taken place; but none hadbeen yet resolved on, when one morning I was called to Lady Arundel'schamber, whom I found in tears and greatly disturbed, for that she hadheard from Lady Margaret Sackville, who was then in London, thatLord Arundel was once more resolved to leave the realm, albeit FatherEdmunds did dissuade him from that course; but some other friend'spersuasions were more availing, and he had determined to go to France,where he might live in safety and serve God quietly.
My lady's agitation at this news was very great. She said nothingshould content her but to go with him, albeit she was then with child;and she should write to tell him so; but before she could send aletter Lord Arundel came to the castle, and held converse for manyhours with her and Father Southwell. When I met her afterward in thegallery, her eyes were red with weeping. She said my lord desired tosee Basil and me in her chamber at nine of the clock. He wished tospeak with us of his resolve to cross the seas, and she prayed Godsome good should arise out of it. Then she added, "I am now going tothe chapel, and if thou hast nothing of any weight to detain thee,then come thither also, for to join thy prayers with mine for thefavorable issue of a very doubtful matter."
When we repaired to her ladyship's chamber at the time appointed, mylord greeted us in an exceeding kind manner; and after some talktouching Basil's secret return to England, our marriage, and then asspeedy as possible going abroad, his lordship said: "I also amcompelled to take a like course, for my evil-willers are resolved towork my ruin and overthrow, and will succeed therein by means of myreligion. Many actions which at the outset may seem rash andunadvised, after sufficient consideration do appear to be just andnecessary; and, methinks, my dearest wife and Father Southwell are nowminded to recommend what at first they misliked, and to see that inthis my present intent I take the course which, though it imperils myfortunes, will tend to my soul's safety and that of my children. SinceI have conceived this intent, I thank God I have found a great dealmore quietness in my mind; and in this respect I have just occasion toesteem my past troubles as my greatest felicity, for they have beenthe means of leading me to that course which ever brings perfectquietness, and only procures eternal happiness. I am resolved, as mydear Nan well knoweth, to endure any punishment rather than willinglyto decline from what I have begun; I have bent myself as nearly as Icould to continue in the same, and to do no act repugnant to my faithand profession. And by means hereof I am often compelled to do manythings which may procure peril to myself, and be an occasion ofmislike to her majesty. For, look you, on the first day of thisparliament, when the queen was hearing of a sermon in the cathedralchurch of Westminster, above in the chancel, I was driven to walk bymyself below in one of the aisles; and another day this last Lent,when she was hearing another sermon in the chapel at Greenwich, I wasforced to stay all the while in the presence-chamber. Then also whenon any Sunday or holyday her grace goes to her great closet, I amforced either to stay in the privy chamber, and not to wait upon herat all, or else presently to depart as soon as I have brought her tothe chapel. These things, and many more, I can by no means escape, butonly by an open plain discovery of myself, in the eye and opinion ofall men, as to the true cause of my refusal; neither can it now belong hidden, although for a while it may not have been generally notedand observed."
Lady Arundel sighed and said:
"I must needs confess that of necessity it must shortly be discovered;and when I remember what a watchful and jealous eye is carried overall such as are known to be recusants, and also how their lodgings arecontinually searched, and to how great danger they are subject if aJesuit or seminary priest be found within their house, I begin to seethat either you cannot serve God in such sort as you haveprofessed, or else you must incur the hazard of greater sufferingsthan I am willing you should endure."
"For my part," Basil said, "I would ask, my lord, those that hate youmost, whether being of the religion which you do profess, they wouldnot take that course for safety of their souls and discharge of theirconsciences which you do now meditate? And either they must directlytell you that they would have done the same, or acknowledge themselvesto be mere atheists; which, howsoever they be affected in theirhearts, I think they would be loth to confess with their mouths."
"What sayest thou, Constance, of my lord's intent?" Lady Arundel said,when Basil left off speaking.
