All right, Jules. You’ve delayed the telling long enough. I know your real name is Lucy Carson. I know what happened to you, before and after you escaped Clark. And I have no problem understanding why you faked your death and started a new life.”
Hearing him gloss over the most painful events in her life might have bothered her if the words had come from someone else. But she knew Ash’s heart, his compassion. Besides, she didn’t need sympathy from him now. What she needed was for him to have an open mind.
“I’m assuming you had major plastic surgery. You look nothing like your photos.”
“The scars were significant. Plastic surgery was the only way to remove them. I could have just had them repaired, but I was too recognizable to be able to disappear completely with the same face I was born with. I wanted a new look and a new life. I got both.”
“Later, we’ll get to why you didn’t tell me the truth. Right now, what I cannot comprehend…cannot begin to fathom, is why you would work for Nora Turner.”
“I did it to protect you.”
“Protect me how?”
“Kate told me what Turner did to you. The incident in Colombia. How she betrayed you and the other men. Then she told me about how you were both sure that she arranged for John Leland Clark to escape.
“By the time she finished, I hated Turner almost as much as you do. I wanted to do something…to help. Kate said that you were close to finding the evidence against her, but that Turner was looking for a way inside OZ to destroy you from within your organization.
“We created a mercenary…Jessie Diamond…a hired gun. Diamond had a reputation for such things. Kate spread the word, dangled the bait. Took a while, but Turner finally bit.”
“It must’ve been a good cover. Turner is not only savvy, she’s as paranoid as hell.”
“Kate’s very good at creating people.”
“I’m assuming she’s the one who helped you create Jules Stone. Who arranged your new life.”
“Yes.”
When Lucy Carson had escaped that day, she had believed her nightmare had ended. That Clark could never hurt her again. Nothing could have been further from the truth. Instead, she had learned there were all kinds of nightmares. Being accused of taking part in her parents’ murders and then being blamed for every kill that John Leland Clark committed had been a different kind of hell.
Law enforcement had found no evidence to implicate her as a person of interest. That hadn’t mattered to some. Clark had used the media to start the rumor, and that false narrative had b
loomed like a wildfire.
Kate had argued for her, fought for her, and then had arranged a new life for her.
“So as Jessie Diamond, your assignment was to infiltrate OZ and find a way to discredit me?”
“Yes.”
“I’m surprised Turner didn’t hire you to just kill me right off the bat.”
“Ruining you…destroying OZ was her goal. She said you have too many powerful friends to just take you out without trying this method first. Killing you was a last resort.”
“Did you give her any intel?”
“Of course not, Ash. I did this to protect you, not harm you.”
“You’ll excuse me if I find anything you say questionable. Lying convincingly seems to be one of your best talents.”
This barb stung but also was so true that she couldn’t work up the energy to be offended. She was extraordinarily good at lying.
“You’re right. I am a good liar, and you have every right to hate me and not trust me. But I know you trust Kate.”
“Not anymore.”
“Don’t do that, Ash. Don’t push away the one person who can help you bring Turner down.”
“How long did you think you could hold Turner off without giving her something?”
“I did give her something…only none of it was true. I gave her some vague information, and she believed she could build on it to create suspicion of treason.”
Ash nodded his understanding. “Just the question of something like that would cause major problems for OZ. People would stop sharing intel with us, stop trusting us. That would definitely work, but it would take some time.”
“She mentioned another option—one she felt she could use without killing you. I convinced her to let me try for the intel first. Since having you killed held some risk for her, she agreed.”
“What was the other option?”
“She wanted to target your team.”
“She thought she could get away with having my people murdered?”
The fury in that one question swamped his previous anger. Ash had discussed his possible murder as if they were discussing a mundane topic. The thought of having his team targeted was altogether different.
“I convinced her to wait.”
“But why the subterfuge with me? If you and Kate had told me, I could’ve provided you with intel that would have had her running all over the place. Digging for stuff that would amount to nothing.”
“Because Turner is running out of time. She’s got ambitions well beyond being a senator. She wants all obstacles out of her way. You’re one of her biggest.”
“Still doesn’t explain why I was kept in the dark.”
Suddenly feeling so weary and sad, she let her shoulders slump. “Kate believed you’d go after Turner with all you had. If you’d done that before you got the evidence you needed, you would have lost.”
Surging to his feet, Ash began to pace around the room. Anger pulsed from him in palpable waves. No one liked to be lied to, no one like to be used. She imagined he felt betrayed and hurt. Causing Asher Drake pain was the last thing she wanted. She had uprooted her whole life for this mission, and it had been a complete and utter failure.
“I really thought I was doing the right thing, Ash. Instead, you’re no closer to getting the intel you need, and Turner won’t hold off much longer. When she learns I didn’t follow her last order, she’ll find someone else to do it.”
He didn’t offer her reassurances or anything remotely encouraging. She didn’t expect anything. She had lost her job with OZ, lost her credibility with the team. Lost the right to give her advice.
And she had lost Ash. There was nothing left for her.
“So what now?”
“Is Turner having you watched?”
“At first, she was. I don’t think she is any longer.”
“Just in case, it’d probably be best if you stay holed up somewhere until we can figure this out.”
“All right.”
