by Esme Devlin
“Let’s just say, for argument’s sake, that what you’re saying is true. How is trading my freedom from one man, only to give it to another, how is that the answer?” I ask him.
“You don’t want to marry me,” he says. “I can understand that. You barely know me. I won’t force you to live as man and wife with me, not if you don’t want to. I’m not doing this as some sneaky way of winning you. I’m doing it to keep you safe. If you want us to be married in name only, then I’ll respect that decision. I won’t live as a monk, but I will be discreet. I’d never bring shame on you or your family,” he says.
I turn away from him, trying to get some space so I can make sense of the situation. “I need to think, Liam. I need time to process this,” I tell him.
“Of course. This must all be such a shock for you. I’m sorry I couldn’t warn you about it, but I was afraid you wouldn’t come, and we needed the big announcement to make it seem believable.” He holds out his arm for me. “Come, I’ll escort you back inside.”
❖
The rest of the dinner goes down like you’d expect any normal engagement dinner to go down. People who I don’t know come up to me and congratulate me, they make small talk; I smile. Liam parades me around the room like he’s just won first prize and I’m the trophy. He acts like we’ve known each other for years. He looks at me like I’m making him the happiest man in the world.
It would have been a nice engagement dinner, had any of it been real.
I hold my tongue in the car on the way back to the house. I can sense my dad is uneasy, but he won’t be the one to break the silence. He won’t be the one to ask me how I actually feel about any of this. I don’t say anything until we get home. I’m beginning to process Liam’s reasoning, but I don’t understand why my dad would agree to it, especially since he has no idea about the so-called trouble I’m in with the ‘cult’.
“Why did you do it?” I look him in the eye as I ask him the question, my expression blank. We’re standing in the hallway, and his gaze shifts uneasily before he turns and heads into the kitchen.
“McGuiness made me a very generous offer, Lacey,” he says, his back to me as he walks away.
“A very generous offer? Just how generous do you need to be to buy a daughter? Asking for a friend!” I say, following him through.
“He’s making me a partner in the company. Can you believe it?” He busies himself in the kitchen with useless shit, putting plates away and rummaging in the cupboard. Anything to keep from having to look at me. “Years of hard work, finally paying off. I see the potential. Potential so great that we’d be made for life. You will be made. Your children, your grandchildren, will be set for life. You’ll never have to work like me. Isn’t that what every father wants for their daughter?”
I watch him, my eyebrows pushed together in confusion and disbelief. “No! This isn’t normal, Dad. You don’t get to choose what kind of life is best for me.”
“Liam isn’t a bad choice. His father assured me you were well-matched. He said you were fond of Liam, and that he’d been courting you. I know it’s soon, honey. But I really do think this is best for everyone,” he says, finally looking me in the eye.
I can’t do this. Not because I don’t have one-thousand things I want to say to him… but because it hurts. At least Liam thought he was doing it for the right reasons. To know for sure that your own father values shares in a company more than he values you, that’s a tough pill to swallow.
“I’m going to bed,” I tell him, pivoting and walking out of the kitchen.
“You’ll feel better in the morning. You’ll see it makes sense,” he calls.
I doubt that very much, Dad.
I walk up the stairs feeling utterly defeated and lost. How the fuck did I get myself into this situation? I have two men, who both appear to be pursuing me in ways I hadn’t even thought possible. One of them has outright told me that he has no reservations about removing my choice in anything, as long as he thinks it’s in my best interests. The other, well he HAS just gone and removed the choice for me.
Is there any point in even thinking about this? Do I even have a choice?
I lie awake for hours, assessing the situation, overthinking everything.
I could reject Liam’s offer and choose Shaun. I would disappoint my dad, maybe even make him angry, but well that’s probably the least of my worries, according to Liam. What if everything Liam said is true? I do see the way people react around Shaun, and I’ve always thought it was odd. That day in the common area at school, when he was causing a scene, and no one was looking at us. Odd. The way everyone around him are like puppets, with him pulling the strings. The night in the warehouse where he sat on his throne like a king ruling over his kingdom, and people watched his every move. The decorators that were all booked up, even when Alice offered to throw money at them. The way Stevie called all of this way before Liam did.
I suppose it’s not as far-fetched as I originally thought, especially if what Liam says is true and it’s not some obscure religious thing. But pushing the ‘cult’ thing to the side for a minute… I wasn’t even set on choosing Shaun before all of this anyway.
We have something, there’s no denying that. We have a spark. A strange chemistry that I find difficult to rationalize. When he did what he did last night, I can’t deny not liking it. But he called it himself during his big declaration: it’s never going to be easy with us. He admitted I’m never going to have choices. He showed me his true colors the first night I met him, when he forced me into a car and sexually assaulted me. There, I said it.
He sexually assaulted me.
And while Liam may have also removed my choices, at least he explained and said if I want marriage in name only, then he’ll respect that. Liam seems… normal.