"I am ashamed to utter my thinking in his presence, and in yours,dearest lady," I replied; "but if you command me to it, methinks thathaving had his house so fatally and successfully touched, and findinghimself to be of that religion which is accounted dangerous and odiousto the present state, which her majesty doth detest, and of which sheis most jealous and doubtful, and seeing he might now be drawn for hisconscience into a great and continual danger, not being able to do anyact or duty whereunto his religion doth bind him without incurring thedanger of felony, he must needs run upon his death headlong, which isrepugnant to the law of God and flatly against conscience, or else hemust resolve to escape these perils by the means he doth propose."
"Yea," exclaimed his lordship, with so much emotion that his voiceshook in the utterance of the words, "long have I debated with myselfon the course to take. I do see it to be the safest way to depart outof the realm, and abide in some other place where I may live withoutdanger of my conscience, without offence to the queen, without dailyperil of my life; but yet I was drawn by such forcible persuasions tobe of another opinion, as I could not easily resolve on which side tosettle my determination. For on the one hand my native, and oh howdearly loved country, my own early friends, my kinsfolk, my home, and,more than all, my wife, which I must for a while part with if I go, doinvite me to stay. Poverty awaits me abroad; but in what have stateand riches benefited us, Nan? Shall not ease of heart and freedom fromhaunting fears compensate for vain wealth? When, with the sweetburthen in thine arms which for a while doth detain thee here, thoushalt kneel before God's altar in a Catholic land, methinks thou wilthave but scanty regrets for the trappings of fortune."
"God is my witness," the sweet lady replied, "that should be thehappiest day of my life. But I fear--yea, much I do fear--the chasmof parting which doth once more open betwixt thee and me. Prithee,Phil, let me go with thee," she tearfully added.
"Nay, sweet Nan," he answered; "thou knowest the physicians forbid thyjourneying at the present time so much as hence to London. How shouldit then behoove thee to run the perils of the sea, and nightly voyage,and it may be rough usage? Nay, let me behold thee again, some monthshence, with a fair boy in thine arms, which if I can but once behold,my joy shall be full, if I should have to labor with mine hands for tosupport him and thee."
She bowed her head on the hand outstretched to her; but I could seethe anguish with which she yielded her assent to this separation.Methinks there was some sort of presentiment of the future heighteningher present grief; she seemed so loth her lord should go, albeitreason and expediency forced from her an unwilling consent.
Before the conversation in Lady Arundel's chamber ended, the earlproposed that Basil and I should accompany him abroad, and cross thesea in the craft he should privately hire, which would sail fromLittlehampton, and carry us to some port of France, whence along thecoast we could travel to Boulogne. This liked her ladyship well. Hereyes entreated our consent thereunto, as if it should have been afavor she asked, which indeed was rather a benefit conferred on us;for nothing would serve my lord but that he should be at the entirecharge of the voyage, who smiling said, for such good company as heshould thus enjoy he should be willing to be taxed twice as much, andyet consider himself to be the obliged party in this contract.
"But we must be married first," Basil bluntly said.
Lady Arundel replied that Father Southwell could perform the ceremonywhen we pleased--yea, on the morrow, if it should be convenient; andthat my lord should be present thereat.
I said this should be very short notice, I thought, for to be marriedthe next day; upon which Basil exclaimed,
"These be not times, sweetheart, for ceremonies
, fashions, and nicedelays. Methinks since our betrothal there hath been sufficientwaiting for to serve the turn of the nicest lady in the world in thematter of reserves and yeas and nays."
Which is the sharpest thing, I think, Basil hath uttered to me eitherbefore or since we have been married. So, to appease him, I said notanother word against this sudden wedding; and the next day but one, atnine of the clock, was then fixed for the time thereof.
On the following morning Lord Arundel and Basil (the earl hadconceived a very great esteem and good disposition toward him; asgreat, and greater he told me, as for some he had known for as manyyears as him hours) went out together, under pretence of shooting inthe woods on the opposite side of the river about Leominster, butverily to proceed to Littlehampton, where the earl had appointed tomeet the captain of
Constance Sherwood: An Autobiography of the Sixteenth Century Page 98