“I’ll send a doctor to remove the tracker.”
Her devastation was complete. What she had so strongly objected to only a month or so ago was suddenly something she wanted to hang on to like a security blanket. Having the tracker removed would destroy the last link she had with Ash.
She cleared her throat, determined to sound as strong as possible. “Okay if I stay somewhere else? I’m not a fan of cabins in the woods.”
His recognition of why was almost her undoing. The pity in Ash’s eyes was something she absolutely could not abide.
Throwing her feet to the floor, she waited for him to back away so she could stand.
He seemed to hesitate, as if he wanted to say something else. She hoped he didn’t. She was a hundred degrees past her limit and needed to find someplace to crash. Falling apart in front of Jazz and Gideon had been beyond humiliating. Doing so in front of Ash would be so much worse.
Keeping her gaze focused on the small abstract painting on the wall across from her, she waited him out. Surely he would let her go now. He knew she was no threat to him or to OZ.
It seemed to take an eternity, but he at last stood and stepped back. Willing her legs to hold her, she pushed herself to her feet.
“Your dress…”
She looked down at what had once been a stunning silver-blue gown. It had been the prettiest thing she’d ever worn. When she’d slid into the dress, she had felt like a princess. The material was now ripped in several places and stained with dirt and blood, a perfect complement to how she felt.
She grimaced and tried to rearrange the material to cover a particularly large hole on the left side of the dress. “I’m sorry. I don’t think it can be repaired.”
“It’s not important. Here, it’s cold outside.”
He held his tuxedo jacket out for her, and she gratefully took it and slipped her arms into its luxurious warmth. Even though the jacket swamped her, the comfort of being covered went a long way in making her feel whole again.
“I’ll have Gideon take you to a hotel.”
“Thank you.”
She didn’t bother to protest that Gideon would be her ride. Getting out of here was her number one priority. If she had to ride with the devil himself to get out of here, she would.
She didn’t look at Ash again. She couldn’t. Escaping was her only focus. She got to the door, but stopped when he said, “Was everything a lie?”
“No, not everything,” she whispered. Her lips formed the words that her love wasn’t a lie, but she couldn’t bring herself to say them. He wouldn’t want to hear them.
“Why you?”
“What?”
“Kate said you admired me from a distance for a long time. Was it gratitude that I caught Clark and put him away? There has to be more than that. Why would you give up your career, put your life on hold and yourself at risk to do this?”
A part of her had hoped he wouldn’t ask, but another part wanted to get everything out in the open, once and for all. Even as ashamed as she felt, she just wanted to get it said.
If she held herself very still, if she concentrated on saying the words and not the pain, she could get through this. “The day I escaped from Clark…I stood over him. I had a knife. He was unconscious, passed out from drinking. I could have killed him. He never would have known it was happening until it was too late. But I chickened out at the last minute and didn’t do it.”
Forcing herself to face him, telling herself she owed him this, she whispered the last painful secret. “If I had killed him that day, I could have saved twenty-five lives…including Meg’s. Your wife is dead because of me.”
She didn’t wait to see his reaction. Turning, she walked into the living room and, in a toneless voice, told Gideon, “I’ll be in the car.”
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Jazz slid the keycard into the hotel door. When Ash had asked her to come here to check on Jules, she’d had no problem agreeing. She wanted answers, and she wanted them now. The only people Jazz trusted be
longed to OZ. Jules had not only betrayed that trust, she had done something no one to her knowledge had ever done—she had broken Ash’s heart. If she hadn’t known that Jules could easily kill her, she’d try to beat the answers out of her. But she had seen what Jules had done to Gideon, Lowell, and Jenkins. No way was she making that mistake.
Jules was sitting on the sofa, facing away from her. Jazz hadn’t been exactly quiet, so she had to know that she was here, but Jules made no effort to turn around.
“We need to talk.”
“I’ve said everything I need to say.”
The voice didn’t even sound like it came from the same woman. Ash had told her that Jules was not a threat, that she was working against Turner, not for her.
Even though she trusted her boss more than anyone else on earth, she couldn’t help but wonder if he was letting his heart call the shots on this one.
Refusing to be deterred, Jazz went around the sofa and sat in a chair across from Jules. Her breath caught in her throat at the changes in Jules Stone. Gone was the lovely, composed woman who’d fooled them all. In her place was a pale, hollow-eyed young woman with shoulders slumped from what must be a mountain of pain weighing her down.
Anger began to dwindle as doubts soared. This was not guilt, nor was it defiance. This was grief. An emotion that Jasmine McAlister had more than a passing acquaintance with.
“Talk to me, Jules. What the hell happened?”
A slight smile twitched at Jules’s mouth. “You and Ash have the same opening lines.”
When Jazz didn’t respond, a ragged sigh rattled through Jules. “What did Ash tell you?”
“Almost nothing.”
“Very well. What do you want to know?”
“Everything, but start from the beginning.”
Jules took a breath. Perhaps this was what she needed. Maybe a full cathartic cleansing would ease some of the pain. She had barely spoken to anyone since she’d left Ash and the cabin behind. Gideon hadn’t tried to talk to her, and she had been grateful for his silence. Having to discuss anything with the man who’d witnessed her embarrassing breakdown had been well beyond her.
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