Compared to Shaun, Liam seems safe.
I lie in bed and my thoughts rattle on in this direction for hours. Comparing the two of them. Comparing the two choices. Imagining what the outcome would be if certain things were true, and certain things were lies. What if Rosheen was telling the truth? What if Liam was telling the truth? What if Shaun was telling the truth?
What kind of life do I actually want to lead?
By the time I think I’ve finally made a decision, my head hurts and my eyes are heavy. But my path is clearer.
When I wake up the next morning, I’m almost certain I’m doing the right thing.
I open up my phone as I cross the school carpark and type out a message, hitting send.
“We need to talk.”
Chapter 20
Shaun
“Meet you at your wall at lunch.”
I hit send and shove my phone back in my pocket, heading to class. Is a “we need to talk” text ever a good thing? Sounds ominous. I shrug it off. I’m no stranger to her mixed fucking messages. One minute she hates me and the next minute she’s got her legs wrapped around my waist screaming my name.
Fuck.
I push all thoughts of Lacey and her sweet little cunt to one side. I don’t want to walk into class with a boner.
I don’t see her at morning break, but then I don’t normally leave the building like she does. I wonder again what she will do come winter when the snow is a foot off the ground and the cold is enough to freeze the cum inside a ball-sack and the rain comes down sideways. Hopefully she’ll see sense and be sitting at my table — right next to me — by then.
The bell rings for lunch and I head to the agreed meeting spot, turning the corner and watching her pace back and forth in front of the wall. She looks up and catches my eye, but she doesn’t smile.
“What’s troubling the little princess?” I say, keeping my tone light.
She’s stopped her pacing now and stands still as a statue, but the eye-contact she managed a second ago has gone now and her eyes are looking down at the grass behind me. “I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to come out with it. We need to stop whatever this is. I can’t see you anymore. I can�
�t talk to you anymore. I’m guessing what I’ve just said might make you angry, but I’m going to ask anyway… if any part of what you told me on Saturday was true then I’m asking you to leave me alone. Walk away.”
I stay silent for a minute, thinking of the best way to handle this. When I don’t say anything, she looks up and searches my face.
“Why?” I ask her.
“I would have thought that was obvious,” she says, shifting from foot to foot.
“I would have thought it was obvious too, if you hadn’t fucked me all weekend,” I deadpan.
“I guess I felt like I didn’t need to forgive you to fuck you. But if you want more than that, then I’d have to forgive you. And I can’t do that.” She looks shifty as fuck. Something isn’t right.
“Bullshit,” I argue. “I told you I didn’t expect trust or forgiveness, not anytime soon anyway.” I take a step towards her and she backs away, eyeing me warily.
“You know you’ve never even said sorry? Not once?”
I sigh. “I can tell you I’m sorry every day for a month, if that makes you feel better. I’d rather show it than say it, though.”
“It’s too late,” she says, her tone flat.
“Why? Why now?”
She stays quiet and breathes a few times; her face deep in thought. “Because I’m going to marry Liam.”
I smile. Then I smirk. Then I full on laugh. Fucking hell, she’s outdone herself this time. Innocent fucking Lacey. I had her down as being smarter than this.
“An arranged marriage? Fucking listen to yourself, Lacey!” I shout at her. I can’t fucking help it. This is ludicrous.
“It’s nothing to do with you. It is what it is,” she states, her face blank.
“It is what it is? It doesn’t bother you? That your own father would sell you to the highest bidder? Do you even realize how fucked up that is?”
“Maybe it is fucked up, but what is this?” she gestures between us. “You manipulate me. You do what you want with me. You play games with me. And I just let you. No, that’s not fucked up AT ALL, is it?” she shouts right back at me. I stand there and rub my neck, trying to understand the fucked up thought processes that led her to this decision.
She doesn’t even know she’s trading a monster who wants to keep her safe for a monster who wants to hurt her.
I wonder if now would be a good time to mention the fact he drugged and raped my sister. I know myself I’m a boundary pusher, a manipulator — to say the fucking least — so I don’t know if that would make him any worse or any better in her eyes.
But I can’t tell her, anyway.
It’s not my secret to tell, and I won’t do that to Heather.
I don’t think there is anything left to say. Not right now, anyway. So I shut my mouth. I turn around and I walk away from her. I round the corner and I get straight into my car.
I’ll go through Liam McGuiness.
And I’ll go through anyone who stands in my way, even if that person ends up being Lacey.
I’ll do what I know is best for her, just like I told her I would.
❖
I drive straight over to my father's club and see his car parked outside.
This time, I don’t wait outside the door of his office like a scared wee laddie.
This time, I walk straight into his office like I own the whole fucking building.
He sits in his chair, Calvin and Doeboy’s fathers sitting across from him. All three of them stop the conversation and turn to look at me. Frank and Colin just look confused, but my dad, well, he looks like he’s chewing on a fucking wasp.
“What the fuck do you want?” he says. “And why the fuck are you not in school?”
“There’s business that needs dealing with,” I tell him, keeping my face straight as I walk straight over to his desk and sit down next to Frank and Colin.
My dad leans back on his chair, and the rage slides from his face only to be replaced with something akin to mild amusement. “Well, you’ve got our attention. You better pray it’s for a good reason, son. Now shoot; we’re all ears.”
“Lacey Tyler got engaged last night to Liam McGuiness. You wanted Laurence Tyler gone? It didn’t work. He doesn’t give a flying fuck about his daughter. Laurence Tyler is now a permanent cog in the McGuiness family business.”
Frank and Colin start talking at the same time, but my dad instantly shuts them down. Then he turns to look at me. They all turn to look at me. “And what are you going to do about it?”
I miss a beat for maximum effect, and then I come right out and say it. “I’m going to make sure that the deal falls through. I’m going to take her and marry her myself. And then I’m going to do what you cunts have been playing at for years. I’m going to destroy that fucking company and I’m going to take Liam McGuiness down with it.”
My dad is silent for a long arsed moment, and then he laughs. “Never thought you had it in you, son,” he says, flicking his eyebrows at me like a taunt. “And while I’m mildly proud to discover that you do, I’m going to burst your wee bubble and tell you there are more holes in that plan than a fucking colander.”
“No holes there that can’t be dealt with,” I tell him, shrugging.
“You can’t marry Lacey Tyler,” Colin says. “She’s not one of us.”
I turn to face him. “I’ll make her one of us. My ma wasn’t one of us either.”
My dad pitches in. “Let’s say we allow it. How exactly do you intend to to shut down his operation?”
“By taking his accounts and fudging the fuck out of them,” I say.
“You think we’ve never thought of that before? Can’t be done. Believe me, we’ve tried.” Frank says, holding a cigarette to his mouth and lighting it.
“Have you ever had access to the Managing Director’s personal devices before?” I ask him.
Frank shrugs. “No.”
“All right,” my dad says, the amused look on his face growing. “You marry the girl, you fuck up the company. You still can’t touch Liam,” he warns me.
Heather will hate me. Fuck, I hate myself. But it’s the only way.
“He raped Heather,” I tell him.
My dad looks at me. He searches my face for ages, probably looking for some tiny sign that I’m lying. When he gets up from his desk and walks over to the corner of the room, I know I’ve won this fight. Now I just have to do what I told them I would.
Frank and Colin look at each other awkwardly. Frank shakes his head, exhales the smoke from his cigarette into the room and comments: “Like father, like son.”
I look up at my old man and watch as he stiffens at Frank’s words. He turns around and there’s a rage in his eyes that’s enough to send a chill straight down my spine.
He clears his throat and looks straight at me. “What do you need?”
Chapter 21
Lacey
I wake up and I’m not in my bed.
I don’t even think I’m in my bedroom.
The surface I’m sleeping on feels harder. My body feels slow, groggy, and every muscle aches. I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus. Terror trickles down my spine when I wake up enough to realize that this isn’t a dream.
This is real.
Where the fuck am I?
It’s pitch dark, and I scramble up from whatever surface I’m lying on, only to wince in pain as I hear the clanking of metal and my leg jerks. I’m stuck. I reach my hand down under the layers of blankets and feel a hard lump of metal, like a clamp, fitted to my ankle. I shift my body forward, following the thick chain until I feel that it’s attached to the wall by a heavy metal ring and secured with three thick bolts.
This can’t be happening. This doesn’t happen in real life.
I can’t breathe.
I try to back away from the wall but I’m shaking so much I can barely take the weight of my body on my hands. My chest tightens, my heart hammers and I struggle to find enough air. Oh god. Oh fucking god. Fear washes over me, consuming
every part of my body until I feel like I’m sweating all over and I’m struggling to think cohesively.
I think I might pass out. I don’t want to pass out. But the walls are closing in on me. The world is going even darker than it is already. I try to lie down, I try to focus on breathing but it‘s like I‘ve forgotten what to do. I’ve forgotten how to breathe.
I’m going to die right here.
I’m going to die.
❖
“Lacey?”
Someone shakes me awake. A familiar voice.
A woman’s voice.
I’m confused. Was I dreaming? Was it real? Is it over?
I open my eyes and see Alice looking down at me. I look behind her at the ceiling. Wooden beams. Loose cables. This isn’t my house.
It wasn’t a nightmare.
“I thought you might be hungry. I brought you some stew,” she says, her voice gentle.
I sit up in bed, backing away and looking at her like she’s offering to feed me my own left arm.
“It’s alright, honey. You’re safe. No one is going to hurt you.”
Why don’t I believe her?
To be continued…
Also by Esme Devlin
Noble Savages
Five sexy full-length novels about the bullies we love to hate from dark romance authors holding a degree in bad boys…
Tormented Part II
You can’t really win if you have nothing to lose. Shaun & Lacey <3
